The Uncertain Years (25 page)

‘Wake up, Mavis!’ Bill Adams was shaking his wife.

She sat up, disgruntled. ‘What’s up? And what on earth is that racket?’

‘We don’t know, but we’d better get downstairs. We can hear explosions. Sally and John are already up.’

Mavis scrambled out of bed and grabbed her dressing gown. ‘Don’t say the raids have started again?’

They found Bob’s parents in the garden, looking up at the sky.

‘Any idea what’s going on?’ Bill asked.

‘We just saw a plane nosedive and explode.’ John had a pair of binoculars to his eyes. ‘They’re not ordinary planes though. Here comes another one; you have a look, Bill.’

Every gun in the area opened up, and Bill watched the plane explode in the air. ‘It was impossible to get a good look at it before it was hit, but damned if I know what it is.’

When nothing else happened, Mavis gave a sigh. ‘We
invaded France a week ago, so perhaps this is Hitler’s way of getting back at us. It’s nearly dawn and no point going back to bed. Let’s put the kettle on, Sal, and get something to eat.’

It was only when they listened to the news later that they discovered that they had seen V-1 flying bombs – Hitler’s secret weapon.

The V-1s continued to come and were quickly nicknamed Doodlebugs. They all hoped their threat would cease as the Allies advanced in Europe.

Two weeks after D-Day a telegram arrived addressed to Mr and Mrs Adams. All colour drained from Mavis’s face as she turned it over and over in her hand. She handed it to her husband. ‘You open it, Bill. I can’t.’

Bob’s parents knew full well that these telegrams brought terrible news, and they stayed in the kitchen ready to support their friends. There was an air of dread in the room as they waited for Bill to read the telegram.

Finally he said huskily, ‘It’s Jim. He’s been killed in action, and they’ve informed us because he gave our names as next of kin.’

‘Oh, dear God!’ Mavis and Sally had tears running down their faces. ‘The children are going to be devastated.’

Bob’s mother put the kettle on for a comforting cup of tea. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose before filling the teapot. ‘He was like a son to us, and it’s hard to know he won’t be coming back when this dreadful war’s over. Do you think we’ll be able to bury him with his parents?’

‘No, my dear, he’ll be buried out there.’ John placed his arm around his wife’s shoulder. ‘We can put a stone
with his name on it at Pat and Harry’s grave, though.’

‘That’s a nice idea.’ Bill stood up. ‘I’ll go to Aldershot and see if I can tell Becky in person. It will be kinder, but if she’s not there I’ll have to leave a message.’

The hospital runs became less frequent after the first few days of the invasion, but a ship had docked today and they had been busy. Becky was refuelling the ambulance in case it was needed again, when the sergeant called her.

‘You’re wanted at the main gate. Look sharp about it.’

She hurried, wondering who had come to see her, and when she saw who was waiting there she broke into a run, knowing that this day was about to get worse. Her father would only have come here if something had happened.

He reached out in sympathy when he saw the dark circles of strain under her eyes. ‘Oh, my darling.’

She hugged him. ‘Tell me, Dad.’

‘I’m so sorry, but it’s bad news. Jim’s been killed.’ There was no easy way to tell her that one of her lifelong friends was dead. He gripped her arms as she swayed with the shock. ‘We’ve just received the telegram and I didn’t want you to read this in a letter.’

‘Such a terrible waste of a young life.’ She bowed her head, grief ripping through her.

‘Dreadful.’ Bill studied his daughter with concern. ‘Are you still driving ambulances?’

She nodded. ‘I’m a good driver, Dad, and that’s what I signed up to do. Any news of Will and Bob?’

‘No, but no news is good news, isn’t it? What about David?’

‘Nothing. I must go and see his family, but I haven’t had the time. We’ve been too busy.’

‘Would you like me to go round now and let them know you’ll visit as soon as you can?’

‘Thanks, Dad; they’d be pleased to see you. How are you all coping with the Doodlebugs?’

