the STRUGGLE (8 page)

“No, uh…Esther went home, and we’re having meat loaf.”

Samuel’s eyebrows furrowed, and even Timothy shot Hannah a questioning look. “Why’d she go home? Was she feeling grank?” Samuel asked.

“No, she’s not sick. I just told her that since I was here she wouldn’t need to help with supper and could go home.”

“You sent Esther home?” Samuel’s eyebrows lifted high, and his voice raised nearly an octave.

Hannah looked at Timothy, hoping he would come to her rescue, but he just stared at her as though in disbelief.

“Well…uh, I didn’t send her home exactly. I just told her that I could fix supper and that her help wasn’t needed.”

“What gives you the right to be tellin’ Esther that?” A vein on the side of Samuel’s neck bulged just a bit.

“That ain’t all, Daadi,” Leon said, rushing into the room. “Aunt Hannah said she didn’t think Esther would be comin’ here in the mornings no more. Least not till the two of you get married.”

“Is that so?” Samuel’s sharp intake of breath and his pinched expression let Hannah know he was quite upset.

“I…I didn’t actually say Esther wouldn’t be coming over. I just said I’d need to talk to you about it, because I really don’t see a need for her to be here when I’m perfectly capable of taking care of your kinner, cleaning the house, and cooking the meals.” Hannah’s cheeks warmed. “And I mistakenly mentioned that you might marry Esther.”

“I do plan to marry her,” Samuel said. “But it’s not official yet, and I haven’t talked to her about a wedding date.” He leveled Hannah with a look that could have stopped a runaway horse. “I’d appreciate it if from now on you don’t tell my kinner anything they should be hearin’ directly from me.” Samuel turned and started for the door.

“Where are you going?” Timothy called to him.

“Over to the B&B to speak with Esther!” Samuel let the door slam behind him.

“We need to talk about this,” Timothy said, taking hold of Hannah’s arm and leading her toward the door.

“What about supper?” She motioned to the stove. “The meat loaf’s ready, and I really think we should eat.”

“The meal can wait awhile. Let’s go out on the porch where we can speak in private.”

Before Hannah could offer a word of protest, he grabbed her jacket from the wall peg, slung it across her shoulders, and ushered her out the door.

“Now what gives you the right to send Esther away when you know she’s been watching Samuel’s kinner?” Timothy asked, guiding her to one end of the porch. “Do I need to remind you that this is Samuel’s home, and he’s been kind enough to let us live here?”

“You don’t need to talk to me so harshly.” Hannah’s voice whined with the threat of tears.

“I’m sorry, but surely you could see how upset Samuel was. He loves Esther very much and wants her to care for his kinner when he’s not at home.” Timothy’s voice softened some but remained unyielding. “Things shouldn’t have to change just because we’re living here right now.”

Hannah stiffened and started to snivel. “Well, they’ve changed for me! But I guess you don’t care about that.”

“I do care, and I hope we can either build or find a place of our own really soon so we can feel settled here in Kentucky,” Timothy said. “And Hannah, please turn off the waterworks. There’s no reason for you to be whimpering about this. There’s no question that what you said to Esther was wrong—especially when those arrangements had been worked out between Samuel and Esther long before we moved here.”

“I didn’t suggest that Esther leave because I was trying to change anything. I just thought it wasn’t necessary for both of us to take care of the house and kinner, and I figured Samuel would appreciate me helping out.” Hannah folded her arms and glared at him, wiping tears of frustration away. “And I doubt that I’ll ever feel settled living here, because my home is in Pennsylvania, not Kentucky!”

“You’ve said that before, Hannah, and it’s gettin’ kind of old.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “Life is what we make it, and unless you’re willing to at least try to accept this change and make the best of it, you’ll never be happy. I’m tired of our constant bickering, and I’m worn-out from trying to keep the peace between us. You need to focus on something positive for a change.”

Hannah stared at the wooden floorboards on the porch; then she lifted her gaze to meet his. “I think I know something that might make me happy—or at least, it would give me something meaningful to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Esther and I took the little ones over to see Bonnie Taylor this morning, and while we were there, I was impressed with all the antiques Bonnie has.”

His forehead wrinkled. “I’m confused. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I was thinking maybe I could start my own business, buying and selling antiques. It would help our finances, and—”

He held up his hand. “You can stop right there, Hannah, because your idea won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“For one thing, Samuel’s barn is full of our furniture, so you wouldn’t even have a place to store any antiques. Second, most antiques can be quite expensive, and we don’t have any extra money to spend on something that might not sell. Third, I seriously doubt that antiques would sell very well around here.”

“What makes you say that?”

“There are no tourists here—at least not like we had in Lancaster County, and there aren’t nearly as many people living in this area.” Timothy slowly shook his head. “You need to find something else to keep yourself busy, because selling antiques is definitely out—at least for right now. It would be too big of a risk. Now let’s get inside and eat supper.”

Resentment welled in Hannah’s soul. She was getting tired of Timothy telling her what to do all the time, and it didn’t surprise her that he’d been against her idea right from the start. He didn’t even want to consider it. Was there anything they could agree on, or was this a warning of how things were going to be from now on?

Samuel fumed all the way to Bonnie’s.
Just who does Hannah think she is, sending Esther home when she should have been taking care of the kinner and sharing supper with us? Hannah has a lot of nerve coming into my house and trying to take things over!
Samuel wondered how his brother put up with a wife like that. Of course, Hannah, being the youngest child and only girl in her family, had always been a bit spoiled. Even back when she was a girl growing up in their community, he’d noticed it. And it didn’t help that she was under her mother’s thumb, which he knew was why she’d been opposed to the idea of moving to Kentucky in the first place.

