The Uprising (The Julianna Rae Chronicles) (21 page)

‘I’m doing that without your help,’ she said quietly.

He looked out to the trees. He shook his head. He dropped his hands, resting them on his hips and concentrated on the only thing he could – smoking his cigarette and staring at the manicured gardens. He sucked furiously and drew in what smoke escaped.

‘You were wrong in not telling me,’ he said calmly. ‘You’re so busy fighting
, J Rae, you can’t even see your own friends.’

‘I pissed you off with something I never asked for. You let Taris stab me. How is that a fair fight?’

His eyes narrowed. ‘You’re blaming
me
for
that
? Is this seriously your reason for the hostility? You’re freaking blaming me for his attack. Take a good look at yourself.’

It was her turn to stand silent in his brooding glare.

‘You’re being a bitch.’ Caden said blankly. 

‘You’re behavior hasn’t exactly been reproachable. You won’t even tell me where my father is.’ The mist thickened around her towel-dried hair, making the ends drip. She pushed
it behind her shoulders.

He took another suck of his cigarette. He glared at her again. ‘And you’ve never lied to protect someone you cared for?’

‘Who are you lying for and who are you protecting, huh?’

The venom abandoned her words. His refusal to bite back lulled her into guilt. She’d pushed too hard. Her heart
started to sink.

Sorry.

He put the cigarette to his parted lips and she waited for his silence to end. Would h
e walk out or would he stay – she wanted him to stay. The anger between them upset her – not after the week they both had. Not after
they
thought the other was dead; and she felt ashamed. She took a step closer as he flicked the spent cigarette into the garden.

I’m sorry.

He nodded
and beckoned her with his open arms. They rested comfortably over her shoulders in a loose embrace, which allowed them to feel close again. She felt his kiss on top of her head and his chin rest in her wet hair.

‘I want you to trust me,’ he whispered. ‘Trust I’ll tell
you everything when I can. No fighting, not anymore, not tonight – and I don’t blame you for Bastiaan.’

She looked up. ‘I don’t blame you either. Just trying to hurt you.’

Caden agreed. ‘Indeed. You can be very cruel.’

He bent his neck to kiss her, and she let him. He kissed her deeply. Her hands rested on his chest as his lips pressed harder against hers. Caden slipped his fingers along her sides until one finished tipping her cheek gently. His other hand rested over hers, nudging them down to his belt.

Remaining close, he drew his lips away.

‘I can’t stay here, Caden.’

‘I know you’re feeling that right now.’ he led her along the path with his hand firmly taking hers, and when she stopped, he stopped. ‘I’ll settle for what you can give me, and later we can talk about you staying.’ He nipped at her lips and she pulled gently away. ‘You have no idea the grief you caused us this week. We thought you were dead, Miss Rae.’

She lowered her head. Caden
gently pulled her with him as he stepped back into the warm open room with the smoke curling over the fire. The smell of the burning wood incensed her to their in-country time together, the memories not so bad.

‘We can talk now,’ she offered in guilt.

Caden scratched at his beard and when he looked at her, a frown creased his brow. ‘You need to consider the ramifications that you’ve been avoiding.’

‘Avoiding?’

The door behind them slid closed, obeying his thoughts.

‘You’re a watcher, Julianna. A full-blooded watcher at that. It’s a rare thing in this world, and without training and a mentor to
help you...’

‘No. I’m not a full-blood, I can’t be.’

He moved a strand of hair sticking stubbornly to her face. ‘The headaches will become debilitating. You’ll suffer more aggressive seizures; experience vivid hallucinations,’ their lips touched and he gave them a nip. ‘You can’t risk being alone while you go through this. It could kill you, or it could send you wild.’

‘I need answers. I wanna’ look for Bas in-country, the rest I’ll figure
along the way.’

He took her hands and gently pulled. He backward stepped in the direction of her bedroom doorway, taking her with him as he did.

‘Bas is my problem.’ He kissed her hands. ‘Find your other answers here. I’ll help with your mother.’

‘My mother’s dead.’

His expression changed.

‘D
aniel killed her in the tunnels. She was going to kill us – she killed Hensley, and then Daniel killed her.’

‘H
e mentioned nothing to me.’ He held her face, studying it with a kindly expression that she didn’t doubt.

‘
I’m okay.’

He studied her, unconvinced. She wasn’t convinced
either, but saying the words helped. If she said them enough she’d start to believe them, and if she started to believe them, she could let it all go.

But the swollen belly under the uniform, on her
cold, dead body…

She thought she saw the bump move under the uniform.
She pushed the thought away.

T
he door nudged closed with his foot. She stumbled onto the soft bed and everything was under his calculated persuasion.

‘Just us, J Rae. Clean room, safe and quiet,’ he pushed her back and climbed
over her to brush himself against her waist. ‘How do you wanna’ do this?’ he unbuttoned his shirt, and her hands found their way to the latch on his belt.

So this is what we’ve become, friends with the so
-called benefits.

But it wasn’t so easy, and
he felt the same. Nothing was as far from the truth in their confusing world and neither knew how to deal with it.

Supposed to be my watcher.

‘Undress for me,’ he said quietly, kneeling beside her, tugging at her pants until he pulled them over her bare ankles. He teased the material on her knickers. The coolness of his buckle glided against her bare thigh.

