The Undesirable (Undesirable Series) (13 page)

“I want to destroy Maxwell Cooper,” Willa says after a long moment. “And I will make sure that happens. Believe me.”

I nod in agreement.

With each step, I watch the white farmhouse on the SSR’s property come closer into view. The farmhouse gleams and glints in the Canadian summer sun. I wipe the sweat beads on my forehead and decide we had a good run. Morris and Thompson wait for us to return on the front porch. About 40 steps away from the wood porch, I see the cross expression on Thompson’s face and the grave expression on Morris’. I have never spoken to Morris, but I can tell right away that something is wrong. The wrinkles on the old man’s face deepen as we get closer to him.

Oh God. Not good.

Willa and I come to a slow stop once we’re in front of the wide wooden steps of the front porch. I put my hands on my hips and narrow my eyes at Morris and Thompson. Willa speaks before I do.

“What is it?” she demands in between gasps for air.

Thompson glances from her to me and then back again. “It’s Harrison Corners,” he says after a long moment. “We have some news from there. Not good news.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

My face pulls into a tight line the same second all the muscles in my legs start to shake. I take a deep breath.

Thompson barrels ahead with his words, as I stand speechless on the walkway. “One of our spies managed to get a message to us,” he exhales. “I’m sure you’re not surprised that The Party searched for you pretty hard for the last few weeks.”

Fostino.

I swallow and my tongue expands in the back of my throat. The sun beats down on us while Thompson talks.

“Of course they can’t find you,” he continues. “So they’re getting pretty angry. Rounding people up. Punishing people. Counts, camps, killings. The whole bit.”

Fostino.

I am seconds away from crying, but I hold it back. Instead, I put my hands on my knees and focus on the gravel. Thompson’s next words pulse through my ears even though he keeps his tone of voice even.

“And there’s more. We have it on good authority they plan to liquidate the whole town in the next three to four days if they don’t find you, Charlotte. No more Harrison Corners.”

Fostino.

My stomach churns. My knees tremble. Any second I will collapse onto the gravel rocks.

What will happen to Fostino? Is he still alive? What about his family? God, why didn’t I tell him the truth? And what about the rest of my hometown?

“You okay?” he asks in a coarse voice. Wilson walks down the stairs and puts a hand on my back. I shake my head and pull myself upright.

“No, I’m not okay,” I cry out and it comes out as a shout. “This is not okay. Everyone I know is going to die!” I don’t even bother to wipe the sogginess on my face away. I know my face turns red. I don’t care. The three of them stand there for a few moments.

“I’m not going to sit here and do nothing,” I insist after a while. “Not if we know this. Not now.”

Thompson keeps his voice even, steady. “We aren’t doing ‘nothing’. We have people on the inside. You know that. We’re getting the people out of Harrison Corners that we can.”

“Like who?”

“Some of our people, of course, and people that we know are sympathetic to us.” Thompson’s eyebrows knit together and he scratches his forehead. “Everything that happened in Harrison Corners since The Party reopened Coleman Athletic has caused some new people to come over to our side.” He crosses his arms across his chest. “In a way, I guess that’s a good thing.”

“What about Fostino?” I ask.

“What about him?” Thompson says. He and I stare at each other; in an instant, it’s as if we are the only two people on the farmhouse porch. “He’s a member of the Homeland Guard, right? He’s part of The Party. We don’t save Party members. Especially if a whole town is being eliminated by The Party.”

Several beats pass. I’m the one to break the silence.  

“We need to save Fostino,” I plead. “We have to go back there and get him out. This is not right. We have to do something!” Then, I take a deep breath. Thompson, Morris, and Willa regard each other. Their blank faces give them away.

They don’t want to save him. 

“He can’t die.” My voice rises with every word. My anger grows. “No way. Absolutely not. Unacceptable.”

“It’s unacceptable for us to risk everything on a member of The Party. He’s in the Homeland Guard. We did a check on him when we found out about you. He’s a true believer.”

I shake my head. “He’s not. I know he’s not.”

“How do you know that?” asks Willa. I snap my head over to her as I remember that she and the others are hearing every word of this argument. She has folded her arms across her chest, too.

