The Very Thought of You (5 page)

You, Miranda Tyler, are a grown, independent and confident woman. She repeated that statement over and over as she dressed for bed. By the time she reopened the bathroom door and entered the bedroom, she had regained a measure of her former peace. She slid into the bed and curled her arms around the pillow. As sleep came gently she prayed for the strength and fortitude to deal with Caleb Blackfox in the days to come.

“I
don't want you as my doctor, Blackfox.”

Caleb looked up from the chart in his hand at the man sitting up in the hospital bed. Ignoring the statement, Caleb slid the hospital door closed.

“You don't have a choice this time, Darren,” he replied as if he were announcing the weather. Caleb walked over to the side of the bed and filed back the patient file. Very calmly he reached over and touched Darren's bruised rib.

Completely thrown off by the action, Darren jumped sideways. “Ouch! What the hell are you doing?”

“Checking to see how your ribs are doing. Still cracked I see. Should I check on your arm and leg?”

“Hell, no!”

“My guess is that they are still broken and you need a doctor.”

“Yes, I need a doctor. I just don't want you to be that doctor, Blackfox.”

Caleb's eyes narrowed and he pulled a pen out of his pocket. His fingers tightened over the metal. “I didn't want Miranda to break up with me and never speak to me again.”

“That has nothing to do with me. If my sister wised up and saw you for the playboy you were then that's all your fault.”

Caleb looked at the EKG machine and was internally delighted to see Darren's elevated heart rate. In a minute, he expected it to rise even further with his next statement.

“But you see, it isn't my fault because she only saw what you wanted her to see.”

“I wasn't involved in your mess, Blackfox.”

Anger that he hadn't felt in years rushed from his gut and almost a decade of waiting. “Wrong. You pulled the strings and unless you bury the past here and now I will tell Miranda everything that happened that night and it will bury you.”

“You don't know anything. And even if you did—if you told my sister—she didn't believe you ten years ago, what makes you think that she's going to believe you now?”

“Ten years. That's what makes me believe. We were young, stubborn, and both of us wore our hearts on our sleeves then. Now we're older and she will look past the emotions to the facts, Darren.”

“Fine, Blackfox, you can be my doctor. But why?”

“Call me Caleb. The Blackfox thing is old, Darren, and I would rather we at least appear on friendly terms. Why am I here? I don't care too much about you and we both know that. I can admire a man who takes care of his own, but you crossed the line. I want to be your doctor because Miranda and I have unfinished business.”

“You're going to use my recovery to move back in on my sister? That's low.”

Caleb flipped the chart closed after making a few notes. If Darren's recovery progressed as scheduled he would be able to leave the hospital in three days. “No. It's smart. And this conversation is going to guarantee that you don't interfere this time around. If I even catch a hint that you've been whispering in her ear, I will respond swiftly and it won't be nice.”

“If you hurt her—” Darren began.

“You're not in a position to make threats,” Caleb cut him off. “And now that we've established our new rules, I can get back to being your doctor.”

A part of him wanted to ask about the girl, the faceless child that had been in his dreams for the past two days. He wanted to grab Darren by the hospital gown and demand to know if that was his daughter, but he didn't. This was something that he would find out from Miranda and only Miranda. It would hurt him if the child was someone else's, but it would tear him and his family apart if the child were his. The only thing he'd learned as a doctor was to be patient. Now all he had to do was wait for the right time.

“Is everything all right in here?”

Caleb looked up and his eyes met Miranda's. He could tell from the shadows under her eyes that she hadn't slept any better than he had. The sight should have made him feel better, but it didn't. He wondered if it was guilt keeping her up at night.

“Good morning, little sis. Pretty early for you to be visiting, isn't it?”

“Kelly's downstairs getting her physical and didn't need her Mommy hanging around. I thought I'd come up for a second to check up on you.”

“Good morning, Miranda.”

Her expression cooled slightly when her attention shifted to Caleb. “Hello, Caleb. Is my brother giving you any grief?”

“He's just fine. As a matter of fact, he's on-track for release in a few days.”

