The Truth About You (49 page)

Julia also had a desk in Tom’s study where she was allowed to do her homework if she was quiet, and her beloved horses were in stables the other side of the village. Since they’d been moved there the whole family had taken up riding, and because of how much they enjoyed it Tom and Lainey had set about building a stable block of their own.

Next to riding her horses, rehearsing for the panto, Skyping with Max, reading to her mother or father, and hanging out with Tierney and Maudie, Julia’s greatest pleasure in life was taking Peter and Sherman for walks – either down to the duck pond, or over to the stables. Quite what Sherman thought of his new lead, since he’d almost never worn one, was impossible to tell. However, he never seemed to mind when she clipped it on, and there was definitely a wag in his tail whenever the three of them – four when Zav or Tom joined them – set off down the drive. For his part Peter rarely failed to smile when he saw her, much as he did with his other grandchildren, though it was doubtful he really knew who she was. The only names he’d spoken in a while now were Lainey’s and Sandra’s, and it was evident he had them confused.

November came, and Tom’s new book was published. As usual it went straight to number one, both sides of the Atlantic, and because this was the first time Kirsten and Julia had been around to celebrate with them they’d thrown an especially big party. However, a week after publication other matters once again overshadowed Tom’s fictional world.

Now, as Lainey surveyed the neatly kept gardens of the crematorium where more mourners than either she or Tom had imagined were starting to gather, she was remarking the colours of the trees and how bare some were, while others still seemed slow to shed. The sun was bright, glistening in puddles and flashing off windscreens like laughter. The sadness of the occasion seemed to be passing nature by.

There were many faces she recognised, some only by sight or from TV, others whom she knew fairly well, mainly through Tom. She felt touched by their need to pay their final respects, saying so softly as she shook their hands. Everyone was welcome at the reception following the service.

There was a marquee in the field where caterers were even now setting up for the event, while the gardener and his assistant were clearing pathways through the piles of fallen leaves.

As time ticked on more people arrived, dressed in black and carrying memories they were already starting to share. She wondered what Tom would make of so many luminaries when he saw them. No doubt he’d know who they all were. She could see the hearse turning into the crematorium now, with a black Mercedes behind that she knew was carrying Tom, Max, Tierney, Zav and Julia. Lainey had come on ahead with Stacy and Kirsten’s sister Rosa. Rosa’s husband was here too, as was Nancy, many teachers from Julia’s school, and most of the village including the owners of the stables. Her sisters, Sarah and Esther, had turned up a few minutes ago with their husbands; even her own self-appointed Italian family had flown over to lend their support: Marco and his wife, Adriana and Lorenzo.

As the hearse came to a stop beside the low red-brick building, Lainey looked at the coffin, covered in flowers, and tried not to think of the body inside. It wasn’t a person any more, only the remains after the spirit had soared. She wasn’t going to break down, she really wasn’t, but she was close, and seeing Tom and the children getting out of the second car she felt a tear splash messily on to her cheek. Their grief was so evident it was impossible for her not to feel it too.

Tom’s eyes found hers, and for a fleeting moment it was as though all sounds stopped and no one else existed.

Feeling Stacy’s arm go through hers, Lainey pressed it to her side and watched Tom joining his brother, Grant, and four more dark-suited men to hoist the coffin on to their shoulders. The children were surrounding her now, struggling with their emotions, needing to be close.

‘Are you ready?’ Stacy whispered as the pall-bearers began edging forward.

Lainey nodded, and holding Julia’s hand she started to follow, but stopped as she saw Sherman, loyally walking behind the coffin.

‘It’s all right, Mum,’ Tierney sobbed as Lainey buckled. ‘It’ll be all right.’

Max’s and Stacy’s arms were around her, holding her up.

‘I’m fine,’ she tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come.
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
, she wanted to scream, but of course she couldn’t.

He was gone. Her wonderful, gentle, devoted father had left to be with her mother. It was where he belonged, she knew that, but how was she going to bear being without him?

