The Substitute (33 page)

“Noah’s welcome to stay here tonight, or he can stay with you if you’d like,” Knickers said.

Noah stood next to the sofa, watching the scene unfold. Josh cast a glance toward his brother, who gave him a short shake of his head. They hadn’t found the original plans, so Noah probably wanted to search the basement. Finding the documents would spell game over for PMV Engineering; it would be proof enough to convince their investor to hang tight. “That’s okay. I’m going to be anxious and nervous. Noah won’t get any sleep if he stays with me.”

Gram had been standing to the side watching. “I’ll go with him.”

Knickers rolled her eyes. “Mother, you can’t stay with Josh at the hotel.”

“He promised to help me with my research on nudist colonies in Belize. He hasn’t done it yet.”

Josh couldn’t help but grin.

“I bet he’d feel less anxious about the wedding if I kept him company. We could have a yoga session. It does wonders for stress.”

Josh was pretty sure he’d be anxious about something else.

“What do you have to feel nervous about, Josh?” Kevin asked with a sneer, leaning his shoulder against the doorjamb to the kitchen and crossing his arms over his chest. “Having second thoughts about marrying my sister?”

Josh’s anger surged, but he tried to control it. This was Megan’s brother, after all; he needed to play nice for as long as possible. “When you get married, Kevin, we’ll talk. Then maybe you’ll have an idea.”

He pulled Megan upstairs to her room so she could get ready and he could pack. She’d settled down some, but he could tell she was still fluttering with nervous energy. “We need to figure out how you’re going to break up with me.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he tugged her to him. “Maybe we can put it off.”

She pulled free. “How can we put it off? The wedding is
tomorrow
. We have to break up, Josh.”

He hesitated, worried about pushing her, especially since she was already distraught. “What if we don’t?”

She froze, her face a mask. “What does that mean?”

He pulled her to the bed and sat down beside her, holding her hand. “Look, the wedding is paid for whether we get married or not, right?”

She shook her head in confusion. “Well…yeah, but…”

“Wait,” he said, a little more desperately than he would have liked. “Just hear me out, okay?”

“Okay.” She looked uncertain.

“What if we don’t break up tonight?” His brain scrambled to come up with a plan. He knew he needed one, but he had yet to think of anything that might actually work. “What if I break up with you before the wedding?”

“You’re going to ditch me at the altar?” she asked in dismay. “Do you have any idea how humiliating that would be?”

He hadn’t thought about it that way. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second. “Okay, what if we
do
go through with the wedding? It’s already paid for. Everyone might as well get their chicken dinners.”

“But then we’ll be married!”

“No,” Josh said, breathless. “Only if the marriage license gets sent to the courthouse. I’ll take it from the minister and make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“But everyone will think we’re married.” She shook her head again. “Scratch that. They’ll think I’m married to Jay.”

“Then tell them you got a divorce. Or an annulment. Or,” he gushed out, trying to figure out a solution, a way to buy himself more time for both of his dilemmas. “You can tell everyone the wedding wasn’t legal because we had a fight and I tore up the marriage license instead of sending it in.”

“Josh.” She stood and turned to face him. “This is
crazy
.”

He jumped to his feet in front of her. “I know.”

“I don’t understand why we don’t just break up tonight…”

He pulled her into his arms. “Do you really want to end this in a few hours?”

“That’s beside the point.”

He cradled her face with both hands and she covered his with her own. “No. It’s not. It
is
the point. Do you want to break up? Yes or no?”

She released a heavy breath and looked down. “No.”

He kissed her hard, then pulled back, surprised at his own building excitement. “I don’t want to either. So let’s not.”

She shook her head again. “So you’re suggesting that we go through with the wedding?”

“Meggie, I told you that I left this trip to fate. Maybe this is our fate. Maybe we’re supposed to do this.”

“But…” He could tell she wasn’t sold yet, but he’d planted the seed and she hadn’t outright dismissed the idea. In fact, she’d been more receptive than he’d expected.

“Don’t decide yet. Just think about it.”

“But I don’t have
time
to think about it.”

