Authors: Lacey Dearie
The Tangled Web (12 page)
“Knowing that these men are liars and scumbags
makes my job much easier though. And their long suffering wives or girlfriends
can move on to men who deserve them.”
As more and more men are duped into falling for
these virtual conquests on a daily basis, are these cheaters any worse than the
men who cheat physically?
The Pink Cougar’s answer is, “That’s for our
clients to decide.”
8
MAGNUM PMT’S BLOG
5
th
February – The HunE-trap Goes National!
We’re famous! The article from Thursday’s local paper
written by Peter Blackwood about our company is going national and will be
published in a Sunday paper tomorrow. He cruelly hasn’t told us which one and
says we’ll have to go to the paper shop to find out in the morning. How mean!
The Pink Cougar is slightly pissed off that his version of
events in the article isn’t exactly accurate, but Sherlock Poems has brushed
those concerns aside. He says it doesn’t need to be strictly true, as long as
we get the publicity.
Since starting our company, (which we’ve now named
HunE-trap Investigations after the article) at the beginning of last month, a
lot seems to have happened. I now find myself saying, “Ian Who?”
Firstly, we’ve set up this website for our company. It
doesn’t show the name as well as we’d like it to. Looks like hune trap. What
is a hune trap anyway? But we can always get another domain name later. We
just wanted to get things up and running because we knew we’d get tons of
business in Inverness following Peter’s article.
And now that people all over the country will be reading
it, the sky’s the limit!
I’ll continue to blog on the HunE-trap site so our clients
can read about what we’re up to. I’ll update it on a Sunday after every staff
meeting.
Our price list has been added to our site. Any questions,
please email The Pink Cougar. We’ll all be setting up individual accounts on
Tête-a-net so you can add us to your contacts if you wish to ask us questions
about our work or hire us to investigate someone for you. We will use honeys
on Tête-a-net primarily. If you wish us to investigate on another site, please
email us to discuss. Please note we do NOT accept real life assignments under
any circumstances.
Finally, it looks like we’ll be expanding already. The
Pink Cougar’s boyfriend, my brother, (PI name Lame Bond on account of his
broken leg) will be joining us soon. He’s put plans to start his own business
on hold after a car accident put him out of action and he’s spending his
convalescence period working with us. Which means we will not only be
investigating cheating men, but now also cheating women. We are an equal
opportunities business!
6
th
February
Christos wants to chat with you!
Vicky says…
Hiya Christos *mwah*
Christos says…
Hello agapi mou :) I was just reading your latest Magnum
PMT blog
Vicky says…
What do you think of it?
Christos says…
I still think you’re mad for going ahead with all this.
Vicky says…
I know :) Did you see Peter’s article in the local paper?
Christos says…
No, I didn’t manage to get a paper this week
Vicky says…
I’ll send it to you…
Vicky says…
You got it?
Christos says…
Yup, I’m reading it now. Did this really happen? I
thought he didn’t take the bait?
Vicky says…
That wasn’t a good enough story so he used a
little…artistic licence, shall we say?
Christos says…
So it’s made up then?
Vicky says…
Yeah.
Christos says…
Oh jeez. He makes it sound like Magnus is your pimp.
Vicky says…
LOL
Christos says…
That’s not funny :/
Vicky says…
I thought Flic came out quite badly from the way it was
written. Makes her sound like a total bitch.
Christos says…
I agree
Vicky says…
So, from reading that would you hire us?
Christos says…
No, but from reading that I’d be a lot more careful about
who I become friends with online :P
Vicky says…
Do you think it will put cheaters off flirting online?
Christos says…
Not sure but I’m definitely going to question everyone I
become friends with now
Vicky says…
Listen, I can’t talk long, we’re having our staff meeting
tonight
Christos says…
Whose house this time?
Vicky says…
Flic’s. It makes sense since she and Adam are both there.
I’m a bit worried about travelling over there in the snow :S
Christos says…
You be careful. Leave Sasha at home with your parents if
you can.
Vicky says…
I can’t, they’ll want to know why I’m swanning off to
Flic’s in this weather. Too many questions.
Christos says…
Just tell them what you’re doing
Vicky says…
I can’t! I gave them such a hard time about how they made
their living. I’d look like a bit of a hypocrite if I told them about this.
Christos says…
Will you PLEASE tell me what your parents do?
Vicky says…
For the last time, no.
Christos says…
BRB
Christos says…
OMG, I found out what your mum does!
Vicky says…
How???
Christos says…
I looked up your house on the voters’ roll to get their
names, then Googled them :P
Vicky says…
What did it come up with?
Christos says…
For your mum, all I’ll say is…99 :P
Vicky says…
Fuck!
Vicky says…
So now you know
Christos says…
Am I right???????
Vicky says…
Yeah
Christos says…
Really? I didn’t think I’d got the right Maria Robertson!
Your mum really invented the world’s best selling sex toy?
Vicky says…
Yes. She put her engineering degree to good use.
Vicky says…
Please forget we had this conversation.
Christos says…
Ok. Done. How are Flic and Adam getting on?
Vicky says…
Like a house on fire. I can’t believe they’re living
together. ALREADY. They only just met. You’ll never guess what he told me
yesterday. Apparently he was trying to text her to say he never wanted to see
her again and that’s when he crashed. He thinks it’s a sign that he’s supposed
to be with her.
Christos says…
Sounds like a crap reason to move in with someone to me.
Vicky says…
That’s what I thought too. But he’s very superstitious.
He thinks it’s meant to be.
Christos says…
Bonkers! How are things going with Magnus?
Vicky says…
Pretty good :) We’ve been having lots of long chats. He
told me about all his travels, and how he used to play football
semi-professionally. He’s been playing some of the songs he’s written to me.
Did I tell you he plays guitar? And he’s planning to go to eastern Europe this
summer. He spends his holidays every year volunteering. Last year he helped
build a school somewhere. This year he’s working at an orphanage.
Christos says…
Wow. Sounds like he’s pretty perfect. Athletic,
successful, talented, caring. Where’s the flaws?
Vicky says…
Not sure. I can’t understand why he’s single. But I don’t
care really. It means he’s free to be with me once we know each other better!
I told him about how I had post natal depression and he actually sat down with
me and we worked out a plan for the coming year to help me cope with work and
the business and looking after Sasha. He’s just so caring!
Christos says…
If he sounds too good to be true, he probably is.
Vicky says…
You old cynic! :P
Christos says…
Guilty as charged LOL
Vicky says…
Before I go, can I ask you a favour?
Christos says…
For you agapi mou, anything ;)
Vicky says…
You know how Pamela wanted in on the business?
Christos says…
Yeah
Vicky says…
And she said she’d blow the whistle on us on Tête-a-net if
we didn’t let her join us?
Christos says…
Yeah
Vicky says…
Well, she’s not content to be just the creative director
any more. She says she wants at least one investigative job. We don’t want to
give her a real client because of her age and because we don’t think she’s
discreet enough
Christos says…
Ok…
Vicky says…
We thought we might give her a fake assignment just to keep
her happy
Christos says…
Where do I come in to this?
Vicky says…
You’re the fake assignment :)
Christos says…
*groan* what do I have to do?
Vicky says…
Nothing. You’ll get a friends request from a girl called
Kayla soon. It’s Pamela. She’s trying to get you to flirt back and expose
yourself as a cheat. Play hard to get.
Christos says…
So all I have to do is accept and be friendly?
Vicky says…
Exactly. Friendly, not flirty. Keep it going for as long
as need be - until she gets bored.
