The Twelve Dates of Christmas (15 page)

‘You’ve
always
had a thing for me?’ she breathed. Prospects for Penny were decreasing. That still didn’t mean she could swoop in. She raised her eyes to his collar, to the triangle of bare skin below his neck. Her heart thudded and all she could think about was putting her lips against that triangle.

‘Yep. And I’ve been a chicken for all these years. And it’s Christmas. And Seth’s finally out the way – sorry.’ He fake-coughed, ‘
Not sorry
.’

Her thumb twitched under his hand and she traced his palm with it. It was a deliberately defiant move by her hormones, which made fireworks shoot about inside her chest.
You like me. I like you. But my best friend likes you, too.

‘Claudia? What do you think?’

What did she think? That she wanted to touch him, to grip the hand she was stroking, to jump over the table and onto his lap and kiss the hell out of him. But she had better not. STOP.

She looked up and into his nervous eyes.

‘Don’t make me sing Mariah at you.’

Penny was always there for her. Always looking out for her. And she had her heart set on Nick, and on having a baby with him, and him being the key to making her dreams come true. The thought of it being her that took this away made Claudia feel wretched.

‘Claud, how do you feel?’

She sighed, feeling all the sorrow in the world and opened her mouth to turn him down. What else could she do?

‘Nick …’

‘Hey guys.’ Nick and Claudia snatched their hands apart as if the sparks between them had lit a flame. Next to the table, a quizzical look on her face, stood Penny. ‘What’s going on?’

In a matter of seconds Claudia had wiped clean the shock and painted a thick layer
of imaginary cover-up over her guilty face. She dragged on a smile.
Nothing will show
.

‘Hi Penny,’ she said, and then turned straight to the girl at her friend’s side.

‘Hi, I’m Claudia. I kind of recognise you: do you guys work together?’ she babbled, her heart thudding, desperate to distract Penny from the situation.

‘Yes – I’m a physio at the company. I’m Jada.’

‘Well it’s so good to meet you.’

‘You too, Penny was just telling me that you and I might be working together soon.’

‘I don’t think I need a physio. Because of the Insanity workout? To be honest, I haven’t exactly stuck to the regime …’

‘No, I mean backstage, at the Royal Ballet.’

‘Ah, of course.’
Plonker
. ‘Yes, that might happen, maybe … By the way Penny, you look lovely.’

‘Thanks.’ Was Penny looking at her strangely? Did she know something was going on? ‘So what are you guys doing here, all alone?’

‘Well,’ started Nick with a big grin on his face. ‘I was just telling Claud—’

‘We were just having a good catch-up and telling jokes and things,’ Claudia jumped in lamely. ‘But I am
full
. I think we should get the bill.’ She smiled at Nick who looked baffled, as if he were trying to figure out a difficult answer in a pub quiz.

‘Stay for a little bit. Jada and I are just grabbing a milkshake – they’re so good here. We’ll join you.’ Yeah right, she was totally saying ‘
We’ll keep an eye on you
’. ‘Hi Nick.’ Penny gave him a warm smile and lashings of eye contact. Claudia’s insides tightened.

‘I remember you from the Christmas party, Claudia, you were pretty hammered,’ Jada teased.

‘Yep, that was me.’

‘Before you fell off that table you were killing it in
the dance-off. Sorry, Penny, but I think Claudia won that.’

‘No way, I didn’t win anything, Penny deserved to win,’ Claudia insisted.

‘It’s okay, I accept defeat. I am second best.’

‘No, you’re not, you are not second best. I’m not taking anything away from you.’

‘I believe you.’ Penny looked at her directly, but Claudia couldn’t hold the eye contact.

Saved by the waitress: ‘Can I get you ladies anything?’

‘Yes, please, can we get four chocolate milkshakes?’ Penny grinned at the group.

‘Actually, do you have eggnog?’ Nick asked. The waitress nodded. ‘Get in! Can I have eggnog instead please?’

‘Ooo, me too, I’ve never tried it,’ cried Claudia. ‘No, hang on, I
will
have a milkshake, if Penny says they’re good. She knows best – this girl has amazing taste,’ she told Jada.

‘Have eggnog, have whatever you want, my treat,’ said Penny.

‘Um … no, I value your opinion and your feelings as a friend.’
Okay, stop it.
She was desperately drowning her guilt under a waterfall of gushing hero-worship, and all three of them were starting to look at her strangely.

