“Gee, my hero.”
He looked at me indignantly, “Hey, I’m not going in there. You’re the one with the wand of infinite healing!”
He had a point. I hated his point.
I took a deep calming breath and moved cautiously forward. I made it about three steps before Dave said from behind me, “Finn, at this rate, it’s going to take you about three days to get there.”
“Shut up, Dave, unless you want to do this.” He shut up. I proceeded cautiously till I was about half way to the tents.
“Finn! Incoming! Duck!”
I dropped to the ground, and rolled to face my attackers. I searched wildly for any flying rainbows until Dave’s laughter penetrated my consciousness. I sat up and glared at him. To make matters worse, both Jim and Colette were there laughing with him.
“You jerk!” I stood up and brushed myself off only to realize I was still in my underwear, only now they were suggestively brown. I vowed never to wear white underwear again.
Between belly laughs, Dave said, “Oh my god, Finn, I wish you could have seen yourself! It was priceless.”
I did the only thing I could. I stumped over to my backpack rummaged around and pulled out a pair of shorts. Between the anger and embarrassment, I didn’t have room for fear. To make my point, I turned my back, pulled off my underwear and gave Dave the full moon. Of course that meant Colette got it as well.
She laughed as Dave screamed about his eyes.
With my red face safely hidden from the others, I got dressed in clean pants.
When it was evident that all was clear, I was joined by the others. We broke camp. We were traveling pretty light, so it didn’t take very long to clean up our mess and get ready to go. No flying piranhas or evil ivy attacked us, and soon I found myself relaxing and sneaking looks at Colette.
I envied Jim the show he must have received when he and Colette got out of the water. She was just as cute with wet hair as she was with dry. The image of her breasts before she dropped down in the water burned in my mind.
She wants to show you more than just her mammary glands
,
Finn.
I pleaded with Spring,
Please Spring, just drop it?
You know, I don’t know why you’re worried about your penis size. It seemed to work just fine for me.
Spring...
Hey, if it would help, I bet I could work on making it bigger!
“No!”
Everyone turned at my shout. I looked at them sheepishly then turned my attention to my feet and said, “Sorry guys. Just having an, uh, argument with myself.”
Spring laughed at me again.
Jim and Dave were somewhat used to this sort of thing by now. Sometimes I forgot I could just think to Spring, and then my friends were treated to half a conversation. They both knew about Spring, but Colette didn’t. We’d all kind of agreed we wouldn’t let anyone else know what had been going on with us. Nothing good could come of it, but right now, I really wished Colette knew.
The embarrassing moment passed without comment from Colette, and I made sure to avoid her eyes.
When we were ready to go, we hiked out past the Black-eyed Susans. We stopped and looked at them one last time. They just looked like regular flowers, all pointing roughly towards the sun.
Jim eyed the flowers. “I wish I’d gotten a better look at the pixies, but they disappeared after you and Dave ran off screaming.”
“Count yourself lucky,” said Dave.
“I suppose,” Jim shrugged his pack higher and said, “Come on kids, let’s get going.” He led the way, and the others followed. I paused for a moment wondering what was different about the flowers now. Why didn’t they act like they had before?
All the flower heads turned their black eyes to look at me. “Eek!” I jumped up and ran after the others.
We hiked back to the main trail, each lost in their own thoughts. When we got there, Jim turned left to continue our hike. I started to follow him, but Dave called out from behind us.
“Oh no, Jim, you’re going the wrong way!”
Jim stopped and turned back to Dave. “No I’m not, this is the right way.”
Dave walked up next to me as Colette came up on my other side. “That’s not the way I’m going. I’m going home.”
“What, why?”
He pointed his thumb and nodded his head at me. “It’s not safe hiking through the woods with this clown.”
I looked at my other companions. Jim looked amused, and Colette’s eyes narrowed.
She spoke first, “What do you mean Finn is not safe? Do you think he is responsible for the fairies and the ivee?”
