The Truth About Us (5 page)

God, I hate this.

xxx

Once I feel calm again, I dress and go downstairs where Tobie sits at the kitchen table, flipping through a magazine, and Tosh is on the couch playing some video game.

“Morning, sunshine.” He laughs at me. “Have a good time last night?”

I avoid his eyes and say nothing because he obviously knows I got home after four in the morning. When the bar closes at two, it’s pretty obvious.

“I bet she got lured out to Mills Lake for a post-bar swim. The old rope and grope.” Tobie laughs and circles this gaudy chandelier in her magazine.

“The what?” I pour a coffee and sit next to her. Tosh laughs as he mercilessly slaughters an army that’s cornered him on his game.

“There’s an old knotted rope out on the east side of the lake. The boys favorite pick up is to take girls out there so they’ll either get naked or in their underwear and go in the lake.”

“Where does this groping come in?” I take a sip of coffee, trying to hide the fact that even the thought of swinging on a rope over the water is enough to send me into a panic.

Tosh has paused his game and moves to the table wrapping his arms around Tobie. “Well the rope is kinda tricky. It’s a two man operation,” Tosh says and slides his hands down Tobies arms then transfers them to her waist. “You have to stand on this old, fallen tree to get to it. It’s hard to get a grip and balance, so while she’s getting herself positioned on the rope, she needs someone strong to hold her up.” Tosh digs his fingers into Tobie’s side, and she jumps.

“So you were pretending to be helpful but just being creepy and feeling up wet half-naked girls?” I smirk and shake my head. Tosh smiles wide.

“It works sometimes. That’s how I got Tobie. She let me get to third base after the first time on the ol’ rope and grope. Because I’m such a gentleman, I helped her on that rope every time she wanted it.” Tosh kisses Tobie’s cheek in an exaggerated, loud kiss, and she glares.

“That’s not the reason, and you know it.” She pushes his face away and bites back a smile. Tosh laughs and goes back to his game, whatever shared memory they have is staying secret.

Tobie goes back to her magazine, and Tosh’s game fills the house with the sound of machine gun fire. I sit at the table, looking out the patio doors to the spring buds blossoming on the trees thinking about my own secrets. But none of my secrets make my eyes sparkle and my lips twitch into little smiles like Tobie’s doing right now.

My secrets require medication.

Chapter Five

Corbin

Sitting at the bar, tossing my fries around but not eating them, I can’t get her out of my mind. Her small frame and huge grey eyes haunt me as I give myself shit for looking at her too closely. For thinking about her while I was with Kayla last night in my truck. For trying to push the thoughts out but in the end just letting Sophia dominate.

How messed up is that? I know Garett fucked her. Not that it would be the first time we tried for the same girl, but I
have
a girl. Sort of.

I glance at my phone again, but the screen is still black.

“What are you, like, twelve? You’ve checked that phone every ten seconds since you got here.” Brenda leans over the bar and grabs a fry from my plate. Her voice is harsh, but I know she’s teasing. Being the day shift waitress at a dead bar in a city so small it shouldn’t really be a city has this ability to grind away any of the seriousness of life. For Brenda, her days consist of drinking coffee, flipping through soap operas on the bar TV and serving grown men beer at noon. Brenda knows everything about everyone, and the way her brown eyes are staring me down she knows I’m hiding something. It’s a testament to her skills because I hide everything.

“I’m expecting a call,” I say and swipe the phone off the counter before she can get to it. Brenda smirks and continues to wipe down bottles of booze from the back shelves, reaching up a dozen times to attempt to tuck her short dark hair behind her ears.

I probably shouldn’t have texted her, but I was sitting in the office, waiting for my Dad to not show up, like usual, and saw her employment file open on the desk. The way she ran out of here with Garett last night is making me crazy. She looked almost frantic.

There’s something intriguing about Sophia, and something that she’s hiding. It bothers me that I am so interested in her. I want to know why she looks at everything with wide eyes like she’s never stepped outside of her own head and has no idea that there’s a world beyond her sadness. I want to know why she punches steering wheels and reaches for her purse every time something makes her jump. I more or less just want to know how she got stuck in
my
head. Getting involved is off limits for me. That’s why what Kayla and I have works.

“Well honey, you want another beer while you wait for that call?” Brenda swipes my empty bottle and I shake my head, reaching into my pocket for money.

“Once they get in there, it’s hard to get them out, eh?” I hear the shaky voice of Richard from a few seats down the bar, and I shake my head. Brenda rolls her eyes.

“All good, Brenda. Keep the rest. Have to get back to work.” I push back from the bar and nod to Richard sitting three stools down from me. “Once what gets in where, Rich?” I ask, leaning on the bar next to a man I’ve known my entire life.

The old man is the most regular of the regulars and has been coming to Dad’s bar every day since his wife died four years ago. Before that he was in here with Ruth every Friday for steak sandwiches. Now I think he comes for the company, or to avoid the pain of being home and living in his memories. I can relate to that.

“The girl you’re waitin’ for.”

I shake my head again. Horny old man thinks of nothing but women.

Just after she passed away, he always used to come sit with the guys and me and tell us stories of his wife, Ruth. I didn’t think old people were wild like that, but Richard and Ruth were beatniks through and through. Bonnie and Clyde, without the killing. Rich would always throw an arm over my shoulder and make everyone lean in.

“Those women, they have more power than any man I ever knew, I tell ya. Once you set eyes on the right one, you might as well be dead ‘cause your heart no longer beats for you, your world no longer spins on its’ own, your soul is wrapped up in that single gaze and handed over freely. Everything you do from that day forward, whether ya like it or not, will be for her; and her only. That's what I call true power.” He would slap his hand down on the table and lean back like he just said the most brilliant thing ever spoken.

