The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (5 page)

impatient and easily distractible. This also tends to happen as we browse the Internet, clicking from link to link. As our attention races all over the place, our thoughts become increasingly agitated as they bounce from one object to another.

However, the problem of being easily distracted and unable to maintain attention isn’t a new condition. It’s discussed throughout Taoist literature from the last 2,300 years. Human attention doesn’t wish to sit still. As a result, our minds are continually agitated as our thoughts race wildly. An agitated and racing mind is a clear indicator that we aren’t relaxed. In fact, it tells us that we are chronically stressed. Within Taoist literature, this continually agitated and racing mind is often referred to as “galloping while sitting.”

To stop the racing of the mind and gain control of attention, Taoist practices focus on interacting with the world and ourselves from the abdomen or a position of being centered. For Taoists, the abdomen is the location of the lower
dantian
, located two to three inches below the belly button. The lower dantian is not only the center of the body, but also the center of our gravity, balance, and energy. Unlike the situation with the senses and the mind, there is no object of distraction for the lower dantian. Learning how to focus upon and develop this center is fundamental for the practice of Taoist meditation and eliminating chronic stress, as doing so allows us to still and quiet the mind.

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Jack’s Story

Jack, who was fifteen years old, had developed a habit of slouching whether he was walking or sitting. In addition to putting undue

stress on his spine, neck, chest, and various muscles, his posture also appeared to reflect a depressed attitude. When anybody

pointed this out to him, it was usually in negative manner (“Hey,

hunchback!”), making him feel physically and psychologically

worse.

One day his favorite uncle, Kent, who practiced qigong

regularly, came to visit. In a very caring way, Kent walked over to greet Jack, who was standing off by himself. He put one hand on

Jack’s shoulder and gently slid his other hand down to the middle

of Jack’s lower back and softly pushed in. Jack felt his shoulders go back, chest go forward, and head go up. The normal heaviness he

felt sunk to the ground.

Kent, with a big smile on his face, asked Jack how he felt. Jack,

who was also smiling, said he felt really good. Kent explained to

Jack how important good posture is for both physical and

psychological health and told him that this was one of the things

he had learned from his qigong practice.

Concentration

Because Taoism recognizes the problem of distractibility, it includes practices for developing, cultivating, and sustaining attention. Sustained attention is concentration. Taoist meditative practices often develop concentration by having practitioners focus their attention on the lower dantian and maintain it there, without dwelling on anything else.

When the mind drifts (and it will) as you practice the various forms of Taoist meditation, simply ignore the thoughts that arise. Don’t dwell upon or think about them, whatever they may be. Don’t make judgments about how poorly you’re doing. Just acknowledge that you’ve been distracted and return to your focal point. If you don’ t dwell upon or judge thoughts when they arise, they will naturally be extinguished. For thoughts and judgments to remain, we must continually dwell upon or
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feed them. If they are to be sustained, we must give them energy. When we stop providing energy to them, they simply pass from consciousness.

As you consistently and regularly practice this process, you will train your attention and concentration to remain more focused and less distractible. By continuing to practice, you’ll learn how not to provide energy to negative thoughts and chronic threat- based thinking, which will allow these thoughts to dissipate. This will help you slow down and reduce your chronic stress.

Breathing

Well over two thousand years ago, Taoist literature pointed out that improper breathing is a problem both physically and psychologically.

Improper breathing is rapid, shallow, difficult, and strained. It isn’t even or free- flowing. It doesn’t originate from our center. It is clearly linked to chronic stress and unhappiness.

In Taoist practices, proper breathing is essential for health, longevity, enjoying life, and removing chronic stress. It’s also necessary for spiritual development. Proper breathing, which is fundamental to Taoist meditation, originates from our center and is deep, slow, even, and free- flowing.

It is continuous, unbroken, subtle, relaxed, extended, and quiet. Proper breathing takes two primary forms: The first is inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the nose. The second is inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.

In Taoist practices, attending to and concentrating on the breath

refines our breathing. This removes tension and stress from the body, empties the mind of agitation, frees us from entanglement with the affairs of the world, allows us to relax, and unifies body and mind with the universe.

Practice Awareness of the Breath

To provide you with a more experiential understanding of improper

and proper breathing, take a few minutes to simply direct your awareness to your breathing. Don’t think about it; just focus on it. If you find yourself getting distracted from focusing on your breathing, simply
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acknowledge that you’re distracted without making any judgments

about it, then refocus on your breathing. Focus on your breathing for about five minutes. If this seems too long, adjust the time frame to what works best for you.

* * *

did you feel? Were you inhaling and exhaling through your nose?

Did you inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth?

Did you breathe entirely through your mouth? Was your breathing

rapid and shal ow, or slow and deep? Was it quiet or noisy? Did you find yourself getting distracted? If so, what did you notice about your breathing when you were distracted? Did it change? Were you easily able to refocus on the breath? What happened to your breathing the longer you stayed focused on it? Did you feel more relaxed?

Given the close relationship between breathing and chronic

stress, you may want to periodical y focus on your breathing throughout the day. When you do so, ask yourself what your breathing pat-

terns are telling you. You may wish to write about some of these

experiences in your journal.

