The Substitute (25 page)

“Later. I need food.”

She got on her hands and knees to search for her clothes and he couldn’t drag his gaze away from her bare ass.

She looked over her shoulder at him. “You didn’t get your fill last night?”

“I didn’t get to see much of your backside—although I’m not complaining about the views I was blessed to see—so you can’t fault me for admiring it now. You have a very gorgeous ass.”

She smirked her amusement. “Yeah? Well, you might get to see plenty of it if I don’t find my underwear.”

“I thought you tossed it toward the bottom of the blanket.”

“Yeah, well, we got a little creative last night. Who knows where everything ended up.”

“So we just get up and look.”

“Great in theory,” she said, motioning her head toward the water. “I’m sure those fishermen are going to appreciate the view.”

“What?” Josh’s head turned to see a fishing boat coasting into view. He tackled Megan flat onto the pallet and covered her with the blanket.

She laughed, pulling him down on top of her. “I think it’s too late to save my virtue.”

“Maybe so, but you gave your virtue to me and I don’t plan on sharing it.”

“Oooh…” She grinned, pulling his mouth to hers. “I like it when you get all possessive.”

“Then you should love the rest of your day, because I plan to spend it being that obsessive boyfriend every girl either loves or hates.”

“And which one will I be?” she asked. “The one who loves it or hates it?”

His hand cradled her face. “I’ll let you tell me at the end of the day.”

She swatted him and he pulled her to him for a slow, hypnotic kiss that held the false promise of being the first of a thousand more. Her hands dug into his hair, keeping him firmly in place.

He lifted his face and gave her a genuine smile. “I promised you breakfast and the opportunity to not be gawked at by old men fishing on the lake. I’m neglecting my duties.”

“You haven’t heard any complaints from me.”

He looked out onto the lake. They were low enough to the ground that they’d probably gone unnoticed by the fishermen. He glanced around the pallet and surrounding grass. “So any good leads on our clothes?”

“Just what you see before you.”

He saw her dress, his jeans and nothing else. “Where are my T-shirt and underwear?”

“Forget your T-shirt,” she grumbled good-naturedly. “That bra and panties set cost me eighty-seven dollars.”

“How can you remember how much they cost so exactly?”

She cringed and turned her backside to him again. “I just bought them yesterday.”

“You did?” he asked, more hopeful than he’d intended.

She turned her face away from him. “Yes, and since I bought them hoping you might see them, you’re partially responsible for their return.”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

“You just want to see me in them again.”

“I could deny it, but that would be a lie.” He pulled his jeans on and zipped them up, taking extra care since he was going commando. “And you’d never believe it anyway.” He moved to the edge of the trees and spotted her bra several feet away. He held it up. “How’d this get over here?”

“Those damned raccoons,” she grumbled.

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I told you they were the ones you had to worry about.”

He dropped it by her on the sleeping bag and spotted his T-shirt on the other side of the clearing. After shaking it off, he pulled it over his head and decided not to put any effort into finding his underwear. He definitely didn’t want to wear them again if monster raccoons had been chewing on them through the night.

Megan had fastened her bra and raised her arms to pull her dress over her head when Josh froze.

“Uh, Megan…how frightened are you of bugs?”

“You mean like ants and mosquitos?”

“No…more like ticks.”

“What?” she screeched, jumping to her feet and dancing in place. “Get it off! Get it off!”

He ran over to her and pulled her into his arms to settle her down. “So you’re afraid of your mother and blood-sucking parasites. I can see a common thread.”

“It’s not funny, Josh!” she shouted, trying to pull free. “Get it off!”

“Calm down. It’s just a seed tick. I’ll pull it out.”

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Where is it?”

“Close to your armpit.”

She released a shriek of panic, her feet running in place, and he had to laugh despite her obvious terror.

“Stop laughing at me!”

He pulled her dress down to her waist. “I’m not laughing
at
you. I’m laughing
with
you.”

She swung her face around to glare at him. “
I’m not laughing, Josh!”