‘Well, thanks.’ Penny laughed it off. ‘Now come on, what are you two up to? What’s the big secret?’

There was definitely an edge to her voice.

‘We had some terribly important things to talk about,’ said Nick. Claudia widened her eyes at him.
Please don’t say anything, please.

Suddenly Penny visibly lit up, and she leaned in to Nick. ‘Important things, huh? Sounds … important. Life-changing.’

Oh, Penny
. How could Claudia tell her that no, she hadn’t been about to ask if Nick liked Penny, because she already knew the answer? Claudia tried to pull Penny’s attention away, but she was staring at Nick like a teenager at a One Direction concert.

Where had those lusty eyes come from? Was it the procreation
hormones zipping around Penny’s body that made her sumptuous and predatory? Claudia tried to imitate her expression but Nick glanced over and caught her. The shame.

‘Have you talked about these
things
yet?’ Penny pressed Nick.

‘We were just getting to it.’

Penny turned to Claudia, all of a sudden her eyes glittering full beam and struggling to control an enormous grin from taking over her face. ‘Shall I go?’

‘No, stay, please stay,’ said Claudia.
Coward
.

The milkshakes and eggnog were delivered and Claudia focused on the cold, creamy liquid. She took a massive, noisy slurp through the fat straw and looked up to see Penny smiling at her.

‘Claudia, you look stunning tonight, you’re glowing.’

‘Glowing? No. It’s really hot in here and I’m totally dressed for snow. It’s just sweat.’
And nerves and fear and panic that you’ll see through me and find out what a betraying harlot I am.

‘No, you just look happy, like you have your sparkle back. Like somehow you’ve gotten over the worst of Seth.’ She stared at Claudia for a moment then turned to Nick. ‘Doesn’t she look gorgeous?’

‘I’d do her.’

‘Nick! Oh my God, sorry Jada.’
Sorry Penny
. He was chuckling, no idea he was piggy-in-the-middle to two romance-starved women.

Claudia polished off her milkshake in record speed and stood, pulling on her coat. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go. It was good to meet you Jada.’ She pulled a twenty-pound note out of her purse.

‘You’re going?’ Nick said. ‘Shall I come with you?’

‘No, you finish your eggnog, I have … plans.’
Please don’t say anything right now, Penny
.

‘Yes, you’re meeting Mikael!’ said Penny.

‘You’re meeting Mikael?’ Jada fanned herself.

‘You’re meeting Mikael?’ asked Nick.

‘Woo-wee, you’re in for a treat, he’s HOT.’ said Jada.

‘He’s not that hot,’ grumbled Nick.

‘I don’t think he’s that hot,’ said Penny, smiling at Nick. ‘But Claudia will – she could use some male model right now.’

‘He is
so
not a male model; he’s all lanky and stupid,’ Nick sulked.

Claudia stood there awkwardly. She hated leaving things like
this, but it was easier to run away than have the rest of ‘the talk’. ‘I said I’d be there … I better go.’ She apologised with her eyes and hoped with all her heart that Nick understood.

He handed the twenty back to her. ‘You don’t have to pay, I’ve got it.’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Penny and Jada were watching them. ‘It’s not like this is a date or anything.’ She hated saying it; she knew it would hurt Nick but she had to make sure Penny knew.

‘Right.’ Nick went back to his eggnog.

She said her goodbyes and turned to leave, feeling wretched. He must hate her.

‘Wait, Claudia,’ said Nick. She turned back. He was holding out his glass with a gentle smile. ‘Before you go, you have to try some eggnog, otherwise … Christmas won’t like you any more.’

‘You are not a ballerina.’

Claudia turned on her stool in the crowded pub and smiled at the tall Romanian glowering down at her. His arms were folded and his square-cut features were so still Claudia wondered for a moment if he was posing for an imaginary perfume advert.

‘No, not any more.’ She held out her hand. ‘I’m Claudia.’

‘No, I can see you are not a ballerina. Your body is not like a ballerina. Penny said you are a ballerina.’ He ignored her hand and sat down on the stool opposite with a sigh. ‘Oh well. I am Mikael. You know that, of course. You have seen me in
The Nutcracker
, I hope.’

Why am I here?
‘Yes, I saw it last week. Penny was fantastic, as graceful as always.’

Mikael waited.

‘And my friend Nick …’
He’s lovely. He’s much hotter than you.
‘He built such amazing set pieces.’ Claudia took a slow sip of her drink, admiring the gold foil garlands strung around the pub. She could feel Mikael’s steely eyes willing her an early death.

