The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B (18 page)

“Amazing, huh?” said Wonder Woman, who had bounced out of her chair to join them. “Did you get any
superhero sompin’ sompin’?” She winked at Snooki. Wonder Woman smiled but her eyes still had the same haunted look that had been chasing her since before the holidays.

Adam grinned. “Yeah, but it was like a Batman beach towel and a coffee mug with the insignia, you know?” Robyn looked over. “Which was my for-sure favorite gift, actually!” he said loudly. “I’ll bring it in next week.”

“No, you goof.” Snooki gave him a playful push. “What are you going to do, threaten Gotham’s diabolical criminal element with a cup of coffee? A mug is so not a part of the Batman brand. Here!” She passed him an oddly shaped ring.

“Put it on!” insisted Wonder Woman. “It’s a Dark Knight ring and it glows in the dark with the Batman signal. Très cool, huh? Snooki and me bought it online when we got our stuff!”

“Wow, I don’t know what to …” After a few tries it fit on his index finger. “Guys, I can’t … Geez, this is—”

“Aw, save it, Batpants,” said Snooki. “It was only $6.99, but you rock it!”

“Yeah!” agreed Wonder Woman while she checked out the room. “Now there’s only Thor.”

Even though he was clear across the room, Thor heard his name and frowned. Their Thor seemed to have superhero hearing.

“Who is so clearly Thor without a need for any kind of prop or anything,” said Adam. “I mean, he has the long dark blond hair, rippling muscles … well, he’s just the complete package as is, right?”

Their little group nodded vigorously. “Absolutely! Right! Perfect!”

Thor grunted.

“That leaves our little Robyn, or is she above all this?” asked Snooki.

“Oh, don’t be such a bitch.” Wonder Woman nudged her while Chuck called them to order.

Still, Wonder Woman tried to get Robyn’s attention over the din of moving chairs and Wolverine’s death grip.

“Robyn. Robyn. Pssst, Robyn.”

Robyn finally turned in her direction.

“Want us to get you some of those green Robin gloves that come to here?” Wonder Woman tapped the crook of her arm.

Robyn looked around the room, taking it all in at once.

“Well?”

“Okay, Justice League and Avengers, welcome back and happy new year,” said Chuck.

“Green gloves, $15.64?”

“No thanks, I won’t be—”

“So who would like to start us off?”

Wonder Woman, Snooki and Adam all stared at Robyn, who reddened at record pace.
I’ll get them myself, thanks
, she mouthed.

As usual, Wolverine led off and chewed up an endless amount of self-reverential airtime, which was almost okay because it left Adam free to count and wonder.
Thirteen, fifteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one, twenty-three …
 He was sure that Snooki had caught him even though he was strictly interior. It didn’t matter.

I won’t be what, Robyn?

Wonder Woman spoke in an increasingly smaller voice. Adam wanted to jump in and say something supportive or decent, but it was the food thing, not the small space thing, and Adam sucked at the food thing. Chuck wrote copious notes.

Just as they were winding down, Captain America took the floor and proposed that the superheroes go back to Batman’s church for some candle-lighting to start the new year off with good karma.

“Yeah!” said Snooki and Wonder Woman in unison. The rest, except for Thor, agreed instantly.

“Batman?” Chuck asked.

“Yeah, cool. I mean it,” said Adam as he got into his coat. “And there’s, like, this labyrinth in the granite floor, right after the holy water receptacles but before the pews.”

That had their immediate attention.

“Outstanding!” said Captain America.

“That place has this deep
Game of Thrones
feel to it,” said Snooki.

“Yeah,” Adam agreed, even though he didn’t agree. “And, like, I’ve been thinking it would be kind of excellent to walk it again.”

“Walk it?” asked Green Lantern.

“Yeah, you walk the pattern on the floor. Labyrinths are ancient holy things. You walk them and it’s, like, instant chill.”

“I’m in!” said Snooki, standing up.

“Me too!” Robyn snapped to attention and stepped smartly over to Adam.

The rest of Group fell in behind them, with Thor once again protecting or dragging the flank, depending on your perspective.

“Well, okay, then. I’ll look forward to hearing about it.” Chuck gathered his files and papers, smiling. “See you next week.”

