The Vacant Chair (24 page)

She gasped when he whirled on her, breaking her hold and confronting her with blazing, tear-filled eyes. So much anger in his face. So much pain and guilt and grief. Hating that she’d seen him so vulnerable.

Hurting for him, Brianna raised her hand to his rough cheek, startled by the heat against her chilled fingers. He yanked it away, his grip on her fingers almost bruising. She flinched, heart pounding as she inwardly shrank from the buried rage in his eyes.

He didn’t release her. Merely stared down at her with that tortured expression that made her bleed inside.

“You should go back to bed.” His voice was hoarse, all that volatility roiling beneath the calm facade.

“I don’t want to sleep without you.” Risking more rejection, she placed her free hand over his racing heart. His skin was so hot beneath the soft cotton lawn, the muscles under it knotted with tension. Aching to comfort him, she pressed close and swallowed a gasp of surprise when her belly made contact with the unmistakable ridge of his erection. She blinked up at him, an answering wave of heat sweeping through her.

He closed his eyes. “I’m not in control of myself.”

“I can see that.”
I’m here. Let me help you heal.

His lids flipped open. The heat in his sapphire gaze made the breath catch in her throat. His eyes scorched her face. She didn’t pull away.

His hands were unsteady as they burrowed into her hair, holding tight. “You should go.” It was a warning. One she had no intention of heeding.

She shivered in his grasp. “You won’t hurt me.” The words came out as a breathless whisper.

“No.” His thumb brushed over her cheek, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “But if you stay, I’m not going to be gentle.”

She swallowed at the warning, didn’t move. Backing down was not in her nature.

Justin searched her eyes, challenging her, his arousal wedged between them. “Last chance.”

She raised her chin. “I’m not leaving.” Without her permission, a fine quivering took hold of her legs.

Despite her brave stance, she cried out when he grabbed her around the waist and drove her back against the wall, pinning her there with his body. He dragged her head back by her hair and devoured her mouth, ignoring her squeak of alarm. The air slammed out of her lungs; her fingers gripped his shoulders. The desperate urgency in his kiss jolted her out of her shock. This wasn’t about anger. He
needed
her. Needed to find solace inside her. His body screamed it.

Softening, she kissed him back and wound her arms around his neck as she slid her tongue against his. 

Justin let out a tortured moan and she pulled her head back to put some distance between them. His eyes blazed down at her, the pupils swallowing the blue of his irises. His cheeks were flushed, chest heaving as he panted. On the edge of control. As he’d warned her. “Justin—”

He smothered her protest with another ravenous kiss and shoved a hand into the neckline of her nightgown to squeeze her breast as he rubbed his hard erection between her legs. She whimpered at the sudden spike of pleasure, the twinge of fear heightening sensation.

“I want you,” he muttered raggedly against her throat, teeth nipping at the tender skin. “Now. Right here.”

Wrapping him up in her arms, Brianna gathered her courage. Though she’d never seen this rougher side of him, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. “Yes.” 

He yanked up her nightgown and tumbled her to her back on the rug below the window. Before she could move, he covered her with his weight and shoved her into the floor. The heat and solid weight of him sent another shockwave through her, tore a gasp from her. She wrapped her legs around him. He growled and pressed his erection against the damp throb between her thighs. Brianna hitched in a breath and lifted her hips, her hands tearing at the shirt covering his back. She wanted his skin against hers. This instant.

 He rose up on his knees and wrenched the shirt over his head. Kissing her deep and hard, he ran his hands over her naked skin with proprietary boldness. His mouth slid down her throat to her breasts, sucking hard at their tender tips while he held her still in an implacable grip. Brianna could only lift up and dig her fingers into his scalp, offering herself to him.

Justin undid his pants and peeled them off, kicking them aside as he laved and sucked her nipples. He did it until he had her writhing, dying for him to touch the aching place between her legs. With a low growl, he surged up to grab her hand from his back and wrap it around his thick, aroused flesh. She tightened her grip on him and wrung a groan from his throat, but he didn’t enter her. His other hand slid over her quivering stomach to the damp place between her legs and slipped two fingers inside, stroking hard and fast. Her lips parted on a breathless gasp, the pleasure sharp and bright, fuelled by the wildness in him.

He swallowed her strangled cry and urged her hand to move faster on his erection. She squeezed tighter as his mouth moved back to her breasts, loving the feel of him swelling against her palm, and knew he would enter her soon. Already shaking, her body was gearing up for the coming explosion. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t think. Could only feel those long fingers sliding over that spot inside where she ached and throbbed, while he took her higher with the pull of his mouth on her aching nipples.

When he at last settled between her thighs, she nearly wept with relief.

“Hold onto me,” he rasped above her.

