The Wages of Cin (Cin Fin-Lathen Mysteries Book 4) (18 page)

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.  I may be your muse, but at the moment, I’m feeling rather used.”

He nodded, drawing out his book.  He jotted something down and then looked up.  “I’m going to kill Stoneridge and Goodbody for you and Meyer,” he promised.

“Leave them for the police.”

“You saw what they did to Meyer, and you can still say that?”

“I know it’s hard, but Meyer wouldn’t want you to harm yourself by avenging him.”

“What about you?  I heard you killed before; don’t you want to have a little of your own back?”

“Yes,” I admitted.  “But I would ruin my life and hurt my family with my actions.  I’m already dealing with hell as it is.”

“Because of Sidney?  That was just some fun.”

“No, it has to do with those deaths involving me, you heard about.  You see, the first death was really an accident, but the second one was deliberate.  That maniac was killing someone who meant so much to me.  I didn’t think; I acted.  I don’t know where I found the strength, but it was there, and then he was dead.”  I stopped a moment, trying to pull together the right words.  “My conscious mind knows that I did the right thing, but there isn’t a night that I don’t see his blood on my hands when I close my eyes.  Manuel, that’s not worth it, believe me.”

He studied my face and nodded.  “You’ve been brave, but maybe being brave has made you careless.”

“It has.”

He jotted down more words.  He set the book down and opened his guitar case.  He took a moment to tune it, and then he played.  The music was rich, even in the restrained way he was playing.  He sang:

She was made for sin, red and ripe.  I thought I wanted her, but found out I only wanted to borrow her... borrow her

Cin danced away from me, and I followed

I would follow her to hell and back

She had her pride, sustaining every attack

She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

She had blood on her hands, but love in her heart. She was brave, but bravery made her careless… made her careless

Cin danced away from me, and I followed

I would follow her to hell and back

She had her pride, sustaining every attack

She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

This white knight, in the night, decided to carry her off.  Instead she wanted to save herself… save herself

Cin danced away from me, and I followed

I would follow her to hell and back

She had her pride, sustaining every attack

She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

Cin danced away from me, and I followed

I would follow her to hell and back

She had her pride, sustaining every attack

She didn’t want to be the band’s six pack

He stopped singing and let the music take him someplace part of me was jealous that I could not follow.  When he finished, I wiped the tears from my face.

“That was wonderful.”

“I know. I’m going to use it on my solo album.”

“I’ll look forward to hearing it.”

“Would you come up on stage, so I can sing it to you?” Manuel asked.

“Um, depends on whether I’m having a bad hair day,” I said.

“Gotcha.  Well, I’m out of here.”

“Thanks for the do,” I said.

“No problem,” he said, packing up his guitar.

I heard him say, “Evening, Father,” outside my door.  So I wasn’t surprised when Michael walked in.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“My hairdresser.”

“I understand you need some spiritual guidance.”

“You understood wrong.  Hello, Michael, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s great to see you’re more yourself,” he said, staring at my hair with an odd expression on his face.

“Thank you for trying to get me in with the good guys,” I said in reference to him giving me last rites.

“I’m not sure even I can get you past purgatory.”

I laughed.  “Look, I have no IV to hold me down.”

“You sound a little high.  What are they giving you?”

“Didn’t ask.”

“That cop, is he still hanging around?”

“His name is Dave Buslowski, and he is my boyfriend, so be nice.”

“How the hell…  Isn’t he married?”

“Not anymore.”

“I suppose you had something to do with that.”

“I don’t think so,” I said.  He wasn’t buying it.  “But I want you to be nice to him.”

“I don’t like him.”

“Why?”

“He’s so bossy and old.  Come on, Cin, you don’t want to be tied down.”

“I’m dating him, not going under the plow.”

“What about me?”

“I’m not dating you; you’re a priest. Talk about purgatory, yeesh.”

“Aren’t we friends?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want you to date Buslowski.”

“I think that goes beyond the code of friendship, Michael.”

“I’ve become attached to you.”

“Then unlatch,” I insisted.

“Why?”

