The Summer House (7 page)

Two hours later, Mandy found herself as charmed as Eva. They’d toured the first level of the display before moving upstairs to the second level. Over snacks in the Café Scuba, Rick kept them both laughing with stories about his various scuba-diving adventures.

“You swim under the water?” Eva asked, obviously impressed by such an impossible feat.

“With help,” he said. “Can you swim?”

Eva sipped on her covered cup of milk and shrugged. “Daisy takes us to the pool, but I don’t swim. I have water wings,” she added. “Sometimes I kick my feet.”

Mandy bit her tongue. She wanted to say something about lessons and Eva learning, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to get the girl’s hopes up.

Around them other families ate and talked together. She caught the occasional stare aimed their way. One little boy of four or five had loudly asked what was wrong with Eva. Before Mandy could do anything, Rick had stepped between Eva and the family, pointing out a display of brightly colored fish.

Down syndrome children were often the object of stares. Mandy understood why, but that didn’t make her like it. Still, far from being upset or uncomfortable, Rick had simply gone with the flow. She appre
ciated that. She turned her attention back to the conversation at hand.

“Daddies have the babies?” Eva asked, sounding doubtful.

Rick read from the brochure he’d picked up by one of the displays. “Apparently that’s common with all sea horses. Here at the aquarium there have been successful transfers of eggs—”

He broke off and saw Eva’s blank expression. He laughed and touched the tip of her nose. “Sorry. Yes. Daddies have the babies.” He scanned the paper. “They carry the eggs on the underside of their tails.” He looked at Mandy and winked. “Sounds a bit fishy to me.”

She chuckled. “I don’t know. I think most women like the idea of the male of the species being more involved with the birth process.” She turned to Eva. “Mommies like daddies to help.”

Eva nodded. “Daisy tells Frank to get off his butt sometimes. He kisses her when he thinks we’re not looking.”

“Good for him,” Rick said. “Ready for the sea lions and seals again?” he asked.

“Yes, yes!”

Eva jumped to her feet. Her milk went flying. Rick caught the container easily and dumped it into a trash can without saying a word.

Mandy followed them. They’d already spent time watching the aquatic mammals in their exhibit, but Eva wanted to see them again. Rick didn’t seem to mind the repeat viewing. He even held Eva high in his arms to give her a bird’s-eye view.

This was how it would be if she found someone, Mandy thought, feeling both happy and unsettled.
This was what she wanted for Eva and for herself. A family. But if that wasn’t possible…

She didn’t have an answer for that. Not yet. She loved Eva, but the responsibility terrified her. What if she didn’t do it right? What if she messed up Eva forever? Having someone else around would give her support, a sounding board and another opinion of how things were going. Plus Eva deserved all the love she could get.

As in many other aspects of life, there weren’t any easy answers.

They finished their outing with a stop at the gift shop. Rick insisted on buying them each a stuffed animal. He also bought Eva a brightly colored book about the various creatures at the aquarium, then adopted a weedy sea dragon in her name.

“Why are you being so nice?” she asked as they walked back to the car.

“I’m not. I’m having a good time. Aren’t you?”

She nodded.

Eva stumbled over a crack in the pavement. Mandy reached for her, but Rick got there first. He caught the child up in his arms and carried her toward the car.

“No skinned knees today,” he said lightly as they went. “I remember them and boy do they hurt bad.”

“You could kiss it, make it better.”

“Yes, I could. But maybe it would be nice if you didn’t get a skinned knee at all.”

“Okay,” Eva said. She glanced over his shoulder and beamed at Mandy. “I had fun today.”

“Me, too.”

It had been a revelation. All week she’d been fighting against her physical attraction to Rick. The more
time they spent together, the more she found to like about him. But something else had happened today. Something far more dangerous than simply sexual attraction.

Today she’d seen a side of him that she didn’t know existed. He’d been patient, kind and completely accepting. What made the combination even more devastating was that she knew he’d done it without conscious thought. He’d simply been himself. In his mind, they’d taken Eva out for the day, so the best of all possible scenarios was that everyone have a good time. It had been as simple as that.

