The Toll (66 page)

“
I think I know why you
stopped coming to visit, even if only to see him.” My hands stayed
busy as I spoke, working steadily. “You didn’t trust yourself
anymore, did you, around us? And you didn’t want to hurt us, either
of us.” Ripping off a piece of sheet, tearing it into smaller,
manageable pieces, I tossed them into the basin. “I don’t think
you’re all gone, not yet, and I refuse to let you just roll over
and accept defeat.” They landed with a splash as I kept up my one
sided conversation, dragging all the rubbished pieces out into the
long empty hall, using the trenchers to shovel the old food onto
another piece of sheet, careful not to venture too close as he let
off a few warning growls.

He made himself very clear,
no need for words—
go away.
No one was welcome. But I wouldn’t. No,
I couldn’t.

We’ve come this far, I’m
not giving up now.

“
And, well,” my shoulders
lifted in a small half shrug, “you know how stubborn I can be.”
Once finished, I dragged the basin a little closer to Troll, but
not too close. Low and behold, behind the large tub was a small bit
of soap. Eyes brightening, I broke it into tiny little pieces, the
thin bit left easy enough to crumble, dropping most of it into the
cold water.

Had someone else tried to
bathe him at some point?
My eyes dipped to
him, straying down his length, then the tub. Taking in his sorry
state, I couldn’t help my unsolicitous thoughts.
If they did, it is safe to say they’d failed
miserably.

Dipping my hands in the basin, sleeves
rolled up, the cooler air in the room tickling my bare thighs, I
wrung out a cloth as I crouched back down, approaching him
carefully.

“
Must be uncomfortable,
caked with muck and dirt like that.” At least, I hoped most of it
was dirt. Holding the cloth out for him to see, careful not to meet
his eyes for too long, I implored, “Won’t you let me help
you?”

Studying me, his head cocking to the
side, I started at his feet, carefully brushing the white cloth
over his wide, blunt toes.

My heart was thrumming like a
hummingbird’s, vibrating beneath my breast. He was both fragile and
fierce, so breakable, to me, yet I knew the strength he possessed,
how easy it would be for him to crush me beneath his fist, to break
me.

Could he still sense me?
Sense our bond? Would it make a difference?

Grunting, he jerked away at first
touch.

“
I’m sorry,” lifting my
gaze quickly before it dipped, I smiled apologetically, brushing my
fingertips over the wetness left behind, “but you’re covered in
filth. How am I supposed to greet you properly when you’re wearing
a coat of dirt armor?”

My poor attempt at a tease was lost on
him, as he, one might appear, was lost to me.

Snapping his teeth, he jerked his foot
back, a low snarl rumbling up, so I backed away, giving him a
moment. Cupping water in my hands, I doused the area directly
underneath him, coming back, over and over, until the slant in the
floor, leading to a small series of crevices along the wall that
dipped into a wider cavern—about the size of my arm, going on for
who knows how long—somewhere down below, rinsed away clean,
carrying everything away to who knew where.

That finished, I let out a breath of
relief when the soapy suds washed most of the grime lining the
floor away. A smell remained, naturally, muted with a hint of the
deep, woodsy smelling soap, but it was bearable.

A loud snuffling sound came from
Troll, and I knew he was scenting the air. He didn’t seem
displeased by it, titling his nose and angling his head towards my
scalp, dipping low and straining against his restraints when I bent
to my task again. Cloth brushing over the tops of his feet once
more, testing out my welcome, he merely stared down at me, scowling
but not hissing or snarling, so I took that as a good
sign.

Balancing on the balls of my feet, I
crept a little closer, brushing my fingertips over the freshly
washed patches of skin, dark grey flesh peeking out beneath. “How
long has it been, hmm? Since you’ve had a good scrub?” Never
looking up, I kept at my work, rinsing out the cloth, trading it in
for a new one when the last one was too discolored to contemplate,
working my way ups to his knees.

Easy does it now, that’s
right.
My hopes for my plan soared.
This really could work.