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and wished I were in Kansas. I would have knocked my heels together three times if I thought it would help. I knew what Dave was saying was true. I carried the heart of Wendigota, aka the Caduceus, aka Finn’s Magic Stick, and because of that, the pixies were drawn to me. After I ran away, they went after Dave. He carried the bear totem, which held its own power, so it made a twisted kind of sense.
Colette spoke again, jolting me from my reveries. “David, what do you mean?”
Dave realized he was perilously close to spilling the beans. He shook his head and grinned. “Nothing, I’m just yanking Finn’s chain.”
It didn’t look like she believed him, but she let it drop. “So we are going to continue zen?”
Dave shifted from one leg to the other and said, “Look, after everything that’s happened, I just don’t want to spend another three days hiking. I’m going back, but the rest of you can keep going.”
In the end, we all headed home.
The four of us piled into Dave's car and then drove up to retrieve my car where we had left it in a parking area near the end of our planned hike.
Colette and I took my car back and Dave and Jim took the other.
I was a bit sad about having our hike cut short, but I liked the idea of spending more time alone with Colette.
Unfortunately, the odd events during the trip were sitting on my brain like a rock in my sock. I couldn't stop thinking about them or trying to move them to a less uncomfortable spot. Even worse, Colette soon let me know that the same rock was bugging her too. She turned to face me from the passenger side seat.
“Finn. What is happening with you?”
Oh crap.
I concentrated extra hard on my driving.
“What do you mean?”
“Finn, I am not blind nor am I an imbecile. I have never seen such things and it is obvious that they happened because of you. Where did those farees come from?”
“What?” I went for innocent ignorance. “I've never had that happen before either! I don't know any more about them than you do.”
“Do not give that look.”
“What look?”
“
You are a terrible liar.”
She's right. We need to work on that.
“I'm not lying!”
“And zen, when you are finished explaining this, you can tell me what it is you do with the patients at the Shady Oaks.”
“But...” I made the mistake of looking at her. Colette's pretty face was twisted into a ferocious scowl that hit me much harder than it should have.
“Crap.”
“Yes, it is the crap,” she agreed.
Don't do it Finn.
Come on Spring, what choice do I have?
You can keep giving her the old mushroom treatment.
She deserves to know.
Because you won't get laid if she doesn't?
No!
Uh-huh.
Screw yow. I'm going to tell her.
Uh-huh.
Shut up.
I tried to stuff my annoyance with Spring away.
I glanced at Colette, and told her everything.
After a long question and answer period, Colette and I traveled for some time in contemplative silence. Well, I assume her silence was contemplative. Mine was filled with a lot of snarking with Spring.
That ended abruptly as soon as we came back into cell range. Colette got about a dozen messages. After looking through them, she made several phone calls. She spoke in rapid-fire French, so I couldn’t understand what she said, but I could tell she was really upset about something.
When she finally hung up, I asked her, “What’s wrong Colette?”
“Pietro is dead.”
“Dead?”
“Yes, someone killed him.” I only learned later that someone had shot him in the head, execution style, before we’d left for our trip.
I could see that she was upset, so I pulled over and stopped. “I’m so sorry, Colette. What happened, do they know who did it?”
My first instinct was to lean over and give her a hug, but she pulled away from me. She leaned against the door, brought her legs up on the seat and wrapped her arms around them. After a moment of jaw clenching, she shook her head. “No. They don’t know who did it. He was shot in his room. The maid, she found him in the morning.”
“What can I do?”
“Please, get me back to my hotel, Finn.”
She looked haunted and angry, and I wanted to do something more, but it was clear she didn’t want anything from me, so I got back on the highway and drove.
The tension in the car didn’t allow for anything other than silence. The few times I tried to pull her out, she just scowled at me, so I let her be. I never imagined that she might be putting on a show for me. When we arrived at the Courtyard Marriott, she kept her distance and wouldn’t even let me carry her pack inside.
On Tuesday, when I showed up for work, Colette was there. I tracked her down to see how she was doing. I found her leaving a patient’s room, and she looked surprisingly chipper.