Only it wasn’t simple for her. Not when her insides felt exposed and raw. He could seduce her body with just a look, but it took a lot more to seduce her heart. Somehow he’d made both happen today, which meant she was in more trouble than she’d first thought.

T
he beachfront restaurant had a small dance floor that extended out over the sand. A three-piece combo offered quiet accompaniment to the dinner conversation, while a few brave couples took a turn around the floor.

Mandy swirled the wine in her glass, watching the ruby-colored liquid catch and release light. She and Rick had returned Eva to Daisy, then they’d driven to the hotel and checked in. The separate bedrooms he’d promised turned out to be part of the same suite, but she hadn’t protested. In her current state—with her mind confused and tipping and unable to grasp even the most basic of concepts—protesting about rooms was completely beyond her.

She didn’t know what to do—about Rick, about Eva, about her life. Three weeks ago everything had been so clear. She had plans for the future and definite
ideas about the past. Now all that had changed, leaving her out of sorts.

“What are you thinking about?” Rick asked.

She shrugged rather than answer. She couldn’t tell him
everything
that was on her mind. At least not the part about him. As to the rest of it…

“Eva mostly. Today was great.”

“I thought so.”

She leaned toward him, taking in the dark hair, the deep blue eyes, the easy smile. “You were wonderful with her.” She held up a hand before he could speak. “I know you weren’t trying especially hard or doing anything out of the ordinary. That’s what makes it so special.”

He frowned. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, but thanks, anyway.”

“You’re welcome.” She sighed. “Eva had a good time, too, which is what I wanted. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy and comfortable. Usually she takes time to warm up to strangers, but not today.”

“Then why are you sad?”

“I’m not sad, exactly. More wistful.”

“That’s a subtlety you’ll have to explain.”

She gave him a quick smile. “Fair enough. I’ve been thinking about Eva and whether or not I have what it takes to adopt her. I work with children like her all the time, but that’s very different from being responsible for them. I’ve never had a child. What if I do everything wrong? What if I make her life worse?”

He reached across their small table and touched her hand. “Sometimes you have to lead with your heart.”

“You think?”

“I’m sure of it. What every child needs is to be
loved unconditionally. To know his or her world is safe. To have the freedom to grow and learn and be. Everything else is gravy.”

Mandy stared at him in surprise. “For someone who talks about people in terms of experiments and elements, that’s pretty insightful.”

“I’m a deep kind of guy.” He squeezed her fingers, then released her hand. “Seriously, I’ve learned a thing or two in the past few years, and one of them is that once the heart is involved, there are plenty of things that can’t be explained. Every now and then, we all have to take it on faith. That includes loving and being loved.”

He smiled. “Eva’s a special little girl. I can see why you want to adopt her. She cries out for a family of her own, which is what you always wanted. You couldn’t give it to yourself, but you
can
give it to her. Does rewriting the past make the situation more appealing to you? Probably. Does that matter? I doubt it.”

Mandy stared at him openmouthed. She couldn’t believe it. In five seconds, with a few simple sentences, Rick had just explained her relationship with Eva and clarified her—until now—undefined feelings of longings.

She
had
always longed for a family of her own. Her father loved her very much, but he was usually running off to make a movie somewhere. She’d grown up mostly alone. When it had become clear that her father wasn’t going to remarry and provide her with the home and family she’d always wanted, she made friends with girls who had families in place, then got involved with them.

Now, all these years later, was she really trying to
make up for that by giving Eva a family? It made sense. And as Rick had said—it didn’t much matter. As long as she was willing to make the commitment to take on this child.

“Ten points for your team,” she said slowly. “Like I said. Insightful.”

“I’ve come to know you in the past couple of weeks,” he told her. “Which is funny, because I would have said I knew you before.” He shook his head. “I didn’t at all. I see that now. I saw what I wanted to see. Now I can see the real you.”