“You do. You have at least a couple of hours or so.” He searched her eyes. “I know it doesn’t sound like long, but just go with your gut, okay? You’ll know whether you want to go through with it or not.”

“And if I decide I want you to break up with me tonight?”

He searched her face. “Then we’ll set the wheels in motion. You only have to say the word.”

***

Despite his dislike for Blair, Josh was happy she’d arrived for the rehearsal, if only because it so clearly pleased Megan. The tension in her shoulders eased when her friend showed up, but Blair let them both know she was on guard.

“This in no way means I condone what you’re doing,” Blair said under her breath, just out of hearing distance of Knickers. The group was waiting in the parking lot for some last-minute stragglers, so everyone could enter the grounds together.

Megan pulled her to one side of the lot, Libby and Josh following close behind.

“So basically you’re here to spy on me,” Megan teased.

A wicked gleam filled Blair’s eyes. “Pretty much.”

“I can live with that.”

“You’re always so cynical, Blair,” Libby said. “It’s almost like you don’t believe in marriage.” She looked around at the people gathered for the rehearsal, which included a few of Megan’s cousins and aunts and uncles. “Where is Neil, anyway?”

The bridge of Blair’s nose scrunched with disapproval. “Neil is still at work. He’ll meet us later. Where’s your new boyfriend, Libs?” she asked, her tone barbed. “Mitch, is it?”

Libby shot her a tolerant smile. “Mitch is meeting us at the restaurant too.”

The gardens had rented out the chapel for another wedding that evening, so they were directed to the small lawn by the main entrance
. Knickers told everyone what time they needed to show up for the wedding and where, although
Josh was confused by some of the instructions. He could see the chapel on the other side of the pond and he overheard something about the rooms underneath, but he was too focused on Megan to give it much thought. She was jittery and wide-eyed as they all took their places for the run-through, and he knew exactly what was getting to her.
This felt like a farce. A fake rehearsal on top of a fake wedding, made worse by the fact they had very real feelings for each other…and no idea if their relationship was about to meet its sell-by date. Hell, it was getting to him too, but s
he was a wild card at the moment, her nerves apparent enough to gain her mother’s attention.

“Megan?” she asked as Megan took her place beside her father. Blair and Libby were getting ready to practice their walk down the aisle. “Care to join us here at the rehearsal? You’re obviously a million miles away.”

Megan’s mouth opened as if to say something, then she took a deep breath and dropped her father’s arm. She took several steps into the center of the lawn, clasping her hands in front of her, her face paler than usual. “Actually, there’s something I have to tell you.” She lifted her gaze to Josh, who stood at the end of the imaginary aisle with Noah and Kevin, next to the sidewalk that led to the gardens.

Josh’s eyes widened, and he shook his head slowly.

She glanced down at her hands. “I…this…”

Josh’s heart seized in his chest. How could he stop her?
Should
he stop her? This wasn’t some game they were playing, after all. He was screwing with her life. But truth be told, his business issues aside, he wasn’t ready to lose this woman. He was certain he’d never find anyone like her again. He didn’t even want to try.

Libby rushed toward Megan and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I think Megan’s got some pre-wedding jitters. We all know how this marching down the aisle thing works. How about we just skip it and go to dinner?”

“No,” Kevin said, stepping away from Josh and Noah. “I don’t think that’s it at all.” He moved closer to her. “Megan, you don’t have to marry this dipshit. Come on, let’s go home.”

Without replying to her brother—or even looking at him—Megan glanced up at Josh, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

Josh held his breath, clenching his fists at his sides as he silently pleaded with her.

Relinquishing her position at the head of the group, Knickers marched to the center of the lawn, her imperiousness slightly undermined when her spiky heels sunk into the wet sod. She swung her legs in an exaggerated movement to break them loose of the earth. “Stop the wedding? Have you lost your
mind
, Kevin? I always expect
you
to be the sensible one.”

“The sensible one?” Josh said, louder than he meant. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Bart, who now stood several feet behind Megan, had a panicked look on his face. Things were spiraling out of control pretty quickly, and Josh could easily guess who would bear the brunt of it later.

