The Ten Incarnations of Adam Avatar (33 page)

I said, ‘What I want from you, Marie, is less backchat and more cooperation.'

She rolled her eyes heavenwards. ‘Meanin I goan have to write dese letters and deliver dem too, eh?'

‘Well, I doan keep you here for your looks.'

She sucked her teeth, a sound the darkies made to express annoyance (though many white people did not even realize that was what the sound meant). I said, ‘You going to help me or not?' I knew she would, because she loved me. That was why I never gave her orders. And, sure enough, she came across and gave me a hug, ‘Course I go elp you.'

I cannot reproduce those letters, since they have been lost and were written by Anne-Marie. I told her what I wanted to say, but naturally I could not read what she wrote. She put my words into flowery phrases, which she got from some sonnets written by Master William Shakespeare. (Father had a collection among his books.) The first letter was quite short. It just told Edward that he had a secret admirer who had seen him riding through town and thought he was a very handsome gentleman. I said that I hoped he was unattached and unencumbered (thus allowing him the opportunity to explain himself) and would eventually consider returning my interest. Anne-Marie signed it, as I told her, ‘A Fair Lady'. She carried it to Edward's estate the following day; I gave her some money to bribe a house slave to leave the letter among his other correspondence, so he would think it had been delivered in the normal way. I would have liked for Anne-Marie to stay so she could spy on him while he read it, but we could not figure out a way to do so. The following week, we repeated the exercise. That letter described my own charms in some detail, though not so much detail that he would guess who was sending him these missives. The third letter spoke of how beauteous the dawn was, though, wrote Anne-Marie, the sun's brightest rays could not bring as much light into my life as did the merest glimpse of Edward's noble countenance.

Matters continued like this for some months, at the end of which time I was totally frustrated. I could not even know what Edward did with my letters. Did he put them to his face to absorb the scent I soaked the paper in? Perhaps the smell reminded him of the beautiful ladies of England, whom he had been forced to leave behind when he had rejected the attentions of a Duchess because he had sworn to wait for a woman he would love for eternity and the Duchess, enraged, had told her husband, the powerful Duke, that Edward had tried to rape her. Did his heart beat with excitement when he saw the blue ribbon with which I lovingly tied each small scroll? His first love had worn ribbons of that exact shade of blue in her hair, but she had died of scarlet fever and Edward still kept a lock of her hair in a locket and around the lock was tied a tiny scrap of that same ribbon. Did he place the letters lovingly in a drawer where he kept his most precious possessions? These included a miniature of his mother, who had been forced to give him up at birth to a peasant family because he was not fathered by her husband, but Edward had a document testifying to his noble birth, for his true father was a great King.

Of course, I realized that Edward might never have received my letters at all. The slaves we bribed might well have taken my coins and put the letters to the fire, thus earning coppers for doing nothing.

‘I want im to write me back!' I wailed to Anne-Marie.

‘Ah have a plan,' she said.

There was, she said, an abandoned shack in the forest, a few miles away from Edward's property. In the next letter, she could suggest he leave a reply in the thatch of the roof above the door.

‘But suppose the rain wets it!' I cried. ‘Oh, I couldn't bear it if his words to me were blotted!'

‘He must have sense to wrap it in canvas.'

‘True!' I exclaimed ecstatically. ‘He must have sense!'

No sooner said than 'twere done. Anne-Marie dropped off my latest missive, in which I told him that I did not yet wish to reveal my identity until I was sure he could be trusted (thus letting him know that I, too, had secrets – though of course I had not, save my letters to him – so he would know that he could trust me to keep his) but we could exchange letters by this method. I was sure that this situation appealed greatly to Edward's romantic soul, and that when my identity was finally revealed he would already be madly in love with me because of my mystery, eloquence and resourcefulness. So the letter was duly delivered – I actually gave Anne-Marie a whole half-crown to bribe the maid and had her risk staying until the maid reported back to her – and then the torturous period of waiting began. I was able to restrain myself for three days, then I told Anne-Marie to go and check. I had had a nightmare about a bird finding the package and pulling the string loose with its beak, thus scattering the precious pages within to the four winds. Anne-Marie was reluctant to go so soon, though.

‘Suppose im put a spy to see who pick up de letter?' she said.

‘They can't force you to tell,' I said.

‘No, but whoever watching might recognize me or might follow me back ere.'