“Shut the door, and come and sit down, unless you want all those nuns to overhear what I have to say?”

He did as I asked.

“I don’t know what it is exactly you want from me?” I asked him.

“To be there for me and adore me,” he said.

“Nothing physical?”

“There is more to life than the physical, Cin.”

“Unfortunately, I need the physical.  I need strong arms around me.  I need to be able to go to bed with someone.  Someone that adores
me
.  Someone that accepts that my kids, and that includes Harry, are part of me.”

“We had a great time together.”

“In and out of the hospital,” I said, looking around laughing.  “I think we’re the kind of people that always end up broken unless…”

“Unless we have someone looking out for us,” he finished.

“That’s why I need Buslowski.”

He nodded.  “Take care of yourself.  If ever you need me…”

“I’ll call, and you do the same,” I said.

He got up and took my hand.  “Why didn’t we meet when we were younger, before vows and Harry?”

“Fate.  Maybe God wants it this way? Who knows?”

He left me, leaving the door open.  I stared at that empty space for a very long time.

Noelle looked at me with an expression of frozen horror on her face.

“I just thought you would rather hear it from me,” I said.

“You didn’t know the guy. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t.”  Explaining Sidney was very difficult.

“And Dave knows all of this?”

“Yes.”

“And he still wants you?”

“Oh yes.”

“That’s not what I mean.  So you’ve chosen him over Father Michael?”

“Do you hear yourself? 
Father
Michael isn’t available.  He’s married to the church.”

“But you do have feelings for him.”

“Of a sort.”

“But not romantic?”

“No.”

“Buslowski kind of came as a surprise, didn’t he?”

“Surprised the hell out of me,” I said.  “There’s always been chemistry, but whoa, I really like him.”

“I heard when you came out of the coma, you said you loved him.”

“Yes, I did.  I do.”

“But are you
in
love with him.”

“It’s too early to tell.  He knows this.  We haven’t even had a real date yet.”

“But you slept with him.”

“Geeze, you make it sound all sordid when it’s actually quite wonderful.  For the first time in forever I feel safe, loved and sated.”

“Ew.”

I laughed and got up, walking to the pool’s edge.

“What did you tell Father Michael?”

“The truth,” I said, sitting down and putting my feet over the edge.  The water felt warm and inviting.

“I bet you hurt his feelings.”

“He’ll get over it.  He’s a big boy.”

“Have they caught your kidnappers yet?”

“No.”

“So, this investigation isn’t done yet?”

“Nope.” I slipped into the water.  It felt so good.  “Come in, Noelle, the water’s great.”

“How can you be so calm?” she asked.

“I need to be.”

She rose.  “Don’t overdo the sun.  I’ve got to get ready. Dad is taking Alex and me out to dinner.”

“Have a wonderful time.”

“You could come too.”

“I don’t want to.  Harry and I have some brainstorming to do,” I said.

Noelle went inside.  I swam a few slow laps, paying attention to my muscles as they moved me through the water.  When I finished, I toweled off and went into the kitchen.

Harry was busy making brownies.  My face lit up.  “Harry, you’re making brownies.”

“Yes I am, Cin,” he said in an oddly formal way.

“You know who loves brownies?” I asked.

“Buslowski.  Why do you think I’m making them?”

“Is he coming over?”

“No, we’re going to his house.”

“We are?”

“Yes, in thirty minutes,” he said.  “Are you wearing that?”

“No, I better get dressed.”

“And do something with your hair.  You still have that rag in it.”

“I washed it.”

“Cin, there comes a time in every stoner’s life when they have to let go of Bob Marley.”

“You are so cruel, Harry.”

He smiled.  “I’ll give you an hour if you take a shower and wash your hair.”

“You’re bribing me with extra time?”

“I think you need to make a little effort.”

“Okay.  But last time I got dressed up, I was kidnapped.”

“Yes, but I’m here to protect you.”

“Yes, you are,” I said.  “You’re much nicer than Deputy Wilma.”

“She was rather dour,” he agreed.

