The Two Gentlemen of Verona (8 page)

Even as one heat another heat
expels,
¹⁹⁴

Or as one nail by strength drives out another,

So the
remembrance
¹⁹⁶
of my former love

Is by a newer
object
¹⁹⁷
quite forgotten.

Is it mine eye or Valentine’s praise?

Her true perfection or my
false transgression
¹⁹⁹

That makes me
reasonless
to reason thus?
²⁰⁰

She is fair: and so is Julia that I love—

That I did love, for now my love is thawed,

Which, like a waxen image gainst a fire

Bears no impression of the thing it was.

Methinks my
zeal
²⁰⁵
to Valentine is cold,

And that I love him not as I was wont.

O, but I love his lady too too much,

And that’s the reason I love him so little.

How shall I dote on her with more
advice,
²⁰⁹

That thus
without advice
²¹⁰
begin to love her?

’Tis but her
picture
²¹¹
I have yet beheld,

And that hath dazzlèd my reason’s light:

But when I
look
on her
perfections,
²¹³

There is
no reason but
²¹⁴
I shall be blind.

If I can
check
my
erring
²¹⁵
love, I will:

If not, to
compass
²¹⁶
her I’ll use my skill.

SPEED
    Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to
Padua.
¹

LANCE
    
Forswear
²
not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not

welcome. I
reckon
this always, that a man is never
undone
³

till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some

certain
shot
be paid and the
hostess
⁵
say ‘Welcome!’

SPEED
    Come on, you madcap: I’ll to the ale-house with you

presently, where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have

five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part

with Madam Julia?

LANCE
    Marry, after they
closed in earnest
¹⁰
, they parted very

fairly
¹¹
in jest.

SPEED
    But shall she marry him?

LANCE
    No.

SPEED
    How then? Shall he marry her?

LANCE
    No, neither.

SPEED
    What, are they
broken?
¹⁶

LANCE
    No, they are both
as whole as a fish.
¹⁷

SPEED
    Why then, how
stands the matter
¹⁸
with them?

LANCE
    Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands

well with her.

SPEED
    What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

LANCE
    What a
block
²²
art thou, that thou canst not! My staff

understands
²³
me.

SPEED
    What thou say’st?

LANCE
    Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean, and

my staff under-stands me.

SPEED
    It stands under thee, indeed.

LANCE
    Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

SPEED
    But tell me true, will’t be a match?

LANCE
    Ask my dog: if he say ‘ay’, it will. If he say ‘no’, it

will. If he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

SPEED
    The conclusion is, then, that it will.

LANCE
    Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a

parable.
³⁴

SPEED
    ’Tis well that I get it so. But Lance,
how say’st thou
³⁵

that my master is become a
notable
³⁶
lover?

LANCE
    I never knew him otherwise.

SPEED
    Than how?

LANCE
    A notable
lubber
³⁹
, as thou reportest him to be.

SPEED
    Why, thou
whoreson
ass,
thou mistak’st me.
⁴⁰

LANCE
    Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.

SPEED
    I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

LANCE
    Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself

in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse: if not, thou

art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

SPEED
    Why?

LANCE
    Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to

go to the
ale
⁴⁸
with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

SPEED
    At thy service.

PROTEUS
    To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn?

To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn?

To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn.

And ev’n that
power which gave me first my oath
⁴

Provokes me to this threefold perjury.

Love bade me swear, and Love bids me forswear;

O
sweet-suggesting
Love,
if thou hast sinned,
⁷

Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it.

At first I did adore a twinkling star,

But now I worship a celestial sun.

Unheedful
vows may
heedfully
¹¹
be broken,

And he
wants wit
¹²
that wants resolvèd will

To
learn
¹³
his wit t’exchange the bad for better.

Fie, fie,
unreverend
tongue, to call
her
¹⁴
bad,

Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast
preferred
¹⁵

With twenty thousand
soul-confirming
¹⁶
oaths.

I cannot
leave
¹⁷
to love, and yet I do:

But there I leave to love where I should love.

Julia I lose, and Valentine I lose:

If I keep them, I needs must lose myself.

If I lose them,
thus find I
²¹
by their loss:

For
²²
Valentine, myself, for Julia, Silvia.

I to myself am dearer than a friend,

For love is still most precious in itself,

And Silvia — witness heaven that made her
fair
²⁵
—

Shows Julia
but a
swarthy Ethiope.
²⁶

I will forget that Julia is alive,

Remembering that my love to her is dead.

And Valentine I’ll
hold
²⁹
an enemy,

Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.

I cannot now prove
constant
³¹
to myself,

Without some treachery used to Valentine.

This night he meaneth with a
corded
³³
ladder

To climb celestial Silvia’s chamber-window,

Myself
in counsel
his
competitor.
³⁵

Now presently I’ll give her father notice

Of their
disguising and pretended flight,
³⁷

Who, all enraged, will banish Valentine,

For Turio he intends shall wed his daughter.