“Wonderful.” She walked over to her brother's bedside and then looked from Darren to Caleb.

Damn, those beautiful eyes of hers could see right through him. Once upon a time it went both ways, but now he couldn't tell what she had going on in that pretty head of hers.

“You must know that we are both grateful for your help.”

“Well, the work just started and I've been telling your brother that he's not only going to need someone at home to help take care of him. He'll also need to be under a doctor's supervision. I've volunteered to serve in that capacity.”

Miranda's eyes flew to her brother. “And you better have accepted, big brother.”

“Hell, I've broken bones, not my head. Yes, I accepted Caleb's offer.”

Caleb met Darren's baleful stare. The man continued. “I'd be a fool to turn it down.”

“Miracles are happening every day, it seems. Anyway, I'm going back downstairs. I'll be back in about thirty minutes. You want anything, bro?”

“Three chocolate chip cookies, some salted peanuts, a hamburger and a large soda.”

“You can have everything but the hamburger and the peanuts. The cafeteria is still serving breakfast,” Caleb commented.

“I'll see what I can do.” Miranda smiled, turned around and left the room.

Caleb's eyes tracked her through the window, enjoying the nice view of her perfectly endowed backside.

“Man, I can't wait to get out of here,” Darren grumbled.

Caleb grinned at the prospect of spending time with Miranda outside of the hospital. “Me, too,” he whispered. After making notes on Darren's chart, he left the room and headed for his office. He hadn't forgotten Miranda's primary purpose for being in the hospital. His mind raced with the information.

Trust, but validate.

It was time Caleb found out if he was a father.

H
aving spent most of the day moving from the hotel into her parents' house, getting Kelly enrolled in the local junior high school, checking on her brother and settling into the house, Miranda was exhausted.

There were so many memories in the house—all good times she'd savor forever and all of the bad times she couldn't make herself forget. In a way, the bad memories were just as important as the good. Miranda walked down the hallway, her eyes darting over the family photos and bronzed trophies both she and Darren had received in high school. It was amazing that after almost two decades, her mother's favorite crystal vases still shone beautifully underneath the recessed lights.

After turning off all the lights downstairs, she paused in the entry foyer and stared at the fresh orchids in the vase. They had been delivered right after they'd returned from the hospital. The note written in Caleb's almost illegible sprawl was stamped in her mind.

Welcome Home.

It was amazing how two simple words could wreck her concentration. She was here to take care of her brother and hide Kelly, that was it. She didn't come home to renew a failed romance or obsess about what could have been. Shaking her head, Miranda checked the locks, activated the alarm and went upstairs. The sooner she showered, the sooner her head hit the pillow.

 

She stood on the beach in her dream, dressed in the sheerest cotton. The wind tossed her hair, running through it like a child's fingers. Miranda looked out at the sun as it began its gradual descent, casting a spell over the water. The deep blue glittered like gold. She felt the warmth of his arm around her shoulders.

As they walked along the shore, palm trees swaying with the night breeze seemed to urge them forward along the path. The sand had begun to shimmer and the gentle waves tickled her feet as the foam ran over their toes. Sounds of the surf mixing with the cooing of birds formed a beautiful lullaby. And she was with him. Could anything be better than this? Miranda rested her cheek on his chest and was wrapped in his arms.

His scent seemed to encircle her. His essence lay over her skin like a fine mist. As they stood together, past and future seemed to be laid out before them in brilliant colors of happiness and peace. Life without his smile seemed empty and shallow.

When he spoke, she smiled. His voice, so deep and gentle, was filled with affection.

“Miranda, you are more beautiful than all women and more precious than any rose. I wake in the morning with thoughts of you on my mind. ‘What can I do to make her smile? What words may I say to make her stay with me? How can I heal her hurts? Gain her trust?' I want to protect you, love you. For you I would give everything I possess, for your love would make me the happiest man in the entire world. I beg of you, dear sweet Miranda, will you…”

She stood watching as he began to bend down on one knee.

“Yes?”

“Miranda, would you…”

“Miranda!”