Buslowski had insisted that for my first few days at home we have a deputy with us.  Sidney and Gareth hadn’t been caught yet.  But time and manpower limits had progressed, and we’d waved goodbye to Deputy Wilma that morning with the promise that at no time would any of us Lathens be on our own at home.

I toweled off, checking out my figure.  I had lost more weight, much to my delight.  I was not thin by any account, but my clothes were loose and comfortable.  I decided to dress in layers.  I had never been to Dave’s place, so I didn’t know if the air-conditioner worked or was too cold.  So I started off with a sexy, little, short outfit and pulled on a pair of sweats over it with a soft hoodie.  I wrapped a silk scarf through my hair, trying to disguise the hank of hair that had been cut out of the left front by Sidney.  I put on some light makeup, pleased to see my face looked more tan than yellow from the bruising.

I looked at the clock and ran out of the room carrying the tennis shoes Dave bought for me.  Harry was standing at the door.  “You’re late.”

“Do I pass inspection?”

Harry swallowed hard.  “I don’t think Buslowski is going to be able to concentrate on our meeting, but you do look nice.”

“Thank you.  You look nice too, Harry.”

He blushed.  “You’re feeling much better, aren’t you?”

“Oh yes.  I feel much stronger.”

“The nightmares?”

“Still having them.  I’ve been seeing Meyer.  He holds my hand at night and says
‘Duas mãos juntas.’
”

“That’s creepy.”

“I think he wants me to remember something.  I’m hoping that you and Dave with be able to help me.”

“If Sidney couldn’t jog your memory, how do you think we’re going to be able to do it?”

“Ouch, you are a nasty little boy, Harry.”

“I know.”

We drove to the complex where Dave had rented a condo.  We found a parking space and wandered around the quad until we found his door.  He answered the door holding onto a phone.  He waved us in.

The place was small but cozy, the furniture a mixture of rental leftovers and one delicious-looking recliner.  Harry tossed the bag of brownies on the counter and sat in the chair, smiling.  I made do with the sofa, curling my legs under me.

Dave got off the phone and walked into the room.  He looked at Harry in his chair, and I thought for a moment he was going to toss him out.  I patted the sofa next to me.  He looked down at me and smiled.  “I’m at cross purposes.  I’m not going to be able to work on this if I’m sitting next to you, Cin.  Harry, get out, and give the chair to Cin.”

I was surprised.  I jumped up.  Harry got out and glared at me as we passed.  I sat down and sunk in.  “Oh my god. I’ve got to get me some of this.  Oh baby, this is so…”

Harry and Dave looked at me oddly.

“What?”

“Can’t you hear yourself?” Dave said, his voice breaking.

“I’ll be quiet,” I promised.  I couldn’t help sighing though.

Dave looked at me again.

I hid my face and volunteered to get out of the chair.  I went into the kitchen and dragged back a chair from the table.  I sat down in the rigid wooden chair, crossed my ankles primly, and put my hands in my lap.

“Any news?” Harry asked, breaking the silence.

Dave sat down in his chair before he answered, “Vicki admits that Sidney was at her place the first night, but after that, she doesn’t know where he went.  We searched Gareth’s apartment but didn’t find anything that would explain why they would kidnap you or kill Meyer.”

“I keep having this nightmare.  Meyer comes to me and grabs my hand and says ‘Remember.’  Remember what?  I thought if I told you as much of the meeting I had with him, perhaps you guys could see something that I can’t see.”

“I’ll try,” Dave said.

I pulled out a square of folded papers and handed one to Harry. “I wrote down what I said.  Harry, you be me.  I’ll be Meyer.”

I, as Meyer, came in and closed the door.

“I’m gay,” I said.

“I know,” Harry said, playing along.

“Good.  I was wondering if I should come out on the tour.”

“That’s up to you.  You’ll break a couple of hearts but maybe open some others,” Harry said.

“I hear you.  I have a partner.  His name is Sean.  We were thinking of adopting some kids.  That’s why I need a steady job.  I didn’t like Caroline.”

“She wasn’t easy to like.”

“I fought with her at the party.”

“When?”

“Remember when I saluted you and Stoneridge?”

“Yes.”

“Stop,” Buslowski said. “How did he salute you?”

