The Sunshine Dame of Doom (5 page)

Nick frowned “What are you talking about, dude?”

“Come on, man. We all watched that video together in the cafeteria, right before the campus was overrun.”

“Oh, you mean the elementary school thing.” Nick scoffed. “Jeez, I can’t believe you fell for that one.”

“Why? What do you mean?”

“It was obviously something cooked up by the press. It’s just impossible that one girl could do all that.”

“Don’t you believe in girl power, Nick?” Susan turned to him. “Are you going sexist on me now?”

“I do believe in girl power. An army of powerful girls can take out hundreds of zombies. One single person, never mind it’s a girl or a boy, cannot.”

“Why would the press stage such thing?” Paul asked. “Why going to all that trouble?”

“Maybe the government, wherever it is now, ordered the whole thing.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, to keep our hopes up perhaps, to pretend that, after all the screw-ups they’ve done, there’re still heroes among us.”

“So, you don’t believe in Apocalily?” Paul asked.

“Nope, I only believe in apocalypse, because there’s one going on right now. That woman who so solemnly carried the crippled girl out of the school is nothing more than an actress or some daft top model they hired for the occasion.”

“Hey!” Becky screamed.

“Oops! I mean, no offense, honey.”

“And I bet they paid her in appetite suppressing drugs!” Frank joked. “Right, Bec?”

Paul and Nick grinned.

Becky practically jumped out of her seat “You know something, fuck you, fuck you all! I’m sick of this whole… I’m sick of all of you!”

And she walked away.

“Hey, don’t wander around all alone!” Susan shouted, but the girl just kept on going until disappearing beyond the room exit.

“That was not nice!” Susan scolded the men.

“Let her go, the little prick.” Nick said. “We all benefit from this. She surely can use some time alone and we can take a rest from her.”

“That’s cruel, you know?” Susan spoke. “She’s our friend!”

“Stop defending her, Sue. Can’t you see what you’re doing?”

“She’s been through a lot!”

“Yes, like all of us!” Nick talked real loud. “We all suffered, we all had losses since this whole mess started! She’s just too selfish to see anything else other than her little pretty fairytales world!” He took a deep breath. “She’s a spoilt little brat and you’re making her worse! Damn it, everything’s just a freaking giant mirror to her!”

Becky was in the restroom, looking in the mirror.

“Assholes!” She cursed.

Then, tears welled up in her eyes and she whispered “Lucas…”

She went back to the lobby and saw some protein bars in a vending machine. One might say she was really hungry. After making sure through the glass the bars were positively diet, she began to shake the machine real harshly, but it wasn’t budging.

“You don’t have to do that, darling.” A very deep female voice startled Becky.

She turned around to yell at whomever that was, but froze speechless. A beautiful, slender, blonde woman was standing right by her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She said softly.

“No… No problem.” Becky mumbled with a dumb expression. The penetrating blue eyes of the woman seemed to petrify her entire body, as if a simple look could wrap around a soul.

Becky felt a strange chill run down her spine. It was at same time uncomfortable and caressing. But who the heck was that woman?

“Who are you?” Becky then decided to just go ahead and ask.

“Call me Shane.” The woman answered, opening a very white and sweet smile. “What about you, sweet pea?”

“My name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky.”

“It’s adorable anyway.”

Becky was definitely enchanted.

“Oh, by the way…” Shane said sportively and went to the vending machine.

She simply pulled the door toward her.

“See, all you got to do is open it!”

Becky did not think twice and advanced to the protein bars. “Only one!” she magnanimously promised herself. In about thirty seconds, she had already devoured five bars. Shane looked at her motherly.

“There are more, honey.” She said. “But you’d better take it easy. It’s not a good idea to fill your stomach all at once. You clearly haven’t eaten in awhile. Give your stomach time to adapt.”

Becky faced her with very childish eyes. Her mouth was too full to speak.

“Are you a top model or something?” Shane asked her.

“Trying to be” Becky responded a little suspicious. “Why?”

Shane laughed, as if reading the girl’s mind.

“I’m asking because you’re just too beautiful not to be a top model, honey!”

“Thanks!” Becky’s face was illuminated by a smile, something she almost never did. “Too bad you’re the only one who thinks so.”

“I don’t believe you!”

Becky never felt so comfortable and protected like in that moment. She didn’t understand what was happening to her, but it was so good she just let herself go by such feelings.

“Do you run this place?” Becky asked, again with her mouth full.

“Can say that, yes” Shane replied. “Actually, I run a lot of places. Normally, I have more people helping me in here, but now I’m alone.”

“You opened the door for us?”

“Of course!”

“My bubblehead friends are in cinema-one stuffing their bellies with all your snacks. They’re actually making a hell of a mess in there. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Bubblehead friends!” Shane laughed aloud. “Oh, such a little rascal you are!”