Guan

A major cause of chronic stress is preconceived biases, filters, expectations, and judgments about what we unrealistically fear is going to happen and how it will make us feel. In this way, we are negatively impacted by our thoughts long before the feared event has a chance to occur. This threat- based thinking, which generates racing thoughts because of the self- generated and usually unrealistic fear, activates the fight- or- flight response. Then, if we should happen to enter the feared situation, we are already stressed and uncomfortable. This physical and psychological reaction has nothing to do with our actual experience of the situation because we’re reacting to what we believe we are going to feel and experience.

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Because of our expectations, judgments, and rigid and inflexible

threat- based thinking, we are constantly interfering with ourselves. Mind and body are agitated and fragmented. We aren’t integrated. As a result we, don’t allow ourselves to be in the present, where we can experience and gain insight into the actual situation. Instead, we just stress ourselves out.

The Taoist approach is quite aware of this rigid and inflexible thinking and judging that fragments us, interferes with our ability to actually experience the present, and leads to chronic stress. It advocates guan, or natural observation. This means observing from a detached, unbiased perspective. Practicing guan provides us with insight not only into the world around us, but into the mind and body. It means engaging the world in the present, without the mind galloping all over the place. It means experiencing all aspects of our world without the filter of judgments that lead to chronic stress. As such, it is a way to help reduce chronic stress, since it involves being free of any expectations or judgments about what we are going to feel or experience in the future.

We’ve all had fleeting moments when our minds weren’t agitated,

distracted, and racing all over the place. We were fully in the present. We weren’t fragmented. For a moment, we weren’t chronically stressed. This may have occurred while watching a sunrise or sunset, listening to the birds, listening to music, feeling the wind, going with the flow in some physical activity, or being at the ocean and smelling, seeing, and hearing the waves crash on the shore. Our senses were enhanced. We had a

feeling, if just for a moment, of being truly alive and integrated with the world around us. Even if we didn’t know it, in that moment we were practicing guan.

In Taoism the goal is to develop this perspective, increasing it from occasional mere glimpses to a regular occurrence. Interacting with the world and ourselves through guan is a process that must be developed and cultivated through practice. The aim is to make guan the norm.

It will take time to develop your guan. As you continue to practice regularly, it will become easier to implement and will start to become the norm rather than the exception. At that point your chronic stress will appear to be melting away.

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Practice Eating with Guan

When we eat, we tend to be engaged in multiple tasks in addition to eating. We may be watching TV, listening to the radio, engaged in a conversation, thinking about something, reading something, talking on the phone, working, or driving. Our minds are full and bouncing all over the place. The process of eating is on automatic pilot.

We aren’t ful y engaged with just eating. As a result, we aren’t real y aware of simply eating in the here and now. We are distracted and

fragmented.

In order to reacquaint yourself with your guan and start to culti-

vate it, the next time you eat something, try to eat with guan. Eating with guan means focusing solely on eating. Don’t engage in any

other activities while eating. Try to just observe, without any preconceptions, judgments, or biases, whatever occurs in your mind and

body as you eat. In a sense, you are a witness to your own eating.

As a detached observer, what insights do you discover about eating while you are eating?

Don’t worry if you find yourself getting distracted. For most

people, maintaining guan is a challenge at first. If you get distracted, simply acknowledge that this has occurred and return to eating. You may need to do this again and again. By nonjudgmental y acknowledging your distraction and returning to eating, you are beginning to train your attention and concentration. You are also beginning to develop guan. This will take time and practice. Let go of any frustrations that may arise about only being able to engage in the process for a brief period of time. This is normal.

Initial y, spend just five minutes applying guan to eating. For the remainder of the meal, you can return to eating as you normal y do.

If you want to go longer, that’s fine. If not, that’s also fine. You may find it challenging to practice for even one minute. Again, this is normal. Don’t dwell on any frustrations that may arise. This process is intended to help you learn about yourself and what you need to do to overcome your stress. Just trying this exercise will provide you with considerable insight about this.

When you’re finished eating, reflect on whatever you noticed hap-

pening in your mind and body as you ate with guan. Did you notice

a difference in how you felt when you ate with guan as opposed to

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how you felt when you didn’t? Record your experiences and thoughts in your journal.

As previously noted, to develop guan to help you gain insight into and reduce your chronic stress, you must practice on a regular basis.

The great thing about guan is that you can apply it to anything you do, wherever you are. Whether eating, taking a shower, going for a walk, washing the dishes, exercising, listening to music, watching it rain, or interacting with others, you can practice guan. During the course of your day, periodical y select an activity with which to practice guan for a few moments. Note what you discover about yourself.

You might wish to occasional y write about this in your journal.

Smiling and Meditation

There is an additional component of Taoist meditation that’s generally overlooked: smiling. When you practice the various meditation techniques you’ll learn throughout the book, make sure you smile while performing them. For that matter, throughout your entire day, whenever you find the opportunity to do so, remind yourself to simply smile. Notice how your feelings change immediately— how your mind empties, your

body relaxes, and your posture straightens. Observe that you are attentive and focused, your breathing is natural, and you are nonjudgmental and in the present. Be aware that, at least for the moment, your stress is gone. All from a simple smile!

Interlude

At this point, spend a few moments thinking about what you’ve learned up to this point in the chapter. Also reflect on what you experienced with the various activities and practices you engaged in. What did you discover? Remember, the Taoist path has two interrelated components: the mental and the physical. Both are required. The first half of this chapter focused on the mental; the remainder focuses on the physical component and your subjective awareness.