The Ties that Bind (The Forever series, Book Five) (13 page)

“Xerxei, I presume,” CK says from the doorway.

“Yes.”

“Beautiful as always. But Shift back if you don’t mind.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” he snaps.

“I mean, I can’t. I tried but I can’t do it,” I say woefully
and he is at my side in a flash.

“Try again,” he says.

I do try again. But nothing. “I can’t,” I say again.

“You mean you are stuck this way?” he asks in disgust.

I frown at his words “stuck this way.” “Seems so. For now.
Not to your satisfaction I see,” I add nastily as I stalk off to get dressed.

“Aefre,” he says, following me. “I am just concerned.” He
grabs my arm, turning me to him. I can see his overly concerned features and I
sigh.

“I know. So am I. But tell me what I want to hear,” I say
quietly, needing his approval, his validation.

His eyes soften as he looks at me, knowing my concerns. “You
are beautiful,” he tells me again, pulling me even closer. “So beautiful and
very sexy,” he murmurs against my lips. “I love you,” he kisses me.

“You think I am very sexy?” I say.

He gives me a thorough once-over, eyes lingering in all the
right places. “Very,” he says as he focuses on my breasts, before sweeping his
gaze up to my eyes.

I smile slowly and a Shift occurs. Not that I get back to my
natural form, but my eyes change. He raises his brow at me and I look in the
mirror. Blue. A bright piercing blue that seems to belong to the House of
Dracul. Great. Now I fucking look like Xane and his entire family.

CK sighs. “He won’t be able to stay away,” he says to
himself.

“Oh, baby. Don’t worry about him,” I say, not wanting to
discuss Xane. I turn from him and get dressed the magickal way, only I can’t.
So I turn to the closet and sift through, trying to find something out of the
few clothes I brought that will fit this form. I land on a tight black catsuit
that still fits length-wise--just--but is tight over my breasts. I pull the zip
down to ease the pressure and my huge tits almost spill out of the outfit. “We
should go downstairs.”

I turn back to face him and his eyes are on fire. For all
his petite green-eyed blonde preference, he clearly also has a thing for
taller, blue-eyed, black-haired, large-racked women. Oh shit. Devon is going to
freak. This thought must pass across my face as he says, “Devon will want to be
with you tonight. Just come back to me when you are done.” He walks away from
me, but I don’t let him get very far.

“Hold on a minute.” I grab his arm as he did me as he enters
the sitting room. But what I was going to say gets left unsaid as we are
greeted by Sebastian and Vivienne. They both stare at me, clearly wondering who
the hell I am and then look to CK who shrugs. “It’s Aefre. Or better yet,
Xerxei.”

Sebastian’s eyes nearly pop out of his head as he looks back
to me and whistles. “Christ, Liv. You look amazing,” he says in admiration.
Vivienne, now completely healed, just glares at me with open hatred. I glare
back and she adjusts her features and steps back lowering her eyes. Finally!
Some fear. It’s about bloody time. I am smug then as I look back to Sebastian,
“Thank you.”

“Any reason for the Shift? Or just to show us how stunning
you are?” he sidles over, giving me the same lingering once-over that our sire
did.

“Back off Sebastian,” CK says quietly. “She may be Xerxei,
but she is still mine.”

He holds his hands up, “I’m only looking. You would have to
be blind and a eunuch not to stare.”

Flatterer. I am glowing under his compliments, and all is
truly forgiven. “I Shifted earlier. She is staying for a while,” I say, not
particularly wanting to admit to him and especially Vivienne that I can’t Shift
back.

“Well, I can’t say that I’m not disappointed that we no
longer look similar, but you are smoking hot. And very bad ass,” Sebastian
says.

“I do look bad ass, don’t I?” I agree.

“Shall we go?” CK says now, getting pissed off.

I nod. “Yes. I hope the boys ordered food. I’m starving,” I
say and stop traffic.

“Food? You are hungry for food?” CK says now, almost in
disgust.

“Yes. Food. You know that you eat? It is the strangest
feeling. I can’t remember what it felt like to be hungry.”

“And your other needs?” he asks in dread.

“Gone,” I whisper and he looks pained. “I am not a Vampire
now. I am a Demon. I don’t have fangs,” I say. My fingers go inadvertently to
my top teeth.

