The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence (23 page)

Since that day, Autumn has begun a weekly yoga practice and walks for 20 minutes every day. She feels more confident and comfortable in her own body than she ever has. She’s having a great time moving her body and no longer feels intimidated by exercise. Instead she sees it as a chance to appreciate her body, relax her mind, and enjoy the entire experience.

HOW IS YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE IMPACTING YOU?

Like Autumn, many of my clients who resist exercise realize while tapping that they have become the victim of their own internal dialogue. As we’ve seen, when we think negative and critical thoughts while we exercise, we prevent ourselves from experiencing the pleasure of exercise.

Do you hear a nasty judgmental voice when you move your body? Imagine the last time you worked out or did some form of physical exercise. When you have that image in your mind, what are you thinking about? Do you hear a voice that says something like:

• You’re doing it wrong!
  
• You can’t even keep up.
  
• You look ridiculous.
  
• You’re too fat.
  
• You’re too weak.
  
• This is torture.
  
• There is no point.
  
• You aren’t “one of those people.”
  
• Just quit.
  
• You’re embarrassing yourself.
  
• Everyone’s staring at you.
  
• How did you let yourself get like this?
  

So many intelligent, kind, and loving women are walking around listening to their harsh and unforgiving internal voice telling them who they are—and who they’re not. When we use tapping, we can finally quiet that negative voice and give ourselves the love we’ve been showering on others for years.

Write down or circle the statement that best relates to you. Is there a particular emotion you feel when you think or say that statement? How true does that statement feel? Rate your answers by emotional intensity on a scale of 0 to 10. Simply giving a voice to your own fears can be incredibly effective. Here is a tapping script to help you do that:
Karate Chop:
Even though I’ve been judging myself when I exercise, I love and accept myself. (
Repeat three times.
)
Eyebrow:
This negative voice when I move my body …

Side of Eye:
It points out everything I’m doing wrong.

Under Eye:
It points out this discomfort.

Under Nose:
It’s hard to enjoy this process …

Chin:
When I’m trapped within the negative thoughts in my mind.

Collarbone:
I give these thoughts a voice now and let them go.

Under Arm:
“You’re doing it wrong.”

Top of Head:
“You can’t even keep up.”

Eyebrow:
“There is no point.”

Side of Eye:
“Just quit.”

Under Eye:
“Just end this misery.”

Under Nose:
“It’s too hard.”

Chin:
“You’re just not good enough.”

Collarbone:
“You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Under Arm:
“People are judging you.”

Top of Head:
All these voices in my head …

When the intensity of your initial tapping target is 5 or lower, you can move on to the positive.

Eyebrow:
I hear these voices …

Side of Eye:
But I can choose to believe these voices or not.

Under Eye:
These voices begin to sound silly.

Under Nose:
I am in control.

Chin:
I choose to listen to the one quiet voice …

Collarbone:
That says “I can do this.”

Under Arm:
I
am
doing this.

Top of Head:
I honor myself for showing up.

Eyebrow:
Releasing the need to be perfect …

Side of Eye:
I allow my body to move.

Under Eye:
I find peace within any discomfort.

Under Nose:
I am doing the best I can and that is enough.

Chin:
I am so proud of myself.

Collarbone:
I cheer myself on.

Under Arm:
With every step I take, I honor myself.

Top of Head:
I may not be perfect but I am unstoppable!

Take a deep breath and check in with how you feel. Measure the intensity again and continue tapping until you experience relief.

WHEN EXERCISE DOESN’T FIT INTO YOUR LIFE

When we’re unconsciously resisting exercise, the other types of beliefs we often adopt are about why exercise doesn’t fit into our lives. Instead of facing our internal reality (our beliefs and emotions around exercise and our bodies), we look to our external circumstances to explain why we don’t (and can’t) exercise. Although these beliefs are convincing at first, once we’ve used tapping to clear internal resistance to exercise, we find that our external circumstances easily adapt to our new desire to spend time moving our bodies. So let’s look at some of these common excuses.

I don’t have time.
As we saw earlier, before she did tapping on the deeper causes of her resistance to exercise, Autumn sincerely believed she didn’t have time for yoga class. Each time she said that, she offered long, complicated stories about the details of her schedule. She felt that those stories were proof that she didn’t have time for exercise. When we got to the root of what was stopping her from exercising, though, we found that fear and self-judgment were the real reasons she couldn’t find time for yoga class.

When we say we don’t have time to exercise, we are actually saying we don’t know how to face our internal reality. We don’t know what to do with the emotions, stress, and maybe also the memories that are fueling our tortured relationship with exercise. That’s where tapping becomes such a useful tool because it allows us to work through all of that far quicker and more easily than ever before.

We need to dig deeper and see what’s underneath our “I don’t have time” excuse. Take a moment now to ask yourself,
Why don’t I find the time to exercise?
When you imagine yourself exercising, do you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Do other negative feelings, voices, or memories come up? If so, what are they?

There are 1,440 minutes in a day, and all of us can use 30 of them to exercise. Some of the most successful (and busiest!) people in the world make time for exercise because they believe it’s essential to their success. What is blocking you?

I’m too tired to exercise.
We don’t exercise because we’re too tired, and we’re too tired because we don’t exercise. How can we break this nasty little cycle?