“Yes,” she muttered before opening her eyes. Kelly stood next to the bed. She cradled a notebook in her hands and looked over at Miranda like she was a lunatic.

“Sorry.”

“No, it's okay.” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before looking at the alarm clock—5:45 a.m. “Kelly, why are you up and dressed so early?”

“I don't want to be late to my first day of school.”

“You have to be there by eight-fifteen.”

“I know, but the bus will be here at seven fifty-five and you said yesterday that you wanted to make breakfast. If we start now, you can shower, make breakfast, we can do the dishes and have time left over to watch the news.”

Miranda blinked as her mind struggled to get into gear. And when she finished processing all the information, her amazement grew a hundredfold. The power of genetics stared at her from Kelly's light brown eyes. The child was her father's clone. She couldn't imagine a more organized, systematic, careful and efficient Federal Marshal than Ryan.

“I should have known you were a morning person,” Miranda said shaking her head. She was doomed to spend her life surrounded by them.

“Come on,” Kelly took her hand. “It won't be that bad. You don't even have to make me waffles. I'm more of a pancakes kind of girl anyway. I can show you how my mom used to make smiley faces with blueberries,” she cajoled.

Miranda couldn't help but giggle at the bright smile on Kelly's face. “You were lucky. My mom's the worst cook. I remember when she burnt the toast and started a grease fire one Sunday when frying bacon.”

“Daddy tried to cook an egg in the microwave and it exploded,” Kelly chimed in as they walked to the hallway.

“Darren killed the coffeepot.”

They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Miranda laughed so hard tears spurted from her eyes and her side hurt.

“See. I knew I could do it,” Kelly bragged.

“Do what?”

“Get you out of the bed.”

Miranda snorted. “Good job. Your father would be proud.”

“Yeah, I can't wait to tell him.”

Reaching over to tweak one of Kelly's two braids, she smiled. “He'll call tonight. Now let me get ready. I don't want Ryan's little marshal late for her first day of school.”

 

“She's fine, Ryan. Kelly is a resilient little girl. She worries about you, but other than that I think she's going to be fine in school,” she reassured the Federal Marshal on the phone.

Thankful for the Bluetooth wireless headset that allowed her free use of her arms, Miranda continued wiping off the kitchen countertops. Although she'd hired a maid service to spruce up the house, she still felt the need to do her own bit of cleaning.

“I hope to God this trial ends soon.”

Miranda had known Ryan for over four years, and in that time together she had never seen the agent without a can-do attitude and an impenetrable veneer of confidence. Ryan Walker always got his man or woman. And now he was a client of the very system of which he was a member. Two months ago, his entire life was once again turned upside down as the Russian Mafia somehow discovered the location of a safe house where Ryan was hiding an informant. With his principal gunned down execution-style, Ryan was the only living witness to the murder. His testimony alone would ensure the conviction of Sergey Milonik, the head of Russian-American mafia's largest crime syndicate.

Inwardly, Miranda sighed. It didn't seem fair that at the point where Ryan and Kelly had just seemed to be completely healed from his wife's death from leukemia, he would have to go into witness protection and be separated from his daughter.

“Have you given any more thought as to where you're going to relocate once Milonik is in prison?” she asked.

“That's all I've thought about since this mess started. It's been an eye-opening experience being on the other side of the table, Miranda. My life will never be the same.”

“It can be a good thing, Ryan. You've been mentioning lately that you want to spend more time with Kelly.”

“Sounds like that old adage—Be careful what you wish for…”

“You might just get it,” she finished.

Ryan's laughter traveled well over the phone line and Miranda smiled at the thought that she'd been able to provide some glimmer of humor for her friend.

“Yeah. Well, if things go as planned I'll be down there for my girl within the next two months.”

“Are they going to make you fly blind or are you getting to have a say in where they're going to resettle the two of you?”

“We're working on that. Everybody knows that my case won't follow strict protocol and I'm pushing hard for it to be. I'll take the change in identity, the new career and the relocation. But I refuse to sacrifice my daughter's happiness.”

