The Sweetest Seduction, Breakaway Hearts (32 page)

The onslaught of emotions squeezed her chest, driving the air from her lungs and burning her eyes. Ever since Zach had died, she’d lost herself in the game, in her promise to make the team. In doing so, she’d closed herself off completely. At first, it had helped her deal with the grief of losing her son, but now it held her back from opening up to Ben. And as much as it terrified her, she couldn’t deny that there was something between them. Something more than just sex. He was pounding down her walls, forcing her feel again, and asking her to give him a part of herself that had been locked away for so long.

She put her key in the ignition, trying to convince herself it was better this way, but her heart refused to yield. Jen had told her to listen to her heart, and right now, it was screaming at her for being a prideful coward. Beat by beat, she let the reprimand sink in. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And if she missed this opportunity, would she ever have another one?

She yanked the key out and ran back to the house, banging on the front door. Ben answered, the confusion on his face flashing in front of her before she covered his mouth with hers. She pushed him inside, her arms greedily wrapping around him as she closed the door with her foot.

Ben pulled her hands down and broke away. “Hailey, what—”

“I changed my mind.” Then she kissed him in a way she hoped would answer all his questions about why she was back. But for good measure, she added, “Where’s your bedroom?”

His eyes lit up with barely contained excitement. “This way.”

It was the hotel hallway all over again. Their lips devoured each other while their hands roamed each other’s body. They shed their clothes as they climbed up the stairs to the loft bedroom with cathedral ceilings. It could’ve been the back of his SUV for all she cared. The only thing that mattered to her was being with him.

Her bra had gone the way of her dress, now part of the trail of discarded clothes. Ben covered one of her breasts with his hand and pinched her nipple between his fingers. A jolt zapped straight to her core, leaving her shaky and breathless.

Ben chuckled, his mouth close to her ear. “That’s one of the things I could never forget about you—how responsive you were.” As if to prove his point, he rolled the sensitive nub between his thumb and forefinger, evoking the same reaction from her.

“And I never forgot how good it felt to have you inside me.” She fumbled for his zipper, but he grabbed her hands and pushed her back to the edge of the bed.

“There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I’m going to do what I should’ve done last time. I’m going to take my time making you come so you’ll be too sated to move by the time I’m finished.”

He pulled her panties off in one swift movement and dropped to his knees between her legs. With reverence, he stroked her thighs, coming closer and closer to the place that longed for his touch, but his gaze never left her face. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”

Another shiver coursed through her, but this time, it had nothing to do with his touch. Everything about the moment aroused her, from the awe in his voice to the intensity of his stare. “Please, Ben.”

“Patience.” He bent her legs and rested them on his shoulders, leaving her most intimate areas exposed. Then he lowered his face between her thighs.

Hailey hissed in a breath when his tongue swirled around her clit. At first, she thought he was teasing her, testing her, getting her ready to accept his girth. But with each languid flick, each nibble and suckle, it became very clear that he wasn’t going to stop until she came. She dug her fingers into the sheets, her grip tightening along with the tension coiling inside her pelvis. She bit her bottom lip, fighting him, holding back, refusing to let go until she no longer could.

And then she shattered.

He braced his hands on her hips, holding her down as she thrashed against him, drawing out her pleasure with his mouth as long as he could. By the time he finished, her limbs hung like Jell-O, weak and powerless. He pulled her up to the pillows with him and removed his boxers. The stiff ridge of his erection pressed into the softness of her belly as he settled his weight on her. Any other lover might have taken that moment to plunge into her and take his satisfaction, but Ben cradled her face in his hands and covered her cheeks with featherlight kisses. “Let me know when you’re ready to continue.”

She had barely come back down to earth, but she still had enough of her wits about her to ask, “Do you have a condom?”

He grinned and opened his nightstand drawer, pulling out a long string of them. “I think we’re good for the night.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Feeling slightly optimistic, eh?”

He nodded and ripped one off. “I bought them as soon as I realized who you were. That way, if I ever had a second chance with you, I’d be prepared.”

“And now your patience is about to pay off.”

“I don’t mind waiting for you, Hailey. You’re worth waiting for.”

The glow from his words spread through her like a wildfire, leaving no inch of her untouched. This was what it felt like to be loved and cherished. This was what she’d always dreamed of but had been too afraid to ask for. And now she was back in Ben’s arms, in his bed, and reawakening the joy she’d once feared dead.

He rolled the condom on and positioned himself at the opening of her sex.

She spread her legs wider and tilted her hips, eager to receive him.

Ben eased into her, allowing her inner walls to accommodate him. As he came to the hilt, he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. “Oh, God, Hailey, you feel so good.”

“So do you.” The mild burn of pain from the stretching gave way to a hum of pleasure. He filled her completely, reaching her deepest recesses, and it reminded her just how much she enjoyed having him inside her.

“I meant what I said about taking my time. I want to make love to you slow and easy.”

Her breath caught, but it had nothing to do with the exquisite friction of him moving inside her. This wasn’t just sex to him. He wanted to make love to her, not enjoy another one-night stand. The consequences of the declaration nagged the corners of her mind, but she pushed them away. This wasn’t the time to worry about the past or the future. She’d deal with them in the morning. Right now, all she cared about was the present.

His lips fell over hers, their tongues matching the tempo of their hips as they moved together as one. Every stroke was pure heaven. Every kiss spoke of whispered promises that this wouldn’t be the last time they’d be joined like this. Every caress begged her to let him into her heart.