“
Time goes by different
here,” I mused, “and with Calder keeping funny hours, and all
that’s going on, I have trouble. He’s a silly little fella, don’t
you think? Wanting to stay up all night and sleep all day. Sound
like someone you know?” I was sure to keep my voice low and
soothing, not wanting to startle him. “Has it really been so many
weeks since I’ve seen you? Two? Three? I’ve lost count.”

Chuffing, he hissed and pulled away,
his back slamming into the wall. It was what I’d been worried might
happen. Sighing heavily, my face pinched in a grimace. Sweet,
obviously, wasn’t going to do it.

Scooting forward a little more,
looping the leather bracelet/necklace over my neck, I murmured,
“You remember, don’t you? Remember what happened?” I didn’t want to
bring him around like this, but I needed him close, hoping I got
the reaction I was looking for.

The second the necklace touched my
skin, he hissed. I’d felt it too, the muted connection, the loss,
just not, as I suspected, the way he did, being on the receiving
end.

Whispering something in an odd tongue,
he crouched down, arms pulling, and buried his face in my hair. His
words got louder, more persistent, his thighs bracketing my
crouched form.

Dropping the cloth, I pressed my
hands, one on each thigh, and squeezed, massaging them up and down
the wide lengths.

This was my chance, and I doubted I’d
get another.

Hissing between clenched lips, he
flexed, a deep growl bubbling in his throat. I didn’t want to waste
any time, we’d done that enough, and he was already wasting away to
nothing, both physically and mentally, so I did it again, and
again, until he was sucking in deep lung-fuls of air, erection
jutting out, long and thick, straining towards me.

“
Mine.”

A slow smile tipped my
lips. “You want me, handsome?” This could work. This
will
work.

Taking advantage of his momentary
distraction, I reached a trembling hand out, brushing my fingertips
caressingly across his neck. Though his muscles strained, he
allowed the touch, bellowing his displeasure when I pulled back,
strolled casually to the basin, and wrung out a new
cloth.

Easing back, I washed his neck,
nuzzling the clean skin before he could protest. He froze, breath
catching when my teeth nipped playfully, and I wrapped my arms
around his shoulders, careful of his wounds.

He melted at first, purring from
somewhere deep in his chest, eyes closing slowly in bliss, but when
he saw me reaching to take my necklace off, felt it grazing his
bald head, he balked.

Thrusting his chest out, I fell back,
landing hard on my bottom on the cold, damp cave floor. Pulling
against his chains, he roared in my face, rage filling his eyes.
“NO! MINE!”

Alright, so... not so lost that he has
no idea what’s going on.

Scared as I was—terrified—I lunged at
him, wrapping an arm around him tight as I forced the necklace over
his head. Right as it fell, he clamped his teeth down on my
shoulder, snarling as his teeth dug in deep, tearing.

Eyes gone wide, nails digging into his
back, I screamed in agony, but I wouldn’t let go, not until I knew
the necklace wasn’t going anywhere. I had to know if it
worked.

With a harsh grunt, he dropped heavily
a moment later, all the fight going out of him, blinking up at me
absently as I stumbled back, gripping the bleeding, torn flesh of
my shoulder, clamping my fingers around it, tight as I could, as
bright red seeped through.

“
I’m sorry,” I murmured,
trying to breathe slowly through the crushing weight the power of
the necklace presented, as well as the pain of my wound, the real
pressure and great sense of loss a bond breaking would represent,
slamming me hard. “But I had no choice.” There was a lot of blood,
I realized, feeling a little woozy, but it wasn’t anything I felt I
couldn’t manage.

Moaning pitifully as he squatted down
into a tight ball, legs drawn up, arms held high, head low, he
groaned what I thought might be my name.

We both kept like that for a while, as
he rocked himself unsteadily, time standing still.

When what felt like hours had passed,
a small grunt escaped, followed by a whisper, then another. Eyes
scrunched tight, my lips trembled. He was chanting my
name.