He couldn’t look more upset if I told him I never wanted to
see him again. I take his hand in a conciliatory gesture. Although why I feel
the need to apologize is beyond me. He laces his fingers tightly in mine as if
he never wants to let go and returns once more to our fearless sire.

“Well, let us go and see the others. I am sure we can
arrange to have some food sent up if needs be.”

We four head downstairs, not thrilled to have Vivienne as a
part of our little set, but she and Sebastian seem close now. We enter Devon’s
suite and all eyes land on me, of course, my hand still gripped by CK, so it is
assumed I am me.

“Liv?” Lincoln asks.

“Yep,” I say almost embarrassed.

“Wow! This is a change. Can I ask why?”

“Everybody, this is Xerxei,” CK grumbles to raised eyebrows.

Lincoln is looking at me like I just fell from the moon and
Devon is gaping at me, the adoration clear in his eyes. “Holy crap. Your Demon
self?”

I nod, “Yes.”

“You are…” he falters under CK’s baleful glare.
“Unexpected,” he says.

“Indeed,” my sire agrees. “She’s hungry,” he barks at
Lincoln and Scott. “Get her some food.”

“Food?” three voices ask in confusion, but then they jump to
it as Constantine gives them his most menacing look.

Lincoln looks delighted as he piles a plate high with room
service and hands it to me. “I have wanted to feed you up since day one. You are
way too skinny.”

I blush and take it from him and eat for the first time in a
thousand years because I am hungry. It tastes heavenly but I am fully aware of
everyone’s eyes on me.

“Please don’t stare,” I say. “It’s disconcerting.”

Everyone stops staring and avoids my gaze, except Devon, who
sidles over and whispers he wants to see me.

“Sure,” I say, knowing exactly what it is he is after. He
leads me to the second bedroom and closes the door with a thump. I sense the
disapproval through the closed door but don’t have much chance to worry about
it as he is on me like a fly to honey, pushing me up against the door,
unzipping the catsuit and freeing my breasts in one swift move. “Oh god, Liz.
You are so hot,” he whispers in between kisses. “I want you,” he picks me up
and I wrap my legs around him. He moves to the bed and drops me gracefully on
to it as he removes my shoes and pulls down the rest of my outfit. His eyes
roam hungrily over me as he gets rid of his own clothes and within seconds he
is on top of me, kissing me and touching me. “I need you.”

I know he does. I know he needs me, this, us. He is going
through the worst time right now and it is part of the reason I have let him
take me so blatantly.

I roll us over and thrust myself onto him as he groans and
grabs my hips roughly. I move quickly over him working us both up into a
frenzy. He sits up and roughly pulls my head to the side, “Can I?” he murmurs.
I nod and he bites down straight into my neck. He pulls back, breathless. “God
you taste so good,” he says before biting down again, even harder. My top teeth
are aching, wanting to bite him too but I don’t have fangs. I have no way of
tasting him and it is killing me. Well, my mother wants me to be less of a
Vampire and Xerxei is determined to make her presence known, but I
am
a
Vampire. It is who I am. I live for the bite, the blood, the intimacy of
sharing this with those that I love. I try to Shift back again knowing that
Devon will be disappointed but it still doesn’t happen. We both come at the same
time and it feels different. It’s not the same and I am sad, fearful that I
will never get my Vampire back. I kiss him deeply, trying to find the
connection, the bond we have, but it isn’t there and I start to panic. I
remember what my mother said: ”If you choose him, be prepared to lose the ones
you love.” I didn’t know exactly what she meant then but I do now. If I choose
to be with Xane, to be a Demon, my Vampire bonds will cease to exist. I am not
Devon’s sire. I am not Constantine’s charge. I am not a Vampire.

I need to Shift back and I need to do it now. But I can’t.

Shit, Cole! He is probably feeling the effects of this. I
need to get to him. He can’t survive without me as his sire.

My panicked look causes concern for Devon and he says, “I
know. I don’t feel it either. You need to Shift back.”

I shake my head at him. “I can’t,” I whisper. “I’ve tried
but I can’t.”

“Can’t?” he repeats, his worry increasing tenfold now. “Liv,
you have to.” In his own panic now he reverts to calling me “Liv” and that makes
me even more concerned.

“I need to get to Cole,” I say as I climb off him and get
dressed. “God knows what he is feeling now.” I stalk out of the bedroom to a
room full of avoiding stares. I jump a mile when there is a banging on the
door.