‘We’re managing.’ Bill frowned. ‘Don’t hold your grief inside, darling. Jim was precious to all of us. No one will mind if you shed a few tears.’

‘I’m drained dry of tears. All I feel at the moment is pain, anger and regret for things I should have done.’

‘I know, sweetheart. A great deal is being asked of everyone. Too much in some cases.’

She nodded. ‘Far too much. I’ve got to get back, Dad, but thanks for coming.’

Her father hugged her, and then stood back. ‘This nightmare will end, Becky. That’s what all the young men and women are fighting for.’

‘I know. Give Mum my love, and tell Sara I hope to be able to visit within the next week.’

She watched her father walk to the bus stop, then turned away. She hadn’t believed she could hurt any more, but she had been wrong. The horror and pain of losing Jim was devastating. She couldn’t get the picture of his laughing face out of her mind.

The sergeant took one look at her white face and asked, ‘Bad news?’

‘Yes, Sergeant.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘So am I,’ she said, and automatically picked up a spanner.

‘Take a break.’

‘No, Sergeant.’

‘Are you arguing with me, Corporal?’

She looked up, her mouth set in a grim line. ‘Thousands of people are in the same position. I don’t need special treatment.’

He gave a brief nod, turned on his heel and marched away. Becky didn’t know if she would be on a charge for insubordination, but she didn’t care. At this moment nothing seemed to matter.

Alice was waiting for her at the end of her duty. ‘You’ve got to eat, Becky.’

‘Everyone’s telling me what I should do,’ she grumbled as she fell into step beside her friend. ‘So don’t you start as well.’

‘Sorry.’ Alice looked harder and didn’t like what she saw. ‘You’ve had bad news?’

‘Awful.’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘I’m sorry I snapped at you, Alice, but I’m so angry! Dad came today and told me Jim’s been killed.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I liked him.’ Alice took a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her eyes.

‘We were all so close. It was as if we were one family, and it was hard enough when Jim’s parents were killed, but this is too painful.’

Placing a hand under Becky’s arm, Alice kept her distressed friend moving towards the mess. ‘We have to keep going and defeat Hitler, or all this suffering will have been for nothing. I won’t allow myself to believe that Anthony and all the others have died in vain.’

‘It isn’t that easy though, is it?’

‘Damned hard.’ Alice gave a tired sigh. ‘We’ll do it though, won’t we?’

‘Of course, what choice do we have? It’s either stay positive, or crumble under the strain.’

‘Exactly, and meals mustn’t be skipped, Becky; you’re getting too thin. People are depending on us to do our jobs.’ Alice seated her friend at a table. ‘What do you want?’

‘A large steak, medium rare, followed by strawberries and real cream.’

Alice gave a nod of respect, well aware how much the loss of Jim was hurting Becky, and on top of the difficult job she had been doing, the burden must be almost intolerable. ‘They’ve run out of steak, so I’m afraid it will have to be spam or vegetable pie.’

‘In that case it’ll have to be the pie.’

They managed to clear their plates, and instead of strawberries and cream, they finished off with a cup of tea and a cigarette. Neither girl had smoked before joining the ATS, but they had soon started, finding it relaxed them.

‘They’re showing a Laurel and Hardy film this evening. Fancy going?’ Alice asked, hoping a distraction would help her friend.

‘Might as well. I’ve been relieved of duty until tomorrow morning.’ Becky stubbed out her cigarette. ‘I really must give up this habit when the war’s over. I’m smoking far too much. I’ve got a couple of letters to write first, so I’ll see you around seven.’

The next day Becky was given the job of driving an officer. When she received the orders she was furious and stormed
up to the sergeant, suspecting this was his doing.

‘I’m quite capable of driving the ambulance, Sergeant.’ She glowered at him.

‘I know you are.’ His mouth twitched at the corners. ‘The trouble is, not many other drivers are capable of driving an officer around London. Major General Villiers has asked for you.’