“I know. I’m sorry. You’re just so cute.”

“There’s nothing cute about ticks!”

“Okay, hold still so I can get it off.” He lifted her arm over her head and examined her skin, surprised it was gone. “I don’t see it.”

“
What do you mean you don’t see it?”

“It’s gone.”

She looked up at him, her gaze fierce. “Ticks just don’t
leave,
Josh. They wait until they’re engorged and drop off. Did it look engorged?”

God help him, he couldn’t laugh or she would kill him. “I admit to seeing more than my fair share of engorged objects in the last ten hours or so, but that tick wasn’t one of them.”

“Then where is it?” she shrieked, panicked again.

“Relax, Megan. It’s just a tiny tick.”

“
Just
a tiny tick
?
It’s a creature that embeds its head deep inside—” She glared up at him again when he began to snicker. “If you’re going to continue to act like a twelve-year-old boy, I’m going to leave you out here with the raccoons.”

Though he managed not to release the peals of laughter bubbling up inside him, he couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

Without responding, she pulled her dress down to the ground and tried to look over her shoulder. “I can’t see back there.”

He grabbed her shoulders and bent at the knees so his face was level with hers. “I’ll look and make sure you don’t have any ticks, okay? I promise.”

She dragged in a breath and let it out. “Okay.”

He gave her a soft kiss and released her shoulders, then moved behind her to examine her back. Since she was now naked except for her bra and the fishermen were gone, he took his time, enjoying the view more than he’d admit to Megan right now. After looking over the backs of her legs, he moved to her sides and front, then declared her tick-free. “Nothing. You’re good.”

“Then where did it go?”

“I don’t know.” He picked up her dress off the ground. “I suspect it wasn’t attached yet and fell off when you were putting your dress on.” He moved several feet away from her and shook it out before handing it back to her.

She started to step into it and had it up to her hips, when she began to scream, jerking the dress off. The skirt got tangled around her legs and he lunged for her as she started to trip, keeping her from falling to the ground.

“It’s crawling inside my dress!” She kicked the skirt away from her, sucking in deep breaths.

“Okay, I’ll get it out.” He looked into her eyes. “It’s okay.”

She nodded, fighting to gain control. Josh moved toward the offending dress, now several feet away on the ground, when he realized the fishermen had returned and both men were standing in the small boat, staring up at them with open mouths. They looked so ancient that Josh worried they were about to lose their balance and fall out.

Josh moved in front of Megan, blocking her from their view. He held up his hands as he addressed the men. “Everything is fine here. It’s just a tick.”

“That must have been some tick,” one of the men muttered, his voice carrying over the water.

Megan lunged around Josh, but he held her in place—blocking her body with his and out of the fishermen’s view—as she shouted, “Ticks are no laughing matter!” She pointed her finger at the men to emphasize her point. “They can
kill
you!”

Josh turned around, grabbing her arms while making sure he was still blocking as much of their view as possible. “Okay, calm down, Tick Lady of Doom. Cut those guys a break. You just gave them the biggest thrill they’ve probably had in the last twenty years.”

She shrieked again when she realized she was naked except for her bra and dropped to the ground to grope for the blanket.

He picked up her dress again, shook it out, and checked it twice before handing it to her.

“I’m not wearing that!”

“So you’re Lady Godiva now? Maybe you want to follow in Gram’s footsteps.” He gave an involuntary shudder. “I’m not sure they’ll serve you pancakes at IHOP if you’re not wearing clothes.”

“We’re not going to IHOP!”

“Then we’ll go somewhere else, because I promised you breakfast, Megan, and damn it
I’m taking you to breakfast!
”

He heard a gasp behind him. When he turned to look, he saw two more boats in the cove, everyone onboard mesmerized by the Megan and Josh show.

He squatted next to her. “Come on, Megs. We have an audience and Knickers isn’t even here to appreciate it.” When she didn’t answer, he pressed on, “I made sure there weren’t any ticks. I checked twice. I promise.”

