Authors: Nadja Notariani
She didn’t fight to get away any longer knowing it pointless, her panic abating. She was alive. She felt like herself – Paige - shy, bookish, boring Paige. Her mind refused to accept what he told her, and she wanted to wake up.
That’s it! I’m dreaming again!
The idea that she would awaken in her own bed, alone, that all this would be little more than a bad memory by lunchtime set her at ease. She’d been having absurd dreams for weeks, this just another.
Lass, this is no dream. I’m here with ye. I’ll be here as long as it takes to convince ye. Ye have bonded to me, and I couldna leave ye. I wouldna leave ye. Ye need me as I need ye.
The words played over and over in her mind. And the words he’d spoken afterward explaining what was to come, how she’d change, that they belonged to one another – were made for one another. She tossed and turned restlessly, the duality of her thoughts pulling her in opposing directions. She’d never felt the way she did with Cael. It was as if they’d known one another a lifetime, akin to what she’d heard about soul-mates. He was passionate about books and learning and history. He didn’t enjoy going out in crowds, preferring a quiet evening at home. He fit her the way a second half was supposed to.
He was crazy; he’d bitten her.
She had bitten him. She wanted to again.
A scream started, and Paige sat straight up in her bed. Eyes darting around the room, chest heaving, she realized she was alone, Cael’s absence a welcome relief.
And painful…mourned.
She wouldn’t think of that now. After what happened, or at least what she thought had happened, Paige could not see Cael again. Something made her too susceptible to his charms, too needy for his touch, too willing. She might not want to be alone, but she wanted to be safe. Cael Maccinnis was anything but safe. The tingling in her neck reminded her just how unsafe he was.
And how delicious.
Paige would never allow herself to love deeply enough to be hurt again. She had lost too much. Her parents, then Jake, had been taken from her, and none of it had been in her control. She’d sworn never to give up that kind of control again. Boring, yes. But at least she held the cards. Never again would her world be ripped from her in the blink of an eye, leaving her devastated, helpless, and alone. And to ensure that, Cael could not be a part of her world. She’d have the memories, and that would be enough. It had to.
The phone pulled her from her reverie, back to the predictable patterns of her life.
“
Good morning, Brooke.”
Endless chatter ran together, and Paige could hardly determine whether her cousin was frantic or giddy.
“
Slow down! I can barely make out what you’re saying.”
Paige held the phone out from her ear, not believing what she was hearing.
“
Really? When? How am I supposed to get time off work so quickly?”
The string of words spilling from Brooke’s mouth was overwhelming, exciting, and downright impossible. Sissy had booked them all a getaway. They were to leave Friday evening. Paige set the phone on her bed-table and flung herself back against the pillows, laughter bubbling up. This was just the thing to divert her attention from Cael Maccinnis and all the strange things happening since meeting him. Two weeks away would give her time to think. Time to forget. But the thought of being away from Cael, not seeing him, not touching him, haunted her.
Dragging herself from the bed, Paige headed downstairs to start her morning routine. Thursday meant long hours at the library, so she packed a hearty lunch while the aroma of brewing coffee wafted through the air. Busily focusing on the tasks at hand, Paige forced down the nausea that built by the minute, toasting a single slice of bread in hope of settling her queasy stomach. After a few sips of coffee and bite of toast she rallied a bit, brightening the day’s outlook considerably. A brisk walk in the crisp morning air set her mind more at ease, and by lunchtime Paige felt almost normal.
“
Has the university collection been pulled, Miss Kinnell?” Barbara Ross questioned. “It must be delivered before the close of business today.”
“
It’s no trouble at all, Ms. Ross. Diana and Ruth are pulling the selections right now. Is there anything special you’d like me to add…”
Her voice trailed off as she hunched over the desk, gasping for breath and clutching her stomach.
“
Miss Kinnell! Are you well?”
Paige knew she must have frightened her boss, for Barbara Ross did not inject emotion into her speech. Ever.