The service passed in a blur as she sat with her head on Tom’s shoulder, her hand resting in his. Her eyes only left the coffin when Tom got up to speak, at length, about Peter, his friend, mentor, father-in-law and inspiration. He stirred up long-forgotten memories for many of those present, making them laugh and cry and laugh again. He spoke about Lainey and how special she had been to her father, while tactfully, if not truthfully, including her sisters. He said something about how much the best father in the world was going to be missed, and she wanted to tell him that he was that person, but realised it would have to wait until they were alone.

Two of publishing’s top executives spoke about Peter too, saying how valuable and inspirational he had been to the industry, and emphasising the importance of his legacy. Even Father Michael from her mother’s church stepped up to say a few words, followed by Bannerleigh’s local vicar. Then Max, with his guitar, sang a song he’d composed specially. Lainey could only imagine how many tears were falling; she could tell by how stiffly Tom was holding himself that he was finding this the hardest part of the service so far.

When it was finally all over and time to leave, Sherman was once again Lainey’s undoing, since he couldn’t be moved. He simply stood by the coffin, waiting for Peter to need him. In the end Tom had to carry him outside, and when the dear dog turned his tragic brown eyes up to Lainey, she could only hug him and sob into his fur.

‘We’ll take care of you,’ she promised brokenly, ‘just like you took care of him.’

By the time they returned to the house the sun had yielded to a bruising sky and a fine mist of drizzle. Kirsten, who’d received the devastating news, only yesterday, that the cancer had spread to her lungs, was, perversely, looking stronger than she had for some time as she waited in the marquee, having overseen the arrangements in Lainey’s absence.

Seeing her, Lainey walked into her arms and held her tight. They’d become good friends these past few months, and knowing that she was going to lose her soon, too, was proving especially difficult today. ‘Thanks for doing all this,’ she whispered, drawing back to look at her. ‘Are you OK?’

‘High as a kite.’ Kirsten tried to twinkle through her tired eyes. ‘How did the service go?’

Lainey grimaced. ‘Probably best not to ask, and definitely don’t mention Sherman.’

‘Did he go too?’

‘Yes. Poor thing, if he could have jumped into the coffin, he would have. He’s going to miss him so much. We all are, except of course he hasn’t been the dad I knew for quite some time.’

Kirsten looked up as Tierney and Julia came into the tent, followed by Tom, Zav and Sherman.

‘I didn’t feel right about leaving the dog on his own,’ Tom admitted, ‘so he’s come to join us.’

Loving him for thinking of it, Lainey stooped to give Sherman another hearty hug, while Julia went to link hands with her mother.

‘We said goodbye to Grandpa,’ she told her. ‘It was very sad.’

‘I’m sure,’ Kirsten responded, stroking her face, and thinking, Lainey imagined, of the day, not too far distant, when Julia would be saying goodbye to her.

‘Daddy carried the coffin,’ Julia announced.

Kirsten smiled at Tom. ‘That’s because he’s big and strong,’ she said teasingly.

‘That’ll be me,’ Tom agreed, looking round at the sound of voices as everyone starting arriving.

‘Are you sure you’re up for this?’ Lainey asked Kirsten.

‘I’ve put myself on a table close to the exit,’ Kirsten assured her, ‘so I can slip away at any time.’

Knowing that a part of Kirsten was actually looking forward to this potentially last opportunity to see some people from her own past, Lainey squeezed her hand and went to join Tom, who was greeting Nadia.

Though it took a while for everyone to assemble, the atmosphere was becoming almost light-hearted as long-time friends caught up with one another, and extended family joined in playing host. It was exactly, Lainey was thinking, as she watched the children mingle with trays and drinks, how her father would have wanted it to be. No more tears, only laughter as old stories were retold and new ones took their place. She could almost see him standing in the middle of it all, the catalyst between past and future, loving the fact that busy lives had been put on hold for a day, allowing everyone he cared about to remember why they cared about each other.

‘Mum, I’ve got something to tell you,’ Tierney announced in a whisper.

‘Do I want to hear it now?’ Lainey asked, also in a whisper.

‘Yes. Definitely. I’ve decided that when I go to uni I want to study to become the kind of doctor, or nurse, that takes care of people like Julia.’