Adam was pumped about going back to Holy Rosary with his people, with Robyn. He felt clear, free of the sticky cobwebs and the ceaseless hammering in his head. It was like someone had hit a reset button on him. Adam didn’t count once the whole way over, which was a miracle in itself since he hadn’t been able to go a few minutes without counting the past few days. It was righteous—no, it was a sign from God. That had to be it.

God was pleased with him.

The church, thank the Lord and all his angels, was empty again. And again it was like a coming home, only better. It was like walking into a hug. It had happened that first time too, but it was then obliterated by the dread he’d felt about bringing his crazy-ass Group to a church he hadn’t set foot in for years.

This time, Adam sent them on ahead while he stayed to perform his cleansing ritual, which was a good thing because it took him twice as long as the last time.
No matter, doesn’t matter
. And it didn’t matter. The superheroes waited semi-patiently for him at the base of the labyrinth. They all swore that they had faithfully executed “damn good” signs of the cross after liberally dipping into the holy water.

“Except Thor,” Green Lantern whispered. “He just shoved his whole hand in, pulled it out and then nada,
nothing.” Green Lantern glanced over at Thor, who was pacing in the vestibule. “Not sure he has the hang of it yet.”

“Okay!” Adam reached over to a table that held various pamphlets and lifted one. “So we start at the start. See that opening? Stay on the pink path and it will squiggle you in the right way. It’s not a test or anything, but try to stay off the dark gray granite part.”

“Okay, Batboy, it’s your show,” Wolverine said, putting his hand to his chest and leaving it there. “If I suffer a myocardial infarction from the exertion, I’m assuming that this is a quasi-decent place to be, right? Your pope guy knows CPR, right?”

No one laughed or rolled their eyes. If none of them quite “got” his thing, they now recognized it as a
real
thing and left it alone.

“It’s a good place, Wolverine. You’ll be cool,” said Adam as he squinted at the instructions. “All right, so the first part is walking to the center medallion in the, uh, center.” He pointed to the bloom of pink in the middle of the squiggles. “That’s called Purgation, which is a ‘releasing and shedding’ as we walk. Then we rest at the center to ‘receive inspiration,’ and finally we make our way back, which is called Union and brings a ‘new awareness and calm’ to our lives.”

“All that from walking a circle?” Green Lantern was astounded. “That is sick!”

“Okay.” Adam motioned with his hand. “Follow me.” Just as he stepped in, he noticed Father Rick coming toward them. The priest stopped and sat in a pew, but turned to face them.

Jesus. They’d looked weird enough before, but now
they were sporting masks and gloves and glowing discs, while stepping gingerly into an invisible labyrinth. All eight of them entered, even Thor.

“Don’t push!”

“I’m not pushing!”

“Are so!”

“You’re not giving me enough room!”

“You’re walking too slow. Hop to it!”

“Guys, enough!” Adam raised his hand. “Everybody out!”
Mutter, mutter, mutter
, but out they went, even Thor. “Look, guys, you’re supposed to enter this in the spirit of contemplation and with an open heart kind of thing.” Wolverine sighed, his hand still firmly on his chest. “So let’s start again, but give the person in front of you lots of room before you step in. Ready?”

They nodded somewhat sheepishly.

“Okay, then. Let’s commence.”

This time there was a concentrated silence.

“Holy crap!” said Captain America as soon as he exited. “Sorry, man, but that was superior! Absolutely superior. It was superior, wasn’t it?”

The rest of them mumbled in agreement before they turned toward the cross and then raced over to the candles. For them, Holy Rosary was better than a theme park.

“Adam?”

It was Father Rick.

He moved toward the priest and was surprised to feel Robyn’s hand slip into his.

“Hey, Father, how are you doing?”

Father Rick wore his clerical clothing, black pants and
shirt with the white-collar tab. It made him look so official, all Roman Catholic Church–like.

“I’m sorry if—”

“Your friends are welcome here anytime, Adam.” He smiled at Robyn. “I hope Holy Rosary is a refuge for them, and for you especially.”

Adam stood mute, whiplashed by memories of compulsively counting the stained-glass windowpanes, the gold granite specks on the floor, the candles, the carvings in the pews …

“You taught them the labyrinth?”

“Yeah, Father. I forgot how much I used to like it.”

