The Steele Wolf (The Iron Butterfly) (20 page)

“That explains that delicious drink you gave us. Was that one of the spices that your father found? It was wonderful.” I complimented Mona and her face turned pink.

“Yes, it’s called chai. I learned it from my mother; she loved to cook and would experiment with whatever Father would bring home.” Mona replied.

“So are you a Denai?” Xiven asked. His brown hair flowed over his eyes in a rakish way.

“Um, sort of. I go to the same school as Joss, or at least I did.” I replied casually.

“How are you only sort of a Denai?” Mona replied her petite lips pursed in thought. “You either are or you’re not.” Her eyes were filled with doubt.

“I bet she is, and a strong one. Otherwise Joss wouldn’t have brought her home,” Xiven spoke up, looking at me thoughtfully before finishing. “You know how particular Gloria is about marrying into strong Denai families.” I didn’t even get to respond before Mona turned toward me, her eyes wide.

“Is that why you’ve come? You’re going to marry Joss?” Mona gasped.

“No! We’ve only known each other a few months. I’m not ready to be married.” I rebutted trying to keep the peace and not ruffle any of Mona’s feathers. She seemed to be one that was easily excitable.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” She brought her hand up to her neck and played with a small gold charm she wore. “Just be forewarned. The Jesai family is very strict about purebloods and you had better figure out what a “sort of” Denai is, because Gloria, his mother, is the one you have to win approval from.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. My mind whirled with questions. I didn’t understand. Why was Joss not able to choose who he wanted to marry? But then, I felt I already knew the answer.

“The whole household revolves around Gloria, and with her being so ill, I can’t see it in the near future for Joss to do anything to upset his mother. Especially since Tenya ran away.”

Any hopes I may have about a future with Joss teetered on a small, precarious and ill mother, who I’d yet to meet. I was not lying when I said I wasn’t ready to take get married, but with no foreseeable future with Joss should I break all ties with him now to save ourselves more heartbreak? I tried to keep the pleasant conversation going with the only other people in the room my own age, but I felt as if I had a rock in the bottom of my stomach. I moved to sit by myself on a lone chair and ponder the implications. Talbot came over and sat by me.

“Ah, I see you have met my children. They are very opinionated, just like their father.” Talbot chuckled softly.

“They are very nice and your daughter makes the most delicious chai I have ever tasted.”

“That’s because she is just like her mother.” Talbot’s smile grew wider and his eyes had a faraway look to them. “Every day she becomes more and more like her, but she never came into her gifts, unlike her mother. Sometimes she can be hard to live with because she was the only one in our family to not develop the Denai power. Her brother’s strengths keep growing and it has been a difficult journey for her. So please overlook her bitterness and look at the girl underneath who desperately wants to fit in, to have friends.” Talbot sighed and stood up, turning to me. “I hope that you can be that for her.” Walking away, he went to fill his drink.

I took this chance to hunt down Kael who was standing in a dark corner with an unapproachable scowl on his face. I had seen this look so often I didn’t even blink an eye anymore. Storming over to Kael I placed my hands on my hips and violently hissed at him. “You can’t possibly think that she ran away. What happened to your promise to find her from just a few hours ago?”

Kael’s hand reached out and covered my mouth and before I could even blink an eye he had spirited me out onto the veranda. The night air was chilly and there was only the light from inside to cast a faint glow on the stone steps. Kael pulled me far from the window and backed me into the wall, still covering my mouth with his hand. When his hand didn’t immediately let go I did the most childish thing I could think of. I licked it.

Startled, Kael pulled his hand back off of my mouth and gave me a curious look before wiping his wet palm on his pants. “What in the world made you do that?” he whispered.

“Because I keep finding myself in the same situation, with your hand over my mouth.” I answered.

“Have you ever thought that it is because you talk too much? Most men like their women quiet.” Kael spoke quietly; his eyes alight like burning ember.

