The Swarm Trilogy (15 page)

Kellan’s eyes narrowed as he waited for my response.

I thought of Bryden. I thought of freeing Mags and Trevin. I thought of Aric’s pain and the happiness he could find tomorrow. He’d cleaned up his mug and already stumbled off to bed. Kellan and I were alone. I could leave him and risk repercussions, ruining everything we’d planned for tomorrow. Or I could hope Bryden would understand and still help me tomorrow with his magic, that I might have the chance to explain after everyone was free. I hoped he loved me as much as I loved him and would let me explain.

“Of course, I’ll never leave,” I said, caressing Kellan’s face.

“Let’s go to bed.” He grabbed my hand and led me to his bedroom. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I woke up the next morning, after dreaming of Bryden all night. It was the first night since my birthday I hadn’t dreamed of boats and the river and I felt relieved. Maybe they were gone for good. I rolled over to find myself in Kellan’s arms. Trying not to wake him, I slipped out of his embrace and off the bed. I watched him lay still, his hair hanging over his forehead. I remembered how much I had loved him, such an innocent feeling before everything changed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, sneaking out of his room for the last time.

I tiptoed down the hall and glanced into Aric’s room. His drawers were open and empty. Obviously he’d packed and was already gone. I sighed, relieved he’d remembered everything I said. He was gone. He and Kellan wouldn’t have a chance to talk, to know I was ripping their family apart to keep another together.

Throwing my cloak around my shoulders, I took one last look at the cottage I’d considered my second home. I had so many memories here, more good than bad. I grabbed a piece of parchment off the shelf and a quill. I hadn’t broken up with Kellan yet, but I needed to.

Stay home today. I will go through with my plan, but then I’ll escape on my own. The past few weeks have been so hard on me and I need time to myself, time away from us. Don’t look for me, just let me go.

I hoped it was enough. I could break it off without breaking his heart. Even if he’d been lying and trying to hurt me, I could never purposely hurt him back. I didn’t want to tell him about Bryden. Our relationship was too new, too precious and sharing it with Kellan would only sully it.

If we still had a relationship after last night. I’d pretended to fall asleep in Kellan’s arms, but instead I was awake, thinking about Bryden. I imagined what we would have been doing if I’d been in his arms instead of Kellan’s, but I knew deep down that leaving Kellan last night might have ruined everything we were planning for today. Mags’ life depended on our plan and I couldn’t risk it. Not for my own needs. Not for Bryden’s needs.

I threw the cloak over my head and snuck out the front door. It was early and not many people were awake yet. Those that were out were still rubbing their eyes and going about mundane tasks. No one would pay attention to me. No one would care.

I could just make out the sign to Bristly Boar Inn through the morning fog as I walked down the street. Even though I wanted to run straight into Bryden’s arms, I knew I had to explain to him first. My only hope was that Bryden was still willing to help me even though I didn’t show up last night.

I walked in the front door and straight to the staircase at the back of the inn. The wooden steps creaked as I entered the hallway. Three doors stood in front of me and I knew the lone door on the right led to Bryden’s room because he had told me exactly where to find him. I placed my hand on the knob, readying myself to walk in, when the door behind me opened.

“You looking for Master Bryden?” a male voice asked.

The man, older and smelling of day-old liquor, leered at me. I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything.

“Well, he’s already gone. Packed up his belongings and left early this morning, before the sun rose. I saw him on my way up from the tavern. He didn’t acknowledge me, but I saw him, alright. Had a big pack on his back. Didn’t cause him no trouble as he limped down the stairs.”

“Are you sure he didn’t come back?” I asked. My stomach sank. I pictured him up all night, waiting for me in his room. Giving up, he packed his bags and left before I could come to him before Mags’ execution. Before I could explain.

“It’s possible, but I would have heard him. Couldn’t sleep. Liquor puts most people out. Me? Up for hours until it’s outta my system. But I see no reason why you can’t go in the room and check.”

I nodded again and turned my back on him. I didn’t put my shaking hand on the knob until I heard his door close. I turned the knob on the old wooden door and it creaked open.

I walked in, my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. He’d left the curtains closed and there wasn’t another source of light to illuminate my surroundings. I stumbled as I walked through the room, reaching out for the curtains. I grasped the edge of one corner and pulled it aside far enough to allow in a stream of light.

I sat on the bed next to the window. There was nothing left. Not a book. Not a scrap of clothing. Just a crumbled up piece of parchment on the bed next to me.

I picked it up, rubbing the parchment between my finger and thumb. I didn’t want to open it. If I’d hurt him or he’d decided not to help me, I didn’t know what I’d do. But I couldn’t wait any longer. Time was short.

I unfolded the parchment, recognizing his handwriting immediately.

I don’t know if you’ll get this or not, Lianne. Whether you come to me or not, I will still help this morning. Mags needs to be freed. King Rotlar can’t continue with this type of behavior. But I won’t meet you, Mags and Aric at the designated spot. I’ve opened myself to you one too many times and I have to force myself to realize that I will never be the one you choose.

I’ll create the explosion and you’ll be able to escape with Mags. But after that, I’ll be gone from Fithia. It’s time for me to move on. You’ve awakened. You know the truth and you’re on your way to controlling your magic. I wish you only the best.

All my love,

Bryden

The ink bled as it mixed with my tears. I crumpled up the note in my fist and threw it the wall. It bounced and rolled a couple times before resting on the floor next to my feet. I wiped my eyes, tired of all the tears I’d cried lately. I loved Bryden and I knew that now. But if he refused to see me, I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t explain. At least he still wanted to help me. Maybe there was a way I could signal him, something I could do to let him know my feelings. If he knew, maybe he’d stay and listen to me for at least a couple minutes.

