The Vampire Blog (12 page)

‘But he's very keen,' went on Mum. ‘He rang up especially to hear how you're getting on and he really thinks he can help.'

‘Cancel him,' I cried. ‘I'm begging you.'

‘But he's on his way,' said Mum. ‘We've even worked out where he can stay: up in the attic. He'll be very comfortable there.'

11.15 a.m.

Hell's teeth, he's here.

He came blustering into my bedroom, looking even more pleased with himself than usual (if that's possible). Then he said, rubbing his hands together, ‘You're in the deepest danger of your whole life – and you haven't got any reflection. Now, what on earth is that like? I couldn't imagine looking into a mirror and not seeing myself there.'

‘It's great actually,' I said, ‘because now I

never have to worry what I look like.'

‘Well, you do,' said Karl, ‘because we can all still see you …'

‘Oh no,' I said. ‘I never realized that. So you can see me now?'

Karl looked at me for a moment. ‘I've come here to help you, Ved, with all your tons of problems. So what would you like me to do first?'

‘Disappear?' I said hopefully.

‘It's great you can make jokes – even at a time like this.'

‘That wasn't a joke,' I murmured.

‘Now, how about if we get you thinking vampire by practising some roars. I'll do one first,' he added eagerly.

He did, and of course it was brilliant. Yawn! Yawn!

‘Now try and copy me,' he continued.

So I did and it was just pitiful. Nowhere near as good as that roar I did at school. The one Tallulah overheard.

‘I think you're putting me off,' I said.

‘I can see that,' he said. ‘You're worried you can't roar as well as me. And you probably can't. But don't worry, you can still be a perfectly good roarer – if not a world-class one. Shall I go away?'

‘Oh, yes please.'

‘How far should I go?' he asked.

‘Back home.'

‘Always the joker. Look, I'll just stand outside the door.'

He listened to my next attempt and then oiled back in, looking very stern. ‘Ved, you can't just luck into being a half-vampire, you know. You've got to at least try.'

The trouble was, I had been trying.

Karl let out a big sigh. ‘You're feeling tense and frustrated, aren't you?'

‘Yes, I am,' I admitted.

‘And how long have you been feeling like this?'

‘Since you arrived,' I said.

He rubbed his hands together – one of his many annoying habits. ‘You're going to be my biggest challenge. But don't worry, I'll win in the end.'

I looked up. ‘Will you?'

‘Oh yes,' he said, oozing confidence as usual. ‘I always win.'

Saturday 20 October
2.50 p.m.

I've just had a visitor.

Mum answered the door and called up, ‘A friend to see you, Marcus.'

‘Send Joel up,' I said, just assuming it would be him.

‘It's Tallulah actually,' said Mum, sounding a bit excited. And my heart gave a huge thump too. This surprised me.

‘Oh, well send her up,' I said, trying to sound as casual as I could.

Tallulah chatted to Mum for a few more seconds and next I heard her walk quickly up the stairs. My heart gave another thump.
And then Karl had to stick his nose in. I heard him saying to Tallulah at the top of the stairs, ‘You can only stay a few minutes.'

‘Rubbish,' I yelled. ‘You can stay as long as you like. Bring a sleeping bag if you want.'

Tallulah strolled into my room with Karl right behind her as if he were my butler, bodyguard and dad, all rolled into one.

‘So how are you?' she asked.

Before I could reply Karl declared, ‘He's not at all well – got a virus.'

Seeing a look of alarm cross Tallulah's face, I cut in, ‘But it's only a tiny, little virus – and not infectious in the slightest. By the way, that guy lurking beside you is a very, very distant relation, but I won't bother introducing you, as he's just leaving.'

Even Karl took the hint. ‘I'll be outside if you need me,' he said.

‘Why on earth should we need you?' I replied.

‘Well,' said Karl to Tallulah, ‘he's certainly perked up since you came in.' That guy couldn't be more embarrassing if he tried.

After he'd finally left I said, ‘I apologize for
him. He keeps his brain in a jar. But we have to humour him as he's my eighth cousin twice removed or something. But why are we talking about him anyway? It's me you came to see, and who can blame you?'

‘Shy and modest as ever,' Tallulah said. And we both sort of laughed and I sensed she was nearly as nervous as me. But the astonishing, and the truly incredible thing, was how pleased I was to see her.

‘How long did the M.I.S. meeting go on for after I left?' I asked.

‘Not long,' said Tallulah. ‘No one could concentrate after …'

‘I'm really sorry for messing up your meeting,' I said.

‘No, it's all right,' she said. ‘We've set up another one for tomorrow now. You'll miss that, but we'll probably have one during the week too so you should come to that.'

‘Hey, you're being nice to me. Now I know I must be ill.'

‘Well, I shan't be nice to you ever again. So enjoy this moment,' said Tallulah.

‘By the way, thanks for—'

‘I don't do thanks,' she snapped, ‘because I
just go bright red and it's horrible.' She was reddening a bit as she said this.

I had a horrible feeling my face had burst into Technicolor too.

‘I'll just say it was lucky you were close by,' I said.

‘Yes, OK,' she said. Then she started circling round my room. Watching her made me feel slightly dizzy. But I was still awed that she was here visiting me. And shockingly happy about it as well.