“There’s a scary thought.” She sipped her wine. “I’ll agree with you. I didn’t know you all that well before, either. Actually I didn’t get men at all. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t looking for a flesh-and-blood male to share my life. Instead I wanted some handsome prince from a fairy story to rescue me from my life and sweep me away. I wanted to be the princess—worshiped rather than loved.”

“Your own personal pedestal?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.

“Something like that. I even found a few guys interested in the same fantasy.”

“What happened?”

“Life on a pedestal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When a man treats a woman like a princess, there isn’t much room left for real life. There certainly isn’t any room for a child like Eva. I found out I was much happier on solid ground.”

“Sounds like a good lesson. Similar to what I learned about wanting a real flesh-and-blood woman and not some perfect robot.”

“
Perfect.
There’s that word again. Why is it so hard to give up?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. Because it’s not real? Maybe we all chase illusions. Maybe they’re safer.”

Mandy didn’t know how to respond to that. Before she could figure out an answer, Rick rose and held out his hand.

“Dance with me?”

They were both still casually dressed from their day at the aquarium. Their dinner would be arriving any second and the dance floor was small and exposed. Still Mandy stood and placed her hand on his, allowing him to lead her to the edge of the restaurant. When he turned toward her, she slipped easily into his arms.

The sun had set an hour or so before, and the moon rose behind them. She could see the first fingers of moonlight drifting across the ocean. Then Rick pulled her close and it was so much easier to close her eyes and let the world drift away.

They swayed together to the gentle rhythm of the music. Nothing else mattered but being close. His heat surrounded her, as did his scent. Her skin began to tingle as her heart rate increased. Desire swept through her. Over the past couple of weeks, she’d managed to keep her attraction to him at bay, but it suddenly burst free, threatening to overwhelm her.

She became conscious of their skin touching—bare legs brushing as they swayed together, his fingers laced with hers. Every movement, every breath became an erotic counterpoint to their slow dancing. Her breasts swelled. Between her legs, wanting grew.

What was wrong with her? Why was she reacting like this? Why now? The urge to run was strong, but the need to stay in his embrace was stronger still.

She was so caught up in trying to stay in control
she barely noticed when they stopped moving. Rick cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes.

“I know we’re not supposed to do much more than find closure. I agree that your plan is sensible. The hell of it is, I want you more than I want my next breath. Touching you like this…being with you. I’m on fire, Mandy. I figured I’d better just tell you, because I don’t think I can stand sharing that suite with you tonight. Not without coming on to you, which I know you don’t want. I guess my point is we need to drive back to Santa Barbara after dinner.”

His words nearly blew her away. She saw desire tightening the features of his face. Tension hardened every part of his body and she didn’t doubt that if she swayed a little closer, she would find physical proof of his arousal.

Yes, she’d come up with the rules and they were really sensible. Only a fool would risk taking things to the next level, just when they were—in theory—trying to finish with each other.

Wasn’t sensible highly overrated?

She leaned close and brushed his mouth with hers.

“I’m not really hungry,” she said. “Are you?”

He didn’t speak. Instead he stared at her as if unable to believe what she was saying.

“So maybe we should just go upstairs,” she continued.

“And pack?”

“No. And stay.”

His pupils dilated. “Mandy, are you sure?”

“Not really, but I know that I want you. As you seem to want me…” She cleared her throat. “I could go the ‘we’re both sensible adults route’ but the truth
is this is crazy. I’ll admit it. I’m guessing you will, too. Let’s be crazy together.”

He grabbed her hand in a death grip and pulled her toward the table just as the waiter appeared with their entrées.

“Something’s come up,” Rick said, then grinned at his own pun. “Charge dinner to the room.” He gave the waiter their room number, then tugged her toward the exit, calling back, “Don’t forget to tip yourself.”

Then they were in the elevator. Even before the doors closed, Rick pulled her close and began kissing her. She felt the pressure of his mouth on hers, the heat of him. He licked her bottom lip, then when she opened to admit him, he plunged inside.

He tasted of wine and desire. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed against him, desperate to be as close as possible. Her hips arched forward, bringing her belly in contact with his hard arousal. At the first second of contact, her knees went weak. She dropped a hand to his rear and, before she could stop herself, she drew him even closer and ground herself against him.