Becky smiled again.

“And of course I don’t mind.” Shane continued. “That’s why I opened the door for you! I want you to eat and have fun. Most of all, I want you to feel safe. Let’s take a break from all the madness outside, what do you say?”

“I can live with that!”

“And nothing better than a movie theater to do so, huh? For most people, places like this represented everything that was good and glamorous and entertaining, bringing the best in each and every one of us, giving us a reason for living… I tell you what, I introduce myself to your friends and we all watch a movie together! And you get to choose it!”

Becky lowered her eyes all of a sudden.

“What’s wrong?” Shane asked her.

Becky was usually as tightlipped as an oyster. But she caught herself yapping:

“You shouldn’t talk like this! You shouldn’t talk about how things used to be. You shouldn’t talk about hope when there’s none! There are no such things as
best in each and every one of us
and
reason for living
. This is a big pile of crap. Places like this sold fantasy, that’s all. Two hours later, we had to be back on a shitty world, to a shitty reality!”

“You’re in pain I can see.”

“Damn right I am! Lucas… You know, my… he loved the theaters, he loved movies, but those jerks…” She started to sob.

“I can help you.”

“What?”

“I can make all your pains go away.”

“What the… What the heck are you talking about, Shane?”

However, Becky could no longer take her eyes off Shane, although she had lost the means to realize it. Her muscles paralyzed all at once, she could not move. And yet, Becky felt extremely good.

Shane said:

“The sunshine springs, happiness it brings.

Those eyes you should follow, to keep away sorrow.

Seek the giant bird you must, on her you shall blindly trust.

For the good science you will urge, from all impurities to purge.”

Becky blinked a couple of times.

“Wow!” She said.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

“Well, now we just have to find a way to beat boredom.” Nick yawned.

“Try having your stomach pumped.” Susan replied.

“You also ate a hell lot!”

“I know, but I like to nag.” She smiled. So did the other three.

They lazily stood up, even having to put some efforts to do so.

“Man, I don’t want to see food for at least a month.” Frank said.

“I hope you don’t have to swallow those words in a month.” Paul spoke.

“I’m too full to swallow anything.”

“We’d better try to find some weapons.” Nick suggested. “We can’t stay here forever.”

“What kind of weapons can we find in a movie theater?” Frank asked.

“We can smash zombies’ heads with movie reels.” Paul replied.

“Very funny.”

“Why don’t we just stay here?” Frank suggested.

“Because we are still in the middle of nowhere” Nick answered. “If we eat every day as we did in the last fifteen minutes, we’re going to run out of food real fast.”

“Not to mention we still have loved ones to find.” Susan said. “We can’t just give up on them.”

“But where we go from here, and with what vehicle? The good old van must be packed with walking corpses right now.”

“That’s a good point.” Nick admitted. “Well, let’s go find the creepo and then we see.”

“Hey, you be nice to Becky!” Susan practically commanded him.

However, they didn’t have to go very far. By the cinema exit the
creepo
was standing, together with Shane. And Becky was eating a large double cheeseburger, not exactly a veggie one.

“Hey guys.” She said with her mouth full. “Sorry I left in such a hurry. This is Shane. She’s the one who opened the door for us. She also runs this place.”

“Hi…” Nick and Frank said insecure. Susan and Paul just nodded.

“Hi, everybody!” Shane replied with a bright, incredibly charming smile.

“Thanks for letting us in.” Susan spoke.

The surprise of meeting their savior so suddenly was nothing compared to the astonishment of seeing Becky eating a carnivore, vein clogging meal.

“Oh, think nothing of it.” Shane responded. “It was actually a selfish act. I was desperate for company. And I could never imagine I’d be visited by such nice folks. I should be the one thanking you.”

“Um, guys…” Becky spoke. “I’m sorry I was mean to you before. What happened in the park was nobody’s fault. If Joyce had obeyed Susan instead of chasing that freaking dog, she’d be alive now. Lucas was careless as usual and got himself bitten. There was nothing else you could’ve done. I was a jerk, I’m really sorry.”

“Not at all!” Susan said emphatically. “Nobody’s a jerk. It was a difficult situation, we all understand. Joyce and Lucas meant a lot to all of us.”

“Thanks.” Becky said very gently. Nick frowned.

“I’m so excited!” Shane continued. “I’ve never felt such positive energy like the one you bring. You’ll fit in just fine. I can barely wait to show you around. Feel very much free to eat and drink all you want. Then, we meet back here for a movie. I got a pretty good selection of the cheesiest Hollywood trash of all times, just for you!”

“Alright!!!” Frank jumped.

Lily saw a rest-stop up yonder, with some fuel dispensers. She slowed down and stopped by one with
diesel
written on the side. It looked functional. There was also a convenience store sharing space with a restaurant called
Peace on Earth Diner
.

