The Truth Behind The Lies (30 page)

“Nina you’re supposed to love me.” He whispered as he shook his head. He turned and left me alone in the room. I felt my heart had been ripped out. I felt like a paranoid stupid bitch. Why did I do that? I love him more than any man I’ve ever been in a relationship with. Why did I accuse him of murder? Like who does that? Was I trying to sabotage us? I could see the hurt in his eyes but I just kept on digging my own grave.

I think we’re over. I tried to hold the tears in but I couldn’t. I was stuck on that couch. There is no way he would forgive me. Who accuses their perfect boyfriend of murder? I do.

A strong shot of adrenalin hit me hard in the chest and catapulted me off the couch. My feet moved fast. I was going to run after him. I needed him to see that I was sorry. I needed something. I needed him. He left the room and it was like he took one of my arms with him.

What did I do?

What did I do?

What the fuck did I just do?

I hit the hallway and ran down the stairs wiping my tears. I missed a few steps and stumbled but didn’t fall on my ass because I had one hand on the bannister. I didn’t see Bash anywhere. I ran to the foyer were the front door was open. I stood in the doorway and watched as he pulled away in his Porsche.

I watched him speed around the circular driveway. I closed the door and when I turned around Isabelle was standing there watching me. She rolled her eyes at me. Did she hear everything? I ignored her and I stood there crying. She left me alone.

I stood there in that spot forever. I sat on the stairs and I’m sure an hour had passed. Jax came down the stairs and hovered around me for a few seconds before he decided to say something.

“What did you do to my father? He called my cell and said he was going away for a few days. He told me to watch you and make sure you stay put. He told me to call him if you leave this house. What’s going on?”

“So he’s okay? You talked to him?” I had ignored everything Jax said. I just wanted to know Bash was safe. He was so mad at me.

“He sounds fine but he always sounds fine. You had a fight or something?”

“Or something?”

“What about? Nothing really upsets my father. That’s why we get away with so much. Did you cheat on him?”

“No of course not. I would never do anything like that.”

“Well you did something?”

“What else did he say?”

“I told you.”

“Give me your phone.” I leapt from the stairs and got in his face.

“Why?”

“Jax give me your fucking phone!” I snatched the phone right out of his hand. He didn’t fight me for it. He just looked at me like I was a freak.

I didn’t have to scroll. Bash was the last incoming call. I hit the words Vater (Father). My heart was beating quick as I waited for him to answer this call.

“Jax.” I heard his voice and my heart skipped a few beats. “Jax.”

“Bash.” I muttered into the cell as I held it with both hands. He didn’t respond but he didn’t hang up. “Bash.” I walked away for some privacy. “Bash, please say something.” I could hear him breathing.

“Where is Jax?”

“I took his phone.”

“Why?”

“Bash please.”

“You are supposed to love me.”

“I do. I swear to God I do. I love you so much.”

“I don’t know about that. I’m confused.”

“No please come home. I’m sorry. I’m stupid.”

“I can’t come back now. I have to think.”

“Bash please just come back and talk to me?” I pleaded into the phone and looked over to see Jax watching me. I turned my back on him.

“Nina I love you so much. I don’t understand you.”

“Okay that’s fine. Just come home and I will explain.”

“I will come home tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I need to think.”

“You can think here.”

“Nina, tomorrow.”

“Sebastian I love you. I’m sorry.”

“I know. You said that.”

“Because I mean it. Say that you believe me. I am sorry.”

“I believe you. I will be home tomorrow night.”

“Okay you’re coming home tomorrow,” was all I could say.

“Yes.” His words were so final. I had to give up. I had to stop my controlled hysteria. I feared I would lose him if I pushed any further. I love Sebastian Vandevol. This is really hurting me.

The phone went dead. He was gone. I turned around. Jax was right behind me listening and for once he didn’t have that ridiculous smirk on his face. I handed his cell phone back over to him.

He took it from me. “Nina, it’s okay. He’ll be back tomorrow right?”

“Yes.”

“Just take some Ambien and sleep until he comes back.”

Why did that sound like the best idea ever? “You have Ambien?”

“Yes, I will give you one for now.”

“Okay.” I wanted to tell Jax that he could give me the entire bottle because there was no chance I would try to kill myself over any man. Even the greatest man, Bash. I couldn’t. Jax was already looking at me like I was about to jump out of a window.

“Got to bed and I will have Isabelle bring it to you with a glass of water.”

“Okay.”

“Isabelle!” Jax yelled out. It startled me. I was a ball of nerves. He moved toward the kitchen and walked away from me. I overheard him speaking Spanish to Isabelle but I had no idea what he was saying.

I walked up the stairs one step at a time and I really needed to sleep. If I didn’t, I would obsess about whether or not Bash would dump me as soon as he got home. I was going to have to find somewhere to stay. I had just got a tenant in my condo and they had just signed a lease. Shit! I just want to go to sleep.

If he had accused me of committing a heinous crime what would I have done? He told me he loved his wife on more than one occasion so why would I even think he did something to her? Bash could never hurt anyone. That’s just dumb as hell. He doesn’t even kill spiders.

I predicted this heartache and here it is.

SEBASTIAN

I’m conflicted. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I hated having to drive all the way out here. This was a four-hour drive. I hadn’t been here for three years. I had good reason. My life was on track. I had fallen in love with Nina.

Tonight, none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was now, this moment, this dull void that had come from the depths of me. It was all open road, my thoughts and the man I am. I didn’t recognize me. I don’t recognize the force that had me out here driving to hell.

