The Trail of 98 (48 page)

Out in the corridor I heard a great running about, shouting of men, screaming
of women. The whole place seemed to be alive, panic-stricken, frenzied with
fear. Everything was in flames now, burning fiercely, madly, and there was no
stopping them. The hotel was burning, and I, too, must burn. What a horrible
end! Oh, if I could only do something! But I could not move. From the waist down
I was like a dead man. Where was Berna? Pray God she was safe. I could not cry
for aid. The room was reeling round and round. I was faint, dizzy, helpless.

The hotel was ablaze. In the streets below crowds were gathering. People were
running up and down the stairway, fighting to get free, mad with terror, leaping
from the windows. Oh, it was awful, to burn, to burn! I seemed to be caged in
flames that were darting at me savagely, spitefully. Would nobody save me?

Yes, some one was trying to save me, was dragging
my body across the floor.
Consciousness left me, and it seemed for ages I lay in a stupor. When I opened
my eyes again some one was still tugging at me. We were going down the stairway,
and on all sides of us were sheets of flapping flame. I was wrapped in a
blanket. How had it got there? Who was that dark figure pulling at me so
desperately, trying to lift me, staggering a few paces with me, stumbling
blindly on? Brave one, noble one, whoever you be! Foolhardy one, reckless one,
whoever you be! Save yourself while yet there is time. Leave me to my fate. But,
oh, the agony of it to burn, to burn ...!

Another desperate effort and we are almost at the door. Flames are darting at
us like serpents, leaping kitten-like at our heels. Above us is a billowy canopy
of fire soaring upward with a vast crackling roar. Fiery splinters shoot around
us, while before us is a black pit of smoke. Smooth walls of fire uprear about
us. We are in a cavern of fire, and in another moment it will engulf us. Oh, my
rescuer, a last frenzied effort! We are almost at the door. Then I am lifted up
and we both tumble out into the street. Not a second too soon, for, like a
savage beast foiled of its prey, a blast of flame shoots after us, and the
doorway is a gulf of blazing wrath.

I am lying in the snow, lying on a blanket, and some one holds my head.

"Berna, is that
you?"

She nods. She does not speak. I shudder as I look at her. Her face is like a
great burn, a black mask in which her eyes and teeth gleam whitely....

"Oh, Berna, Berna, and it was you that dragged me out...!"

My eyes go to the fiery hell in front. As I look the roof crashes in and we
are showered by falling sparks. I see a fireman run back. He is swathed in
flame. Madly he rolls in the snow. The hotel is like a cascade of flame; it
spouts outward like water, beautiful golden water. In its centre is a wonderful
whirlpool. I see the line of a black girder leap out, and hanging over it a
limp, charred shape. A moment it hangs uncertainly, then plunges downward into
the roasting heart of the pit. And I know it for Locasto.

Oh, Berna, Berna! I can't bear to look at her. Why did she do it? It's
pitiful, pitiful....

The fire is spreading. Right and left it swings and leaps in giant strides.
Sudden flames shoot out, curl over and roll like golden velvet down the black
faces of the buildings. The fire leaps the street. All is pandemonium now. Mad
with fear and excitement, men and women rave and curse and pray. Water! water!
is the cry; but no water comes. Suddenly a mob of terror-goaded men comes
surging down the street. They bring the long hose line that connects with the
pump-station on the river. Hurrah!
now they will soon have the flames under control. Water, water
is coming.

The line is laid and a cry goes up to turn on the water. Hurry there! But no
water comes. What can be the matter? Then the dread whisper goes round that the
man in charge of the pumping-station has neglected his duty, and the engine
fires are cold. A howl of fury and despair goes up to the lurid heavens. Women
wring their hands and moan; men stand by in a stupor of hopeless agony. And the
fire, as if it knew of its victory, leaps up in a roaring ecstasy of
triumph.

There we watched, Berna and I, lying in the snow that melts all around us in
the fierce, scorching glare. Through the lurid rift of smoke I can see the
friendly stars. Against that curtain of blaze, strangely beautiful in its
sinuous strength, I watch the black silhouettes of men running hither and
thither like rats, gutting the houses, looting the stores, tearing the hearts
out of the homes. The fire seems a great bird, and from its nest of furnace heat
it spreads its flapping wings over the city.

Yes, there is no hope. The gold-born city is doomed. From where I lie the
scene is one long vista of blazing gables, ribs and rafters hugged by tawny arms
of fire. Squat cabins swirling in mad eddies of flame; hotels, dance-halls,
brothels swathed and smothered in flame-rent blankets of swirling smoke. There
is no hope. The fire is a vast avenger, and before its wrath the iniquity of the
tenderloin is swept away. That flimsy hive of
humanity, with its sins and secrets and sorrows,
goes up in smoke and ashes to the silent stars.

The gold-born city is doomed. Yet, as I lay there, it seemed to me like a
judgment, and that from its ruins would arise a new city, clean, upright,
incorruptible. Yes, the gold-camp would find itself. Even as the gold, must it
pass through the furnace to be made clean. And from the site where in the olden
days the men who toiled for the gold were robbed by every device of human guile,
a new city would come to bea great city, proud and prosperous, beloved of
homing hearts, and blessed in its purity and peace.

"Beloved," I sighed through a gathering mist of consciousness. I felt some
hot tears falling on my face. I felt a kiss seal my lips. I felt a breathing in
my ear.

"Oh, my dear, my dear!" she said. "I've only brought you sorrow and pain, but
you've brought me love, that love that is a dazzling light, beside which the
sunshine is as darkness."

"Berna!" I raised myself; I put out my arms to clasp her. They clasped the
empty air. Wildly, wildly I looked around. She was gone!

"Berna!" Again I cried, but there was no reply. I was alone, alone. Then a
great weakness came over me....

I never saw her again.

It is finished. I have written here the story of my life, or of that portion
of it which means everything to me, for the rest means nothing. Now that it is
done, I too have done, so I sit me down and wait. For what am I waiting? A
divine miracle perhaps.

Somehow I feel I will see her again, somehow, somewhere. Surely God would not
reveal to us the shining light of the Great Reality only to plunge us again into
outer darkness? Love cannot be in vain. I will not believe it. Somehow,
somewhere!

So in the glow of the great peat fire I sit me down and wait, and the faith
grows in me that she will come to me again; that I will feel the soft caress of
her hand upon my pillow, that I will hear her voice all tuned to tenderness,
that I will see through my tear-blinded eyes her sweet compassionate face.
Somehow, somewhere!

With the aid of my crutch I unlatch one of the long windows and step out onto
the terrace. I peer through the darkness and once more I have a sense of that
land of imperious vastitudes so unfathomably lonely. With an unspeakable longing
in my heart, I try to pierce the shadows that surround me. From the cavernous
dark the snowflakes sting my face, but the great night seems good to me, and I
sink into a garden
seat. Oh, I am tired, tired....

I am waiting, waiting. I close my eyes and wait. I know she will come. The
snow is covering me. White as a statue, I sit and wait.

Ah, Berna, my dear, my dear! I knew you would return; I knew, I knew. Come to
me, little one. I'm tired, so tired. Put your arms around me, girl; kiss me,
kiss me. I'm weak and ill, but now you've come I'll soon be well again. You
won't leave me any more; will you, honey? Oh, it's good to have you once again!
It seems like a dream. Kiss me once more, sweetheart. It's all so cold and dark.
Put your arms around me....

Oh, Berna, Berna, light of my life, I knew all would come right at
lastbeyond the mists, beyond the dreaming; at last, dear love, at
last!...

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