“Alright, boykie, this is it.” She said. “Let’s try to do this nice and easy.

“Are we expecting any trouble?” Clark asked. “This place looks so empty.”

“Yes, that’s what I thought when I stopped at this off-road bar to stretch my legs and perhaps have a drink, but some dead guys interrupted me in mid-moonshine.”

“And I bet you took care of them Apocalily style, huh?”

“I took care of them so I could survive style.”

They left the vehicle and closed the doors as smoothly as they could. The sound of the doors slamming shut was loud just the same.

“So, whatever you do, do it quietly.” Lily advised him. “And if you have to go to the bathroom for number two, remember to fart low.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Lily looked at all sides. Instinctively, Clark did the same. She grabbed the pump.

“It seems to be in order.”

She anxiously turned to the vehicle and opened the tank cover a little too roughly, almost breaking it in the process.

“Hey, careful with that” Clark said. “This is not a motorized kangaroo!”

“Oh, this is nice!” Lily replied, a little more offended than Clark expected. “And I bet you think we also have chariots pulled by koalas, right?”

“Hey, I’m sorry! I was just kidding!”

“Then, let me tell you something, chap. Despite all labels you people like to plaster on foreigners’ faces, all stereotypes you may say about Australia are powerfully inaccurate!”

Nevertheless, maybe because she accidently spoke a little too loud, or maybe due to a terrible twist of fate, ten morbidly deformed, snarling walking corpses appeared completely out of the blue, as if coming from the deepest catacombs of hell, advancing furiously toward them.

“Shit!” Clark cried in despair and started to scratch the side of the vehicle. “Open the door, Lily!”

However, as quickly as the wind, Lily drew a boomerang from somewhere inside her belt and tossed it. Armed with sharp razors on its concave side, the device sliced in half five skulls on its way up and another five skulls on its way back, to finally land safely back on Lily’s hand. The beasts fell helpless on the floor.

She turned to Clark, who was staring directly at her.

“Well, maybe one or two stereotypes are accurate.” She said.

“And I’m glad for that!” Clark took a deep breath. “Now I know what the fingerless gloves are for.”

“It’s never a good idea having your hand amputated by your faithful boomerang.”

“So, do you have any more surprises in that utility belt of yours?”

“No, that’s pretty much it, two little knives, a boomerang and the modular hockey stick on my back.”

“Can I have the two knives?”

“No.”

“What if I have to defend myself against zombies?”

“You just whistle and I come
quick
.”

“Okay.”

“Now seriously, we have to get something for you to defend yourself, only not my two knives. And, as I said before, those racquets of yours won’t do it, unless some zombies play tennis.”

“We can try to find something sharp in the convenience store.”

Lily finished refueling her motorized kangaroo.

“Let’s take a look.” She agreed. “Empty your tennis bag, please.”

Lily opened the glass door to the convenience store and a bell attached to the doorframe jingled.

“Goddamn it!” Lily cursed as low as she could manage.

“Some people have no respect for sneaking in.” Clark whispered back.

“Problem is folks who have those bells installed on doors never consider the possibility of a zombie attack.” 

“They just don’t plan ahead.”

Lily and Clark walked around real slow. They were cautious but heard no snarls.

“I guess the coast is clear.” Lily spoke. “Anyway, keep your voice down. Those dead buckos are sneaky.”

“You’re telling me!”

“Alright, lad, try to find something you can use as a weapon, while I get some food and water.”

“Perhaps I should try first on
zombie killing sportswear
section.”

Lily smiled.

“Remember, be extra careful.” She said. “If you see a zombie, don’t engage, just call me.”

“I appreciate your good advice, but believe me, it is utterly unnecessary. I won’t engage a fly without calling you.”

And they went to their respective errands. Mate Clarkson checked racks and shelves systematically, but couldn’t find anything sharp or big enough to inflict damage. He found nail clippers, shoe buffers, nail files, head clips, one or two small pliers and a great variety of tennis racquets.

Another thing he found was a zombie walking like a drunk by the end of the long rack he was also standing by.

“Oh my God, Lily…” He tried to call her, but only peeps came out of his mouth.

That gave him a brilliant idea! Keep absolutely quiet and pray for the zombie to go away. And it was working, until the creature tripped on its own heels, turned around and saw him.

For somebody who seemed so unstable before, the living dead advanced to Clark surprisingly fast with wide open mouth.

“AHHHHH” He screamed, and in a desperate impetus snatched a pack containing a kitting scissor from a hook and hit the general direction from which the zombie was coming with it.

When he finally built the nerves to uncover his face, he saw the dead monster stretching lifeless on the floor with the scissor and the pack impaling its head.

“What happened?” Lily came from behind him.