She fought against falling, but her struggle was in vain. She knew Ben wouldn’t quit until she was his. Everything he did was a plea for her surrender. His kisses grew more demanding. His thrusts became harder and faster. His hands explored her curves, lavishing extra attention on her sensitive breasts. The tightness in her womb returned, only this time, it coiled through her body, bending her will, breaking it, and finally forcing her to surrender completely to him.

His name fell from her lips as the orgasm rushed through her like a pulsating storm. It was wild and savage, ferocious and untamed, unrelenting in its course until it claimed all of her. She should’ve expected nothing less from Ben. He was the only man who’d instinctively known how to please her. This was the reward for her gamble, for trusting him enough to open up to him.

He repeated her name over and over again like a man caught in the throes of a fever, his movements quick and frantic. He plunged into her one final time and stilled, his face contorted in a mix of pleasure and pain. “Hailey,” he said in one long moan before collapsing on top of her.

Minutes passed before she realized they were both shaking. Ben lifted his head and gave her a sleepy, satisfied grin. “Maybe we should crawl under the covers.” He pulled the down duvet over her naked body and cradled her against him. “That was even better than I remembered.”

An hour ago, she wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to outdo his performance from that night, but he’d proven her wrong. She nodded, unable to trust her tongue to form coherent words.

“Just promise me one thing, Hailey?”

“What?”

“Wake me up before you leave this time.”

She smiled and settled into his embrace, not even questioning how well they fit together. “I promise.”

She closed her eyes and drifted off into blissful sleep. As the post-orgasmic hum faded, her dreams took flight. Zach was running in a field of wildflowers like the ones that surrounded Ben’s cabin, laughing without a care in the world. His joy seized her heart, infecting it until she felt as free and happy as her son. Ben stood behind her, holding her in his arms while they watched their son play.

In a perfect world, it would’ve been like this, with her son still alive and his father by her side. Zach stopped and came up to her, taking her hand in his and looking up at her with those steely blue eyes that were so like his father’s. “Don’t forget,” he whispered before letting her go and running back into the fields.

The images faded into blackness, reminding her it was nothing more than a dream. Zach was gone, and she had yet to tell Ben about him. Guilt and grief eroded at her joy, tearing it apart until a sob broke free from her throat.

Chapter Eleven

Ben jerked awake at the sound of a mournful wail.

Hailey was lying with her back to him, curled up in a shaking, sniffling ball.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching for her, but she rolled out of bed and ran into the bathroom. A minute later, the sound of running water drowned out her sobs.

He sat up and ran his hands along his face.
What the fuck did I do this time?

He waited for her to reemerge from the bathroom, to explain her behavior, but as the minutes ticked by, his confusion and frustration grew. He’d tried to be patient, tried to give her space when she had retreated from him, but his pride could only take so much, especially when a woman ran away crying after he’d made love to her. It was time to ask the hard questions and not back down until he got answers.

He jumped out of bed, his feet striking the floor with the same determination as his endeavor to uncover the truth. He opened the bathroom door and froze.

Hailey sat in the corner of the shower, her knees drawn up to her chest, her lean body wracked with sobs.

It hit him like a punch to the gut. All this time, he’d only seen the tough hockey player, the confident woman who went after what she wanted. Now, he was witnessing another side to her. This Hailey was fragile and lost, and his arms longed to comfort her.

She snapped her head up and peered at him through the fogged-up glass. Terror gleamed in her eyes before she wiped them with the back of her hand and turned away. She struggled to rise, climbing up the wall for balance. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“Don’t apologize.” He opened the glass door and stepped into the warm water. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and blocked her exit. “Tough.”

“Let me go, Ben.”

“Not until you tell me why you’re sitting in my shower, crying.”

“It’s none of your business.” Her upper lip curled into a snarl, and her blue eyes flashed in anger. This was the Hailey he knew, the fighter. Only now, he wished she’d disappear so he could solve the mystery of the side she kept hidden from him.

“And what if I want to make it my business?” He closed the space between them, blocking her deeper into the corner where she couldn’t escape. “I care about you, Hailey. I want to be a part of your life, but I can’t do it if you keep shutting me out.”

She lifted her chin, but the growing tremble in it belied the stubborn gesture. Her shoulders slumped, and the tears started falling again. “Ben, I wish I could—”

He guided her face back to him, his gaze locked with hers. “Tell me, please.”

Her hands curled into fists, and for a second, he worried that she would punch him before telling him why she was crying. Instead, she banged them against the tile wall. A savage cry broke free from her chest, and her body shook from whatever struggle was waging inside her.

“I’m sorry, Ben.” She lowered her head and wrapped her arms around her chest. “I’ve been closed off for so long that now I’m…”

She seemed to be retreating again, so he stepped closer, pulled her body against his, and tucked her head under his chin. “You what?”

“I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to hurt. So I buried myself in the game, in my ridiculous pursuit of a dream, just so I’d have something else to focus on other than the pain. And for a while, it worked. It got me out of bed every day and kept me going. And then you had to come back into my life and challenge this shell of numbness I’d wrapped myself in.”

She slipped her arms under his and clung to him. “Tonight, you reminded me what it was like to feel again—the good and the bad. I know I can’t have one without the other, but you make it worth the risk. You’ve made me remember what joy feels like. You make me want to toss away my isolation and connect to someone. You make me feel alive, and even though I’m scared to death I’ll get hurt again, I still want you.”