Her hands flew to his shoulders. He pressed against her opening, the heat of his thick flesh wringing a gasp from her before he drove inside with one thrust, igniting every nerve ending in her body. Brianna groaned his name and held on, twisting in his grip. Lightning sizzled through her veins. One hand went to his hip, urging him to move faster. Harder. She wanted all of him, everything he had to give.

Levering up on his hands, Justin rose above her and watched her face as he drove into her, moving with so much more force than he ever had before. Brianna closed her eyes in helpless pleasure, delighting in the way his muscles bunched under her grasping fingers.

“No,
look
at me.”

Her eyes snapped open at the forceful command. She whimpered and trembled beneath him, holding his gaze as she lifted into his thrusts. The hunger still flamed in his eyes but the anger was gone, replaced by naked longing. The compulsion to hold him close and comfort him almost made her weep.

Justin cradled her head between his hands, refusing to let her look away. He took her with hard, selfish strokes, his skin glazed with perspiration. When he kissed her this time, the gesture was so full of need and love it made her eyes sting. She surged beneath him, moaning her pleasure as he moved within her, his big, muscular body pumping in the silver light spilling through the window.
He is so beautiful like this.
She was close now, her body gripping the hard length that stroked inside her, her engorged clitoris rubbing against his lower belly at the end of each thrust. Release hovered there, tantalizingly close yet maddeningly out of reach. She held on harder and moved with him, crying out into his mouth.
Almost there…

Above her, Justin suddenly drove deep and froze. His head fell back amid a throttled roar, his teeth bared in feral pleasure. His whole body shuddered as he pulsed deep inside her, over and over before he stilled. When he collapsed against her with a groan, Brianna quivered beneath his weight. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and withheld the frustrated whimper locked in her throat.

The quiet tick of the clock on the mantle seemed loud in the silence.

After a few minutes, he raised his head and slid an unsteady hand over her hair. “Bree?”

She opened her eyes. Tried to stop trembling.

With an uncertain expression, he began to pull out. The friction as he withdrew made her suck in a breath. He froze. “Did I hurt you?”

Still biting her lip, she shook her head.

The alarm faded from his eyes, replaced with dawning realization. “Angel.” He slid his hand up the inside of her thigh, making her grab his shoulders and pray for more. She jerked when his fingers grazed her painfully aroused flesh. “Were you close?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded.
Please, please, please…

But then he stopped. Her eyes snapped open in disbelief as he stood and pulled his pants up. He gathered her wrapper and set it about her shoulders, then scooped her up in his arms. “Justin, what—”

“I’m going to finish this in our bed.”

Chapter Twenty Four

Justin carried her upstairs to his bedroom and put her under the thick covers to wait for him, cursing himself for his behavior. For him the sex had been incredible, the pleasure all-consuming. He’d been rough and selfish, focused solely on losing himself in her body, taking the solace she offered. And still she wanted him enough that she’d almost reached climax. He intended to make sure she enjoyed one now, and revel in every moment of taking her there.

Brianna snuggled under the covers and watched him light a fire in the hearth beside the bed. When the kindling caught and burst into flames he gathered the basin and washcloth on the washstand and took it to the fireplace. He wet the cloth and wrung it out, holding it to the flames until it was hot to the touch. Returning to the bed, he eased the counterpane and sheets away from her body and drank her in with his gaze. Firelight danced over her pale skin, caressing it with flickering light and shadow.

The cloth was warm and soft beneath his palm as he moved it over the delicate skin of her abdomen. Brianna stared up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. He slid the cloth lower, gently sliding it over her mound and between her thighs until he had cleaned every trace of himself from her flesh. Her teeth were sunk into her lower lip, her pink nipples standing erect, hands twitching on the sheets. The musky-sweet scent of her arousal hit him, making his mouth water. Setting the cloth aside in the wash basin, Justin leaned down to trail kisses across her face, then lay beside her to pull her into his arms. She locked hers around him and held on tight.

With a groan of contentment, Brianna burrowed closer to his warmth and he kissed her. She opened her mouth under his and met the slow glide of his tongue, her fingers clenching on his shoulders at the seductive languor in him. When he finally pulled back, her eyes were glowing, the irises all but swallowed by her pupils.

He layered leisurely kisses down her throat to her breasts. He lapped at her nipples until she dragged his head closer, then pulled the sensitive flesh into his mouth and sucked. Slow and easy, driving her higher with each languorous tug of his lips and tongue. Not enough to make her climax, though. He wanted her to drown in sensation first, to lavish all his attention upon her and make up for the selfish way he’d just taken her. She deserved far better than that.

“Now,” she breathed tugging on his shoulders, opening her legs to wind them around his thighs.