‘Oh, I used to drive him quite a lot.’ The steam went out of her and she gave the sergeant an apologetic look. ‘Sorry, Sergeant. I thought you considered me unfit to continue transporting the injured to hospital.’

‘Then you were wrong. I tried to keep you here, but I can’t argue with a major general.’

Becky’s smile was the first genuine one she had managed since the invasion had begun. ‘Not a wise thing to do. I’ll need the best car we’ve got.’

‘Help yourself.’ The sergeant looked her straight in the eyes. ‘And it isn’t wise for a corporal to argue with a sergeant, but I’ll overlook it this time.’

‘Thank you, Sergeant. It won’t happen again.’ She hurried away to check over the car she wanted, glad he’d been in a good humour.

Over the next few weeks Becky became a permanent driver for different officers. Doing something she really enjoyed gave her a chance to try and come to terms with Jim’s death. It was hard to believe that the four of them wouldn’t be together again at the end of the war. There had been short notes from Will, Bob and David, and she was relieved to know they were still all right. Will had told her that he’d come across Greg and
Hal in France, and that also helped to lift her spirits.

The Allies were moving through France, and when Paris was liberated on 25th August, everyone hoped the war would be over by the end of the year. But as winter set in it became clear that wasn’t going to happen.

The Doodlebugs were less frequent now, but explosions had been taking place across south-east England, and it appeared that Hitler had another secret weapon, the V-2 rocket. Unlike the V-1, this could not be heard until it exploded on the ground, which gave no chance to take cover.

‘Damn the man,’ Becky muttered when she heard that another rocket had dropped on the outskirts of London. ‘He’s beaten, so why doesn’t he give up?’

‘It won’t be long now.’ Alice blew on her cold hands.

‘That’s what everyone keeps saying. This bitter wind is enough to cut right through you. I wish they’d let us in.’

‘It’ll be worth queuing, Becky, to see if there’s a newsreel from Will.’

‘He’s done a marvellous job, hasn’t he?’ Becky smiled proudly. ‘And do you know, I think he’s enjoyed himself. When the war started he was disappointed because the forces wouldn’t take him, but just look at what he’s achieved.’

‘Anyone can shoot a gun, but not many have his talent. He found the right job, but my goodness, he’s given us some worrying times.’

Becky chuckled. ‘Hasn’t he just! Is he still asking you to marry him?’

‘He puts it at the bottom of every letter. Just as a reminder to me not to forget, he says.’

‘Any idea what you’re going to do about him?’

There was silence for a moment, then Alice said, ‘What do you think about having me as a sister-in-law?’

Becky’s squeal of delight made people in the queue turn and stare. ‘Oh, Alice, we’ll all be delighted.’

‘You mustn’t tell Will or your family yet. We have to wait until he comes home, because I’m going to let him propose properly, then he can tell everyone the good news.’

Becky couldn’t stop smiling, so happy for her brother and Alice. ‘I promise to keep my mouth shut.’

‘What about David?’

‘I’m going to talk to him when he gets back. When I was driving the ambulance the suffering I saw tore me apart, but it also helped me to put things into their proper perspective. The wounded on those ships are all ranks, including officers. They’re all out there facing the same dangers. I’ve been worrying too much about the class difference and the fact that he is an officer.’

‘And now?’

‘I don’t care any more, and I don’t believe David ever did. I just need to be sure of his true feelings for me. Once I know that I’ll be able to decide what the right thing to do is.’

‘Thank goodness. You’re talking sense at last!’

They were both happy as the queue finally began to move into the cinema.

It had been a sad Christmas and New Year, with Becky and her family feeling the loss of Jim deeply, and not one of the boys at home to help cheer things up. Everyone was waiting for the weather to improve, and praying that 1945 would see the end of the war.

The months dragged for Becky, but finally spring arrived, and as the trees burst into life they seemed to trigger new hope. It couldn’t be long now.

Becky looked up when she heard shouting and saw Alice tearing towards her, waving her arms frantically, and hugging everyone she came near. Not a bit like the dignified Alice she knew.

