The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence (9 page)

To get a sense of how drastically our relationship to the scale has changed since then, imagine yourself willingly stepping on a scale in public, with dozens of strangers looking on. For most of us, that’s a living nightmare. Weighing ourselves became a private event in the 1940s when technology advances paved the way for the manufacture of smaller, in-home scales.

Since then, mass culture has slowly but surely brainwashed us into believing that thin means beautiful, happy, worthy, confident, capable, lovable, and successful. As a result, the number we see on the scale has gone from an interesting curiosity to a judgment on our value as women. We know on some deeper level that our worth extends beyond what we weigh, but we continue to place more importance on the number we see on the scale than on how we feel in our own bodies. How can we break this pattern?

First, let’s discuss the biggest myth about weight—the idea that your weight shouldn’t fluctuate. Biologically speaking, that idea has zero merit, especially for women. As your hormones fluctuate so does your weight, not just during your menstrual cycle but also when your stress level increases. That fluctuation is a natural and healthy process, not something you need to “fix.”

When we add in lifestyle factors and the effects of stress, the daily and weekly fluctuations you see on the scale become even more understandable. Here’s a partial list of factors that can cause the number on the scale to go up and down, from hour to hour, day to day, and week to week: Changes in diet

Constipation

Dieting

Eating close to bedtime

Eating foods you’re allergic to

Exercise

How much water you do or don’t drink

Medications

Menstrual cycle

Sleep

Stress

Supplements

Travel

When you last ate

When you last drank water or any beverage

What’s interesting is that the normal and healthy fluctuations in your weight don’t always occur in ways you would expect. For instance, as we’ve seen, when your stress levels rise, your levels of cortisol also rise. In excessive amounts cortisol can cause your body to retain water. Because dieting puts your body under stress, when you first begin a diet your cortisol levels rise, which may cause your body to retain extra water. So when you step on the scale in those early days or weeks of a diet, it may look like you’ve gained weight!

The same principle can apply to changes in the way you eat. If you begin gravitating toward vegetables and fruits more than you have in the past, your body will notice a difference and may initially retain water; it’s adjusting to these very positive changes in your eating and simultaneously preparing to lose weight.

I share all of this not so you obsess about what’s affecting the number on the scale but so we can have a more informed discussion about why the scale is such a misleading and self-destructive way to track weight loss. In so many ways the number we see when we step on the scale is meaningless. To break our addiction to the scale, we need to first understand that, and then talk about why it’s so hard for us to trust how our bodies feel. When clients say they feel lighter and their clothes are fitting better, why do they still insist on stepping on the scale?

RELEARNING HOW TO TRUST YOUR BODY

During our years of losing and gaining weight, many of us have come to mistrust our bodies. We’ve spent years resisting the body’s natural urges to eat and experience pleasure, and then we’ve tortured ourselves with guilt and shame when we give in to these positive and healthy urges. Over time, the bodies we live in become enemies conspiring to make us gain weight rather than things we love, respect, and care for. Given this mistrust we feel, our reliance on the scale as proof of our weight loss (or not) makes perfect sense. After all, how can we trust the way the body feels when it has been working against us for so long?

The scale, like the mirror, quickly becomes a sort of dictator. Based on whatever number appears, the scale tells you whether you’re allowed to have a good day, whether you’re allowed to feel happy, beautiful, and worthy. The problem is that not trusting your body and punishing yourself for a “bad” number ultimately make it harder, not easier, to lose the weight. Because you can’t trust your own body, you may feel stressed when you don’t step on the scale or when the number on the scale isn’t what you’re hoping for.

One of my students, Robyn, had a breakthrough about the usefulness of the scale in her own weight loss journey a few weeks into my online class:

Since week 1, I have thought about your “hide your scale” directive. I immediately liked the idea because I knew that if I was making some effort (in this case, tapping) and not getting results (the number on the scale going down), then I would be adding unnecessary emotional baggage to the pile of issues I already know I need to deal with around my weight and body.