I saw that she had a point. ‘So how we going to get his letter?' I wailed.

But Anne-Marie, as always, had a plan. She had me give her several coins, then bribed a slave to bribe a slave who bribed another slave to go and check the shack. Even if the slave picking up the letter was caught, he would not know who it was for. I found all this most exciting and, had Anne-Marie not been a nigger, would surely have kissed her.

Three days later, the slave brought a letter to Anne-Marie, who immediately ran into the dining-room where I was chatting with father. The instant I saw her shining eyes, I excused myself and we rushed up to my room, leaving father rather bemused. Sitting on my bed, I slit open the envelope and unfolded the single sheet of paper inside.

Edward's writing was clear and firm. For the first time in my life, I regretted not having paid more attention to my boring tutor, and I almost flung the page at Anne-Marie. ‘What does it say, what does it say?' I squealed.

She took it up and began reading. ‘He say...'

‘Doan tell me what he
say
! Read what he
write
!'

She sucked her teeth. ‘That is what ah trying to do.'

‘Well, stop trying and do it!'

She gave me a glance and I subsided meekly. Shaking out the page, she began reading. ‘Dear Fair Lady – I am, as you may imagine, extremely flattered at your kind attention, as well as the quite undeserved praises you have heaped upon me. However, it is not my habit to engage in anonymous correspondences so I would suggest we become acquainted at the earliest opportunity. Sincerely yours, Edward Henry Esquire.'

Anne-Marie and I exchanged blank looks. ‘What does ‘anonymous' mean?' I asked.

‘I dunno. What he mean he want to get ‘acquainted'? That is white people word for fucking?'

‘Edward would never say something like that!'

Anne-Marie frowned at the letter. ‘I think it mean im don't like getting letters from somebody im doan know.'

‘But he does know me!'

‘But im doan know he know you.'

I saw her point. ‘I am not ready to let im know is me yet.'

‘Why not?'

‘I have to find out im secret.'

‘You ent even know if im ave any secret. And if im fall in love wit you, im will tell you all im secret.'

‘I can't meet him till I'm sure there's a good chance of him falling in love with me. I want to be sure he won't laugh at me. He was laughing at me at the ball.'

‘So what you goan do?'

‘I'll write him back.'

Anne-Marie took out quill and paper and I sent back a reply saying that we would meet in good time but I begged his patience. Before she left to deliver it, a question occurred to me.

‘Anne-Marie?' I began. Even though I knew niggers had no morals to speak of, I was still somewhat embarrassed to ask.

‘What?' she asked.

‘Do you and Caesar...?'

She watched me wide-eyed. ‘What?'

I sucked my teeth. ‘Do you and Caesar fuck?' I said.

She grinned. ‘All de time,' she said, and left with my letter.

It was a whole week before Edward replied and he said that he would prefer to end this correspondence since he was sure I was married or an old hag or both. He had, he wrote, already warned his house slaves that the appearance of any more mysterious letters would result in all of them being flogged.

It was a great shock to find my game suddenly stopped, and I became furious with Edward all over again.

‘He think he can escape me so easy, he will have to think again,' I said grimly.

‘What you goan do now?' asked Anne-Marie, resignedly.

‘I am going to find out what secret Mr. Edward Henry is so anxious to keep hidden.'

‘I still dunno why you so sure dis man have a secret.'

‘He must have. What man who didn have a secret would stop writing a woman just like that?'

‘But...' Anne-Marie began, and I raised an imperious hand.

‘I know what I know, Marie.'

She shrugged. ‘All right. What you wan do?'

I told her. Anne-Marie was appalled and refused me outright.

‘A field slave?' she kept saying. ‘You want me to work as a field slave?'

I begged and begged and – so great was my love for Edward – even kissed her hand. Even then she did not budge. She had always been a house slave. House slaves were much better off than field slaves. They did not have to work in the hot sun, they ate the same food as their masters, they even wore good clothes. Most of all, they were close to the masters in a way a field slave could never hope to be. So I understood Anne-Marie's reluctance to become a field slave, even for a short period of time. But I could not, of course, tolerate her disobedience. I threatened to whip her, but she began to weep, which made me feel bad so I had to comfort her and say I had only said that because I was so anxious to find out about Edward. Finally, her sobs lessened and she said, ‘I go do dis ting for you on one condition.'

‘Anything,' I said.