Lainey’s eyes widened with surprise, but as she turned to make sure Tierney wasn’t teasing her Tierney slipped back into the crowd.

Just wait till she told Tom this astonishing – and perhaps unreliable – piece of news.

Spotting Stacy sitting with Kirsten, she knew without asking what they were discussing: the article Stacy was going to run in her new magazine, to be written jointly by Kirsten and Lainey, that would reveal Tom as the father of Kirsten’s child.

Deciding she might like to join them, she started on her way but was waylaid by Marco and Adriana.

‘Your father was clearly very well loved,’ Marco commented as he gave her a hug. ‘It pleases me a lot to see this after what you learned about your family in Italy.’

‘But you have us now,’ Adriana reminded her. ‘You are welcome always in our home, please to know that.’

‘Thank you,’ Lainey smiled, keeping hold of Marco’s hand as she felt a renewed gratitude for how much easier he had made that terrible time. His own marriage was working out fine now, apparently, though she could tell by the haunted look at the back of his eyes that the trust still hadn’t fully returned.

‘Have you decided what you want to do about Aldo?’ Adriana asked, replacing her glass on a passing tray.

Since Melvina had died, a month ago, Lainey had felt a stronger desire to meet her grandfather than she had before, provided he wanted to meet her, of course. ‘We’re hoping to go and see him in the new year,’ she replied, leaning against Tom as he came to slip an arm around her. ‘You never know,’ she said, ‘he might be happy to find himself with a family again, even if it is ours.’

‘I think he will,’ Adriana assured her. ‘From everything Carlotta tells us he is a lonely man, and perhaps in need of knowing that Alessandra’s life became a good one – and that her daughter has grown up safely.’

Not until they were able to steal a moment alone did Lainey say to Tom, ‘Am I safe?’

He gave it some thought. ‘Only because all these people are around,’ he decided.

She gurgled on a laugh, and linked his arm as they headed towards Kirsten and Stacy. ‘Well, at least we know one thing for certain,’ she said, looking around her.

‘We do? What’s that?’

‘That whether you love me or not you’re doing your level best to keep me tied to you, the kitchen sink and your very many children.’

Turning her to him, he asked, ‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’

‘About being pregnant? Why would I mind, when I’ve always said being a wife and mother is what I do best?’

‘No.’ Tom shook his head. ‘What you do best is shame me for not being able to tell you how much I love you.’

‘Ah, but you’re pretty good at showing me.’

With a waggle of his eyebrows, he said, ‘I like to think so. In fact, I could tell you too, if you like.’

Intrigued, she said, ‘Go on then.’

‘OK. I love you, Lainey Hollingsworth.’

She frowned. ‘Is that it?’

‘I told you it wouldn’t be enough.’

Funnily enough, it didn’t seem to be.

‘I could shout it so everyone can hear,’ he offered.

At that, her eyes sparked with mischief. ‘Go on then,’ she challenged, knowing full well that he’d expected her to back away from the very idea.

To her surprise he took a breath, but before he could get the first word out she clapped a hand over his mouth. ‘It’s OK, I believe you,’ she muttered, smiling at those nearby.

He gave her a quizzical look. ‘Are you sure, because I don’t have a problem with everyone knowing it?’

‘I’m hoping we can assume they already do. Anyway, I prefer it when you show me.’

‘Aha.’ His eyes narrowed with interest. ‘I can do that, except maybe not right now.’

Loving the way this was going, she said, ‘OK. Then what are you doing later?’

‘You know, I wasn’t sure before,’ he smiled, tilting her mouth to his, ‘but I am now.’

‘And?’

‘I’m going to start a new book, all about how much I love my very beautiful wife.’

An enormous thank you to my lovely friend Carlo Cocuzzi who helped so patiently and tirelessly with the Italian translations. Any mistakes (and hopefully there are none) will be completely down to me. I’d also like to thank my good friend Ruth Kelham for introducing me to Stroud.

Last, but by no means least, I’d like to thank my wonderful stepsons Michael and Luke for providing so much inspiration and entertainment while we were in Italy researching the book.