“
I think so,” she said shakily. “I had a stitch in my side, but it’s going away now.”
Ms. Ross came near.
“
Are you certain you’ll be able to complete the collection’s distribution? I can ask someone to handle it for you.”
“
Of course. Really, I’m fine now,” Paige smiled faintly.
After a few more minutes of assuring, Barbara Ross reluctantly allowed her to remain at work, but insisted she go home at once if she continued to feel ill.
Sitting at her desk to double check each title selected for the collection, Paige gathered the paperwork necessary and watched as each title moved to the checked-out column. She wanted Diana and Ruth to finish quickly, for she was deteriorating by the minute. A sheen of perspiration formed on her skin, her teeth chattering intermittently. One minute heat rolled from her, setting her cheeks aflame. The next she wrapped in her coat. All she wanted was to head home and collapse in her bed, but she had to finish. This was the first time Barbara Ross had entrusted her with a project so large – and not supervised her every step of the way. She wanted to prove that she was ready and capable of handling the responsibility. No excuses. No mix-ups.
It’s the Awakening, lass. Ye shouldna be alone. Ye need me.
Paige pushed the thought away. Ignoring it, she pressed through the day, determined to beat whatever bug she’d picked up. When seven o’clock rolled around, her delight at being free to go waned as she thought of getting herself home. Before attempting that feat she had to approach Barbara about taking time off. She had plenty of vacation time saved up; that wasn’t the problem. Lately her boss had been giving her more responsibility within the library, and she didn’t want to jeopardize the obvious trust building between them, but she had to get away.
A blue-eyed Highlander demanded it.
Hard as she tried to prevent it, her thoughts turned to him. Her mind reached for his, needing, hungry. The remembrance of his blood on her tongue sent desire spiraling before nausea supplanted all else. Quickly, she filled out the vacation time form. Placing it on Barbara Ross’ desk, Paige hurried away.
She’d done it.
There was no turning back. She’d set her course for better or worse. If she remained in the city, she’d be in the arms of Cael Maccinnis again.
Anna Kinnell prayed for guidance. Paige was changing, and she could do nothing to prevent it. Anna had bargained after the child’s birth, blindly surrendering Paige’s first Fate, desperate that her niece never live as one of the undead. Perhaps she’d been tricked. The Fates were notoriously fickle; their childlike reasoning eradicated all chance of mere mortals imagining the ways they might renege on their word.
Debating which path to follow, Anna had booked the vacation to separate Paige from Cael Maccinnis. Anna suspected meeting him had started Paige’s Awakening. Anna knew better; it was his bite, and once bitten Paige would in turn crave blood. She would be lost to them. Paige’s mother wouldn’t have seen it this way, but Anna did. A vampire’s bite had taken her sister, now it was laying claim over her niece. Anna determined to prevent Paige’s turning into the undead. Like her father. Therein lie the problem. Malcolm, an ancient, may have influence among the Fates - and that influence could save Paige. Anna pondered whether Malcolm would help her, or if, like other vampires he would see Paige as a threat.
Knowledge of magic exhausted, Anna had only two options before her. Risk facing the Fates again in the hopes of their intervention, hoping a worse fate wouldn’t befall her niece, or seek Paige’s father and beg his mercy. Neither appealed to her, and time grew short.
*
Cael cursed the light. Two full hours remained before he could return to her.
I never should have left her.
The coven house offered protection during the day, and Cael needed a place to lay low until night fell. The dream had come again, a premonition of Paige’s death. How or why her future played in his mind, he could not explain. But he had to reach her. She would die if he failed, and a part of him would die with her.
Cael cursed himself as well. Why he had given her a say in the matter was beyond him. He knew best, yet foolishly accommodated her wishes for fear of overwhelming her. The cost of his folly could be her life. Memories of Rose McAllister’s untimely death came back with clarity. Absorbed with her, her parties, her festive nature, he never saw the warning signs that danger loomed. They’d celebrated excessively in the night, too much so, for he never heard her leave their bed. In those days Cael thought little of responsibility. The next good time to be had monopolized his interest. Rose was a young vampire enjoying a tryst with an ancient like himself, living it up while it lasted. Neither of them felt the bond, but they enjoyed one another’s company.