I look from her to the rest of the group. “He might seem like one, but I know he’s not. He questions things. He’s conflicted. He’s not just going to follow everything The Party says.”

“When I read his file, he looked pretty much like he wanted to follow The Party.” Thompson shrugs. “So he’s a confused kid. I’m not sure that means we should risk everything.”

I put my hands on my knees and take a few deep breaths. Then, I summon all the strength inside me to stand up and look at each one of them. “Look, before I met you all, but after my mother died, I didn’t have anyone.
No one
.” With each word, my resolve grows stronger. “Fostino took care of me. He broke the rules. He gave me food, found me a safer place to stay, and he worried about me. He didn’t ask for anything in return. No one ever did something like for me. Not my mother. Not anyone.” By the time I say the last sentences, the words don’t scare me. “He loved me. He showed me what love really is. You can’t tell me someone like that is a true believer.” 

“Okay. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, he does come with over to our side. What about his parents, and his sister?” Thompson breaks the trio’s silence. “Her name’s Farrah, right? What about them? That’s a lot of people.”

I grit my teeth and take a few purposeful steps toward the porch. After I walk up the stairs, I take a moment to meet them all in the eyes. I’m determined. I have to save Fostino. I will save Fostino.

I love him.

“I know you want me to join the SSR and I wanted to, too, but I won’t do it unless we go back. We have to go back for Fostino. At least. I’ll go back alone to get him and his family if I have to. I have to warn them.” I walk in the house and slam the wooden front door before I hear their reply.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Trina darkens the doorframe to my room about an hour later. I have taken a place on the sparse twin bed where I count the tiles on the floor. I know its Trina because her silver slip-on shoes enter my peripheral vision. She sits down on the bed beside me even though I don’t acknowledge her. I’ve cried so much in the last hour I can’t cry anymore. I sniffle and try to count the wooden boards on the floor underneath the rug. 

“You really do love him, don’t you?” she whispers. I shrug. “We talked about him while you guys went running. We didn’t know if you really did love him. We figured the whole thing might just be some school kid crush.” She puts a hand on my left leg.

“Well, I didn’t know for sure, not when I left him.” I choke out the words. “But it’s different now. I can’t leave him and his family there to die. I love him. I really do.” I bite my lip. “God. Why didn’t I realize this before?” My thoughts pound in my head like an anvil on metal.

I should never have left Fostino in Harrison Corners. I should have told him the truth and stayed, no matter what the risk. Why didn’t I tell him I love him?

I should be with him now.

My heavy, raw eyes hurt, and so does the back of my neck. The muscles tense and twist. I put my head in my hands once again.

“It’s wrong. We have the information. We can’t stay here and do nothing,” I say through my hands. “He might die. His parents might die. Farrah might die. I can’t leave them there, not when The Party will kill everyone! I—”

“So?” Her next words don’t come out fast. Her hand still rests on my leg. “What would you suggest we do?”

“Go back,” I manage through the muffle. “I’m going back. I am.” I take my hands off my face and turn to her for the first time since she entered this room.

“That won’t be easy. We had a tough time getting you out of Harrison Corners the first go around.” Trina’s mouth falls into a hard line and it ages her face further. She raises an eyebrow to drive home her point. “It’s very dangerous. You just don’t know.”

I throw up my hands, too tired to bear the weight of my life. I am tired of acting like an adult; I am sick of my responsibility for everything and everyone.

It’s too much.

“You all keep on saying I’m valuable to the SSR. I don’t care. It doesn’t mean anything to me unless Fostino is safe.” This time, I raise an eyebrow. My voice is firm. “It’s not fair to save other people and not save him and his family.”

Trina pushes a few strands of my hair out of my face with her right hand. I sniffle.

“Haven’t you ever loved anyone?” I whisper.

She nods and does not need to fill in the silence with her story.

“I don’t know what we’ll find if we go back,” she cautions. “This is very risky. Really risky.”

“I don’t care.” All I can think of is Fostino’s strong jaw and the moment he touched me for the first time. I just want to fall into his arms again. 

I should have never left. I should have never left. I should have never left.

“What do the others say about it?”

“Not much.” Trina sighs.

