the STRUGGLE (3 page)

“The trucks with all of Timothy and Hannah’s things aren’t far behind,” Charles said. “Should we start unloading as soon as they get here?”

“Maybe we could eat supper first,” Esther said. “It’s almost ready, and it won’t be good if it gets cold. Believe me, there’s plenty of food for everyone, even the drivers, so make sure you tell them to stay and eat with us.”

“That sounds good to me.” Timothy patted his stomach. “With all the work we have ahead of us yet tonight, I’ll need some nourishment to give me the strength to do it.”

“I’d suggest that we wait till tomorrow, but since it’ll be Sunday, that won’t work,” Samuel said.

Sunday
. Hannah groaned inwardly. If this was the week Samuel’s church district had church, she’d be forced to go and try to put on a happy face when she met a bunch of people she didn’t want to know.

“Where are we going to put everything?” Timothy asked his brother. “Will there be room enough in your barn?”

“I think so,” Samuel said with a nod. “And if there isn’t, we can always put some of your things in Titus’s barn.”

“Speaking of my twin, where is he?” Timothy questioned, looking back toward the house. “I figured he might be here waiting for us.”

“He and Suzanne are coming, and I’m sure they’ll be here soon. Titus probably had to work a little later than usual this evening.”

Esther touched Hannah’s arm. “You look tired. Why don’t you come inside and rest while I get supper on the table?”

Resting sounded good, but Hannah didn’t want to appear impolite, so she forced another smile and said, “I appreciate the offer, but I should help you with supper.”

“There really isn’t that much left to do. Marla set the table awhile ago, and the chicken’s staying warm in the oven. But if you really want to help, you can cut up the veggies for a tossed salad while I mash the potatoes.”

“Sure, I can do that.”

Hannah reached for Mindy, and when Timothy handed the child over, Hannah followed Esther into the house.

While Mindy played with her cousins in the living room, Hannah helped Esther in the kitchen.

“How long have you and Samuel been courting?” Hannah asked, feeling the need to find something to talk about.

“We started courting this past summer, but then Samuel broke things off for a while because he was afraid of being untrue to his wife’s memory. Since he’d promised Elsie before she died that he’d always love her, he felt as if he was betraying her memory when he fell in love with me. But something miraculously changed his mind, and Samuel renewed his relationship with me.” Esther smiled brightly. “We hope to be married sometime next year.”

I wonder if Timothy would find someone else if something happened to me
, Hannah mused as she washed and patted the lettuce dry.
With the way things have been between us lately, he might be glad if I was gone. He might find another wife right away
.

Hannah knew she couldn’t continue with these negative thoughts, so she watched out the window as the two big trucks pulled into the yard. Timothy greeted the drivers and unloaded their two horses, Dusty and Lilly, from the trailer that had been pulled behind one of the trucks. All their furniture and household items were in those trucks, along with the buggy they used for transportation and all of Timothy’s tools and farming equipment. Nothing had been left in Pennsylvania except their empty house, which would soon have new owners living in it. Everything seemed so final, and it was hard to even think about someone else living in their house.

“It’s so nice that you and Timothy are here,” Esther said. “I know Samuel’s pleased that Timothy has made the move. And of course, Titus will be happy to have his twin brother living nearby. He’s often mentioned all the fun times he and Timothy had growing up together.”

Hannah was about to comment when she spotted a horse and buggy pull into the yard. A few minutes later, Titus and Suzanne climbed down, and Timothy and his twin brother embraced. When they pulled apart, Titus snatched Timothy’s straw hat and tossed it into the air. When the two brothers started whooping and hollering, Hannah wondered if they would ever settle down. They acted like a couple of kids—the way they had during their running-around years. Timothy and Titus looked so much alike, and they’d always been very close. They had the same thick, dark brown hair and brown eyes; although Titus’s left eye was slightly larger than his right eye. That was the only way some folks were able to tell them apart. They were obviously happy to be together again.

But I’m not happy, and nobody seems to care
. Hannah fought the urge to give in to the tears stinging the backs of her eyes. They’d been in Pembroke less than an hour, and already she hated it. Pennsylvania was where her heart remained, and Kentucky would never replace it. No matter how long they lived here, Pennsylvania was the only place she’d ever call home.

C
HAPTER
4

A
s Timothy sat in church on Sunday morning, he looked across the room and noticed that Hannah wasn’t paying attention to the message being preached by one of the ministers. Ever since they’d taken their seats on the backless wooden benches inside Suzanne’s mother’s home almost three hours ago, she’d either stared out the window or fussed with Mindy, whom she held on her lap. Fortunately, Mindy had recently fallen asleep, so Hannah should have been paying attention, but she seemed completely bored, as though her mind was elsewhere. When they lived in Pennsylvania, Hannah had always appeared interested during church. Was her disinterest now because she hadn’t enjoyed any of the messages, or was it simply because she didn’t want to be here at all? Timothy guessed the latter, because so far, Hannah had made it clear that she didn’t like anything about moving to Kentucky. He’d hoped that once she accepted the idea that this was their new home, she would learn to fit in and end up actually liking the area.

When Timothy realized that he, too, wasn’t paying attention to the message, he pulled his thoughts aside and, for the rest of the service, concentrated on what was being said.

When church was over, the men and women ate the noon meal in shifts, so Timothy wasn’t sure how Hannah was doing or if she’d met any of the women. Once everyone had eaten, a few people went home, but most gathered in groups to visit.

