The Vengeance (7 page)

“Give me a good reason. Or I’ll just come and try to talk to you every day until you cave or file a police report.”

She looked at him. He was serious. If he knew, she wouldn’t have to worry about either option she told herself. The guilt of a mere moment of happiness surged through her again, changing her mood.

“Well, you might as well hear it now so you can quit wasting your time. I’m damaged goods!” she said angrily. “I don’ t have room in my life or my heart for anyone else!”

He stared at her, this beauty in front of him. So perfectly and precisely put together on the outside, hiding a mess of a human being inside.  His heart not only ached to see her smile, but to make her believe in life again. She had obviously lost her own faith in it.

“I don’t believe that.”

“You should!” she said loudly, starting down the road again at a faster pace and praying he wouldn’t follow.

“Helen
!” No response. “Helen, please! I didn’t mean to upset you!”

She stopped mid-stride, her pencil-thin legs looking as though they might snap from the abrupt halt.
The bottom of her dress swayed in the breeze around her while her heels sunk into the ground below. Matthew stopped his own feet from moving, freezing in place, wondering if he should give her space or move closer.

He heard the light whimper of the sounds of a broken soul.
They were the sounds of much more than tears. They actually resounded with hollowness. Most men would have run. It was one thing to encounter crazy later on in the relationship, but for it to be upfront so soon, Helen figured Matthew would have bolted by the time she turned around. Then she heard his voice.

“Helen, I don’t believe you’re broken.”  She didn’t speak up so he continued. “I believe you’ve probably been hurt, maybe lost, but I don’t believe you are truly broken. You’re still here, still moving through life. Maybe you just need something to come back to.”

He watched carefully as the movement of her body stilled, showing no movement except the slight bob of her head as she lightly gasped for breath between the tears.

“May I move closer to you?”

He watched closely but she gave no indication either way. He inched towards her, closing the gap until his arms were around her, pulling her close enough to be draped in the sweet scent of her hair.

He took it in, holding her tightly as her body shook. He couldn’t imagine what this woman had been through, but standing there with her felt right and good. He felt a sense of belonging.

“Shhh…” he whispered over and over, his thick hand smoothing the back of her hair while the other held her close. “What happened to you? What hurt you this badly?”

He had second thoughts about asking, thinking it more appropriate to perhaps wait until later, but his mind was yearning to know what could break a person to this level. He’d served in the military and seen his share of action. He’d experienced similar feelings of depravation and sadness after
the scenes he’d encountered while deployed. Never, though, had he seen a woman with the same pitiful eyes that had adorned many of his brave friend’s faces after they returned from battle.

“I’m damaged goods
,” she stammered out. “My son is gone… my husband left me … I can’t even have any more children. I told you … walk away, please, please walk away. I’m not worth anything anymore. Everything I want to give somebody, I’ve failed at. Just walk away.”

The loaded words begged him to leave, yet she found herself burying her perfectly manicured fingers into his clothing in a subconscious attempt to get him to stay. He felt good, strong. He smelled like hope. He hadn’t run yet.

And as her mind came back to the present, the memory fading back into her soul, she watched him shut his door and saw again what she had loved about him: after all this time, he had never run.             

Matthew smiled,
blew her a kiss and started up the old engine, his weathered hand waving as the truck bounded along the road, the fishing equipment in back bounced around.

Addie hoped for a good night’s sleep after whatever bump she’d taken to her head the day before. She’d played it off so that Gram wouldn’t worry, but she was genuinely frightened about losing memory. She’d never had much in life except Rose and Gram. Her memory was the only personal part of herself she valued aside from them; while she doubted anything exciting had happened recently that she might miss, it felt like an invasion of her privacy to have those memories stripped from her mind. Hadn’t she been through enough, she thought? First the loss of Robert, then her mother. Now this? Her head hit the pillow with hope that maybe, just maybe, it would all come back to her in the morning after a good night’s sleep.