I put two fingers to my forehead and pulled them away, pointing at Dave.

“Do that again.”

I did.

He wrote something down.  “Go on, please.”

“After the salute,” Harry said, reminding me where I was.

“Right before that.  A lot of people heard us screaming at each other,” I continued.

“I talked to her after that, so I’d say you were in the clear.”

“But I could have waited for her.  Lured her outside and killed her.”

“Tell me, do you smoke?”

“Stop.  Why did you ask him that?” Dave asked.

“I wanted to see if he was the one watching Mandy in the dark.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he didn’t.  Cigarettes killed his father.  I then shifted the conversation back to children.”

“How many kids are you thinking of adopting?” Harry asked, resuming his role as me.

“Three.  Sean wants four, but three is an odd number and lucky.”

“I see.”

“Sidney’s an ass.”

“Thank you, I’m beginning to see that.  Hey, it was only a few days.  I enjoyed myself, and I survived,” Harry said, his voice falling off, looking over at me.

“Kind of a concert hookup,” I said as Meyer.

“Yes, exactly.  I don’t regret it, even if it makes me look weak.  Sometimes you just have to go for it.”

“I agree,” I said.  I saw that Dave was a bit uncomfortable, but I needed his help. He would just have to suck it up.

“I hope you get your kids.  I’ve enjoyed mine,” Harry said.

“I keep forgetting that Alex is yours.”

“I have a daughter too.”

“One of each,” I nodded, as Meyer had done. “One boy, one girl, sibling symmetry.  I guess Sean and I could rethink this.  We wanted three but then four, and then my mind’s back at two, sibling symmetry,” I repeated.

“
Sibling symmetry
sounds like a song title.  Or a children’s book.”

“Stop!  Say that again, Cin.”

“One of each.  One boy, one girl, sibling symmetry.  I guess Sean and I could rethink this.  We wanted three but then four, and then my mind’s back at two, sibling symmetry.

“Wait.”  He wrote down numbers, talking at the same time, “One of each, that’s one and one, three wanted but back to four, and the mind’s back at two.  It could be a combination.”

“What?” Harry asked, getting up and walking over to look at the paper.

“If it’s a combination lock, we separate these numbers into 3.  Like: 11 34 2 or 1 13 42, something like that. Or it’s an alarm code: 11342.  Finish the conversation, maybe there’s more,” Dave said.

Harry started, “
Sibling symmetry
sounds like a song title.  Or a children’s book.”

“Could be.  I’m not such a nice person, Cin.  I’m angry inside.”

“You’ve got to let that go.  Do you want me to get you some help?”

“No, I don’t know.  Sean thinks that I need to see a shrink.”

“What do you think?”

“Ha, I see what you did there. That’s very shrinkish.” I continued, “I should have warned you that you were just a bucket-list item.”

“Nah, it’s not that important,” Harry said.

“Cin, most of the guys are alright.  Gareth has changed, but Elijah and Manuel are the same dudes.”  I added, as myself, “We then just talked about Gareth not being worth knowing, and we finished the conversation with Meyer inviting me to join him and his partner on a trip to Miami.  That’s it,” I said, looking over at Dave.

“Let me ask you a couple of questions.  What was Meyer like at the meeting?”

He made a point to hold my hand, and I mean all the time.  It was getting a bit embarrassing.  At one point he whispered, ‘
Duas mãos juntas.’
I didn’t understand him at the time.  Still don’t actually.” I said.

“Something to do with a hand and the numbers 11342 or 11 3 42,” Dave said.

“Don’t forget the two-finger salute,” I said.

“I don’t think he was saluting you, Cin.  It was who you were with,” Harry said.

“Sidney?  But why?  You don’t think Meyer was in on something with Sidney, do you?”

Dave had his eyes closed, but he was talking.  Cin turned and listened.  “
Duas
mãos…  I think that’s Portuguese.  One hand, no, two hands. 
Juntas
… together?”  His eyes popped open.  “Brazil has a shipping company whose name translates to Two Hands Together.  Its logo is two clasped hands.  I think the number is a shipping container.”