The Trials of Renegade X (43 page)

“I can’t promise to be better or different or anything, because we’d both know that would be a lie. I won’t stop seeing Kat, and maybe I don’t have a good reason for you to let me stay, but ...” My throat goes tight and my voice sort of sounds too high. “I don’t want to go.”

“Damien, that’s ... Why would you think I would do that?”

“Mom did. What I did to her wasn’t nearly so bad as what I did to you. I lived with her for sixteen years, not six months, and I thought she cared about me. I mean, she did, but then she still kicked me out, just like that.” And didn’t waste any time replacing me. Not that Gordon needs a replacement—he’s already got three other kids.

He gets up from the chair and sits on the edge of my bed instead. “I don’t care what your mother did—we don’t kick people out in this family.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t think we did in mine—in hers—either.”

“Damien, look at me.”

I risk a glance at him, even though I really don’t want to.

He grips my shoulders and peers into my eyes, concern creasing his forehead. “You’re
not
going anywhere. Do you understand?”

“But—”

“I mean it. This is your home.”

“I ruined your life.”

He sighs. “Well, you certainly made it more complicated.”

“What I did last weekend at Heroesworth was bad enough, and now ...” I shrug. “I made things that much worse for you.”

“I can’t fault you for saving people. I can’t say I always like
how
you do it, and I wish you’d think about the consequences a bit more before you act. But a lot of people would be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.”

“I didn’t go to Vilmore to save people. I went there to see Kat.”

“I know why you went. Helen explained it to me.”

“Yeah, so, if I hadn’t almost died last night, you’d be yelling at me right now.”

“I ...” He falters and shakes his head. “Look, I was mad at first, but I understand why it was important for you to go. Though maybe you could have done it
without
picking a fight?”

“He was a douche. So, no, I couldn’t. But I’m pretty sure I would have won, if that helps.”

“That’s not ... My point is that I have a son who was willing to risk his life to save a lot of people. And who would do anything for someone he cares about. Not everyone can say that, and I’m proud of you. Of who you are.”

“The whole city hates you.”

He flinches and puts a hand to his temple. “Damien, just ... Let me worry about it, all right?”

“I’m not going to let them cancel your show.”

He gives me an exasperated look as he gets to his feet and says, “You need to rest now.”

Which I think is code for “you need to stop talking.”

There’s a commotion in the living room, followed by running footsteps on the stairs. Obviously some crazy person who wants to die in a tragic stair-collapsing incident. Then my door flings open, and Kat comes in. She looks kind of surprised to see Gordon here. Her eyes flick over to him, like she thinks he’s going to kick her out. Then she ignores him and rushes over, climbing onto the bed with me.

“Kat, you’re here. In the
house
.” I can’t help smiling, even though I still hurt all over and feel like crap.

“I had to see you.” She glances over her shoulder at the sound of more footsteps on the stairs, which must be Helen. Coming to tell her to get out. “I had to make sure you were okay.”

“Aw, I told you I was fine.”

She nods, her eyes watering a little. “I know you kept
saying
that, but you really didn’t seem like it. And I watched you almost
die
. I thought you were really going to, and if I hadn’t found my dad in time ... I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept expecting to get a call, saying you weren’t all right, that something horrible had happened and you’d had to go to the hospital, or that your heart had stopped. But then I realized there was no one who would call me and tell me that. Just you, and your phone was fried, and even if it wasn’t, if you were unconscious or in the emergency room, or ... or dying ... then you couldn’t have said anything.” A couple of tears slide down her cheeks, and she sucks in a deep breath. “I had to stay at Vilmore with my dad, and you seemed so messed up when you left, and I kept thinking, what if that turned out to be the last time I ever saw you? What if you really weren’t okay?”

I put my arms around her and pull her close to me, trying not to wince at how sore I am. “Kat, I promise I’m all right. You’re always going to see me again.” Then to Gordon, who’s still standing there, watching us, I say, “Weren’t you on your way
out
?”

He scowls at me, but before he can either confirm or deny that, Helen comes in the room.

She does
not
look pleased to see Kat on my bed, as if she just caught us about to have sex again, even though Gordon’s
right there
. And even though I still feel like I got hit by a truck and am not exactly up for that right now, though I suppose she doesn’t know that part. “You ran past me,” she tells Kat. “You didn’t give me a chance to say anything.”

“I just had to see if he was okay. And now I have, so ...” Kat says that like she’s going to leave, but she doesn’t move.

Helen sighs. “I was
going
to tell you to come in. And where Damien’s new room was, but I see you already knew that.”

“So, does that mean she can stay?” I ask. “You’re not kicking her out?”

“That’s right.”

“Because I’m recovering from almost dying, or because she’s allowed in the house?”

“Both. But there are going to be rules, and I don’t want the two of you—”

“Having sex? Yeah, I
know
.” I glare at her.

Kat brings up her knees and hides her face, looking like she’s going to die of embarrassment.

“You’re still only sixteen, and there are certain things that—”

Gordon puts a hand on her arm. “Helen, the kids are fine.”

Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“I know you worry about him, but I trust him. To be responsible about it.” He clears his throat, looking uncomfortable. “So, let’s just let it go for now.”

Wow. I can’t believe Gordon just stuck up for me. Especially about
that
.

