The Test (6 page)

“You just stay right there!” My voice cracked
and I knew if this guy that I thought was my friend came any
further and crossed that line again, I’d fracture irreparably.

He held up both hands, stopping in his
tracks. “I would never have tried to kiss you if I didn’t think you
were into it.”

“Into it?” I repeated, still holding the
broom tight. “What the hell about us talking about my dead father
and Tolstoy made you think I was saying kiss me?”

He dropped back onto the couch like a sack of
potatoes. “I just thought...” His voice filled with anger. “Fucking
Sophia.”

“Sophia? What does Sophia have to do with
this?”

He didn’t answer at first, dropping his head
in his hands and slouching over like he wanted to disappear. When
he finally looked up at me, his cheeks were drawn, his eyes filled
with apology. “You don’t really think I’d force myself on you,
right?”

I slowly lowered the broom, feeling a little
guilty, but leaving the question unanswered. He still hadn’t
answered my own.

Blaine raised his chin, his green eyes still
washed with embarrassment. “Sophia and I dated for awhile. Back in
high school…and part of freshman year.”

Back when we were dating, his phone used to
light up like Xmas every thirty minutes. When I made a joke about
groupies, he’d sheepishly told me that it wasn’t like that. His
psycho ex never had a name, but Sophia’s truth or dare question at
Alicia’s party was hella convincing that she’d been the one who
couldn’t let Blaine go.

“She’s crazy,” Something in his voice told me
that was the understatement of the century. “I mean, you remember
the calls and shit. She doesn’t accept that we don’t make sense
anymore.”

“But you still talk to her,” I said
pointedly, like maybe he was a little crazy too.

“She has moments when she’s the girl I fell
for. Moments of lucidness or whatever. So we talk every now and
then.”

I propped the broom against the entertainment
center, but remained at a safe distance. “I still don’t get what
Sophia has to do with you making a move on me.”

“Well, I didn’t think it was unsolicited,” he
growled, face reddening. “From what Sophia said, you got all weird
when she said my name at some party.”

“I still don’t get how--” I stopped talking,
remembering the awkward game and her bizarrely specific truth
question.

Is it true that you and Blaine Connolly ended
things last semester because he’s still hung up on his ex?

I’d been taken aback, partly because I was
remembering stories Blaine told me about his ex and how the
slightly crazed sheen in Sophia’s dark eyes was unsettling. But it
was thinking back to our breakup and every breakup since Chance
that made me hesitate, not some deep, rooted desire to reconcile
with Blaine.

I met his hopeful gaze, feeling guilty all
over again because I was about to hurt him—and put any and all
chance that there would be anything more than friendship between us
to bed.

“You know you mean a lot to me--” I
began.

“Why do I feel like you’re breaking up with
me again?” he interjected bitterly. The hope had dissipated, but
there were still sparks of it in his voice. “We were good together,
you know. You said we were incompatible, but there was something
about our differences that made it work.”

I chewed on my lip, feeling dread knotting in
my stomach. The tick below my eye went wild. I didn’t regret our
time together and it was true—there were moments that he and I were
beautiful and passionate and he would smile at me and I’d feel that
tingle in my chest. But our story was done. I thought we both
agreed that it was best that we moved on, otherwise, I would have
never agreed to a friendship. I knew all too well how the very
sight or sound of someone you still cared about could cut. I didn’t
want to hurt him, or pour salt into the wound, but I had to be
direct so nothing could be misconstrued.

“We’re over, Blaine.” I said firmly, knowing
I might need to hurt him now to prevent any more pain. “I don’t see
you as anything other than a friend. I’m seeing someone and--”

“A teacher, right?”

I faltered, recovering too late but still
trying to hold up the ruse. “A teacher? Where did you hear
that?”

“You should leave the acting to theatre
majors,” he said coarsely, standing up and moving to the door. “And
you should probably go.”

I knew he was right. Things had gone from
kinda awkward to painfully intolerable. As embarrassing as I found
his advances, he had to find his miscalculation infinitely more so.
But he knew about Chance. I had a feeling that the same person that
told him I was still carrying a torch maybe told him about my
affair with a professor. I had to know for sure.