It was too awkward; she caved.

‘And you were great.’ She loathed herself. She didn’t even remember him.

‘Yes,’ he agreed. Having got what he wanted he asked with minimal interest, ‘And you do what?’

‘I work in Edurné’s, the dancewear shop in Covent Garden.’ Mikael shrugged. ‘You don’t know it? I’m surprised. It’s very popular; all the
best
dancers go there.’ Ha.

‘Of course I know it, but I don’t remember the shop assistants.’

Well played, Mikael. Nope, no more wasting time on rubbish dates. Being single was far more desirable than being put through this. She gulped the rest of her cranberry juice and was about to make her excuses when the last person she wanted to see walked in.

‘All right sexyyyy?’ Seth boomed across the pub. He was wearing
a Santa hat and had glassy eyes, and he gave Claudia a pat on the head, his hand slipping to her right boob, as a greeting. He looked from Mikael to Claudia and back to Mikael. ‘You’re handsome.’ Mikael nodded.

Seth leaned over the table and winked at Claudia, his beery breath filling her face. He became serious. ‘Claudy. I miss your body in the mornings. You look lovely first thing, pottering about in the nod, doing your make-up.’

Claudia was stunned. Where had that come from? Seth never said such nice things. Ever.

Seth stood back upright and turned to Mikael. ‘She’s awesome, mate. Fantastic in bed too, when she’ll give it to you. She does this thing—’

‘SETH!’ For just a millisecond she’d believed he might have changed. She grabbed her coat. ‘Thanks Mikael, it’s been a riot.’

Seth nudged Mikael. ‘Just don’t expect it too often. Her sex drive’s got an expiration date!’ he snorted with laughter and Claudia shoved him out of her way. She tumbled from the pub and into the busy night. The Strand was heaving with Christmas-party revellers and joyful theatre-goers, all sparkly dresses and slipping heels on the icy pavement, causing whoops and squeals to peal out across the West End.

‘You’re such a shit.’ She said it aloud, banging her fist on a brick wall. ‘You’re both such shits.’ What an evening; constantly walking on eggshells. If she could have anything in the world right now, anything at all, it would be for everyone else to disappear, so she could just be alone with the one person she knew she had to forget.

‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ blared out of her coat pocket and she pulled out her phone. And there he was: Nick. Perfect. ‘What?’

‘What?!’ he yelled back, surprised.

‘What, Nick?’ A sniffle escaped. Damn it.

‘What’s wrong? What happened?’

A heavy breath escaped her and whirled about in front of her face in the frosty air. She was getting very tired of covering up her feelings. ‘I just … don’t want to be on a blind date right now.’ She knew what she was really saying here. Did he?

Seconds passed. She couldn’t speak any more. She willed him to say something that would make everything fall into place, but what could he say?

‘Where are you?’ he said quietly.

‘Trafalgar Square.’

‘I’m coming for you.’

‘Meet me at the Christmas tree?’

He hung up and Claudia slowly lowered the phone. What was she doing?
This was dangerous. Dangerous, friendship-rocking, friendship-breaking territory. She made her way to the capital’s biggest tree, twenty metres tall and adorned with a night-sky of white fairy lights. She hugged herself against the wind chill and let the softly piped carols blow away the horrible non-date.
Silent night, holy night.

Minutes later, strong, warm arms spun her round and enveloped her in one swift move. She pushed her face into Nick’s chest and breathed him in. He smelt of Hugo Boss and hot chestnuts, his torso as warm as a log fire against her nose. She peeled herself back enough to glance up at him.

He smiled, breathing heavily. ‘You’re such a cry-baby at the moment,’ he said tenderly.

‘Why are you panting, you big pervert?’

‘I ran, of course.’

Of course
.

It was unspoken, but their feelings for each other were as loud as Big Ben. Claudia rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her forehead against Nick’s mouth. He kissed her, his breath tickling through her hair.

All is calm, all is bright.

Eleven o’clock the following night and Claudia was outside the Opera House on her own – again – looking like a right lemon. She could have gone inside, but then she might have run into Penny – again. This way she could stare at the door like a total stalker and grab Nick as he came out.

Last night she’d walked away from him with an ‘I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow.’ It was about as late into tomorrow as it could possibly be. As much as she adored putting stuff off, he was too big a part of her life to leave hanging; it wasn’t fair.