‘It’s over!’ Alice threw herself at Becky and hugged her as well. ‘The bugger’s killed himself and Germany has surrendered. The eighth of May is a date we will always remember.’

‘At last!’ Becky cried as she lifted Alice off her feet in
excitement. ‘They’ll all be coming home! I must go and see David’s family.’

‘Come on,’ a group of soldiers urged. ‘There’s a party starting in the mess.’

‘Er …’ Becky glanced around, hesitating.

‘Go on.’ The sergeant was beaming, and that was not a sight they came across very often. ‘Everyone’s excused. Go and celebrate the end of the war in Europe. But while you’re doing that we mustn’t forget there’s Japan to deal with, and a lot of our boys are still in Burma.’

‘Oh, Lord.’ Alice grimaced. ‘I hope Will doesn’t decide to go out there now.’

‘He’d better not,’ Becky declared. ‘He’s got two of us to deal with now.’

It was three months later when Japan surrendered, and everyone’s thoughts began to turn to the future. Troops were pouring back and eager for demob. Alice had already said she was leaving at the earliest opportunity, but Becky was holding back until she had seen David. He might not feel the same now that the war was over, and if that turned out to be the case, she was still toying with the idea of staying in the army. She liked the life, and wasn’t sure she could settle down to working in a shop again – in fact she was positive it would be impossible to readjust to that kind of life.

David was still in Berlin, and there was no sign of him returning yet, so she would have to be patient. Will was already home and Alice had gone to meet him, but there was no sign of Bob.

Becky walked up the drive to the Hammonds’ house. Before
she reached the door, it opened and the dog made for her at speed. The animal was quite a size now and Becky managed to sidestep just in time to avoid being knocked off her feet.

‘Aha! You thought you had me that time, didn’t you?’ She bent down to make a fuss of the dog, and was sure the animal was laughing.

‘Rebecca.’ Sara joined them, her smile as wide as it could get. ‘The war’s over everywhere, and Grandma says Daddy will be coming home soon.’

‘Isn’t that exciting?’ She let the little girl pull her into the house.

Mr Hammond was not at home, but Mrs Hammond was pleased to see her. ‘Let’s have tea in the garden, shall we?’

It was a pleasant day and so peaceful in the garden. While Sara was playing with the dog, Mrs Hammond turned her attention to Becky. ‘We’re expecting David back within the next couple of weeks. He couldn’t say exactly when.’

‘I don’t suppose he knows, but it will be such a relief when things are more settled and we can start planning for the future. We’ve spent years not looking past the next day or the one after that.’

‘Yes, it’s been hard.’ She stared into space, and then back at the girl sitting next to her. ‘What are you going to do now, Rebecca?’

‘I haven’t decided yet.’

Sara had stopped running around and was now standing next to Becky, looking up at her with a worried expression on her face.

‘If you leave the army you won’t stop coming to see me, will you?’

‘Not if you want me to keep coming. I wouldn’t like it if I couldn’t see you any more.’

‘Please keep coming, Rebecca.’ She was leaning on Becky’s knees and gazing up at her. ‘We went to your house yesterday for a party.’

‘Really? I didn’t know about any party.’

‘Your parents kindly invited us,’ Mrs Hammond explained. ‘It was arranged unexpectedly to celebrate your brother’s engagement to Alice. Your father came for us himself.’

‘Oh, that’s wonderful!’ Becky was so excited. ‘I wish I could have been there, but I expect I’ll get a letter tomorrow telling me all about it.’

‘They were sorry you weren’t at home, but I believe they’re planning a huge party when they can gather you all together.’ Mrs Hammond smiled wistfully. ‘It was such a happy occasion, and we were honoured to have been included.’

‘I like your mummy and daddy,’ Sara told her. ‘They’re nice. There were two American soldiers there, and they made me laugh and they danced with me. One of them threw me right in the air, and everyone joined in. It was a lovely party.’

‘Greg and Hal were there?’ Becky asked Mrs Hammond.