“Ha! Then I’m glad Joss isn’t most men,” I challenged, purposely trying to erase the emotion from his eyes. This new side of Kael was making it very hard for me to dislike him and was stirring up a plethora of mixed feelings. “He likes open honesty and doesn’t hide things from me. I know the real Joss; unlike you. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know anything about you. I want to know the real Kael.”

It worked. Kael’s eyes turned dark with frustration, his breathing deepened and I could see an inner battle erupt. “I’m not hiding things from you. It’s just that there are things best left unspoken, for everyone.” His hand reached up to lean against the wall, which brought him closer to me. “I’m trying to show you the real me. I’m not very good at it; it’s not warrior-like.”

“I see you, I just don’t know if I believe it.” I ducked under his arm to move away from him, giving him space. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him but I chose the safer course, the ones that didn’t include me. “How can you change your mind so fast? Earlier we were in agreement to help find Tenya and now you’re saying she ran away? How could you give up that fast?”

“I didn’t give up. I don’t believe she ran away.” Kael turned to face me.

“Then why the lie?” I asked confused. “Why besmirch a young girl’s name with lies?”

“It was all a show. I convinced Nero and Joss that we needed to make everyone believe that she ran away. That it would allow us to do some digging and hunting without raising the alarm to the Septori. Have you seen this place? There is no way an outsider would have been able to get in here and kidnap a girl and get out without help. A stranger wouldn’t be able to control the dorabills or work the skycage without help. Nero said Tenya hardly ever left Skyfell, so that means the Septori were already on Skyfell or were working with someone here.”

My mouth opened and closed like a fish; in awe at the obvious ease that Kael was able to come to this conclusion. This meant that we were closer than I had first thought to finding the Septori.

 
“We needed to ease the suspicion of why we are here and plant the rumor of Tenya running away with a young man.”

“Why the fake story about your lifemate running off with someone?”

Kael looked into the darkness and the mists that looked like molten silver at night before looking at me again. “And what makes you think that my story was a lie?”

 
I barely stammered out an answer because I was so in shock. “It just didn’t s-sound like something you, er I-I didn’t think that you could…I d-don’t know.” I pathetically shrugged my shoulders in final answer.

 
“You didn’t think I was capable of love, did you?” Kael looked sadly at me. “Well, you are wrong…and right. I was at one time capable of it and in the same instance betrayed by it. So I will never let that happen again; I am no longer capable of loving, nor do I wish to be ever again.” His strong jaw clenched in resentment. Quietly, we stayed like that before his earlier comment brought forth another question.

 
“So if we are not here to find Tenya, what are we supposed to be telling people we are here for?” I asked blankly, my brows furrowed in confusion. It was the middle of the school year for Joss and I couldn’t see an answer to why we were here without raising suspicions.

 
Kael looked at me and his jaw clenched in anger; he opened his mouth to answer when a voice from behind answered for him.

 
“We are here to announce our intentions for marriage.” Joss stepped out onto the veranda and came over to me placing his hand gently on my arm.

“JESAI!” Kael growled Joss’ last name like a curse. He was tense, like a loaded spring ready to go off.

 
“What are you talking about?” I looked back and forth from Joss’ smiling face to the scowl on Kael’s. “Is this some kind of joke, because it’s not funny.” I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and felt my mouth go dry.

 
“Kael and I spoke with my father and came to an agreement this afternoon on what we would do. We thought it would be the best cover story.” Joss grinned at me.

 
“No you thought it would be the best story. I hated it from the start,” Kael grunted out.

 
“Okay, my father and I thought it would be the best reason for me to come home so soon: to announce our engagement. We will stay for the congratulatory feasts and everyone from Skyfell will attend. It will be our chance to question everyone and hopefully by then we will have a lead on where to go next.” Joss seemed genuinely pleased by the plan.

 
“But we are just pretending, right? This is all just show?” My heart raced with panic and confusion.