“
I love you, you know.” It
came out more abrupt than I’d intended, but the room felt a little
lopsided, spinning just a bit. Troll’s head snapped up, and I
nodded. “Know you do too.” Plopping back down on my rump, I closed
my eyes, curling my legs up to tug them underneath me. “You may not
like me now, or even remember me, but you will.”

“
Mine,” was all he grunted,
confusion fighting with lucidity as the necklace worked its
magic.

“
Yes, yours,” I agreed,
“and you need to come back to us.” Cracking my eyes open, peeking
down, I winced as I peeled my hand away, promptly pressing it back.
“Couldn’t you have bitten me somewhere with a little more meat,
huh? I think I see bone.” Another joke gone flat, but my vision was
going spotty, so I let it pass. “You can’t be broken,” I mumbled.
“You didn’t break the bond, not really,” I lifted my chin to his
new adornment, “Vidi’s magic made it seem that way, but you didn’t,
not really.” My hand lifted weakly and I muttered, “This whole
animal-man-beast stuff is a little over the top, don’t you think?
I, uh, I mean dramatic, are we, hmm? Maybe you could come back to
me so I can tell you how useless you are, and you can tell me how
much of a round, spotted, frizzy haired nag I am, huh? How big my
butt is, how annoying and blathering I can be? How
daft?”

His scowl pulled into a frown, but a
small sense of recognition leapt across his face. Forcing myself to
stare straight at him, gaze boring into his, something glimmered in
his eyes as our eyes clashed.

“
Come back to me, you
stubborn asshole, I love you. Hear that? I said I love you. After
everything, you’re overbearing ways, the trickery, the servitude,
your lack of trust, your attitude, your taste in baubles,” I pushed
a chuckle I didn’t feel past my lips, goading Troll back to the
surface, back to me.

Speaking of lips, they felt
tingly, almost numb.
Was that a bad
sign?
I wasn’t sure, but I was determined,
and nothing was going to stop me, tingling lips be
damned.

“
Now,” trying to lift my
hand, it flopped to my side uselessly—I just couldn’t lift it
anymore—words slurring slightly, “quit being stubborn, you lazy
jack ass, and say it back.”

A long moment passed and I
shook my head
. I’m hurt bad.
It finally clicked, the shock of it wearing off,
and I started crawling towards the exit.
I
need help.

“
Be back,” I mumbled, face
planting a few times as something wet slicked my palms, “don’t go
nowhere... ‘kay? ‘Kay.”

“
N-n-nuuuggggeee-t.”

I fell again but couldn’t get back up
this time. Rolling over as the room spun, my chest stuttering a
little, as if under heavy weight, I stared dazedly at the
ceiling.

There was a bellow, followed by
another, and then Ketik came charging in. Blinking up at him
slowly, owlishly, arms splayed, upside down, I muttered, “What took
you so long?”

“
Bleedin’ hell,” Ketik
breathed, and then barked harsh sound, a shocked shout, as he
ducked down, his thick hand pressing down by my neck.

Grimacing, I gritted my
teeth, a hazy film washing over me.
Oh,
that hurts.
Jerking my head to the side as
I heard feet shuffle. The fuzzy outline of Quaz cradling Calder
gently, safe on the other side of the barrier, made me
smile.

“
Dinna know what ye’re
smilin’ about,” Ketik muttered. “Bleedin’ like a stuck
pig.”

“
That a bad thing?” My
humor, badly timed and lacking as it might be, wasn’t failing me.
That was something.

Ketik’s eyes blazed as he glowered
down at me. “Dunno, ye like livin’?”

Grunting as I tried to take a deep
breath, I shot back, “As much as I like breathin’.”

A short bark of laughter crept up his
throat and he shook his head at me.

“
Hear that, Troll?” I
taunted, lifting my head up a little as Ketik ripped open the top
of my shirt, growling at the sight of my wound. “You have to come
back to me, otherwise, Ketik or Quaz might claim me. See?” I nodded
towards my exposed upper chest. “He’s already checking my
wares.”

“
Dinna touch her!” Troll
roared and the walls shook. My head fell back, satisfaction filling
me, and I grinned.