‘Yes, that’s right. They’d only just arrived and had come straight round to see your family.’

Becky clasped her hands together tightly in an effort to control her emotions. ‘I’m so relieved they’re back safely. Will told me he’d seen them in France, so I knew they had got off the beaches all right, but I’ve still been worried about them. In fact I seem to have spent this entire war worrying about everyone.’

To have received two lots of good news had made Becky’s visit to the Hammonds a very happy one, and she returned to the camp absolutely delighted. She had missed that impromptu party, but they would have another one later. Alice wasn’t due back yet so she would write to her and Will tonight.

Two days later Alice arrived back at camp and Becky pounced on her, demanding all the details. She also received a letter from Will and her parents. They said that the Hammonds had been invited on the spur of the moment, and they had really enjoyed themselves. The dog came as well and had been very excited at all the attention she was given. Hal said he had a dog at home and couldn’t wait to see him again, as well as his family and friends. Her father said Greg and Hal appeared war weary, just like all the returning troops, and a boisterous gathering was just what they needed.

Alice and Will planned a Christmas wedding because Will would be going back to Berlin for a few weeks. Then he said that he had a couple of offers for broadcasting and would be considering those at a later date.

A week later Alice was demobbed, and Becky bid her a sad farewell, knowing she was going to miss her being around the camp. But she would soon be her sister-in-law, so that was a happy prospect.

She had just driven into the camp after taking an officer to the London HQ when she saw a tall officer talking to the sergeant. Her heart leapt with pleasure when he turned and smiled. There was no mistaking David, and she was overjoyed to see him home at last.

With a few long strides he was beside the car and opening the door for her. She jumped out eagerly. ‘Oh, you’re back! It’s so good to see you. Have you been home …?’

In her excitement she had momentarily forgotten where they were, and she snapped to attention. Before her hand could lift in a salute, he caught hold of her arm.

‘You don’t need to salute me.’ He turned his head to speak to the sergeant who was watching with avid interest. ‘You know what to say if you’re asked. And thank you, Sergeant.’

‘My pleasure, sir.’

‘Come with me, Rebecca. We can’t talk here.’

David’s MG was a short walk away and he opened the passenger door for her. ‘I’ll drive.’

She got in. ‘I haven’t got a pass, David. Where are we going?’

‘We’re going somewhere quiet, and you don’t need a pass – you’re with me.’

‘Ah, of course.’

He cast her an amused glance. ‘No argument about my unprofessional conduct?’

‘Not a word.’ She was far too happy to be concerned.

‘That is progress. When are you leaving the ATS?’

‘I don’t know yet if I’m going to. I’m still trying to make up my mind, and I’ve got another two weeks to make my decision.’

He let out a pent-up breath, but he said nothing, which surprised her. Then she noticed he was gripping the steering wheel rather tightly and suddenly realised that he was nervous. Then her pleasure evaporated. He was going to tell her that he had changed his mind, and wouldn’t
be seeing her again. Perhaps he had met someone else he considered more suitable. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the journey.

He took her to Virginia Water where they had once had that lovely picnic, and after parking the car they got out and began walking. There were few people around, and those they did see smiled at them, all enjoying the warm sunshine and the fact that the long war was finally over.

When they reached a secluded spot, David stopped and turned her to face him. Becky took a silent deep breath and waited, sure this was the moment he was going to tell her he had changed his mind about her.

‘When I met you at the recruitment office I thought you were lovely, intelligent and lively, but so young and innocent. Just over five years of war have changed you into a beautiful woman. All the way through France and into Berlin, I have cursed my stupidity for the clumsy way I proposed to you. When I told you that my feelings for you were attraction, and that I didn’t want to love again, I was lying, not only to you, but to myself as well. I tried to tell myself that I was acting for the benefit of my daughter, but that was nonsense. She couldn’t have more loving grandparents to care for her, and I know they would have been very willing to bring her up if I hadn’t survived the war.’

When she started to speak he stopped her.