This morning, I realized that NOT weighing myself is a better way to keep me accountable. By not weighing myself, I am supporting myself. I am holding myself accountable to my commitment to this class and to my own weight loss, and I have to say, it feels empowering. I love the feeling of doing something different! For once, I am not using my weight as a punishment but instead am freeing myself to actually do something good for me.

The scale is just a machine that’s designed to give you a very basic piece of information—what you weigh at one specific moment in time. It isn’t a judgment and it doesn’t predict what you will weigh tomorrow, next week, or next month. To begin ingraining that idea into your brain, let’s now do some tapping around your relationship with the scale and around relearning how to trust your body.

Karate Chop:
Even though I’ve allowed the scale to measure my worth, I love and accept myself and choose to take my power back. (
Repeat three times.
)
Eyebrow:
I can’t stop looking at the number.

Side of Eye:
It tells me how I should feel.

Under Eye:
It tells me if I’m being good or bad.

Under Nose:
I’ve lost trust in myself.

Chin:
So I trust in this scale …

Collarbone:
To tell me how I’m doing.

Under Arm:
I have to look at the scale.

Top of Head:
That’s the only way to know I’m “good.”

Continue tapping and even exaggerate your beliefs about the scale until they don’t feel true. Then move on to the positive.

Eyebrow:
I choose to take my power back.

Side of Eye:
Instead of checking in with the scale …

Under Eye:
I check in with myself.

Under Nose:
I’m aware of how my body feels.

Chin:
And I know what my body really needs.

Collarbone:
Calm and confident isn’t a number on the scale.

Under Arm:
It’s who I am right now.

Top of Head:
I choose to check in with myself instead of the scale.

Take a deep breath and check in with how you feel. Measure the intensity again and continue tapping until you experience relief.

The Power of Patience

When we get trapped in the pattern of panic, that’s a sign that we need to find ways to love and accept ourselves in the moment. By doing that, we can experience more joy in our daily lives, and as a result be more patient with the process of losing weight in a healthy and sustainable way. When we fall in love with the journey, we can more easily move toward our dreams and celebrate every step forward. Luckily, time flies when you’re having fun.

The true power of patience became clear to Gail early in her weight loss and body confidence journey. Having dreamt about wearing dresses for many years, she had always told herself that she would wear dresses when she could fit into a smaller size. While stuffing herself with food that didn’t make her body feel good, Gail was unconsciously depriving herself of a simple but important pleasure—the experience of wearing clothes that made her feel pretty.

A couple of weeks into my class, Gail shared some exciting news. She had bought herself several new dresses and now wore them often. They made her feel feminine, confident, and beautiful, and for the first time in many years, she didn’t hate her own reflection in the mirror.

Since beginning to look at the underlying issues of her struggle with weight and using tapping to clear her resistance to taking care of herself, Gail felt empowered around food. Without feeling deprived, she found herself choosing healthy, nourishing foods, eating less, and thinking about food less as well. The class had barely begun, and already Gail was getting incredible results—results that I knew would soon translate into noticeable weight loss.

Gail is one of thousands of students who have reaffirmed what I myself experienced—when weight loss becomes a pleasurable experience, we achieve the weight loss we desire, and so much more. Too many of us, like Gail, have made weight loss into the dream that must come before all others. We tell ourselves that until we lose the weight we can’t fall in love or start a new career. Until we lose the weight, we can’t appreciate ourselves, enjoy our lives, or wear clothes that make us feel beautiful. Because of weight, we put our lives on hold, often letting months and years pass us by.

When we can quiet the panic and practice patience with the weight loss journey, we open ourselves to the possibilities of the present. We begin to see that our lives can be amazing, inspiring, and pleasurable, not just after we lose the weight but now—
right now.
When we can enjoy the adventure, we arrive at the destination so much faster than we ever imagined and we have a blast doing it. This is the power of patience, and this is what I want for you, starting right now and continuing throughout your journey.

Once you’ve begun to quiet the panic, you’re ready for the next phase of the journey.
Part II
, which begins with
Chapter 4
, will help you learn about yourself; it will help you peel the onion and address any long-standing obstacles that have been preventing you from losing weight or feeling confident in your body. But first it’s time to do some tapping to unleash the power of patience for you, in your own journey of weight loss and body confidence.