“Who told you?”

He opened his door. “I’ll see you around,
Cass.”

“Blaine--”

His face darkened and I could tell he was
close to not-so-nicely saying ‘Get the fuck out’. I pushed aside
the residual fear from the forced kiss and instead, focused on the
teddy bear I got to know beneath the hard ass image he put out for
the world. I walked up to him, my fingertips brushing the downy
hair of his forearm, not stopping until the hurt evaporated from
his eyes.

“We’re friends, right?” I said gently.
“Please.”

His jaw trembled, the harsh line of it
wavering. “Sophia told me.”

I thought confirmation would be a relief, but
it just brought up another question. Why would she tell Blaine
that? What did she have to gain?

He crossed his arms, giving me a knowing
chuckle that made my stomach clench. “Why?”

Oh no…“Yeah.”

“Because I told her I still had feelings for
you.” He stepped to the side, his voice tight as the knife sunk
deeper. “She wanted to hurt me.”

****

Alicia’s eyes narrowed to obsidian slits.
“Say that one more time. Slower.”

I stopped pacing for a moment, drawing a
shaky breath. “From the beginning?”

She folded her legs and assumed the ‘om’
position like she was in yoga class instead of rehashing my plan to
save Chance’s job. “I got the whole Chance being reported thing.”
She paused. “And thanks for not trying to pin that on me.”

I glanced away, remembering how I hadn’t been
100 percent sure she didn’t have something to do it. Luckily she
was too busy trying to piece things together to notice my highly
guilty non-verbal cues.

“And I heard the bit about Blaine assaulting
you--”

“Assault’s kinda harsh, Alicia.” I blushed,
feeling a bizarre need to protect Blaine’s virtue. Or something.
“He just kissed me and when I made it clear it wasn’t okay, he
stopped.”

“Right,” she said, waving a hand
dismissively. “My confusion is about the whole you inviting Sophia
Glendale to my house.”

Right.
That
.

“I don’t want to confront her about Chance
alone,” I explained slowly. “And if she pulls out the crazy, I’d
rather she not know where I live.”

“Cass!” Alicia hissed. “What the hell have
you gotten me into?!”

“I’m sorry I’m springing this on you, but I
really need you to back me up on this,” I pleaded. “I know you
could care less if Chance up and died, but I’m asking you to do
this for me.”

She swept her hair into a ponytail, giving me
her best exasperated scoff. “I don’t wish him dead because that
would make me crazy as the chick you invited to my house.” She
tugged a rubber band around the flaxen bundle. “So what is your
plan once she gets here?”

It was a good question…and a pressing one
since according to Sophia’s Facebook reply, she’d arrive any minute
now.

I’d been running on anger and adrenaline
since I left Blaine’s, pulling to the side of the road to plunk out
a message to her and waiting, white knuckled until she answered.
But now that that I had time to breathe and digest the fact she was
coming over, I had no idea what to say to her. I knew that Blaine
had been honest about the source of information, but she could
still deny it with the same self-satisfied grin she had on her face
when she thought she’d one upped me. What would I do then? Demand a
lie detector test? Beat it out of her? What was the point of all of
this, trying to get her to retract her statement, if she wouldn’t
even own up to any of it?

“I figured we’d just sit down with her
and…talk?”

Alicia peered at me. “Are you asking
me
?”

“It was a statement,” I said unconvincingly.
“We should ease our way into it…right?”

“Ease our way into accusing her of trying to
ruin your boyfriend’s career because she’s psycho?” Alicia shook
her head. “You really haven’t thought this out, huh?”

I trudged to her window seat and plopped
down. Suddenly scaling the wall and making a clean getaway was
preferable to what I was sure would be a highly unpleasant
confrontation.

Alicia scooted to the edge of her bed, making
figure 8’s in her pink woven rug. “Alright, we can do this.” She
made a clicking sound with her tongue, her equivalent to drumming
her fingers on a surface or stroking her chin as she plotted
something out. Usually, the sound drove me insane, but if she was
trying to figure out a way to help Chance, she could swing ‘Twinkle
Twinkle Little Star’ at the top of her lungs if it gave her
clarity. The sound stopped and I raised my chin, hoping inspiration
came to her, but her eyes were still locked on the corner, lost in
thought.

