The Stranger's Woes (19 page)

The first thing I did when I got home was to undress and head for a bathing pool. The cats stared at me cautiously from the far corner of the living room. I didn’t seem to inspire them with much confidence. Oh boy!

In the fourth bathing pool, I suddenly relaxed. It was as if someone had flipped an invisible switch. I became myself again, with all the attendant consequences. I felt my nerves tighten, then slacken almost immediately. I was about to start bemoaning the death of the brave Captain Shixola. I was on the verge of tears, but then I thought about how I needed to search for the dead Jiffa in the company of Lady Melamori, and I cheered up. Then I thought about the same thing a bit longer and grew sad again. In short, I was the same as I always was.

Congratulating myself on my return, I crawled out of the bathing pool and went up to the living room. Armstrong and Ella padded up to me and rubbed against my ankles, purring loudly. I scooped them up in my arms, buried my nose in their soft fur, and gave in to a sense of relief. A tear rolled down my cheek. I shook my head indignantly, pulled myself together, and headed for the bedroom to get ready. By the time I was on the stairs I felt an unpleasant wetness on my left cheek.

Stop it
,
this minute!
I commanded myself.
Or else
.

Or else what?
The inner voice sounded terribly sarcastic.

I
’
ll punch you in the nose!
I was pitiless.

Go ahead! It
’
ll be all the worse for you
.
It
’
s your nose!

I couldn’t keep up this idiocy any longer, and I burst out laughing. Long live the split personality—the shortest path to spiritual equilibrium!

Half an hour later, I tossed my half-empty traveling bag into the back seat of the amobiler. It held a change of clothes and a pack of cigarettes. A valuable bottle of Elixir of Kaxar rested in the pocket of my looxi. The kerchief of the Grand Magician of the Order of the Secret Grass I wrapped around my neck, just in case. There was a good chance I would forget to put it on before I went to sleep after a day like this. Everything else I planned to look for in the Chink between Worlds, if need be. I had to keep in shape.

In fifteen minutes I was already at the House by the Bridge. I approached the open window of Juffin’s office. For a moment I just stood there, trying to figure out what I was feeling. I had no wish to repeat my recent exploit, so I went around to the side of the Ministry of Perfect Public Order and entered like all ordinary employees: through the Secret Entrance.

To my surprise, Sir Juffin Hully was sitting in his office in absolute solitude.

“Has everyone taken early retirement?” I said. “They decided their health was more important to them?”

“Finally you sound like the old Max,” Juffin said, visibly relieved. “How did you manage, if it’s no secret?”

“I took a bath, cried, and threatened to punch myself in the nose. A great method. You should try it.”

“The third step would have been enough,” Juffin said caustically. “You have an amazing capacity for going overboard. Okay, let’s get down to business. Melifaro investigated the matter of the premature deaths of the Junior Magicians with the police. All well and good, but—”

“But they were simple accidents? All the former Magaxon Forest huntsmen died of natural causes? There’s nothing to grab onto?”

“You guessed it. But there still may be something ‘to grab onto,’ as you put it. In two cases, the faces were terribly battered: Sir Atva Kuraisa from the Order of Grilles and Mirrors and Sir Joffla Kumbaya from the Order of the Sleeping Butterfly. The corpse of Atva Kuraisa was identified by his sister Tanna. No relatives were found for Joffla Kumbaya. He was a recluse, so a courier from the
Merry Little Skeletons
who delivered food to him had to identify him. Both Magicians had equal chances of being our clients. The Order of Grilles and Mirrors and the Order of the Sleeping Butterfly were very strong organizations in their time, so their Junior Magicians could easily have had some horrific secrets in their possession.”

“Did someone send them a call? That’s the simplest way of finding out whether a person is alive or dead. Or am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong, but a good Magician is capable of opting out of Silent Speech. He can create a sturdy shield, a perfect imitation of death, so that rule doesn’t hold here. In short, you and Melamori will have to find Jiffa. I think they are together. If you’re lucky, you’ll find the trace of the Master next to Jiffa’s. Then you’ll be able to pick it up since you’ve already learned how. Give the bastard what he’s got coming to him!”