 
“Thalia, this is all show, for now.” Joss eye’s twinkled with mischief. “But who knows what the future will hold?” Joss came over to me and gently pinched my chin with his fingers before pulling a blue aquamarine necklace out of his pocket. The necklace was beautiful and surrounded by an intricate silver knot. Joss walked behind me and undid the clasp before putting the necklace around my neck. I was now wearing two necklaces, Joss’ and my father’s ring, which fell below my neckline. “This is my engagement gift to you; it was my grandmother’s. Proudly wear it.”

 
I couldn’t breathe; this is what every girl wanted, right? To be engaged to the most sought after and handsome boy in Calandry. I really liked Joss and had deep feelings for him, and I could see a possible future but there were so many unanswered questions and I was overwhelmed with all of the pretending and lies. “No one will believe us.” I desperately tried to get Joss to understand. “We are too young.”

 
“No, we’re not. You were about to give yourself away and marry the winner of a Kragh Aru a few weeks ago. That is what gave me the perfect idea for this plan. So you can blame yourself.” Joss came over to me and looked deeply into my worried eyes. “Thalia, what’s wrong? I thought you would be happy. Remember it’s just for show; we are doing this for my sister.”

 
“It’s just that a lot is happening really fast and I’m feeling overwhelmed.” I reached up to touch the aquamarine stone that felt like a manacle around my neck. “What if all of the stress of pretending ruins our friendship?”

 
Joss reached for my hands and clasped them gently. “What if it doesn’t? What if it brings us closer together? Will you do it for my sister? Will you pretend?”

 
The lump in my throat just got larger and my eyes drifted for an instant to Kael and I instantly wished I hadn’t. Kael was stiff as a board, face frozen, devoid of emotion. All I could do was nod to Joss and I watched as Kael turned his back on me and walked back inside. Joss ignored Kael and turned my face up to his and gave me a quick kiss. “You won’t regret this.”

 
Joss took my hand and led me back into the room and nodded to his father.

 
Nero stood up and made an imposing figure and he cleared his throat to make an announcement. “Friends, we’ve all been saddened by the choices my daughter Tenya has made and we wish for her to come home soon. But at last, we do have good news. My son Joss has chosen his future wife, Thalia.” Loud clapping could be heard and whistles from Darren Hamden, Xiven and a few others. Kael stared at the floor, refusing to acknowledge the announcement. Hemi looked up at me in surprise and I tried to make eye contact and nod to him that we would speak later. Mona was also one of the ones not clapping, she looked hurt and confused. Probably because not even an hour ago I told her I had no desire to get married.
 
I squeezed my eyes closed and tried hard to take a deep breath. When I opened them again I felt that maybe just maybe I could continue with this farce, but I was going to need extra strength. The roar of congratulations, handshakes, laughter and introductions, continued throughout the evening and when I finally had a chance to escape I took it and retired to my room.

 
I couldn’t believe everything that had happened in one day. It was a complete disaster and I was a nervous wreck. In my soul I felt as if I was crumbling, falling apart. I opened my sight and tried to see what a real Denai would see. Nothing. I was taught at the Citadel that Denai could use their sight to see all of the energies in the world in brilliant colors and they could tap into them, control them and use them.

 
When I tried to use it, I never saw brilliant colors of gold or blues like Joss and others did. All I ever saw was faint greys and blacks that would sometimes surround people like Kael, very depressing and somber. It was as if my sight was broken. The worst realization I had was when I could see a bright white actually pulsing in rhythm and coming from the center of each Denai. It was their life essence I was seeing and I could actually steal it and use it for my own power. The thought of ever doing that to someone on purpose actually made me sick to my stomach. But I turned my sight inward to see if I could see any of the white glow that I saw in other Denai in me. There was nothing, just a faint pulsing blackness, which had started showing up when my nightmares began. Every night the blackness became darker and more substantial; and every night I would pray, to try and bind the darkness.