Miranda stared out the kitchen window to look over the backyard. Instead of the patches of fallen leaves and naked trees, she pictured her mother's garden in the middle of summer. With that happy thought in her mind, she optimistically declared, “It will all work out, you'll see.”

“Your lips to God's ears. Tell Kelly I love her and I'll talk to her soon.”

“Promise.”

“Take care.”

The line went silent. Miranda pulled the slender phone from her pocket and made sure to erase all of her incoming calls just as an extra precaution. Deciding to go ahead and finish up her preparation for dinner that night, she had just opened the refrigerator when the doorbell to her parents' house rang.

Miranda's brow wrinkled. She hadn't expected anyone in the middle of the day. Still cautious from all the stories she'd heard from the field, she peered through the blinds and her confusion doubled at the sight of the luxury SUV in her driveway. Could it be one of her brother's friends? Wouldn't they know that he wasn't scheduled to be discharged from the hospital until tomorrow?

Miranda glanced into the peephole and her heart skipped a couple of beats before moving into overdrive. After running her fingers through her hair and pinching her cheeks, she opened the door. “Caleb. I wasn't expecting you.”

He grinned and held up a shopping bag. “I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop by. Aren't you going to invite me in?”

Miranda eyed him suspiciously. “Of course.”

Caleb closed the door and slowly strolled to the center of the entry hallway. “The place looks great.”

“Thank you.”

“The last time I was here your parents were teasing you about having to work until their sixties to pay for college tuition. I can't believe they're retired and teaching in Africa.”

“Believe it or not, neither can I. Imagine my mother without all the accoutrements of civilization?” Miranda shook her head and chuckled. “It's a little unbelievable.”

“Are they doing okay?”

“They're great. According to my father, it's been like a second wind for their marriage.”

Miranda shook her head and remembered her manners. “Can I offer you something to drink?”

“Anything with caffeine would be greatly appreciated.”

“Long night?”

“It never ended. We had a staff shortage so I pulled another double.”

“Why aren't you at home?”

“Because I needed to talk with you. I don't like the way we left things yesterday and I wanted to apologize in person.”

Miranda could barely swallow past the lump in her throat. Of all the things she'd expected this morning, this had surely been the last; that simply hearing Caleb say he was sorry would show her how deeply, how easily he still affected her.

She came to a stop in the kitchen and turned. “You don't have to apologize.”

“Well, let's just say that I don't apologize, but I would like to start over and I've a peace offering.” He held up the shopping bag. “I hope you haven't had lunch. I brought food. We could practice the old-school way of making up by breaking bread together.”

“There's old school and old testament.” Miranda smiled, crossing her arms over her chest.

Caleb grinned and began to take items out of the bag. “Hungry?”

“Well, I did skip breakfast this morning.”

“Most important meal of the day,” Caleb quipped.

“Which I am sure you skipped as well.” Miranda aimed a sidelong glance toward the man at her side. She reached into the cabinet and pulled out plates and glasses.

“Guilty as charged.”

His grin bloomed wide. In that instance Miranda took in his deep dimple, killer smile and gorgeous brown eyes. Damn, Caleb was good-looking. Her mother had always warned her that looks could be deceptive and she'd discovered the veracity of that advice many a time. But none of that seemed to matter as her pulse rocketed upward. She lowered her eyes and bit the inside of her lip.

There were some men who took their looks seriously and she would have never known until a few of her girlfriends complained that their boyfriends spent more time in the bathroom and shopping malls than they did. Caleb could have been one of those men.

Even in college he always looked good. His shirts freshly pressed, suits perfectly tailored. As he stood in her parents' kitchen in a wool turtleneck and jeans, with the shadow of stubble on his strong jaw, heat began to spiral to all parts of her body. Her eyes locked with his grinning brown ones and Miranda blushed at being caught staring. With a death grip on the plates, she swung around and headed for the table. She was in trouble.

Big trouble.

 

Much later after they'd eaten lunch and cleaned up the dishes, Miranda leaned against the countertop across from Caleb.

“I know that I'm not your favorite person right now, but I need to ask a favor,” Caleb announced.