“Yes. He deserves it, and it’s for a good cause. By the way, why didn’t you ever teach me how, Juffin?”

“Because I don’t have to teach you,” Juffin said. “To be honest, I just wanted to spare your nervous system. You learn too fast as it is.”

“I agree with you a hundred percent,” I said with a weary sigh. “Everything happens too fast. Maybe it’s because where I come from we don’t live very long. And I took such a running start at the very outset that I can’t slow down now.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no,” Juffin said. “What difference does it make what the reason is?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that when I manage to find some watertight explanation for something, it improves my appetite.”

“Like you have no appetite at all otherwise,” Juffin said with a sniff. “You don’t sit down to a meal more than eight times a day, poor boy.”

“Where do we start, Sir Juffin?” Melamori burst through the door of the office. “As far as I understand, he didn’t leave a trace behind. He went down the Dark Path, didn’t he?”

“Yes. So this sinning trace, which doesn’t actually exist, is where you have to begin. Not too promising, is it? Undoubtedly, the least promising task you’ve faced since you began working here. Do you think you can follow him down the Dark Path? You should be able to handle it, I think.”

Melamori frowned, then nodded. “I think I’ll manage. Following an ordinary trace down the Dark Path might be too much for me. But this one—it’s pulling me along! Unpleasant, but that’s just how it is.”

Melamori’s voice sounded calm and unhurried, as though the boss had just offered her a mug of kamra.

“You and I will go together,” Juffin said suddenly. “You follow the trace, and I’ll follow you. You never know what kinds of surprises we’ll find there. You stay here,Max. I’ll send you a call and let you know where we end up. Then you come to meet us, as quick as you can. Okay?”

“You don’t have to ask. I’ll be there before the words are out of your mouth.”

“Good. Let’s go, Melamori.”

Melamori took her shoes off, went to stand on the threshold, and turned back to us in surprise.

“Did he walk right out of the cell?”

“Of course. When the door is open the cell becomes an ordinary room, just like any other, and you can cast as many spells there as you would in a regular kitchen.”

“That’s right. Okay, let’s get on with it.” She waved at me, and smiled. “Don’t worry, Max. With Sir Juffin beside me, there’s nothing to fear.”

“You have to learn to conquer a woman’s heart, lad.” Juffin laughed. “With me she’ll go to the ends of the earth.”

“Will you teach me?”

“I’ll teach you. If you behave.”

Juffin touched the tip of his nose lightly with his forefinger. I felt like a true Kettarian when I answered him in kind.

Melamori swept into the cell, stopped abruptly, stood up on tiptoe, sighed, and . . . disappeared.

“Not too shabby!” Juffin said, letting out a low whistle. A second later, he, too, had disappeared. I looked at Kurush in bewilderment.

“Everyone’s abandoned me!” I said plaintively.

“That’s how people are,” the bird said.

Max
,
can you imagine? Melamori and I ended near the
Old Thorn,
just across the road
. Juffin had given me no time to feel sorry for myself.
Why don
’
t you drop by? We
’
re having fun over here
.

Fun?
I replied, getting up from my chair.
Did you decide to mosey over to the
Thorn
for a cup of soup? What a pair of slackers
.

Don
’
t curse
,
Max
.
Your expressions are sometimes too naughty
.
You
’
re already in the amobiler
,
I hope?

No
,
I
’
m still in the office
.

You
’
re so sluggish today
.
All right
,
I won
’
t keep you
.
Over and out
.

A few minutes later I was already by the
Old Thorn
. I looked around and didn’t see anyone, so I sent a call to Juffin.

Where are you?

Max
,
you mean to say you
’
re already here? I planned to come out to meet you
,
but I didn
’
t expect you so soon
.
We
’
re in the little yellow house across from the
Thorn,
on the first floor
.
There are so many fresh traces here that Melamori is giddy with delight
. . .