‘Just before you passed out,' she said, ‘you mentioned something about being attacked.' She looked questioningly at me.

‘I must have dreamed that,' I said, not feeling at all easy about lying to Tallulah. After all, she had rescued me. But there was no way I could tell her the truth. I was talking rubbish, as usual. I said quickly, ‘In fact, I just tripped over in the mist.' Then I added, ‘You didn't tell Joel or anyone else that you'd found me.'

‘No,' she said, stopping her pacing suddenly. ‘I thought you'd rather I kept that to myself.'

‘I would actually,' I said, grinning at her.
‘Not my finest hour, was it, getting lost in the woods and falling over and having to be rescued by my ickle mummy and daddy.'

‘But you weren't yourself, Marcus,' she said. She was just so different from the grim, permanently scowling Tallulah I knew from school.

She came closer, leaned right over me in fact, her eyes shining with a strange light. And then something truly astonishing occurred. She kissed me.

Just a light kiss on my left cheek. But still, a girl had voluntarily kissed me – and looked as if she'd enjoyed herself too. I tell you, this was nearly as incredible as discovering I'm from a family of half-vampires.

‘Wow,' I said, ‘I wasn't expecting that.'

‘Neither was I,' she replied, another great wave of colour rushing into her normally pale face.

We were really having a little moment there when bellowing across the room came: ‘Tallulah, would you like a hot drink at all – tea or coffee or hot chocolate?'

Yes, Karl was back, only now he'd turned into a waiter.

‘Er, no thanks,' said Tallulah.

He persisted. ‘What about a cold drink? We've got—'

‘No, I've got to go actually.' She seemed flustered and awkward now. Trust Karl to break the spell.

‘Here's a great idea,' I said to Karl. ‘Why don't you go away and have a hot drink
and
a cold drink?' But it was too late. Tallulah was already at the door.

‘Look after yourself,' she said suddenly, not able to look at me directly. That kiss had obviously taken her by surprise and now she was clearly embarrassed by it.

‘Well, call again, any time,' I cried. ‘We never close.'

After she'd gone I was lying there glowing – that's the only word for it – until you-know-who had to strut in and spoil it all.

‘Very odd,' he announced.

‘What is?'

‘That girl coming to see you. Felt wrong.'

I stared at him. ‘What are you talking about?'

‘This is not what you want to hear, and sorry to be the bearer of such tidings – but you're not her type.'

‘How do you know?' I shouted.

‘Got an eye for these things. So this was the girl who found you in the woods, was it?'

‘Yes,' I snapped.

‘Hmm, so what was she doing there?'

‘Well, anyone can wander about in the woods. And I don't think she's very happy at home, so she wades about thinking up stories. But what's this got to do with anything anyway?'

‘There's something suspicious about that girl,' said Karl. ‘Mark my words.'

I glared at him. ‘Did you go on a course to be so totally annoying – or does it just come naturally?'

‘I know I'm telling you something you'd rather not hear,' said Karl in a slow, patronizing voice. ‘So I will accept any insults you hurl at me.'

‘Look,' I cried, getting really angry now. ‘Apart from wanting to see how I am, what other possible reason could Tallulah have for visiting me?'

‘I don't know yet,' said Karl. ‘But I'm just saying, be very careful. That girl is up to something.'

4.55 p.m.

Some people are lower than a snake's bottom. And Karl is one of those. He couldn't let me think that a girl might like me a bit, so he plants all that garbage about Tallulah being up to something.

5.10 p.m.

Karl is a smarmy, oily, big-headed weasel, who I couldn't stand before, and now I positively hate.

5.20 p.m.

We are agreed that Tallulah came to see me for no other reason than she wanted to find out how I was.

Good, and thanks, blog, for clearing that up once and for all.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Sunday 21 October
6.15 a.m.

Woke up gasping for water. My throat had never felt so dry. I tried to call out, but in the end I used the bell Karl had placed right by my bed. He'd been sleeping on a little chair outside my bedroom. He charged in with a jug of water, but tripped and managed to pour half of it all over me. I was so thirsty I just tried to lick up any water that had landed near my lips.

6.50 a.m.

Gulping water down now. Just can't drink enough. Mum and Dad, hovering anxiously,
say this is a good sign. It means I'm getting back to normal.

8.50 a.m.

Hey, my reflection is on its way back. Still a bit misty, but at least it's there. Funny how lost I felt without it.

9.15 a.m.

The doctor called. ‘Yes, we've stopped the vampire infection this time,' he said proudly.

‘What about if the vampire catches me again?' I croak.

‘Oh, come come,' said the doctor. ‘Put away such gloomy thoughts.'

‘But it's close by, isn't it, waiting to strike once more?'

‘The moment you change over into a half-vampire it will scuttle away into the darkness where it belongs. So come along now, Ved, just relax your mind and let your natural vampire side come through.'

9.50 a.m.

And I wanted to do this, I really did. I was sick of being in this kind of limbo. But I'd just
started relaxing my mind when Karl stalked in. ‘I've made a list of things you must do.' And straight away he made my hackles rise.

‘I'll make my own list, thanks,' I said.

Karl bristled. ‘I do know what I'm talking about. I did change over into a half-vampire in forty-eight hours which, I still believe, is a record.'