He ignored her, instead taking his time blazing a damp path to her belly with his mouth, down over the rise of her hip. He could feel her trembling now, the anticipation rising higher as he came close to where she throbbed for his touch, then passed by it to kiss the tops of her thighs. She dropped her head back to the pillow with a soft groan, earning a chuckle from him.

With reverent hands he stroked the length of her legs, taking one chilled foot and placing it on his shoulder. Her sole was icy against his burning skin. She stiffened at the change in position and tried to squirm away, but he firmed his grip on her ankle and gazed up at her with a set expression. “Don’t move.”

She seemed to hold her breath and a slight tremor rolled through her. Feeling vulnerable?

He smiled against her soft skin, charmed by the sudden shyness in her. He planned to make her crave this. “Open.”

Still watching him, she slowly parted her thighs and allowed him a glimpse of her sex. Dark curls shielded plump folds that shone with the evidence of her arousal. He swallowed a groan, dying to taste her.

He nuzzled her calf with his cheek, caressed the back of her knee and up to her thigh as he wedged his shoulders between her legs and moved in close. The muscles in her thighs shook slightly and her breathing was unsteady. She sucked in a breath when his fingers brushed over her damp core, squeezing her eyes shut. The raw need on her face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He sank a finger inside while his thumb stroked in circles across the swollen nub at the top of her sex. She twisted up with a sob, but he merely pinned her with one arm across her tense belly. “Shhh,” he soothed. “Relax and let me love you.” And then he lowered his head and put his mouth to her.

She gasped, the sound like tearing silk in the quiet room. Her hands flew to his shoulders. “No—”

Justin pressed his free hand against her right thigh to open her wider, exerting enough force to overcome her slight resistance. When he had her open enough, he held her still and used his mouth to torment her exquisitely sensitive flesh.

She was so soft and warm, tangy sweet against his tongue. The sounds she made were incredible. Though he sensed her desperation, his movements were slow and patient, making her strain beneath him. He flicked his tongue repeatedly across her sweetest spot, tearing a ragged cry out of her. Tipping his head to watch her face, he held her gaze and licked at her reverently, loving every moment of it. She whispered his name and squirmed beneath his loving onslaught. Melting against his mouth.

Justin pushed her toward release, sure and relentless, adding another finger inside her to magnify the pleasure. Helpless to control her response, she squeezed her eyes shut and gripped his hair in desperation, moving restlessly against his tongue. At last he took the swollen bud into his mouth and sucked, watching her reaction. A glaze of perspiration covered her skin, shimmering in the dancing firelight. She made a high, choked sound and clutched his head to her. Her muscles gripped his fingers tightly. So close now. With a final flick of his tongue he flung her over the edge, reveling in her wild cry as the climax tore through her.

When she opened her eyes, he was kneeling between her open thighs, staring down at her. He brushed a lock of hair from her damp forehead with a gentle hand. “You’re so beautiful. Did you enjoy that?”

“Yes.” Blushing, she held out her arms to him. He grinned and kissed her lips, sharing her intoxicating taste with her, then nuzzled her jaw. Her arms locked around his shoulders when he began to shift away. “Stay with me?”

The vulnerability in her voice hit him straight in the heart.
Angel…

Justin stretched out alongside her and buried his face in the curve of her throat, feeling possessive and protective all at once. Pulling her into his body, he pulled the covers up and wrapped his arms tight around her, surrounding her in his warmth and strength. “Love you so much.” She was the greatest treasure he’d ever been given.

Brianna snuggled closer with a contented sigh and laid her head on his chest, and soon her breathing turned deep and even. Justin fell asleep with her soft weight blanketing him, grateful for the gift of having her by his side for the rest of their lives.

Brianna woke early next morning expecting to find Justin beside her, but the bed was empty again. She jerked upright, searching around the room for him. Their bags were set by the door. Were they leaving? She threw back the blankets, washed, dressed and pinned up her hair. His footsteps sounded in the hall. She braced herself, not knowing what kind of mood he’d be in this morning. He’d been so caring and attentive last night, giving her hope that they’d re-established that intimate connection they’d lost since arriving here.

Justin opened the door, his expression weary but resolved, and put on a smile when he saw her dressed and ready to go. “Morning. Sleep well?”

She blushed at the memory of how wild and uninhibited they’d been together last night. “Yes. You?”

He nodded, his gaze moving to their bags. “Train leaves in about two hours. I thought we’d get an early start.”