His breath caught, then he broke the kiss and swore softly.

“I’m about five seconds from losing control,” he confessed. “How do you do that to me?”

“I’m not doing anything.”

He moved both his hands to her rear and pulled her tight. Then he rotated his hips, grinding himself against her.

“You do everything,” he said with a groan.

She was having a little trouble in the breathing department herself. Plus she needed him to touch her.
This “clothes on” stuff wasn’t working at all. Without thinking, she reached for his shirt, only to have the elevator doors open.

Mandy nearly fainted. For the length of their journey to the sixth floor, she’d completely forgotten where she was. That had never happened to her before.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door to their suite. She was relieved to see that the corridors were deserted. No one had witnessed her wanton behavior.

It wasn’t that she regretted her feelings, or her passion, but some things were better done in private.

With some muttering and cursing, he pulled the card key out of his back pocket, then managed to get the door open. They hurried into the spacious living room. Rick slammed the door shut behind them a nanosecond before they fell on each other.

Mandy tugged at his shirt, while he did the same with hers. Unfortunately they couldn’t both be pulling T-shirts off each other, so they were forced to break apart, tug off their shirts, then reunite in the center of the room.

“I want you,” he breathed, kissing her jaw, then moving to her neck, where he nibbled on the sensitive skin just below her ear. “I want all of you. I’ve been thinking about this, dreaming about making love with you. I’ve been reliving that amazing afternoon we spent together in my bed. I knew you were right to say we shouldn’t do it again, but that didn’t stop me from wanting you.”

His words were verbal seduction of the most powerful kind. Mandy felt herself melting inside as she gave herself up to the images he painted. She wanted
to tell him she had wanted him, too, that there were nights when sexual flashbacks had kept her from sleeping, but as he was kissing her on the mouth, she found it tough to speak.

Then she didn’t want to speak because he’d unfastened her bra and pushed the straps down her arms. As the lingerie fell to the floor, he cupped her breasts in his hands. While he used his fingers to explore her curves, he teased her tight nipples with his thumbs.

Fire shot through her. She clamped her mouth around his tongue and sucked until he moaned. She ran one hand through his hair and dropped the other to his hip. From there it was a short journey around between them to the ridge of need pressing against his fly.

She rubbed the length of him with her palm. He responded by biting her lower lip and moving faster against her nipples. He dropped one hand to her hip, then slid it around. She caught her breath in anticipation, then gasped as he gently squeezed her between her legs.

It was too good, she thought frantically. It wasn’t enough. Naked. They had to be naked. Now!

She reached for the fastening of his shorts, but fumbled. He released her, then pushed her hand away and went to work on the button. She did the same on her shorts. Seconds later they were both naked.

He broke the kiss and stared into her face. She didn’t know what he saw there, but if the wanting was anything like that which she saw on his face, it was pretty powerful. He lowered one hand and stroked her fanny, tracing the full curve then squeezing slightly. Suddenly he closed his eyes and groaned.

“I hope to hell I’ve got a condom in my shaving kit.”

She stared at him. She could feel her eyes widening and her mouth parting. “I never thought of that.” Of course they needed protection. She wasn’t on any kind of birth control, and there were other considerations.

Rick took off for the bathroom of the bedroom he was supposed to be using. She watched him go, admiring the movement of powerful muscles, then followed when he disappeared. There was a rustling sound from the bathroom.

“We can do other stuff if we have to,” she called.

“I know that, but I really want to be inside of you. I love how hot and wet you feel. It drives me crazy.”

His matter-of-fact statement nearly sent her to her knees.

“Got it!”

He came out waving a wrapped condom. Before she could move to the bed, he swooped down and gathered her in his arms.

“I want you,” he breathed, kissing her cheeks, her mouth, her jaw. “All of you.”

He kissed her neck, then moved lower to her breasts, all the while moving her backward toward the bed. When she came to a stop against the mattress, he tenderly lowered her down, following so that he knelt between her legs. He tossed the protection onto the nightstand and bent low to lick her nipples.