Finally reaching Megan, Kevin grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, his face red. “Mom, we’ve all sat back and let you ramrod this family for long enough. Enough.”

“Ramrod this family?” she shrieked.

Kevin flung his arm toward Josh. “Megan’s not marrying this guy.”

“Of course she’s marrying him!” Nicole shouted, her face twisted with a mixture of surprise and anger. She wobbled as her heel sunk deeper, pitching her to the side.

Josh took a moment to survey the rest of the scene: Gram, who’d been seated in a folding chair at the side of the group, was watching it all, her eyes glittering with excitement. Megan’s cousins stood toward the back of the lawn, looking all at once uncomfortable and enthralled. Blair seemed like she was about to rush over and drag Megan away, but Libby was blocking her path. The minister stood behind, wisely keeping his mouth shut.

Shaking Josh out of his stupor, Noah leaned into his ear and whispered, “You have to put a stop to this.
Now
.”

“I know.” But did he? Part of him wanted to let it play out, to let Megan make her choice without any intervention.

“Well, Megan?” her mother demanded, hands on her hips as she tottered back and forth like a baby giraffe. “Are you going to tell your brother to go back to the groom’s line so we can finish this rehearsal and go to dinner?” She shook her head, looking like she was about to implode. “If Josh will even let Kevin stand up with him.” She pointed her French-tip-manicured finger at him. “Your behavior is
deplorable
.”

Megan looked from her mother to her brother, then finally rested her gaze on Josh, tears streaming down her face as her chin quivered.

His heart twisted with a pain that sucked in his breath. He couldn’t do this to her. He couldn’t hurt her. Not her.

“Megan.” He took a step forward as he said it; his voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “You are singularly the best thing that has ever come into my life.”

She dropped Kevin’s hand and studied Josh as a fresh trail of tears tumbled down her cheeks. Kevin’s fists balled at his sides, but Josh didn’t let that stop him. He continued to take slow steps toward Megan, moving around Knickers. “You fell into my life and turned it upside down. You’ve made me question everyone and everything, but when I sort through it all, the only thing that makes sense is you.” He stopped in front of her, her eyes looking up at him in confusion and sorrow.

He cupped her cheeks, his thumbs wiping her tears. “Don’t cry, Meggie. We’ll do whatever you want. You just say the word. If you want to end this right now, we can. I won’t fight you. But if you want to keep going…” He pushed past the lump in his throat, ignoring the fact they had an audience. “Can I tell you how I feel before you make your decision?”

She nodded, fresh tears breaking free, the sight hurting his heart even more.

“I can’t imagine walking away from this mess without you. I don’t know how this happened. I only know it did. You know how I said I left it all up to fate?”

She nodded, sucking in her lower lip to stop her chin from quivering.

He smiled at her and picked up her hand, cradling it between his own. “We’re supposed to be together.
I know it
. I don’t want to go back to Seattle without you. Don’t give up on us, okay? Don’t give up on me.”

She watched him, indecision wavering in her eyes.

He pressed his forehead to hers, lowering his voice to a whisper. “It’s up to you, Meggie. Either I walk away, or we keep going. I just want you to be happy. What will make you happy?”

A soft smile lifted her mouth. “You make me happy, Josh. I’ve never been happier than I am with you.”

Relief flooded through him, and he released the breath he’d been holding. “So what do you want to do about it? Do you want me to take you away from this mess?”

She looked around at her family, then at the crowd of botanical gardens visitors who now lined the sidewalk by their practice lawn. They were watching with open mouths, as if they’d happened upon a particularly trashy episode of reality television. Finally she returned her gaze to him, her orneriness returning. “And walk away from a fifty-grand party? Not on your life.”

He kissed her, his joy overshadowing the fear that lurked in the shadows of his heart. He still had to come clean, but not yet. Not now. He might lose her when he did, and he wasn’t ready to take that risk.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him and kissing him back.

The crowd of onlookers—strangers and friends and family alike—broke into applause and a round of “Woots,” undoubtedly led by Libby.