She crossed to him and slid her arms about his waist, relieved when he hugged her in return rather than stiffen and endure the embrace. “I’ve been thinking,” she said against his uniform. “I love you and I don’t want you to have to choose sides between your mother and me. That’s not what I intended when I interfered. Having the laudanum taken away was the only thing I could do to help, even though she won’t see it that way. I’ll understand if you want to stay with her. I can go back to—”

“No.” The word was low, impassioned, and his arms tightened. “I’ve only got a few days’ leave left, and most of it’s going to be eaten up traveling. Once my furlough is up, there’s no telling when we’ll see each other next.” He kissed her temple, her cheek, his lips warm and tender on her skin, his arms fierce about her. “I don’t want to lose another minute of my time with you.”

She loved this man so much.
“If that’s what you want.”

He buried his face in her hair. “Yes.”

Brianna clung to him, aware that all too soon she’d have to send him back to the war.

In the study, Siobhan sat huddled beneath the folds of her favorite afghan on a settee across from her husband’s leather armchair. A fire blazed in the hearth, but she didn’t feel any of its warmth. She was cold all the way to her bones, had hardly slept in two days. Her skin hurt. Her head throbbed. Every time she moved too quickly, she feared she might be sick to her stomach. This was Brianna’s fault. All of it. Each agonizing second she had to endure without her medicine had been forced upon her by that high-and-mighty Southern witch her son had married. Hatred rose, sharp and powerful.

Out in the foyer, Aggie and Laurel were saying goodbye to Justin and his harridan of a wife. A pang shot through her at the thought of not seeing her son off, but she was grateful his wife was leaving. Good riddance. She hoped they never came back, so she never had to look into those cold gray eyes again. How could they do this to her? She was suffering unbearably without her medicine, and no one cared. Not even Aggie.

Heavy footsteps in the hallway grew louder as they approached. They stopped outside the den door.

She held her breath.

The door creaked open. Hushed footfalls fell on the carpet.

Without looking up, she knew Justin stood behind her. The scent of his cologne reached her, so familiar it brought the burn of tears and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying. He stood there a moment longer in silence and when she didn’t speak, laid a solid hand on her shoulder.

She shuddered at the contact, pain racing over her skin and into the muscle. His touch lightened but his hand stayed where it was, warm and strong. Like him. She thought of the pain he was causing her, couldn’t bear to look up into the face that was so like his brother’s.

What was he waiting for? After their altercation yesterday, she had nothing left to say.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek without a word.

No! He’s dead to me too.

A silent sob ripped through her, shaking her shoulders. She refused to make a sound, refused to look at him.

“Goodbye, Mother.”

When she made no response, he withdrew his hand and walked out of the room. His retreating footsteps echoed in the hall. Her heart began to pound out of control, a sense of panic taking hold until she was panting for breath.

A few moments later, the front door shut with a thud.

So. They were gone.

A curious tightening took hold of her lungs. As though a hand was squeezing all the air from her body. Her pulse raced. Sweat bloomed on her forehead and across her upper lip. A bolt of terror shot through her. What if Justin never came back? What if the last words she ever spoke to him were the ones she’d screamed at him yesterday afternoon?

It should have been you who died on that field!

Terror seized her. Had she really said that terrible thing? She fought for breath, hands digging into the arms of Brandon’s chair.
Breathe! Steady
. She sucked in a shaky breath. Then another. Kept inhaling until the room stopped swimming. The attack passed, the taut band about her chest releasing inch by slow inch. Exhausted, she laid her head back and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she gazed up into her husband’s face, frozen forever in his portrait.

This time his eyes seemed to stare down at her with reproach.

Siobhan shut her lids to block out the sight and hunched deeper into her blanket. Justin was already gone, even if she had wanted to make amends, and she didn’t have the energy or the will to pour out her heart on paper.
Too late. Too late to do anything about it now.

No one understood her suffering. No one cared about her pain.

Drowning in the tide of her misery, she curled up in her chair and let her bitter tears fall.

****

Winchester, VA

February 8, 1865

“For the love of God, don’t do this, Bree.”

Standing on the freezing platform next to the train waiting to take her on the first leg of her journey back to Richmond, Brianna shivered. Justin’s tormented expression pulled at her, but her mind was made up. They’d gone over this so many times and always came back to the same thing. He was heading out with his regiment in the morning, and if she stayed here there was nothing for her.

“You don’t have to go,” he said again, holding her upper arms tightly. The icy air turned his words into vapor, rising like a silver mist into the air. “Stay here with the other wives, or go home to Lexington. At least then I know you’ll be safe and have support.”

He’d begged her all week to change her mind. They’d moved back into the boardinghouse in Winchester and spent the rest of Justin’s furlough together. Last night General Custer and his wife, Libbie, had held a ball for the brigade. While the Brigade Band played, Brianna had twirled in Justin’s arms as snow drifted down outside the candle-lit windows. The whole time, her heart had been heavy as lead because she dreaded this new separation.