I reached down and picked the note up. I ran my fingers over it one last time, wondering if that was the closest I’d ever come to touching something of Bryden’s again before tearing it into tiny pieces. I had to save Mags. It was my only driving force. It was what I’d risked everything for. I couldn’t let her die just because I had trouble with my love life. She was worth so much more than that.

I closed the curtain again, turning Bryden’s room into a dark tomb, burying our relationship. He’d given up on me, now it was my turn to move on. Love lost before it barely started. I shook my head, not sure I was ready for any of it.

I left the inn and walked toward the castle, where they were expecting me to accompany Mags on her final walk to the gallows. I fought the butterflies in my stomach as they urged me to turn around and run the other direction. If I could find Bryden beforehand, maybe we could run off together. We could hide, wrapped in our love. The fire licked at the butterflies. I knew if I ran I’d be miserable the rest of my life. I’d never be able to forgive myself for letting Mags die.

The fire abated, giving way to a feeling of love. My love for Mags would get me through this, help me accomplish something that up until a month ago, I’d never thought possible. My best friend in the gallows. In love with a boy who I’d let down and might never forgive me. Leaving Kellan behind. Ready to overturn the ruling of a king I’d feared for many years. Escaping to a homeland I didn’t know if I’d ever really be able to call home.

All of this for the love of a friend.

CHAPTER TWENTY

A guard led me through the dungeon to Mags’ cell. She cowered in the back corner, just like the first day I saw her. But today it was an act. Mags was ready. She knew we were going to save her. She didn’t know Aric had agreed to help, or that he would have Trevin, but she trusted me to work out the details.

She would be reunited with her love. I was supposed to be reunited with mine, but her happiness would have to be enough for me if I couldn’t get a signal to Bryden. It would be unlikely. I didn’t even know where he would be hidden. It had been our idea that if I accidentally looked toward him, someone might spot him. He was slower than us, and needed more time to get away. If anyone knew we were working together, we’d never be able to escape.

It didn’t matter now. We’d be heading in different directions. Bryden should have no problem hiding. No one would be following him. My guess was that as soon as he started the explosions, he’d leave the rest up to me. He would think I didn’t need him anymore, but I did. For so much more than setting Mags free.

I calmed my racing thoughts by focusing on Mags as the surly guard opened up the heavy wooden door separating us.

“They’ll come for you two soon.” He turned to me. “I don’t know why you’d want to do this. It just leaves you open to the king’s wrath. You sure you don’t want to reconsider?”

“No,” I said. “She’s my friend and I owe her this much. Besides, really, what’s a little execution of a whore? Is anyone going to care?”

He laughed and patted me on the shoulder. “Maybe you are smarter than I thought. I’ll tell the other guards you said that. It’ll get back to the king and maybe he’ll allow you back in the castle.”

“Thanks.” I entered the cell and he shut and locked the door behind me. The smile fell from my face quickly as I rushed to Mags’ side.

“I heard what you said.” Her voice sounded like a frog, croaking in the night sky.

“You know I didn’t mean it,” I said, pulling a comb out of my pocket. The guard had forgotten to pat me down, distracted by my comments. The comb wasn’t the only surprise I had hiding in my cloak, but it was the only tool I needed now. “Have they been giving you enough to drink? You sound awful.”

“Thanks.” A smile cracked the lines in Mags’ face. “I have been drinking. I don’t know if it’s enough.” I tried not to think about how much she’d aged in the last week as I combed through her hair. Every couple of minutes I dipped the comb in her mug of water, making it easier for it to separate her waves into a presentable hairstyle. I wouldn’t have her march in front of her subjects looking a mess. Mags was every inch a queen and deserved to be presented like it.

“Did you talk to Aric?” she asked. “Is he going to help us? Is he going to get Trevin?”

“I talked to him last night. He was a little drunk, I think because he didn’t know what to do about your impending execution.”

Even though I was behind Mags now, still combing her hair, I could feel her head move. I knew a smile had sprouted on her face.

“And of course he said he would help us,” I said. “Did you think he wouldn’t?”

“After the way I treated him? Denying him his son and turning him away? Why should he help me?”

“Because he loves you,” I answered. “If he loves you, he’ll forgive you.”

I paused for a moment, the comb stuck at a knot. Would Bryden feel that way about me if we ever had a chance to talk again?

“Everything okay?” Mags asked.

“Yeah, just fine,” I said, going back to work on the knot in her hair.

A few minutes later I was done. Her hair didn’t shine like it used to, but it was presentable. Maybe she didn’t look like a queen, but she didn’t look like a prisoner either. Mags turned around and her bright smile nearly erased any of the grime on her body or hair. No wonder the king had chosen her for his wife. She didn’t need gowns or fancy hairdos. Mags had what it took to be a queen in her smile.

“You’d better not do that when the guard comes,” I said, “or he’ll know something is up.”

“I won’t. I promise. I just can’t believe I’m going to see Trevin again so soon. And to think he’ll be with his father, his real father. How did you pull this all together so quickly?”

“With Bryden’s help. He’s amazing.” My voice cracked. Mags’ eyes crinkled in the corners and she cocked her head to the side, studying my expression.

“You love him, don’t you?” she asked.

I nodded, holding back the tears I’d sworn to myself I’d stop.

“That was quick, but I know you Lianne. You lead with your heart, you always have. I hope he realized you’re an amazing girl and understood everything you’ve sacrificed to be here today. All these years we both thought it would be Kellan. I guess my life isn’t the only one that’s changed.”

Mags opened her arms and I stumbled into them, burying my face in her hair. I had my best friend back. I wanted Bryden back too.

I pulled back quickly as the guard’s heavy boots stomped down the corridor.

“It’s time,” Mags said, a grin taking over her face