“Did you know, Miss …”

“Plummer,” said Robyn.

“Forgive me, I should have remembered. Miss Plummer, did you know our Adam was my very finest altar server?”

Robyn looked confused.

“Altar boy,” Adam explained. “Thanks, Father.”

“It’s true.”

“Oh, I’m not surprised at all.” They were distracted by the unmistakable sound of coins hitting the stone floor. “Hey, I’d better—” Robyn let go of Adam’s hand, taking away all her warmth. “I’ll go over with the guys and monitor the signs-of-the-cross part. See you later, Father.”

“I hope so, Miss Plummer.”

They watched Robyn thread her way through the pews.

“Adam?” Father Rick stepped closer as soon as she was outside of earshot. “You did—
do
—have a spiritual gift. We’d welcome you back in any way, whenever you’re ready. Whenever it becomes okay with your mom to …” The
priest glanced over at the candle stands and back at Adam, then glanced away again. “Uh, forgive me, but your friends are fine, mainly, aren’t they?”

“Oh yeah. OCD is the major presenting and we’re all medicated and not violent. Not even Thor.” They both locked onto the behemoth, who was immobile and transfixed before the candles. It looked like he was going to eat them. “At least not that we know.”

Adam would have to count and adjust the candles before they left; at the moment there were thirty-four lit ones.

“And your mother? Are things okay for you at home?”

Home
. Adam sat down in the pew behind Father Rick and started.
Five sets
. Just like that. It was back.
One, three, five, seven, nine, eleven …

“Adam.” Father Rick spoke so softly that Adam had to lean in to hear him. “I’m here. I know you need more. I can sense it, like before. But sometimes God can help a little too.”

Adam must have nodded. But not very convincingly. The priest looked pained as he got up and walked toward the altar. He turned back for a moment. “Anytime, Adam,
anytime
.”

He could sense it? Just how crazy was he? Father Rick could sense
what
?
Seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one, twenty-three …

Could people see?

Jesus, they could see!

And there was no reset button after all.
Twenty-five, twenty-seven, twenty-nine …
 Not for him. Wisps of smoke formed into strands and then knitted themselves into the familiar spider’s web that had trapped his mind for so long,
Adam could only note its absence not its presence. Jesus, not again. Adam raised his eyes to the crucifix that had so mesmerized them on their first visit. Christ looked back.

Are you with me or not?

Suspended and sad.

Well?

Silence.

Answer me for once, goddamn it!

There was a kerfuffle by the candles. His friends were scrounging for quarters, blowing out tapers and making inept signs of the cross. Half of them were kneeling.
Three, five, seven …

Adam returned his gaze to the cross. The Jesus was hurting. Guilt simmered and then boiled in him. Jesus had a whole world of suffering and horror to worry about and here Adam was in all his punk puniness. He didn’t want to add to Jesus’s burdens, but …

Sorry about that. Look, I know you’re busy and I don’t want to get greedy with your time, but still, if you could just help me … If you could find a minute, please, please, please, dear sweet Jesus, fix me
.

It took Adam twenty-three minutes to get into his house that night. It would have gone much faster but he was interrupted. He was racing through the rituals when Mrs. Polanski from across the street came trotting over in her Sunday gray wool coat with the fake fur collar and slippers.

“Adam, dear? Adam?”

He turned to her.

“Are you okay, dear? Locked out? I sometimes see you, see that it takes so long to—”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Polanski, really. Thank you very much. I’m not locked out and I think Mom’s home. It’s just … I have to … well, see, I have to do things in a certain way before … I’m fine, ma’am. Really, I am.” Shame shot through every syllable and strangled the words. “Sorry if I worried you, but honest to God, I’m fine.”

Mrs. Polanski wrapped the coat around her a little tighter, nodded and began to walk away, but then she turned around again. Clearly, she was not happy about leaving him at the door. “You know I’m right across the street, if ever … well, I’m home is all.” And off she went.

The universe was dialing down, and Jesus, as it turned out,
was
busy. So later that night, Adam called Chuck.

He thought he was going to leave a message. But Chuck picked up, even though it was 8:37 p.m.

“I need help,” he said.

“Adam?” Chuck’s warm voice stilled the tremors.

“I need help.”

“Are you okay for tonight?”

“Yes, sir. I think so.”