The Very Best of Robin Williams: Memories of a Comedy Legend

THE VERY BEST OF ROBIN WILLIAMS

MEMORIES OF A COMEDY LEGEND

DAN ALDRIDGE

CONTENTS

Introduction

Quotes
About Other Celebrities and Politicians

Comedy Quotes

What He Said About Himself

Interesting and Inspirational Quotes

Quotes from His Films

What Others Have Said
About Him

Some Interesting Facts

INTRODUCTION

Naturally it’s never nice to hear of the death of somebody who’s on-screen presence has been a part of your life since you were young. But it takes the passing of somebody particularly special to shock the world and truly darken your day.

For as long as I can remember I have been a huge fan of Robin Williams. Mork & Mindy was always a family favourite and Popeye was even my one of my most watched videos as a child (though admittedly having watched it again in recent years it’s not the best of his films!).

Robin Williams was simply one of those personalities that couldn’t fail to make you smile. His natural skills as a comedian were like no other. His style was completely unique and he was a born entertainer whose gentle and friendly nature was evident in everything he did.

It’s unfortunate that, like many comedians before him, Robin Williams suffered a constant battle with depression. Though this was to ultimately and very sadly be the cause of his death, he leaves behind him a wealth of entertainment that will bring smiles to faces for many years to come.

This book brings together some of the most amusing, inspirational and thought provoking quotes from the comedy legend, as well as others’ reflections on the impact he had on their lives.

Aside from the last two chapters, all quotes are by Robin Williams himself.

QUOTES ABOUT OTHER CELEBRITIES AND POLITICIANS

'Oh my god, Jack Nicholson. He once was with me at a benefit and leaned over and said in a very intense voice: "Even oysters have enemies." I responded with "increase your dosage
."'

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'Having George W Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work.’

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About his mentor Jonathan Winters:

‘He taught me that the world is open for play, that everything and everybody is mockable in a wonderful way.’

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About when he spoke to Steven Spielberg during the filming of Schindler’s List:

'I called him when I was representing People for the Valdheimers Association. A society devoted to helping raise money to help older Germans who had forgotten everything before 1945. I remember him laughing and going "thank you".'

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About George Bush:

‘
We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like “We have to get rid of dictators,” but he's pretty much one himself.’

*

‘Michael [Jackson] is claiming racism, and I'm like, "Honey, you gotta pick a race first!" What are you claiming, mistreatment of elves? What are you saying?’

*

'Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, The Marx Brothers. Comedy is a great art when it works. I’ve never seen anything funnier than Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor, that scene at the dinner table. That alone should get an award if you are just talking about sheer funny but they are always talking about ‘well, is it meaningful?’ Well, sure it’s meaningful if you come out and you had a great laugh.'

*

‘Dubya doesn't speak while Cheney's drinking water. Check that shit out.’

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'When I first met David Beckham, I didn't know whether to shake his hand or lick his face'

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‘I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.’

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‘When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, “Can I use a lifeline?”’

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'The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.'

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‘When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?’

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About Sarah Palin:

‘"I know about Russia because I can see it from my front yard!" You have amazing eyesight, number one... Well, I can see San Quentin from my house, but that doesn't make me an expert on prison reform.’

*

‘When I was growing up they used to say, 'Robin, drugs can kill you.' Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, 'Robin, you need drugs to live.' I realise now that my doctor is also my dealer...’

*

‘There is one man that we can run for office that even the French would say "Fuck off!" That man...is Jack Nicholson. Yes! You will never have a sex scandal with Jack because he has fucked
everyone
!’

*

‘You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.’

*

‘We still have great comedy out there. There's always ramblin' Joe Biden. What the fuck? Joe says shit that even people with Tourette's go "no..."’

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And if you're looking for Sarah Palin's new book, it is a bitch to find! I found it somewhere between fiction and non-fiction, in the fantasy aisle.

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‘I'd play the Riddler in the next Batman, although it'd be hard to top Heath Ledger as the villain, and I'm a little hairy for tights. Plus, the Batman films have screwed me twice before: years ago they offered me the Joker and then gave it to Jack Nicholson, then they offered me the Riddler and gave it to Jim Carrey.’

*

‘There's so much to talk about. The fact that Donald Trump wants to see Obama's birth certificate. I want to see his hairline first.’

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‘I loved working with Pacino. Al does this Method thing where before every take he roars like a lion. So my first day working with him I bleated like a goat: "What was that?!" "Hi Al, I'm here, it's just Robin, just playing." Playing scenes with him was a little surreal, because I was like, "I'm watching Al Pacino!" and then I'd realize I had to act, too.’

COMEDY QUOTES

'Some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of course he was Jewish! Thirty years old, single, lives with his parents, come on. He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish. Give it up'

*

‘
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.’

*

'If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?'

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‘God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.’

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'Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.'

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‘We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.’

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'Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.'

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'Cricket is basically baseball on Valium.'

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'Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs'

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'Never fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.'

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'Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer – you can do it, just not as well as the others, really.'

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‘We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!’

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