Addie stewed in bed, lost in the fight with sleep as
a nightmare overtook her fatigued mind. The dark clouds swirled overhead and blocked out the sun. Alone in a field, the wind whipped the multicolored blades of grass all around her. A man stood there in her midst, his hair long and shaggy and a look of sheer depravity smeared across his otherwise blurry features. She couldn’t distinctly make out his face, but his overall demeanor was pure … well, pure evil was probably the best word for it.

Her body rocked back and forth in the bed, covered in a film of sweat. She was frozen in the field, squeezed by an invisible force that enveloped her body as it tightened and pulled her against her will. In the next instant, the skies cleared into a hazy blue again and the evil man was gone. In his place stood the new guy she’d met that morning, AJ.

She woke up, bolting upright in the bed and muffling the scream that so badly wanted to escape her lips. He’d seemed genuinely kind that morning, but either her mind was still frazzled by the accident she was told she’d been in or her gut was telling her to watch out for the guy next door.  She shifted, now even more uncomfortable in her own bed than she had been hours ago when she’d first sought refuge there.

She must have caused a commotion loud enough to wake Gram
, who poked her sleepy head through the opening in Addie’s door.

“You okay?” her old voice whispered in the darkness.

“I’m alright.”

“Want some company?”  It was the same thing Gram had asked her when she was little, alone
, and frightened without her mother.

“I’d love some.”

Addie moved over in the bed to make room. Gram slid in slowly, wrapping the blanket over her lap and pulling Addie’s head into it. She stroked her granddaughter’s hair, a look of saddened resolution upon her aged face.

“What happened to me?” Addie asked,
before she could stop herself.

She hadn’t asked Gram the details of what had happened
for fear that Gram would simply worry more. Gram took a deep breath and cautioned herself to remember the story word for word so that the lie would become an engrained memory, should Addie ask again.

“You and Rose
were down by the creek, playing. You picked her up in your arms to carry her across but slipped somehow, probably on a mossy rock. Both of you went backwards. You both took quite a bump to the head.”

Weird, Addie thought. Something similar had happened before and Addie had taken the brunt of the fall, shielding Rose in her arms. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t done the same this time. If there was anything she was actually decent at in the world, it was protecting her little girl.

“And both of us lost our memory?”

“Yep, it appears that way.” Gram continued stroking her hair, doing her best to will the questions to end. She had no answers and hated lying.

“That seems … weird. Both of us? The last thing we both remember is from the same day.”

“Aww, sweetie, Rose is a little girl. Her days are filled with playing outside and eating, the same old thing day after day. Only big events stick out in her mind, which is probably why you both remember the same one.”

Gram silently cursed Benjamin for being unable to wipe her memory as well, but they’d both known it wouldn’t work. Just as AJ had suspected, she’d known him before. Benjamin had been the one to take her gift away when she had decided to give it up and his soothing voice had recited the rules of her future as he performed the ceremony. The memories were always meant to remain, to serve as a reminder, and allow her service as a guide if a Healer should need one.

Addie took her grandmother at her word. Rose
was
little. The explanation made sense. But then again, Addie thought, strange things happen every day out in the world, so why shouldn’t one of them happen to her?

“Who’s that guy, Gram?” she asked, the sleepiness evident in her tired voice.

“What guy?” Gram stalled, searching for answers and trying to memorize them first.

“Next door. When did he get here? Helen seemed as though they are old friends.”

Gram sighed. At least she could tell a partial truth.

“He got here a couple months ago. Good guy, very quiet. Keeps to himself.”

“Did I ever talk to him?”

“The usual hello, goodbye, how’s the weather. That’s about all.”

“I said hello to him today. He didn’t seem fazed that I didn’t know who he was.”

“He’s a gentleman, Addie. I told Helen about your accident and she probably told him. He was being polite. Perhaps he didn’t want to upset you.”

“Is he staying here?”

“What’s with all the questions?” Gram asked. She knew where this was likely heading – she’d been young once.

“I dreamt about him. Maybe just because it’s been a long day and he’s new. Sort of. To me at least.”

“What did you dream?” Gram asked
, her interest piqued.

If the ties between her and AJ were strong enough to overcome her memory being wiped, it would prove difficult to keep them away from each other.