Then again, he did just argue in favor of me sleeping with a supervillain. So maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Helen looks like she wants to ask him if he’s really sure about that, but she doesn’t. Instead, she sighs in defeat and goes to leave, but not without propping my door open on her way out. It’s like living at Kat’s house. Except without the really good chocolate chip cookies her mom makes.

“Do you need anything?” Gordon asks.

I am
so
tempted to say “condoms.” But I restrain myself. “Actually ... I could go for some tomato soup.” And everything else in the kitchen.

He smiles and says he thinks we’re out, but that he’ll go to the store and get some.

I wait until he’s gone, then say to Kat, “Close the door. I need your help with something.”

She raises an eyebrow at me. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, but there’s
no way
I’m having sex with you while your parents are home.”

I grin. “It’s cool that your mind went there, what with you not being able to stop thinking about ripping my clothes off and all, but that’s actually not what I meant.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m serious. Though I
am
going to get undressed, and we
are
going to make a video.”

“Is this an audition tape for the circus? Because I was joking about your act actually being x-rated.”

“
Our
act, Kat. And I don’t think they take audition tapes. Plus, this has nothing to do with that. It’s important, and ... it’s just something I have to do.”

“Something that involves the door being closed and you not wearing anything?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to wear anything. So, while you’re up, could you grab my swimming trunks from the dresser?”

A curious expression tugs on her mouth, but she doesn’t ask questions. She gets up to do what I asked and says, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

I smile and say, “Don’t I always?”

Even though I have no idea if this is going to work.

Riley comes over later that evening, after Kat’s gone home. I half expected—or maybe just hoped—that Sarah would be with him, but she’s not.

He sits in the dining chair next to my bed with his hands on his knees, looking really serious. Then he takes a deep breath and says, “Dude. I can’t believe you like Superstar.” He glances over at the poster on the wall.

“That’s what you have to say to me? I nearly died, and you come in here and
insult
me?” I shake my head and cluck my tongue at him, even though really I’m trying not to laugh.

“What do you want me to say? That I thought you were going to die in my car last night?”

“I was just asleep.”

“
Oh, no
. You weren’t. You said some really weird stuff.”

“I’m pretty sure that I didn’t.” I hesitate. “Like what?”

“You told me you loved me.”

“
What?
” No wonder he thought I was about to die.

“Just kidding. What you actually said was that you were going to murder me if I ever told anyone you were afraid of heights. You sounded like you meant it, too. Like you
really
meant it. And you kept holding up your hand and threatening to zap me. Even though I was driving.”

“I was delirious. I’m
reluctant
about heights. Not
afraid
of them. That’s ridiculous.”

He squints suspiciously at me, obviously not fooled. “Kat said you could hardly get up the stairs.”

“She was exaggerating. She didn’t want me to go face Sarah alone.”

“It’s okay. I wasn’t going to tell anybody, even before the death threats.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Oh,
right
.” He presses his fingers together, shaking his head. “It’s not like you’re the only one who’s afraid of stuff, you know.”

“Yeah? What are
you
afraid of? Not getting straight
A
s? Missing an episode of
Train Models
?” I say that a lot meaner than I meant to, then feel kind of bad about it.

“Losing people.” He picks at a string hanging off the edge of his shirt. “My dad died a few years ago. Because he sacrificed himself to save that bus full of people, and ... I know it was the right thing. At least, that’s what everyone always tell me. But ...” He presses his palms to his forehead, gripping his hair. “I really hate him for it, you know? Maybe it was the right thing for the people on that bus, but it wasn’t the right thing for
me
. Or for Zach. Or my mom. And then
you
—” He swallows. “Look, X, I know we’re not even that close or anything. It’s stupid, but when I saw you throw yourself at that beam of lightning, and it was obvious that, even with your electricity power, you were going to die—that you were going to
sacrifice yourself
to save everyone, like an idiot—you just ... you scared the hell out of me!”

The sudden anger in his voice startles me. I blink at him. “You’re seriously pissed at me for saving people?”

“
Yes
. No. I mean, I’m mad at you for throwing your life away like that! And for what? A bunch of people you don’t even know?! I
know
that’s supposed to be heroic and all, but what was I supposed to tell Zach? And Sarah never would have gotten over it, if you’d done that, because of her.”

“She wouldn’t have gotten over killing all those people, either.”

“I know. But ... It’s just ...
How
could you do that? How could you do that to Kat and to Sarah?! And to your family?!”

“Whoa. Calm down, Perkins. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s
not
okay! It was really stupid of you! I know everyone on the news and on those dumb websites is saying you’re a hero—”

“They are?”

“Yeah, well, you did stop a whole bunch of people from getting killed.”

“But they were supervillains.”

“So?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Anyway, it wasn’t heroic, it was really selfish of you. I mean, I was pretty freaked out.”

“Because I almost died?”

“And because you were just going to give yourself up like that, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt helpless, like I did when my dad died, and I wasn’t even there for that.” He meets my eyes real quick, then looks away again. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“I mean it.”

“I
said
I won’t.”

“Okay, but I should ... I should probably get going, though.”

“Come on, Perkins. You don’t have to do that. I didn’t die, okay? I’m sorry I freaked you out. And ...” I take a deep breath. “I
am
afraid of heights. Kat wasn’t exaggerating. It’s really bad, and if anything, she was downplaying it. So, now you know something about me I would never tell anyone.” Not if I could help it. “You don’t have to leave.”

He nods, looking grateful for that. “I should still go soon, though. I have this project I’m working on, for Intro to Heroism. We finally started doing field work.”