But Valentine being gone, I’ll quickly
cross,
⁴⁰

By some sly trick,
blunt
⁴¹
Turio’s dull proceeding.

Love,
lend
⁴²
me wings to make my purpose swift,

As thou hast lent me wit to plot this
drift.
⁴³

JULIA
    Counsel, Lucetta: gentle girl, assist me,

And ev’n in kind love, I do
conjure
²
thee,

Who art the
table
³
wherein all my thoughts

Are visibly
charactered
⁴
and engraved,

To
lesson
me and tell me some good
mean
⁵

How with my honour I may undertake

A journey to my loving Proteus.

LUCETTA
    Alas, the way is wearisome and long.

JULIA
    A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary

To
measure
¹⁰
kingdoms with his feeble steps:

Much less shall she that hath Love’s wings to fly,

And when the flight is made to one so dear,

Of such divine perfection as Sir Proteus.

LUCETTA
    Better
forbear
¹⁴
till Proteus make return.

JULIA
    O, know’st thou not his looks are my soul’s food?

Pity the
dearth
¹⁶
that I have pined in,

By longing for that food so long a time.

Didst thou but know the
inly
¹⁸
touch of love,

Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow

As seek to quench the fire of love with words.

LUCETTA
    I do not seek to quench your love’s hot fire,

But
qualify
²²
the fire’s extreme rage,

Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason.

JULIA
    The more thou damm’st it up, the more it burns.

The
current
²⁵
that with gentle murmur glides,

Thou know’st, being stopped, impatiently doth rage:

But when his fair course is not hinderèd,

He
makes sweet music with th’enamelled stones,
²⁸

Giving a gentle kiss to every
sedge
²⁹

He overtaketh in his pilgrimage,

And so by many winding nooks he strays

With willing
sport
to the
wild
³²
ocean.

Then let me go, and hinder not my course:

I’ll be as patient as a gentle stream,

And make a pastime of each weary step,

Till the last step have brought me to my love,

And there I’ll rest, as after much turmoil

A blessèd soul doth in
Elysium.
³⁸

LUCETTA
    But in what
habit
³⁹
will you go along?

JULIA
    Not like a woman,
for I would prevent
⁴⁰

The loose encounters of lascivious men:

Gentle Lucetta, fit me with such
weeds
⁴²

As may
beseem
⁴³
some well-reputed page.

LUCETTA
    Why then, your ladyship must cut your hair.

JULIA
    No, girl, I’ll
knit
⁴⁵
it up in silken strings

With twenty
odd-conceited
⁴⁶
true-love knots.

To be
fantastic
⁴⁷
may become a youth

Of greater
time
⁴⁸
than I shall show to be.

LUCETTA
    What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches?

JULIA
    That fits as well as ‘Tell me, good my lord,

What
compass
will you wear your
farthingale?
⁵¹
’

Why, ev’n what fashion thou best likes, Lucetta.

LUCETTA
    You must needs have them with a
codpiece
⁵³
, madam.

JULIA
    Out, out, Lucetta! That will be
ill-favoured.
⁵⁴

LUCETTA
    A
round hose
, madam, now’s
not worth a pin
⁵⁵

Unless you have a codpiece to
stick pins on.
⁵⁶

JULIA
    Lucetta, as thou lov’st me, let me have

What thou think’st meet and is most
mannerly.
⁵⁸

But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me

For undertaking so
unstaid
⁶⁰
a journey?

I fear me it will make me
scandalized.
⁶¹

LUCETTA
    If you think so, then stay at home and go not.

JULIA
    Nay, that I will not.

LUCETTA
    Then never
dream on infamy
⁶⁴
, but go.

If Proteus like your journey when you come,

No matter who’s displeased when you are gone:

I fear me he will scarce be pleased
withal.
⁶⁷

JULIA
    That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear:

A thousand oaths, an ocean of his tears,

And
instances
of
infinite
⁷⁰
of love

Warrant me welcome to my Proteus.
⁷¹

LUCETTA
    All these are servants to deceitful men.

JULIA
    Base men, that use them to so base effect.

But truer stars did govern Proteus’ birth:

His words are
bonds
, his oaths are
oracles,
⁷⁵

His love sincere, his thoughts
immaculate,
⁷⁶

His tears pure messengers sent from his heart,

His heart, as far from fraud as heaven from earth.

LUCETTA
    Pray heav’n he prove so when you come to him.

JULIA
    Now, as thou lov’st me, do him not that wrong

To bear a
hard
opinion of his
truth
⁸¹
:

Only deserve my love by loving him,

And presently go with me to my chamber

To take a note of what I stand in need of,

To
furnish
me upon my
longing journey.
⁸⁵

All that is mine I leave
at thy dispose,
⁸⁶

My goods, my lands, my reputation:

Only,
in lieu thereof
⁸⁸
, dispatch me hence.

Come, answer not, but to it presently.

I am impatient of my
tarriance.
⁹⁰