And the drinking…and the sex…
Rose, for being one of the undead, exuded life, reveling in each moment with delight and attention to the smallest pleasure. Her love for living re-ignited a spark long missing from Cael’s existence. He’d never forgiven himself for failing her. She died that morning, left to burn in the sun - alone. He always suspected they had become too prominent within young vampire circles, too popular. The simplest way to ensure that Cael stayed where he was supposed to, in the shadows until he came around to the other ancients’ way of thinking, had been to remove the thing inspiring him. Rose.
He’d loved no other since, had trusted no one implicitly. To think differently from the Council, to discredit their hierarchy as antiquated and feudal in application, to dare to speak out against them was to invite tragedy. Those in power want to remain in power. Natural born vampires wanted to maintain their position of status within the vampire community. To ensure that, they promulgated the myth of their superiority over changed vampires. They also had to guarantee that no half-born survived.
Sick dread filled Cael’s gut at the thought. Once again the Fates had entrusted him with the life of another, and once again he allowed his instinct to be overruled. It would not happen again. If his hesitation to act caused Paige’s death, he would seek the sun, life without her unthinkable. Paige was half-born, and therefore in danger. Analyzing the visions of his sleep, Cael prepared to prevent Paige’s death.
As the hours played out Cael relived each moment of the dream, trying to capture the details in his memory. The events of the tragedy surrounded travel, the hazy image of an airplane flickering in his mind’s eye. Whether the airplane was the means to her end not revealed to him. Armed with this information he decided to take Paige to the Highlands using magic, highly irregular and fairly dangerous with one not fully changed, but a risk worth chancing.
Introspection continued until the sun sank low enough that he dared risk exposure. Hiding all evidence of research on half-born vampires and Druid magic, Cael readied to go to Paige. Tonight he would abide no refusals; Paige was coming with him.
*
The sharp rap on the front door startled her even though she’d been expecting, preparing for it all day. Summoning her resolve, Paige breathed deeply. She was not going downstairs, would not answer the door, could not allow herself to fall into his arms.
Cowardice filled her along with guilt. Ignoring him was cruel, but if she laid eyes on him, if he touched her, even once, her resoluteness would dissolve. Cael held a frightening power over her, and after the insanity last night Paige needed time alone. She doubted her lucidity at this point, and staying away from him seemed the wisest option. Burying her head under the covers, Paige tried to drown out the pained confusion in his thoughts.
Lass, what are ye doin’? Let me come to ye…
She didn’t respond. Hard as it was, she knew it was for the best. Cael would get over her. He was smart, kind, gorgeous.
He was a vampire.
He could have any woman he wanted.
I doona want any woman, Paige. It’s ye I want.
Tears filled her eyes. Spilling them onto the pillow in pitiful abandon, Paige cried the tears she’d kept hulled inside for years. Tears for the mother she never knew. Tears for the father she was denied. Tears for Jake, who had been such a wonderful person. And now tears for Cael Maccinnis. She loved him already, and that’s why she had to let him go. The thought of bearing another loss frightened her as much as vampires, or this supposed Awakening.
Maybe it was the strong emotions roiling inside her, maybe what Cael described as her Awakening, but pain seized her anew, and she was helpless beneath its cruelty. Everything faded to black as she huddled further and further inside herself, locking out the insidious pain. No longer did she cry. No more did Cael’s entreaties to let him in bombard her mind. Only the pain. In turns through the night she writhed in agony and battled the severe nausea, falling into the sleep of exhaustion during each reprieve. When morning’s light wakened her, Paige sat up, head aching slightly but feeling much better. No Cael in her thoughts, no pain. Tentatively, she stepped out of bed, testing the truth of what she believed to be so, and when her legs supported her ably she shuffled to the shower.