“I was out in the field. The field Robert and I would go to. There was a guy there who looked sinister. I mean, flat out, downright mean and ugly. Then just as quickly as he appeared, he was just gone and that AJ guy was standing there.”

Silence.

“Do you think he’s a bad person, Gram? That maybe he is not trustworthy?”

“I think he’s a decent guy w
ith a sad past. He’s quiet and doesn’t talk about his life. He and Helen get along well and he takes care of them. I just think he’s probably got a couple skeletons in his closet, but nothing to fear.” It was as honest as Gram could be and was oddly accurate.

“It’s strange.”

“The whole thing is.”

“Well, yeah. Everything about him feels strange to me. I feel like I know him, if that makes sense. When I met him
… re-met him this morning, it just felt like we were friends. Somewhere deep inside, I feel like we’d known each other for a while.”

“You have, in a way. He’s been living across the street for a couple months. You’ve spoken here or there. You just can’t remember.”

“I guess. It feels like more than just a hello and goodbye type of friendship though.”

Addie closed her eyes again, allowing sleep to invade her completely exhausted body. Gram’s adrenaline had kicked in during the conversation and she sat wide awake.

Maybe in the morning she’d suggest to AJ he should leave, just in case Addie would remember, she thought.

“AJ!”

The scream was loud, agonizing, and forced
, an instant rush of mind-blowing adrenaline through AJ’s veins. He’d never heard anything as painful, except for the night Rose fell. The night he was willing to give up anything to protect her and Addie. His muscles flexed and the carved legs he had worked so hard to build carried his monstrous body through the B&B and out into the front yard where the screams had come from He saw Helen kneeling on the ground and her body shaking.

Matthew was on his knees, his hand to his arm, and Helen at his side. Her skin was vacant of color, her eyes widened by not only the fear of her love in pain
, but the fear found in the eyes of someone scared to lose the most valuable piece of her life.

“What’s wrong?” AJ barked; his voice both anxious and demand
ing.

He was scared for Helen and Matthew and the fear was exactly the same as it had been when he’d experienced it when his mother fell ill. He reached down, placing his arms on Matthew’s shoulders and helping lower him to the ground. The burst of images nearly overwhelmed AJ, causing an instant headache
to rush through his head.

Matthew fishing; Matthew eating dinner, shaking hands with a waiter; the drive home
… and then the future – Matthew walking Addie down the aisle. He was meant to live.

“Helen, call 9-1-1. Go!”

He needed her away – it was risky enough that they were in the front yard; he couldn’t risk losing his gift after all that had happened. He could heal Matthew and save his life. Helen would want him to go to the hospital anyway, so AJ figured it wouldn’t hurt to call the ambulance.

AJ’s hands warmed as Helen crossed the threshold into the B&B, the adrenaline rushing from his core outward through his hands in a blast of light. He contained the aura as best he could as the energy surged through Matthew’s body, healing it from the inside out. After an extremely tense minute, Matthew’s body relaxed, his hands falling to his sides, his eyes blinking repeatedly. The good thing about being the one healed is that there would be no memory of it – AJ never had to explain what happened because of the haze a person being healed went into
.

Helen came bursting back into the yard, scooping Matthew into her hands.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” she whispered through tears. Her face became a waterfall, her eyes peeking through the near-spray of tears. “Don’t you dare, Matthew. I need you.”

Matthew lay dazed, his hands gripping onto Helen’s in a moment of clarity. He smiled despite his questions.

“Everything’s going to be okay. I’m okay,” he said, using his eyes to convince her. The eyes she’d fallen in love with so many years ago on this very road. “Look, I’m okay.”

“Shhh…” she whispered and used the same technique he’d once settled her down with. “Just relax, sweetheart. Everything will be okay.”

AJ watched the display, his heart aching at the sight. It was a painting – a beautiful Monet, peaceful and subtle with bright colors. A picturesque beauty beyond words that existed in any language; one he’d never know.