T
he crisp singlet slipped over her head to join her pants and his crumpled shirt on the floor. She knelt before him in her bra, feeling exposed under his stare and playful tease of the straps resting loosely on her shoulders. He pressed her onto her back, into the thickness of the mattress and blankets – with his hand steadfast behind her back and the clasp released to expose her body to his admiring hands, while returning to her lips as he knelt over her.

Julianna
admired him, vulnerable to his touch once more.

Why is this happening?

‘Tell me to stop and I will,’ he whispered between kisses against the soft skin of her neck and down to her chest, moving along to her sides.

His tongue stroked
her soft belly, teasing his way to taste her inner thighs with the caress of his lips. She shuddered.
He moved lower, squeezing her tightly, digging his fingernails into her skin. Julianna shivered with anticipation, submitting to his every touch.

He stopped to catch her biting her lip. His mischievous
gaze knotted her stomach in anticipation and then he moved again, coaxing her thighs and bare belly under his caress, until his eyes reached hers to wink his sign of affection. He knelt slowly, moving his hand between her legs, absorbed in her character when she met with his eyes.

It was his turn to bite his lip as they studied each other. His eyes
were black, but she wasn’t scared – not this time. His honesty intrigued her; his ability to reveal himself without concern for her prejudice and fear reassured her.

She lifted her head to kiss him again. He kissed back,
taking the power away from her and trying desperately to control himself as he wrestled to release his belt completely.

‘Fuck,’ he whispered and took his glance away
to focus on undressing completely. She heard his breathing hasten. Caden’s dark eyes glistened; his pants slipped away and they were naked before each other. Their eyes locked and he coaxed her to kneel before him.

Caden
lifted Julianna’s arms around his neck. ‘I don’t want to be gentle,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve been around too long for gentle.’

The stroke of his fingertips
along her uncovered back charmed her into silent consent. He kissed her again, her lips, her neck as his fingers caressed her thighs; and he lowered himself enough to find her where they rested. She hung her head and closed her eyes to his warm breath against her cheek. The feelings he stirred with his rocking motions, as he held her tight in his arms and against his chest, addicted her.

‘
Let me see your eyes’ he said.

She hung
her head, shaking it, fighting the familiar stirrings. She didn’t want this over so quickly but he set in motion and the urge to resist him melted away. He called inside her mind to obey him, to raise her eyes. Caden’s strength snapped her face up, to meet with her appointed watcher against her will.

We shouldn’t be doing this.

Her eyes were round and he was intoxicating, taking every part of her into himself, emotionally, physically, mentally
.

He agreed to her thoughts with a bite to his own lip again.

No, we shouldn’t. No one can know.

He kiss
ed her again, playfully pinching her bottom lip between his teeth before resting her into the thickness of the warm bed. His rhythm against her hips increased; she could feel herself against him, their sweat combining to make a damp circle on the clean blankets. He grunted as she moaned. It was a blur as they moved together, but then the silence arrived, but for their panting and the rustle of the wind outside.

Caden kissed her again and she kissed him back while they made their way into each other’s arms, beneath the
inviting blankets. His touch made her realize how much she had missed him as they slipped in beside each other. Caden held her close to his side.

You’re right. No one can know about us.

*    *    *

Caden slept soundly beside her while she watched the moon through the glass doors. From where she sat, with knees tucked under her chin, beneath the sheets, she watched the sway of the
weak trees dance with the wind in the false garden. The moon was full and orange, the stars were bright, and then she glanced over to Caden on his back, with a hand resting heavily over his tattooed chest. It rose and fell evenly. He slept deeply in his peaceful state.

A foot escaped the
tangle of sheet, and her other followed over the edge of the bed, pressing firmly into the rug sprawled beneath her. Julianna released the sheets to quietly dress into the uniform, piece by scattered piece, which she hunted for across the room.

She admired him while she laced her boots and strap
ped her knife against her wrist, wondering if he woke would he stop her. Caden stirred in his slumber and rolled onto his side. She froze, waiting for his reaction. She didn’t presume to know how he’d respond to her leaving and didn’t want the argument. She left a note instead.

Wanted to say bye, but I expect you’d throw me in a cell just to teach me a lesson.

             
                                                          J Rae.

They were the only words she left, propped in the corner against his watch and name badge, on a scrap piece of paper.

Julianna didn’t see him
raise on his elbows as she left the room, didn’t see him shake his head and smile in the dark, while she opened the front door leading into the low lit hallway.

All
was quiet in the Rebellion Head Quarters. A few night-shift workers sat at their desks, lazily monitoring cameras. Two officers unlocked the exit into the area where her bike waited.

The night air was comfortable in her lungs. Her ride was where she’d left it. The keys rattled in her pocket under her grasp and she pulled them out
.

The engine purred

‘
Julianna Elizbeth Rae.’

She hung her head
and waited for Caden to stroll from the elevator entrance.

He stood with his hands in his pockets and glanced
down at the bike. ‘You’re breaking my heart girl.’

‘No I’m not, C Ma
ds, can see right through you.’

He agreed with a reluctant nod. ‘I
ought
to throw you in the cells. I really should, but I get what you’re doing. Just be careful out there, okay? The war’s only getting started now.’

The hint of a smile o
n his face didn’t reach his brown eyes. Words failed. The awkward moment she’d expected wasn’t there, just shame in loving and leaving him, and she wondered if anyone had made him suffer similar in the past.