“Liv!” a voice shouts. It’s Cole. I am at the door in a
flash and yank it open.

“Cole.” I fling myself into his arms but he pushes me away
giving me a “who the hell are you?“ look.

“Cole. Baby. It’s me,” I say to him and he looks twice.

“Liv?” he asks incredulously.

I nod. “Well, Xerxei, actually. But yes, it’s me.” I push
him out into the corridor and grab his hand. I head for the stairs and take
them two at a time, dragging him up with me as I push open the door to our
suite. “Are you okay? What are you doing here?” I ask him in concern. He pulls
me closer to him and kisses me but then stops as he inhales deeply and mutters,
“Devon.”

“Sorry,” I mutter back. “I will go and get showered.”

“No, it can wait,” he says. “I need to be near to you. After
you told me about Devon I had to come. I knew you would be in knots about it.
And him,” he adds as an afterthought. “I just told them I was coming and I’d be
back Monday and it was tough shit if they didn’t like it.”

I love his boldness. “Well I am glad you are here. But tell me,
how do you feel?”

“Like crap,” he admits. “I was fine until I got on the plane
and then I just felt…alone. Completely alone. Abandoned,” he whispers. “I
didn’t know if it was because you were so far away or if something had happened
to you. I tried to call but I couldn’t get through from the plane’s phone. Then
my cell battery died so I just rushed straight here from McCarran. I ran into
Nico downstairs and he told me where you all were.”

“Oh Cole, baby. There is something I need to tell you.” I
explain my tale of woe to him and he is trying not to panic as am I but we both
seem to fail miserably.

“No longer a Vampire? That means you are no longer my sire,
Liv. What does that mean exactly, for me? For us?”

“I don’t know,” I touch his face, expecting a charge like
reaction, but there is nothing. Shit.

An insistent knocking on the door distracts me and I go to
open it, more for time to think than out of a need to know who it is.

“Xerxei,” Xane says as he steps into the suite, “I knew you
would come.” He leans down to kiss me and I put a hand to his chest as Cole
barks, “Get your hands off my wife.”

Xane looks up and acknowledges Cole for the first time,
although I am sure he knew he was there all along. “Your wife? You must be
Cole. I am Xane.”

“Yes, I have heard about you,” Cole says unpleasantly.

Xane just smiles in response and his eyes return to me.

“Xane, I have an issue. I Shifted earlier inadvertently and
I can’t Shift back. I am no longer a Vampire and it is destroying my bonds. I
need to get back to the real me.”

“Maybe this is the real you,” he says slyly.

“Xane!” I snap. “This is serious.”

He sighs, “You say you are no longer a Vampire? At all?”

I shake my head.

“It may be that for all your mother’s wishes your Vampire
self is the strongest part of you. The part you need to be whole. It may be
that the wards are preventing you from Shifting.”

I stare at him, it makes perfect sense, “Are you saying that
somehow I have lost my Queenly ability because I am not a Vampire anymore?” I
ask. His insight is pretty helpful.

“Have you tried to do other magick?” he asks.

“I tried to magick up an outfit, but I couldn’t. I thought I
was just tired.” I try to Astral and nothing. “I can’t Astral.” I try to light
the candles and still nothing. Cole steps closer.

“You need to get out from behind the wards and try.”

“I have a house not far from here that isn’t protected,”
Xane says, grabbing my arm. “Come.” He Astraports me out as I yell to him,
“Wait, Cole….” but it’s too late, we are standing in the sitting room of a dark
house a few miles away from the hotel.

“For fuck's sake, Xane. You cannot just exclude my husband
like that. And how come you can Astraport?”

“I still have your blood running through me. Your original
blood. I am still a part of you.”

Well that just smacks of unfair that he gets to keep his
advanced Powers while I get weaker. He steps closer to me and gazes down at me.
“Don’t change back. Come back with me to The Underworld. We can be together,
just the two of us. As we are meant to be,” he whispers.

“No, Xane. I can’t. This isn’t me. I am not Queen like this
and I cannot, will not, abandon the men that I love just because you ask me
to.”

“I love you,” he says. “I love you.”

“No, Xane. It isn’t right.” I step back and try to Shift.
Thank heavens it works and I am Liv again. I adjust my outfit accordingly,
going for my trademark black mini and backless halter top.