“I think you were right about needing to ease
her into it,” she said finally. She pushed off her bed and slid
into a pair of Rainbows in front of her desk. “I should probably
warm her up, talk about the new pledges or
Revenge
or
something that has absolutely nothing to do with the real reason
she’s here.”

“Okay,” I said, rapt. “Sounds good so
far.”

“Then I’ll casually transition into romance
territory and ask if she’s seeing anyone.”

And she lost me. “I don’t know if that’s a
good idea. Her love life is obviously a touchy subject. She tried
to embarrass me at your party and ended up embarrassing herself
with Blaine when she told him and he didn’t laugh it off. Or say
how he was still in love with her.” Even saying all of that made my
head spin.

Alicia turned to me, a conspiratorial gleam
in her eye. “I know Sophia. She’ll make a self-deprecating joke and
then shift the focus back on me. When I put the spotlight back on
her, she’ll make a snide comment about
your
romantic
situation.”

“I don’t want her to make a snide comment
about my situation,” I rebutted. “I want her diffused and
cooperative.”

“She went out of her way to find out who you
were dating, Cass.” She looked at me with sympathy bright in her
eyes. We used to binge on Lifetime movies when we were
procrastinating and I was the unlucky one of us who was currently
starring in one. “She had to have been doing some Nancy Drew type
of stuff to put it together. Hell, I’m your best friend and I had
no idea he was back in town or that yall were hooking up before you
came clean.”

I tugged my cardigan closed, goose bumps
running along my exposed skin at the thought of Sophia studying me
and following me around. “So she makes a comment about me and
Chance and is pissed,” I steered the conversation away from the
creepy. “That doesn’t change much since I’m pretty sure she already
knows I know something, because why else would I need to talk to
her ASAP? What we need to do is convince her to have another talk
with the dean.”

“I’m coming to that,” Alicia said, swiping
her gloss from the dresser. “So she’s getting all defensive and
that’s when you swoop in and appeal to her inner romantic.”

“Inner romantic?”

“Whether they want to admit or not, every
woman wants to believe in happily ever after. You tell her about
how you and Chance met, why you broke up and reconciled and it’ll
be like a freaking romcom without having to pay admission!”

“I don’t know,” I said hesitantly. “She’ll
probably have a reason to bring him down when she finds out he
cheated. I’m trying to make him redeemable, Alicia!”

“If you could make me dislike him a little
less, I think you can get her to reconsider.” Alicia propped a hand
on her hip. “And that’s my plan of attack. What’s yours?”

I glared at her, even though I knew she had a
point. And a plan. Mine pretty much ended after saying ‘Hello’. To
further tip the scales, the doorbell resonated through the house. I
had no other choice but to try it her way.

I stood up, wiping my shaky hands on the
front of my jeans, hoping that a few deep breaths would rid me of
the nausea tap dancing in my gut. It didn’t. And when I saw my
reflection, my nervousness tripled. I looked like I was marching to
my execution.

Alicia did a double take as well, launching
her body in front of the door. “You are not going to go down there
like that or we can just throw in the towel now.” She led me back
to the vanity and pulled out a drawer, wielding blush and a bit of
gloss.

“But she’s outside--”

“Bitch can wait.”

Alicia didn’t take no for an answer, raking
blush on my cheeks. Her blue eyes narrowed in concentration as she
masked my nerves. When I looked at myself again, I could barely
tell that I was frayed around the edges.

The bell sounded a second time and Alicia put
her hands on my shoulders, giving me a steeled, determined
look.

“You’ve got this,” she said firmly. “Say
it.”

“I-I’ve got this,” I repeated, over and over,
as I followed her down the stairs, hoping that eventually the words
would sink in or at least I’d portray an edge and confidence I
didn’t feel. As she pulled open the door, something Chance said
came to mind.

We don’t have a damn thing to be
embarrassed of
.