She took another deep breath and released it, her eyes narrowing at him as she jabbed her finger into his chest. “If I even find the hint of a
tick turd
on this dress, I’m going to make you suffer.”

“I accept the sentencing…er, I mean the consequences.”

Her mouth pursed in disapproval, but she let him slip the dress over her head. When she stood, he zipped her up and she marched over to the edge of the bluff, looming twenty feet over the water. “You can all go home now,
you freaking perverts!
”

She was close enough to the edge to make him nervous. He moved behind her, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her back. “You told them, so why don’t we go now?”

She marched over to the blanket and picked up her shoes and the cooler, then headed down the path without comment. Scooping up the bedding, Josh found Megan’s panties under the pallet. He picked them up and shoved them into his pants pocket before readjusting the load in his arms and hurrying after Megan.

Her stance proclaimed she was a woman on a mission, and it looked like a major part of the plan involved leaving him behind. But he caught up to her as she opened the back hatch of the car and set the cooler inside. Josh shoved the wadded bedding into the back and quickly closed the lid so he could corner Megan against the car before she opened the driver’s door.

“I know you’re pissed right now, but stop a moment to take a deep breath before we leave.”

She glared up at him.

“I’m sorry I laughed at you when you were clearly terrified.”

“I was not terrified!”

“Says the woman who would rather face an audience of old men in the nude than put on a dress that might contain a seed tick.”

A grin tugged at the corners of her lips.

“I hereby promise to do my utmost never to let another tick touch your gorgeous body for the rest of the time I know you.”

Her eyes danced with mischief. “That shouldn’t be too difficult, since we have to break up tonight.”

How could she say it so casually? The mere thought ripped his heart out. But he was determined to make this the best day of his life, Knickers’ schedule be damned. “Unless the rehearsal dinner is outside.” He lifted his eyebrows to emphasize the danger.

She laughed. “You can put away your tick-vanquishing sword. It’s in a restaurant.”

He rested his hands on either side of her head and leaned in to kiss her. Her hands lifted to his cheeks as her lips met his. There were tears in her eyes when he pulled away, but she blinked them back and smiled.

“You owe me breakfast. Are you coming?”

He opened the car door and held it open for her. “I’ll follow you anywhere.” When she gave him a questioning glance, he hastily added, “Hey, I love breakfast.”

The casual comment came easily enough, but if it fooled her, it didn’t fool him.

Megan studied Josh out of the corner of her eye, trying to determine if their inevitable breakup tonight bothered him as much as it did her. He’d dropped his guard often enough for her to know he didn’t want to do this either, but there really was no other way out. She couldn’t tell her mother the truth, and if they didn’t pick option one or two, that only left three—they went through with the wedding.

She turned over the engine and picked up her phone from the console where she’d left it, not surprised to see all the missed calls and texts. She and Josh had taken off without telling anyone where they were going. Everyone was freaked out. Nicole Vandemeer was inevitably more upset than the rest, but not for the same reason as everyone else.

She scrolled the list—calls from her mom, her dad, multiple calls and texts from Libby, one from Blair this morning, and one that came in at two a.m., which would have been midnight Pacific time.

Jay.

Her chest tightened. She hadn’t talked to him since telling him the wedding was off and walking out of his apartment six weeks ago. Why was he trying to get in touch with her now?

She glanced up at Josh, whose questioning gaze told her he’d noticed her reaction. “Is everything okay?”

Shaking her head, she forced a smile. “Yeah. I’m just overwhelmed by the number of calls and texts I missed. Did Noah try to reach you?”

He grimaced. “My phone went in the pool with me last night. It’s on your bathroom counter awaiting its funeral.”

“So we need to get you a new phone today.”

“Yeah.” He was still watching her. “Did your mother send you a threatening text?” he asked, sounding worried.

“Text?” she snorted, scrolling through them. “Knickers does
not
text.”

“Then what’s got you so anxious?”

“I should have told someone where we were going. Libby and Blair are freaked out.”

“Take five minutes to call them and let them know you’re fine. Breakfast can wait.”