I was always cautious of course. I always made sure I wasn’t being followed. I was probably free and clear of all suspicion at this point but it didn’t matter.

Andy Graziano had taught me well. He let me in on his secret and I promised to take it to the grave. I’m not sure why I can’t just turn around and go home. Why not let sleeping whores lie? Why bother? I guess Nina’s interrogation stirred something in me. It riled me. It made me angry all over again. It made me relive the past, a past I tried to bury, and a past that refused to stay in the fucking past.

My phone vibrated and I took my eyes off the road to glance at the screen.

“Answer.” I said it out loud. My voice activated my cell to answer the call. “Andy.”

“Vander.”

“Yeah.”

“I got a text from my godson.”

“Damn Jax!”

“Bro, where are you?”

“You know where I’m headed.”

“I think you need to turn around.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Buddy don’t go down this road. Leave that excess baggage in the past. If you‘d let me take care of this a long time ago we wouldn’t be revisiting it now. Caroline is dead.”

“I know that.”

“If you know that, turn your fucking car around.”

“I can’t.”

“Fuck Bash! I just arrested a teen that was planning to join ISIS and blow up a fucking shopping mall. The Feds and Homeland will be here any minute. I’ve had zero sleep. I really don’t have time for this right now.”

“I don’t need you to babysit me.”

“Look brother, what happened at home? Just talk to me. What happened to set you off?”

“Nina asked me if I killed Caroline.”

“You didn’t kill the crazy bitch. So what’s the problem?”

“She asked.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I don’t remember. There was yelling.”

“Did you hit her?”

“Of course not.”

“Where is she? Where’s Nina?”

“She’s at home.”

“Your home?”

“Yes, my home.”

“Vander-fucking-vol turn your fucking car around. Go home. Fuck your girlfriend and go to sleep.”

“I’m almost there.”

“Turn the fucking car around now!” I was listening to him. I always did. He had valid points I couldn’t deny. “Vander! Not today!”

“Fuck you! Fine.”

“Right, fuck me. Take your dumb ass home. Take off your panties. This girl is all in your head. I know you love her but get a fucking grip. Handle your girlfriend’s mouth.”

“Fine.”

I hit the button on the steering wheel to end the call. My mind agreed with Graziano. I should go back home but my body refused to do that. Or was it my mind.

I couldn’t do it. I had to reach my destination. No one came here, no one. The general public was unaware that this place existed. It was a secret that was only shared by a few trusted people. The people in power and sometimes people like me. I was trusted because of Andy. I was free and clear because of my connection to him and a few other cops I grew up with.

Graziano helped people in need, people with massive problems. I had a problem years ago. I could have easily been railroaded and framed for my wife disappearance and possible murder. My longtime friend made sure that didn’t happen. I owe him a shitload. He kept me sane when I could have just put a bullet in my brain.

My kids needed their father. I was a shitty father but I was present. I was there. Graziano made sure of that. I was far away from home when I arrived at the ranch, compound. It looked like a big farm to me. I pulled up to the gates far off the beaten path.

I didn’t honk. I knew I was being watched via close circuit TV. The gates opened within seconds to let me in. I drove inside and pulled to the main house. It was pretty dark out here although the grounds had night lamps posted throughout.

Dust blew all around my car. I waited for someone to approach my car, getting out without an invitation was frowned upon. I didn’t want to be shot. I rolled down my window and waited.

A beautiful Native American woman in a cowboy hat, jeans and cowboy boots approached me.

“Hey there. Long time no see Mr. X.” She remembered me. I remembered her too. When Andy first bought me here he fucked her while I waited. She was older but looked exactly the same as I remembered.

“Yes it’s been a long time.”

“We have been taking good care of your horse.”

“That’s why I’m here, to check on my horse.”

“Of course. Come on in.”

I got out of my car. I followed her up the porch steps.

“Mr. Q told me you might drop by?”

“He knows me all too well.”

She giggled. “Yes sir. He knows us all.”

I followed her inside and I started to remember her story. She was an underage prostitute that Graziano took off the streets. He found her when she was thirteen. He made her go to school and take care of his ailing mother. She’s the caretaker of this place. She’s a registered nurse. She has two of his kids. Her name is Moon. She is loyal to Andy. A lot of people are loyal to him.

Andy claimed he never touched her until she was twenty-four. He has never lied to me. I was inclined to believe him. He told me she seduced him. He was so fucked up by it; he paced the floors of my den for about two hours. Of course I was sworn to secrecy. He wasn’t the type to cheat on his wife. But it happened and he had a soft spot for this girl that turned into a woman.

Graziano was many things but he would never hurt a child. He has a hatred for criminals that harmed children. It stemmed from something deep inside him. It was something he never shared with me. He had put many child murderers and plenty of pedophiles behind bars. He even killed a few and buried their bodies.

I followed Moon through the house and out to the back where the brown and gray barn stood. We passed a Mexican ranch hand with a gun strapped to a holster under his arm. He nodded at us both and disappeared around the barn.

I followed Moon into the barn. We passed the stench of many horses. We walked up the stairs that led us down to more stairs that led us into a hidden subbasement that was under the barn.

This place was so big that it spun below and across the land. It was dark in the halls and Moon had the place memorized. We passed many iron bars that required keys. Moon had the key to every lock. I felt a pinch of déjà vu as we made our way in the darkness. This place was old. It needed to be upgraded but I guess if it wasn’t broke why fix it. I had to see my horse.