‘No, let me finish. I’ve loved you from the moment you smiled at me the first time we met, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you. Please marry me, Rebecca. I love you so much.’

It took her a brief moment to take in what he had just
said, and then with tears of joy in her eyes, she nodded. ‘I’ve also been doing some hard thinking, and I realised that my worries about you being from the officer class were silly. Once I had come to my senses about that, all I needed to know was that you love me. So yes, I will marry you, David.’

She was swept into a fierce embrace, neither of them caring that they were in a public place and might be seen.

‘Thank God,’ he said, his voice husky with relief. ‘I felt sure that I had ruined any chance I might have had.’

They were both smiling now, and Becky admitted, ‘I also thought I had lost my chance with you, and that you were about to tell me you’d changed your mind.’

‘We both nearly made a terrible mess of this, didn’t we?’ he said wryly. ‘Thank heavens we came to our senses in time.’

‘I would have regretted it all my life if I had walked away from you and Sara. When I was driving the ambulance and saw so much suffering, I was filled with regret that I had let you go without telling you how much I loved you.’

‘Well, that’s all behind us now, my darling, and we can start planning for the future. We’ll go and tell Sara and my parents first, then straight round to your family.’

Sara had been attending school for the past two years, and had grown a lot since Becky had first met her. She was beginning to look like her father now as she ran to greet them when they arrived.

David ushered everyone into the lounge, and then stooped down to his daughter. ‘We’ve got something to tell you, sweetheart. Rebecca has just agreed to marry me.’

Becky was shaking with nerves. How would Sara take the news? Would she object? They got on well together,
but how would she feel about another woman being in her father’s life? Would she be jealous?

‘Umm …’ Sara was looking from one to the other. ‘Does this mean Rebecca will be living with us all the time?’

‘It does, sweetheart, and when I move around, you and Rebecca will be able to come with me and live in the officers’ quarters.’

Suddenly the girl was hugging her father, and then rushing to Becky to do the same. ‘You won’t have to leave us now. Whoopee!’

Becky sagged with relief.

‘I think she approves,’ David laughed.

‘And so do we!’ Becky was kissed and hugged by David’s parents, then Mrs Hammond said, ‘This is what we had hoped for, but my goodness you two really did keep us waiting.’

Mr Hammond took a bottle of champagne out of the sideboard and placed it by glasses already laid out. ‘We’ve discussed what we would do if you did marry Rebecca, David, and we’re giving you this house as a wedding present. We shall be moving out.’

‘Oh, but you mustn’t!’ Becky was alarmed. ‘This is your family home.’

‘Rebecca’s right. We shall be away for long periods; you must continue to live here.’

‘No.’ Mrs Hammond shook her head. ‘We’ve made up our minds.’

‘But where will you go?’

Mr Hammond filled the glasses and handed them around. ‘Have you forgotten, David, that at the end of the garden is that parcel of land my father bought, and we’ve
never done anything with it? We’re going to build ourselves a new house there. The plans have been in place for some time, and now would be a good time to go ahead.’

David’s frown smoothed out. ‘I had forgotten that. Well, if you are determined to do this, then we will accept your very generous gift, won’t we, Rebecca?’

She nodded, quite overcome. ‘I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems so inadequate.’

‘Thank you will do, my dear.’ Mr Hammond appeared to be very satisfied.

‘However, we insist you stay here until the new house is ready for occupation,’ David said.

‘Agreed.’ Mrs Hammond smiled and held up her glass. ‘We are delighted at the news, and we wish you both a long and happy life together.’

‘I’ll drink to that.’ David touched his glass to Becky’s, and placed an arm around her waist.

Sara had been given a glass of orange juice so she could join in the toast, and she watched her father and Becky over the rim of her glass. ‘Will I call you mummy now?’ she asked Becky.

‘Only if you want to, but it’s quite all right for you to carry on calling me Rebecca if you prefer.’

‘Hmm, I’ll think about it. What will your brother be to me after you’ve married Daddy?’ Sara was clearly thinking this all through.