“While I sat here, I realized something.” My chest heaves. “If we go back and get Fostino, I think we can get him to join the SSR.” I sniffle again. Salty tears cover my bottom lip. “I’m serious. He’d be good for us. He’s smart, and he knows a lot about The Party.  But how can I convince them?” The last words slide out as my voice cracks.

“I’ve already told them I think your love for Fostino isn’t a childhood crush. They know how much he means to you.” Trina gulps. “But this is all very unusual for us. We don’t bend our rules like this. You know, Charlotte, it all comes with a price.”

Don’t I know it?

“Who cares what it costs?” It comes out as a whisper. I stand up to put some distance between her and me, folding my arms across my chest.

“Well, what if it costs you your life?” she says, and then bites her lip. “What will that do to our cause?”

A long moment passes while I find the words for my answer. When I open my mouth to speak, someone else interrupts me.

“Jesus, you’re a stubborn little one, huh?” Thompson says from the doorframe. “And sometimes you really remind me of your father.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Trina whirls around, even though she still sits on the bed. She frowns even deeper. “How long have you stood there, Thompson?” she demands.

“Long enough,” he says. He directs his next words at me and I think he sounds annoyed. “Sometimes I wonder why I allowed all this. You’ve complicated our work in ways you don’t understand.”

“What do you mean, I remind you of my father?”

“You can be very persuasive. Just like he is.” Thompson smirks. “Willa, Glenn, and I talked about this whole idea. Ready to hear what we think?”

“Yes.” I have never been more ready to hear anything in my life. “Tell me.”

“If you do this, if you make it back here, it’ll probably be a miracle.” He leans one shoulder up against the wooden white doorframe.

“Okay,” I concede. I nod. I expected this. 

“We’ll take you to see Drew Morgan if you get back.” He takes a small step forward. “
When
you come back here. He already wants to see you, since we went to so much trouble. While you’re gone, I’m going to figure out what we do with you next.”

“Go on,” I say. I am ready to risk and do what it takes.

“Two people go back. You and one other person. We can’t afford to send you alone. It’s too dangerous and I don’t think you’re ready by yourself. What you do when you get to Harrison Corners is up to you. We’ll give you a few guns, some supplies, a Humvee, some stamps, a couple of backpacks, a map of the safe houses, and an outline of secure areas along the way.” He studies me for a moment. “It’s up to you to get there and then get back here safe and sound. We will not come after you; we won’t rescue you from Harrison Corners again.”

“Fine,” I say, and this prompts Thompson to continue.

“Like I told you, there are other members of the SSR who will be doing things to rescue people in town.” He points his index finger at me. “You are not to interfere with any of that. At all. No matter what you come across.”

“Okay,” I reply. “I’m fine with that. When do we leave?”

“Are you sure you want to do this? Absolutely sure?” Thompson wants an answer, and he wants it now. He squints at me.

I blink and don’t think about what to say next. I don’t care about the future. I don’t have one without Fostino and his family in it. “Yes.”

“Very well. You’ll need this.” He holds out his left hand and I see a silver packet of hair dye. “Probably best to go brown, and maybe trim your hair up some. Darken the eyebrows. Wear makeup. We have an ID you can carry with you. You’ll be Anna Anderson. Can’t have anyone guessing who you really are.”

“Wait, should we—” Trina stops when Thompson shoots her a look and holds up one hand.

“Anna Anderson. It will work. We’ll make it work.” He tosses the hair dye packet at me and I catch it.

“You said the liquidation would happen in the next few days,” I point out. “I think we should leave now.”

Thompson shakes his head. “Not now. Not this afternoon. We need to wait until tonight, when we can cross the water with less risk.”

“Right,” Trina says. “They should use the speedboat.”

“I think it’s best to cross at Bar Point, and then hit Michigan at East Lead. From there, the turnpike is a short distance. I already talked to the contact over there. They’ll have a car waiting right up against the shoreline.”

“Won’t the speedboat be loud?”

“Yes, it will be, but that’s the one way to get across the border.” Thompson throws up a dismissive hand. He has already thought of this.

“We’ve done the research. We own a few safe houses over there. The Party does not patrol it well. Spotty at best.” Trina runs a hand through the speckled strands of grey and brown hair.