I wonder what made Timothy decide to marry Hannah
, Samuel thought as he gripped the horse’s reins a bit tighter.
It must have been her pretty face and the fact that she could cook fairly well, because Timothy was sure blinded to the reality that Hannah’s tied to her mamm’s apron strings
.

Samuel drew in a couple of deep breaths, knowing he needed to calm down before he spoke to Esther. He sent up a quick prayer, asking God for wisdom.

By the time he pulled up to the hitching rail in Bonnie’s yard, he felt a bit more relaxed. He climbed down from the buggy, secured his horse, and sprinted across the lawn to the guesthouse, where he rapped on the door and called, “Esther, are you there?”

No response.

He knocked again, but when Esther didn’t answer, he figured she might be up at the main house with Bonnie.

Hurrying across the lawn, he took the steps two at a time and knocked on Bonnie’s door. Several seconds went by before Bonnie answered the door. “I came to see Esther. Is she here?” Samuel asked.

Bonnie nodded. “We were about to have supper.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to Esther for a few minutes, if you don’t mind.”

Bonnie smiled. “Come in. I’ll wait in the living room while you two visit.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

Bonnie turned toward the living room, and Samuel headed for the kitchen.

“Samuel, I’m surprised to see you here. I figured you’d be at home having supper with your family,” Esther said when Samuel stepped into the room.

He frowned. “I figured that’s where you’d be, too, but when Timothy and I got home, Hannah said you’d come here.”

Esther nodded. “I think my being there made her feel uncomfortable. I sensed a bit of tension between us all day.”

Samuel pulled out a chair and joined her at the table. “When I go back home, I plan to tell Hannah in no uncertain terms that I want you to keep watching the kinner, and that includes bein’ there for supper.”

“But Samuel, if it’s going to cause trouble with Hannah, maybe it might be best if—”

Samuel shook his head. “It won’t be best for the kinner, and it sure won’t be best for me.” He reached for Esther’s hand. “I know it won’t be easy for you to deal with Hannah, but I’m asking you to keep working for me and to try and get along with Hannah.” He smiled and gently squeezed her fingers. “I’d set a date to marry you right now so you could be with us all the time, but I think we’d better wait till Timothy and Hannah find a place of their own. We have to keep reminding ourselves that these arrangements are only temporary.”

Esther’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Oh Samuel, let’s pray it won’t be too long.”

Timothy stepped outside after the evening meal was finished, while Hannah cleaned up and occupied the children. It felt good to breathe in the fresh air, especially when things had gone downhill after arriving home. He didn’t blame Samuel for being upset with Hannah, and he hoped it didn’t put a further strain on their living arrangements until they had a place of their own.

Timothy thought about Hannah’s desire to sell antiques. He had to admit her eyes had been shining when she’d shared her thoughts with him about it. It was the first time since they’d arrived in Kentucky that Hannah had showed any kind of enthusiasm.

Was I wrong to discourage her?
he wondered.
Maybe something like that would help Hannah adjust to her new surroundings. Guess I was wrong for not listening more to what she had to say. I’ll think about it more once we’re able to get a place of our own. By then, I’ll have a better idea of what our expenses will be like
.

For now, though, he should go out to the barn to make sure everything was secured for the evening. He’d wait for his brother and hope he could smooth things over with him, because the last thing he needed was for Samuel to ask them to leave. If he did, where would they go? They sure couldn’t move in with Titus and Suzanne in their small place.

Now, don’t borrow any trouble
, he told himself.
Things will work out. They have to
.

C
HAPTER
11

L
eaves swirled around the yard, and the wind howled eerily under the eaves of the porch as Hannah stood waiting for Bonnie to pick her and Mindy up. She gazed at the gray-blue sky and the empty fields next to Samuel’s place and wished it was spring instead of fall. They were going into Hopkinsville today to do some shopping, so maybe that would lift her spirits. Hannah looked forward to the outing because it had rained every day last week and she was tired of being cooped up in the house with Esther and the children. She’d had to learn how to deal with Esther coming over every day to watch Samuel’s children, but it wasn’t easy. Esther did things a lot differently than Hannah, but she found if she kept busy writing letters to Mom and cleaning house, the days were bearable. It wasn’t that Esther didn’t keep the house clean—she just wasn’t as structured and organized as Hannah had always been. Many times Esther had tried to engage Hannah in conversation, but since they really didn’t have much in common, there wasn’t a lot to talk about. They’d worked out an agreement to take turns fixing supper, so at least that gave Hannah a chance to do some cooking, which she enjoyed.

Hannah watched as Esther hung some clothes on the line, using the pulley that ran from the porch to the barn. Mindy must have seen her, too, because she left Hannah’s side, darted across the porch, and tugged on Esther’s skirt. Esther stopped what she was doing, bent down, picked Mindy up, and swung her around. Hannah cringed as Mindy squealed with delight. It really bothered Hannah to see how Mindy had warmed up to Esther. It seemed like she was always hanging on Esther, wanting to crawl up into her lap to listen to a story, or just sitting beside Esther at the table. This was one more reason Hannah hoped she and Timothy could find a place of their own soon, where she and Mindy could spend more quality time together without Esther’s influence. Everyone seemed to love Esther.