Timothy meandered around the yard for a bit then stopped for a spell to lean against the fence. Behind him he could hear cows mooing in the distance, but he preferred to watch the activities around him. He glanced at the big maple tree nearby, now barren with the approach of winter, and noticed his wife sitting on a chair with Mindy in her lap, looking more forlorn than ever. He’d seen some of the women try to talk to Hannah, but then a short time later, they would leave and join the others who were visiting on the opposite side of the yard. This caused him even more concern, wondering if his wife may have given these women the cold shoulder.

Hannah had been quiet and moody ever since they’d left Pennsylvania, and even during the time they’d spent with family last night, she’d remained aloof—as if her thoughts were someplace else.
Probably back in Pennsylvania with her mamm
, Timothy thought with regret. Keeping to herself so much was not a good thing. Worse yet, she was hovering over Mindy again, not letting her play with the other children. Timothy had hoped that by coming to Kentucky, Hannah would want to make some friends. But if she continued to remain aloof, making new friends probably wouldn’t happen. He worried that people might get the impression that his wife was standoffish. But then how could they think otherwise with the way she’d acted so far?

Maybe she just needs a bit more time
, Timothy told himself.
Once Hannah gets better acquainted with Suzanne and Esther, she’ll fit right in. At least, I hope that’s the case, because I sure wouldn’t want her to mope around all the time. It could have a negative effect on Mindy, and it won’t do any good for our marriage either. I’m probably rushing things and need to be more patient
.

“You look like you’re somewhere far-off. What are you thinkin’ about, brother?” Titus asked, bumping Timothy’s arm as he joined him at the fence.

“Oh, nothing much.”

“Come on now.” Titus nudged Timothy’s arm a second time. “This is your twin
bruder
you’re talkin’ to, so you may as well say what’s on your mind.”

Timothy smiled, knowing how it had always been between him and his twin. They could sense things about each other, good or bad. It was as if they knew what the other one was thinking. “I’m worried about Hannah,” he admitted. “I’m afraid she may never adjust to living so far away from her mamm.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure she’ll get used to it. But if you’re really concerned, I’ll speak to Suzanne and ask her to make sure Hannah feels welcome. Maybe they can hire a driver and go shopping in Hopkinsville soon or just get together for lunch or something.”

“Danki. I’d appreciate that. At this point, anything’s worth a try.”

“You know, Timothy, you might be rushing things a bit. Maybe you just need to relax and let Hannah work through it all,” Titus added. “You’ve only been here for one day.”

“I was just thinking the same thing. You and I always did think alike.”

“Jah. So changing the subject,” Titus said, “have you had a chance to talk to Samuel about working with him?”

Timothy nodded. “He said he’s been really busy lately, doing a lot of jobs for Allen, plus some he’s lined up on his own. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be working with both Allen and Samuel on a job in Crittenden County.” He shifted, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. “You know, with this being the Lord’s Day and all, guess we really shouldn’t be talkin’ about work.”

Titus gave a nod. “You’re right, so why don’t we go find Samuel and some of the other men here and see if we can get a game of horseshoes started?”

Timothy smiled. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go!”

“Everything looks so different here,” Hannah said after they left the Yoders’ place and were heading down the tree-lined road in their horse and buggy toward Samuel’s house. “The grass in the fields is an ugly brown, and from what I can tell, there aren’t many houses or places of business nearby. Christian County is nothing like Lancaster County at all.”

“That’s true,” Timothy agreed, “but it’s peaceful and much quieter here, and there aren’t nearly so many cars or tourists.”

“I’ve gotten used to the tourists. In fact, if it weren’t for the tourists, my daed’s bulk food store wouldn’t do nearly as well as it does.”

“Guess you’re right about that, but I still think it’s nice to be here where the pace is slower.”

Hannah grimaced when Mindy, who was asleep in her lap, stirred restlessly as their buggy bounced over the numerous ruts in the road. She turned in her seat a bit to look at Timothy and frowned. “The pace may be slower here, but the roads in Christian County need some work, don’t you think?”

“I suppose, but there are some rough roads around Lancaster, too.”

Hannah knew her husband was trying to look on the positive side of things, but so far she didn’t like one thing about being here. In fact, Timothy’s bright outlook actually irritated her. Every time she complained, he had some way of twisting things around to make it all sound good.

“See that driveway over there?” Timothy pointed to the right. “It leads to the bed-and-breakfast I told you about. It’s run by a young English woman, Bonnie Taylor.” He gave Hannah a dimpled smile. “I met Bonnie when I came here for Titus and Suzanne’s wedding, and she seemed very nice. Samuel and Allen did some work on her house before she opened the B&B, and Esther’s been working for her part-time ever since. She helps Bonnie in the mornings before heading to Samuel’s to keep house and watch the kinner. Then she goes back to help at the B&B again in the evenings after Samuel gets home from work.”

Hannah grunted in response. She wasn’t interested in hearing about the B&B or the woman who owned it. She wished Timothy hadn’t gone to his brother’s wedding, because it wasn’t long after that he’d come up with the crazy notion to move here.

Maybe I should have gone with him to the wedding
, she thought.
Then I could have discouraged him from the very beginning
.

“So what did you think of the church service today?” he asked, moving their conversation in a different direction.

She sighed. “It was okay, I guess.”

“Did you hear what the bishop said in his message about remembering to count our blessings and learning to be content?”

“I…I don’t really remember.”

“Well, he said contentment helps to keep one’s heart free from worry. It also teaches us to live simply and think of others more than ourselves. I think his message was a good reminder for us, don’t you?”

Hannah stiffened. “What are you trying to say, Timothy? Do you think I’m supposed to be thankful and content that you forced me to leave the home I loved and come here to a place I already hate? How can you even accept that someone else will be living in our house in Pennsylvania?”