“Hi, Colette.”
“Bonjour, Finn.” We exchanged double kisses, and she said, “I would like to apologize for my behavior when you took me home.”
I waved it away. “Oh, it’s no problem. I understand.”
She smiled and said, “You are sweet to say zis, but I behaved badly. I would like to make it up to you.”
Woo Hoo! Tell her she can lube your pipes!
“Uh... sorry, what did you have in mind?”
“I would like to take you out to the dancing.”
A warm wave of excitement from Spring washed through me. She had been bugging me to go dancing forever, but I hadn’t been in any mood to take her dancing after she took us out to the new, and only, local nightclub, Trax, while I was asleep. I wouldn’t have even known about it if she hadn’t danced with a guy who had a jealous boyfriend and met the inimitable Max during daylight hours.
I could have predicted Spring’s reaction:
I’m in love!
Her excitement momentarily sparked my own enthusiasm. “I would love that.”
Colette gave me her perky smile and said, “Good! You can come pick me up tonight at my hotel.”
It struck me what I had just agreed to. The truth was, I danced like a rubber chicken. If she saw me “dance,” she’d never look at me again without laughing.
“Er, uh, tonight?”
“Yes, come and pick me up at seven tonight.”
“Okay, where did you want to go?”
Trax!
Not on your life Spring!
“I don’t know the city well; perhaps you can choose a nice place for us?”
“There is not much in town. We might have to drive to Columbus.”
“It is no problem.” She gave me her room number at The Marriott Courtyard again and we parted ways. Me to scrape another shadow and her to do whatever it was she did.
Come on Finn, let’s go to Trax!
No.
But, I love Trax!
As I mentioned, Trax was the club where Spring had done her moonlight dancing while I slept. A relatively new club, it was owned and operated by Max, whom you’ve already met. Spring had made me a regular there, and from the way Max always smirked at me, I had no desire to know the things he’d seen my body do while Spring was in charge.
I danced! Everybody thought I was amazing.
Spring, you made me dance in a torn up tee shirt and a Speedo.
You didn’t have anything else that was loose enough. Besides, other people there dressed like that.
I don’t care. We aren’t going to Trax. We’ll find something in Columbus.
Oh
,
poo. You never let me have any fun.
Hey, we’re going dancing. Be happy with that.
I am! I’m so excited. You have to let me teach you how to dance.
I didn’t like the sound of that.
Maybe.
I’m a great dancer
,
Finn. You want to impress her
,
don’t you?
I sighed. This wasn’t an argument I could win, just postpone indefinitely.
Come on, Spring, we’ve got some shadow scraping to do.
I found myself almost looking forward to it. Maybe I’d luck out, and it would eat me.
I had no clue about a good place to dance in Columbus, but I got a tip from a very unlikely place—my father. His pride and excitement that I was actually going on a date made me think he was beginning to despair that his only son was a complete failure with women—or gay. He recommended The Revari Room in Columbus near OSU. Apparently, he and my mom went there from time to time. He swore it was good dance music and not some place for old fogeys. I checked it out on Google. It got decent reviews, and it served eighteen and up, so we went there. On my dad’s further recommendation, we ate at a place next door called Hound Dog Pizza, which was fantastic, though Colette had a sandwich instead of pizza. Colette insisted on paying for the whole evening.
The Revari Room was smaller than I’d expected, dark and moody with brick archways. The place was packed, the music was loud, and so was the crowd. When we walked in, Colette got a glint in her eye.
She yelled into my ear, “It reminds me of Paree.”
That struck me as strange. Even after she’d told me about Le Marais, I’d always thought of Paris as reserved, quiet, and elegant. Shows what I knew.
Spring mirrored and amplified Colette’s excitement. The beat captured her, and all she wanted to do was move to it. I promised Spring that we would dance soon while we squeezed to the bar. Colette ordered a Vodka Tonic while I went all out and got a Coke. It annoyed me to think that when my dad was eighteen, he could legally drink. The world is going to hell in a hand-basket of good intentions.