‘Free me after.'

I was completely astonished. ‘Free you?'

‘Yes.'

‘You mean you want to be free?'

‘Yes,' she said.

I could not believe my ears. ‘I thought you liked having me for a mistress. I thought you were happy on Cohiba!'

I was very hurt.

‘I do. I am,' she said. ‘But I want to be free.'

‘But
why
?' I said. ‘You have a roof over your head, food to eat. I even gave you a gown to come to my ball!' My voice rose and cracked.

She shrugged, sullen like any ordinary nigger.

‘Get out!' I snapped and, without a word, she got up and left.

We did not speak for three days. At the end of that time I called her to my room.

‘Very well,' I said. ‘Work on Edward's estate until you find out what I need to know, and I will give you your freedom.'

She nodded, but did not speak. Her eyes were very bright. I said, ‘What you will do after?'

She bit her lower lip and said, ‘I want to be your lady-in-waiting.'

I tried not to smile, but I could not help it and, when Anne-Marie saw the twitching of my mouth, she immediately ran forward to hug me tightly. Somewhat to my surprise, I found there was a lump in my throat.

So Anne-Marie went to work on Edward's estate, bribing the driver to hide her when the bookkeeper took a head count. Before she left, she had me sign a paper promising to free her. I almost got angry again that she didn't trust me to keep my word, but she said suppose I had to elope suddenly with Edward because his enemies caught up with him and he had to flee the islands to go live in India, where would she be then? I saw her point and signed the paper.

It took three weeks for Anne-Marie to return and, when she did, she had a most curious tale. The head slaves always knew when their master was planning to go on one of his trips, because he always cleaned and tested his weapons – sword, pistol and rifle. Anne-Marie found out what day he was leaving and arranged to go down to Port Royal before him to see what he did. She waited on the docks, knowing he would be boarding one of the ships anchored in the harbour. But the Edward who left his estate and the Edward who arrived at Port Royal looked completely different. His hair was straw-yellow and his face almost entirely hidden by a beard of the same colour. Had it not been that she recognized his horse and saw his scar, Anne-Marie would not have known it was he. A rough-looking sailor had met him on the gangplank and Edward had greeted him familiarly. Anne-Marie, lingering nearby, had heard the sailor address Edward as ‘captain'. Edward went aboard and the ship weighed anchor soon after.

I sent Anne-Marie back to Edward's estate. She was reluctant, but I pointed out that it would look suspicious if she vanished from the estate for several weeks only to mysteriously reappear.

‘But ent you say all we darkies look alike?'

‘I prefer not to risk it.'

‘Oh, yes, is a great risk
you
taking.'

‘What you mean?'

‘Sitting dong here in your fine house while I sneakin around trying to find out bout yuh man.'

‘All you have to do, missy, is work on his plantation till he come back and let me know when he going on another trip. I will take over from there.'

‘You? What you gwan do?'

‘You go see.'

So said, so done. Anne-Marie ended up working another two months as a field slave. It was very hard on her. When she returned, her hands were roughened and her skin had become dark indeed. I felt sorry for her, but in the end 'twas worth it. Edward, she said, would be leaving in three days.

‘Then I shall go to his ship and await him,' I announced.

Anne-Marie's eyes became as big as pigeon's eggs.

My plan was simple, but effective. I would dress in my Sunday finest and present myself to the first mate of Edward's ship, explaining that I was the captain's fiancée and had been sent to collect some important papers from his cabin. Naturally, the mate would not be able to refuse a lady such as myself. Once I was in Edward's cabin, I was sure I would be able to discover what Edward Henry was really up to. Everything worked in my favour. Father was leaving that day on a long trip to Barbados. Mother confined to her room with fatigue, so I alone went to see father off. Anne-Marie came with us. Father sailed at mid-morning and I told the driver to leave and return for us in an hour. Surprised, he asked if I did not want him to wait, but I did not want him to see what we were up to in case word got back to father. So the driver left and Anne-Marie found Edward's ship which, she told me, was named the
Sea Maid
. She went to fetch the first mate, and I stood waiting at the side of a warehouse, my delicate nose wrinkled from the smells of dead fish, brine, molasses, tar, and other scents too numerous to identify. Eventually, Anne-Marie returned with a red-bearded man. I could see him taking in my elegant dress, parasol, gloves, hat and buttoned shoes.