He was beyond blissful that Matthew would be fine and after a few tests in the hospital and some rest and relaxation, Helen would feel more at ease and believe it. Yet as he watched the two lovebirds entwined around each other, their hearts exuding love and devotion that the world today had lost sight of in the face of
easily ready divorces, he could not stop the pang of sadness that no one would love him that way. Or more aptly, that he would not be allowed to love anyone in that way. Right now, if he died today, a few people might be sad … but no one would be completely lost without him in their lives.

The thought would have been enough to take him out for the count except that as he rose to his feet, he realized something.

He wasn’t tired. Not a bit. The blast of power that had gone through him was immense, more so than he’d ever experienced before. He stretched his arms out towards the ground, straining his fingertips and flipping his hands palm up, palm down, over and over, looking from one to the other. In the past, the healing he put into Matthew would take a few days to recover from. At this moment, he felt as though he could heal twenty more without blinking an eye.

AJ volunteered to go to the hospital with the couple
. Helen asked him to stay behind to take care of the place in case any visitors came. In his three months there they’d never had another visitor. He was certain they wouldn’t today. It was more Helen’s way of having alone time with Matthew, probably recovering from the shock of the previous half-hour and letting go of all the emotions in a place where only Matthew would see. Her pride was her strength; she needed to keep it intact to keep everything together.

AJ sat in his room, his bag still packed from three days ago when he hadn’t anticipated returning. He stared at the black lump sitting on top of the unwrinkled quilt
adorning the top of his bed. He hadn’t slept in it yet, preferring the chair where he could stare over at Addie’s house. If seeing her was all he had, that’s what he’d take. It felt creepy at first, but the feeling faded knowing he wouldn’t be doing anything more than ensuring her safety. He began to see himself as a guardian angel of sorts.

The breeze blew in through his open window, a welcome respite from the otherwise blazing heat. His eyes wandered outside
to the quiet, pot-holed road. He should leave, he thought; both his head and his heart told him so. He just couldn’t force his body to follow their commands, despite the constant battle with his mind to get up and go.

The air was different. He attributed it to the fact that there was the ability to breathe freely again with Devin out of the picture. He recalled the fight – the first time he’d truly thought about what they’d done. In the hour after, when he and Max
set Devin’s body to rest, he could sense the disgust Addie held. He could feel the animosity that was hidden deep within her as she pushed it further down, because he knew she didn’t want to be angry with him.

The men felt that Devin had deserved a proper burial, as all living beings did. Especially AJ. His mind still held the vivid pictures Devin passed on to him during the battle. Pictures that formed a timeline of Devin’s life, shouting silently to AJ that he hadn’t always been the man he had become. AJ had seen it all – Devin’s rough and tumble beginnings during childhood, the love of his life dying. It was a fast-speed movie reel playing through his aching mind. Devin pushed it into him, wanting him to know. It was
the Grim’s personal absolution for all that he had done. He needed someone to know that he wasn’t just the monster before them. He had been a person with feelings.

AJ flinched at the memories. The visions of Devin’s childhood alone had been enough to make AJ believe anyone could be turned on the wrong path, no matter how strong their resolve.

He heard a knock on his door and got up, figuring he’d find Max on the other side wanting to talk. He settled on the realization that he at least owed the man that much. He sighed, his hands thrust on his hips. He knew that one day he would forgive Max and that this would all be an ancient memory, at least for him. Max would start aging now and AJ was sure to outlive him.

He twisted the painted, decade-old doorknob in his hand and pulled the door back.

“Come on in, Max.”

It wasn’t Max. It was Addie.

“I saw the ambulance today. Is everything okay?”

“Matthew thought he might be having a heart attack, but he’s going to be just fine. Helen made him go to the hospital to make sure.”

“Oh.”

He could see the pain on her face. She loved Helen and Matthew like they were her family. They’d been there for her in the past without judgment and he could sense the fear coming off of her body.

She stared down the hallway for another moment. AJ, forgetting she didn’t really remember him other than their meeting that morning, pulled her into his arms to hug her for reassurance.

“Really, Addie, he’s going to be just fine.”

She flinched and pulled back, causing AJ to cringe.