He was a great poet and a hilarious drunk, but I didn’t believe a word he said.

“That’s bullshit, Old Man. In the end, they’ll always crush that heart and walk out on that world.” I would tease him, and he’d look at me with these dark eyes, so serious.

“Until you stop staring at women with your prick, boy, you ain’t never gunna set eyes on the right one. That young brain a’yours knows nothing of what it means to be in love.”

“There ain’t no girl, Richie. I’m not waiting for anyone.” I pat his shoulder and turn to leave. He says, “For Ruthie.” Which is how he ends every conversation. I feel bad for the poor bastard. In more ways than one.

I walk back to work, with my head down, thinking about Richard and his words. That shit doesn’t mean anything. Not to me anyway.

My thoughts are broken by my phone buzzing. For a moment, I think it’s Sophia and my stomach jumps making me stop and frown. I’ve never had that jump in my stomach when my phone rings.

It’s my sister. My stomach twist for a whole new reason.

“Hey, Gaby.” I try to sound light, but it’s still hard to talk to my sister even after all these years. I lean against the chain link fence outside the metal shop where I work. I shove one hand in my pocket and listen with a smile.

“Uncle Corbie, guess what I did today? I made a, uh… I made a... What’s it called Mom?” I hear my nephew, Parker, stutter, and then clunk around while he whispers to my sister. I hear her whisper something back. “I um, I um, made a bolt.” He states so proud of himself that I laugh out loud.

“A bolt? That’s amazing, Buddy. On the lathe?” I laugh again when he’s silent for a moment.

“What’s a lathe, Uncle?” His squeaky voice becomes so serious, and I hear Gaby laugh this time.

“It’s the machine that spins the metal round and round so you can shape it.”

“Oh, yeah, I used that. Or my teacher did. I helped.”

“That’s awesome! I can’t wait to see it. Can you put your mom on, Bud?”

More shuffling and banging and yelling and then my sister sighs into the phone.

“Hey, Corb.”

“What the hell is a six year old doing operating a lathe?” I’m not angry, but astonished that she would let him operate heavy machinery like that.

“It was for his class trip thing. They were doing some career fair series where they visit a bunch of different trade shops to see how things are made. And don’t get too excited, I only knew it was a bolt because his teacher said that’s what it was. It looks more like something a robot dog would shit out.” Parker giggles in the background and I relax. It’s always weird that my twenty one year old sister has a six year old son, but the sound of his voice calms me almost as much as the water does when I swim. His excitement for life makes me wish I could have a tenth of what he does. It also makes me hate my father, which is a weird association, but Dad almost forced Gaby to have an abortion. It’s part of the reason Mom took her away. I couldn’t imagine life without Parker. Even if I only see him once a year.

“How are you doing?” My voice settles to normal, and I can almost see Gaby sitting on the kitchen counter, twirling her short hair in her fingers until it stands on end in little clusters, shrugging her shoulders like she used to when she’d talk to her friends. I doubt she’s changed much, and unless she’s right in front of me I can’t ever picture her as anything but that awkward sixteen year old girl she was before she had Parker.

“I’m good. Parker’s losing teeth now, he looks like a rabbit. Don’t ya bud?” She speaks half to me and half to Parker. The sound of scraping chair legs fills my ear, and Gaby takes a minute to give him shit for it.

“Are you gunna tell Uncle about the surprise?” Parker yells and Gaby shushes him.

“What surprise?” I ask.

“Well I
wasn’t,
but I guess now that you blabbed, I have to tell him. You stinker.”

“Tell me what?” My chest tightens because I hate surprises. Every time a woman has said they had to tell me something it was ‘I’m cheating on you’ or ‘I just need to be single for a while’ or ‘I’m leaving your father and taking your sister with me.’

“Parker and I are coming home for your birthday.” Parker starts yelling in the background, but my gut drops and I slump forward.

“Corbin?” Gaby says, and I breathe in.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Is it okay that we were going to come home? I mean if you don’t want us...” she starts with that little sister tremble in her voice.

“No. No, I want you to come. That’s awesome. Really. But Mom?”

“Is not coming with us. She dropped a couple hints, but I didn’t think you’d want to see her.” Gab trails off.

“I don’t.” My tone is harsh, and Gaby knows I don’t like to talk about Mom. Mostly because the things that crush me about her; clutter me up with guilt and lies, are things I never want my sister to know.

“That’s what I thought. I really think you should talk to her though, Corb. She’s really changed.”

I’ve tried to talk. She doesn’t fucking listen.

“Well, I haven’t changed, Gab. Just accept that. It’ll make this a lot easier.”

“You’re both stubborn as shit. Fine. Well, we’ll see you at the end of June, I guess. We were planning to leave the weekend after Parker’s done classes. Love you brother.” She holds the phone out, and Parker screams at me that he loves me too.

“Yeah that’s cool. You too. Later.”

I hit end. And now I definitely need another beer, so I push off the fence and head back to the bar. Good thing my boss, Leroy, doesn’t care when I’m there, as long as the work gets done before it has to ship out.

I’m looking down, texting Garett to meet me at the bar. He works at the legal aid office, so he’s like me and can duck out whenever. Absently, I reach out to open the door to the bar and it slams open into me, knocking me backwards and sending my phone crashing to the ground.

“What the fuck!?” I yell as I catch the wide eyes of Sophia.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry!” she squats down on her heels and scoops up my phone, and I join her. I’m super pissed that my phone is in pieces, but then I hear her sniffle. Ducking lower to check under her silky dark hair, I see a tear fall from her nose.

“Whoa, hey? Sophia, are you crying?” My chest squeezes because I hate crying chicks, but I also get this crazy urge to pull her in for a hug.