When we feel too tired to exercise, the idea that exercise will give us energy seems ridiculous. Sitting on the couch makes so much more sense! Although we may know and even believe that exercise increases energy, sometimes it’s difficult to overcome fatigue on our own. Sheer willpower works occasionally, but forcing ourselves to move only reinforces the idea that exercise is punishment. Instead, we can use tapping to increase our energy first, before we begin exercising. Often, stress is the source of our fatigue. Once we lower our stress, we find that we have more energy than we realized. (Trust me: it works! I still use tapping on days when I’m not feeling up to exercising and it’s just enough to get me out the door.) Here is a simple tapping script you can use to overcome fatigue when you feel too tired to exercise:
Karate Chop:
Even though I feel too tired to exercise, I accept how I feel. (
Repeat three times.
)
Eyebrow:
I don’t want to exercise.

Side of Eye:
I’m exhausted …

Under Eye:
And I have other things I need to do.

Under Nose:
I’m just too exhausted.

Chin:
All this resistance around exercising …

Collarbone:
All this fatigue …

Under Arm:
I just want to relax.

Top of Head:
I just want a break.

Eyebrow:
Maybe this can be easier than I thought.

Side of Eye:
Maybe moving my body can be the break I need.

Under Eye:
I’m open to making this easy.

Under Nose:
I’m open to making this fun.

Chin:
All I need to do is start.

Collarbone:
I soon experience the relief …

Under Arm:
And the energy I need.

Top of Head:
I am ready to go.

Pain and/or illness prevents me from exercising.
“I abandoned myself. Overnight I stopped doing all the things that make me happy,” Marci shared. Diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Hashimoto’s in 2007, she experienced such extreme fatigue that she stopped doing the biking, dancing, and yoga she had always loved. As the months turned into years, she gradually gained 50 pounds, which felt like double that on her small frame. Feeling heavy and ugly, she began telling herself that if she couldn’t do all of the yoga poses she once had, and if she couldn’t climb all of the hills in her neighborhood on her bike, there was no point in exercising.

After tapping on her stress, as well as her anger and frustration with her body, Marci experienced a huge shift. After years of feeling like she couldn’t exercise, she began to bike again and do daily yoga poses. Instead of seeing exercise as a competition with her physically fit, pre-illness self, she began to approach it as something that makes her feel good. No longer beating herself up for not being able to bike up the longest and steepest hills, she simply got off her bike and walked it to the top. Whether she was on her bike or walking next to it, being outside moving her body made her feel good. It was the first time since her diagnosis that Marci had been able to see herself as a woman who
has
a disease, rather than a woman who is her disease.

When we’re dealing with health issues, we often face very real limitations around what the body can do. While we may not be able to do everything, through tapping we often see that it’s the stress and emotions around our health issues that are preventing us from exercising. Once we’re able to accept our limitations and use tapping to clear the stress, emotions, and physical pain that our health condition(s) has created, we see that we actually can do some kinds of exercise. (There are even workout videos you can do while sitting in a chair.)

Tapping is very effective for pain relief, and my brother Nick Ortner focuses specifically on this topic. For free resources and other great products on tapping for pain relief, visit
www.TheTappingSolution.com/chapter9
.

When we are loving and patient with ourselves, we can create a new relationship with the body and the illness and/or pain that has been limiting us. Most important, we find that exercise makes us feel better, not just physically but also emotionally. Numerous studies have demonstrated the mental, emotional, and physical benefits of exercise, which include preventing diabetes and heart disease, increasing flexibility and energy, improving sleep, and relieving and preventing anxiety and depression. With tapping, physical limitations don’t need to prevent us from moving the body. Instead, our health issues become our greatest inspiration for exercising.

The Myth of an End Goal

Before I began using tapping to address my weight issues, I had always looked at exercise as a means to an end goal—weight loss. Every time I got on an “exercising kick,” I would get passionate about a new video or class at the gym, mark my weight on the calendar, and begin a food journal. As days and weeks passed, though, my fuel would run low. Before long I would stop exercising altogether.

Because exercise was what I thought people did to lose weight, when I saw physically fit women at the gym I’d think,
Why are you still here?
As far as I was concerned, they already looked great, so they no longer needed to punish themselves with exercise. Not surprisingly, every time I lost the weight, I would stop exercising and regain it.

After several years of this same pattern repeating itself, I realized that “to lose weight” wasn’t an empowering enough reason for me to exercise consistently. I began to question everything I thought about exercise and became curious about why some people successfully make exercise part of their daily lives.

The journey I’ve been on since has completely transformed my life. By changing how I relate to exercise and allowing myself to love it—not just the running I mentioned, but all different kinds of exercise—I have stepped into a new world where I feel strong and confident, energetic and beautiful. Although I still have days when I feel too tired or busy to exercise, moving my body has become such an important part of my life that I literally can’t imagine not exercising on a regular basis.

Why Exercise: Emotional and Physical Benefits

I have always believed in turning jealousy into curiosity, so for a time, whenever I saw someone on the street who was physically fit, I asked them what motivated them to exercise consistently. (Yes, I actually stopped strangers to interview them—I still do, about all kinds of topics.) After receiving answers from dozens of people, I couldn’t help but notice that none of them ever said “to burn calories” or “to lose weight.” Their first response was almost always about the emotional benefits they got from exercise. Physical benefits came second. Over and over again, people said things like, “Exercise helps me de-stress,” “It’s my time for myself,” or “I always feel better after I exercise.”