“I’m so sorry, Addie. I just don’t know. I saw you looked upset and I didn’t think.”

He stood at a loss for words. Her body felt good with his wrapped around it and he hated that she couldn’t remember his touch.

“It’s okay. I just
… I don’t know you, you know? I’m not used to being touched by people, especially strangers.”

Strangers. That word hurt.

“You could probably call over there,” he said, hoping changing the subject would make the awkwardness evaporate. “Or they’ll probably be home soon. You’re welcome to wait here.”

“In your room?” The fear rose up within her.

“Or downstairs. The kitchen, I mean. In the B&B in general. Just… here,” he said motioning his arms around to indicate everything and anything that existed on the plot of land which housed the B&B.

“Okay, thanks. AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” Her eyes were locked onto the floorboards and her hands wrung around each other in a frantic need to keep busy.

“Sure.”

“What did we talk about? I mean before the accident. Gram says we talked sometimes. I’m just wondering how close we were. It’s hard, you know, not remembering things. People especially, but you and that Max person are the only two I don’t remember.
One minute I’m dating Joseph, and the next he’s gone and I remember nothing. The idea that he’s disappeared isn’t all that strange, seeing as he wasn’t the most decent of men to being with. It’s weird. I keep using that word but it’s the only one I have to describe it. Everything is just… weird.”

He paused in hesitation, gathering
his thoughts. He wanted to tell her everything they’d ever talked about, how much they’d shared. How he’d felt with his lips on hers, aching for something more from her. How brave she had been standing up to Devin and how much he admired and was scared of her stubbornness, all at the same time.

All that came out was, “Not much. The weather. Rose. Stuff like that.”

“Did we talk about anything… personal?”

“No,” he lied through gritted teeth. “Never anything personal. You said
… well, let’s just say you weren’t the type to overshare.”

“Were we close?” She noticed his hesitation and could feel the discomfort oozing from
him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be attacking you with questions. I’m so confused. I feel like I’ve lost so much. I know it’s only a few months lost but… I need to make sense of it all. And you hugged me. That’s not normally just talk about the weather type of friends.” She paused in an attempt to read the stranger in front of her. “I’m sorry, I’ll go.”

“No,” AJ whispered, putting his hand tenderly on her arm. “It’s okay, Addie. Really. Come on in.”

He led her over to the two chairs near the window. She walked past the bed noting the giant, packed duffle bag sitting there.

“Are you leaving?” she asked, finding the surprise in her voice a bit shocking. Why did she care, she thought?

“Uh, maybe. Not sure. Probably time for me to move on. I never really stay in any one place long. There’s a lot of this country to see,” he lied.

His hands reached up to rub his head as they tended to do when he wasn’t sure what to say. If he’d played poker, the tell would give him away every time.

She looked closely at him as he sat down across from her. Her eyes studied him closely, starting from the tip of his head and working their way down his body. She couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. She had that morning, too. How had she
not
come on to him the last few months? She must have had some reason to maintain the friend card with him.

“We weren’t,” AJ lied.

“We weren’t what?” she asked, fearing he could read her mind.

“You asked if we were close. We weren’t.”

He saw her eyes widen, and then tighten into slits as she fiercely examined him. Was she searching his eyes for clues, he wondered?

“Where did you get that?”

“What?” Did he have a scar or a cut on his face? He didn’t remember but then again, he hadn’t looked in a mirror since before the battle.

“THAT!” She pointed again and leaned over the red tablecloth until her fingers were nearly touching him.

And then they
were
touching him.

The delicate fingers picked up the St. Christopher medal that was pressed against his chest. He had forgotten all about it. The medallion’s gleaming exterior reflected under the light from the ceiling and he knew she wouldn’t remember buying it.

“I bought it.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I bought it,” he said again.

“Are you a thief or just a liar?”

“Addie, what are you talking about?”

“That’s my mother’s
medallion. I’ve had it since I was a little girl. So you’re either lying about how close we were or you stole this from my house. I know it’s mine from the dent in the right side – I did that when I was wearing it one day and climbing a tree.”