She saw the zombie on the ground with its scalp pierced by the scissor.

“Yes, you can use this one.” She said. “Just take it out of the pack next time.”

“Wow! Did you see that? Very soon, people will be calling me
Apocaclark
!”

“Are you all right?”

“Sure! I saw ugly here coming and I knew exactly what to do.”

“I heard a scream.”

“It was the zombie.”

“Oh.”

But a very familiar choir of unmistakable growls echoed through the market. Clark took the scissor out of the dead skull and out of the pack.

“Ugh, this is gross!” He spoke.

Seven more cadavers found them. Lily drew her two knives.

“You know what to do, lad.” She said.

And Clark needed to hear nothing more. Boosted by a courageous surge of stamina, he jumped to one of the growlers and thrust his new weapon right in its left eye.

“This is great!” He cheered himself.   

And that was it. In a matter of minutes, Lily and Clark finished all attackers. Clark bravely killed the already mentioned zombie, while Lily killed the other six.

“Nice teamwork, partner!” He said.

“Right on!”

“I’m getting the hang of it.”

“Good, that may come in handy. Now, we’d better go. I’ve already got everything we need for the moment. We’re making too much noise and I don’t want to start another party.”

They went to the counter. Lily grabbed the tennis bag full with supplies and headed toward the glass door. But she retreated and turned to her partner.

“Hey Clark, we may have a little problem.”

The man looked outside through the glass.

“I see.” He spoke. “It seems the party already started.

“And we are the main course.”

At least fifty rotting corpses were walking around Lily’s truck, like drifting boats.

“What we do now?” Clark asked.

“We open our way through them.”

“Okay.” He said, but not so self assured.

“Take this.” She gave him the tennis bag and he strapped it to his back.

Clark raised his knitting scissor.

“Just one thing,” Lily said “take this matter seriously, never underestimate those dead psychos.”

“I won’t.” Clark mumbled.

She opened the door and they left. It didn’t take long for the living dead to notice them. Lily just walked toward the hungry enemies with Mate right behind her, getting nervous at every step. The beasts were inches from them and coming fast. Finally, the Australian woman decided to grab the hockey stick to mount it. 

But Clark didn’t have to do anything actually. With big shining eyes, he gazed with admiration at the elegant ballet performed by Lily, while she swung and twirled the hockey stick like the most skillful of swashbucklers, cutting heads as she went.

One by one, two by two, three by three, the hungry beasts tumbled down inert and nullified. She cleared their way enough so they could get to truck. But once they were inside, more corpses came.

Very soon, a horde of zombies completely surrounded the vehicle, pounding and climbing, shaking the truck real hard.

“Alright” Lily said behind the wheel. “The secret to safely deal with those creatures can be summarized in a single word, velocity. The faster you kill them, the better. Always look around you. They may be slow, but they can surprise you. They may come from behind you, from above you, or even crawling on the floor, they may come from everywhere. You have to be prepared all the time.”

“Yes, I appreciate you taking the time to teach me and all, but I really think we should do something about those monsters on the verge of turning the car around!”

“You’re right.” Lily pulled a lever right below the dashboard.

Several pointy spikes shaped like cones projected out from all sides of the truck, impaling a good deal of the zombies. Lily pushed the lever back to its original position and the spikes retreated back inside the vehicle, dropping perforated creatures on the ground.

The falling of the zombies directly connected to the truck gave Lily enough room to start the engine and speed away from the rest of the horde.

“Spikes that come out of the hull…” Clark divagated aloud.

“Yep.”

“Let me guess, daddy did this too.”

“He had a problem with strangers messing with his property.”

“And a very subtle way to show it, I can see.”

“Daddy had a delightful way to handle matters, don’t you think?”

“That’s for sure. Is there anything else this
Apocamobile
of yours can do?”

“It takes you to places.”

“It also takes you
out
of places, thank God.”

“It’s amazing what you can do with just a few gallons of diesel.”

“Well, I’m just glad we got out of there. Damn, we were shaking more than Elvis’ hips in that Ed Sullivan Show.”

“Who's...?”

“Oh please! Don’t tell me you’re going to ask who Elvis is!”

“I was going to ask who Ed Sullivan is. Of course I know who Elvis is! You're talking about Elvis Presley, right, not Elvis Costello?”

“Who's Elvis Costello?”

“Never mind. Anyway, I do know who Elvis Presley is.”

“Oh yeah?! Prove it!”

“Wop bop a loomba blop blop boom boom, tutti frutti, au rutti, tutti frutti, au rutti, tutti frutti, au rutti, tutti frutti, au rutti, tutti frutti, au rutti, wop bomb a boom bam blah blah, bang bang...”

“All right, stop that! You made your point! Jesus!”

“Elvis is the king.”

“Oh yeah, he is.”