The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven (55 page)

  
              “I'm not disturbing you am I?” she asked, popping her head in the door.

  
              Yes.

  
              “No, what's up?”

  
              “Well, as you know, Christmas is only about two weeks away.”

  
              “Really, I hadn't noticed,” I admitted. Lately all the days just seemed to blend together.

  
              Jasa sat down on the bed next to me. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail. She had on dark blue jeans and a light colored sweater that complemented her pale complexion. “I was wondering if you would like to go shopping with me?” she asked.

  
              “Sorry, I’m not in the mood.”

  
              “I understand,” she said, fidgeting with her sweater. I knew there was more. So I sat patiently and waited. “It's just I'm having a hard time finding a present for Xander and I thought maybe you could help me.” The last thing I wanted to do was go shopping, but she had a way of making me feel bad for saying no. She was nothing but nice to me since I returned. “I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to.” She stood up thinking my silence meant no. “I'll just leave you alone then,” she said, walking away.

  
              “No...wait,” I sighed, giving in. “I'll go.” 

  
              “You sure? You don't have to if you don't want to.”

  
              “No, it's fine. I should probably get my shopping done. Just give me a few minutes to get ready.”

  
              “Take all the time you need. I'll be downstairs when you're ready,” she said smiling at me and closing the door behind her.

  
              I originally planned on having Danni do my shopping for me so I wouldn't have to, but it was probably better that I did it myself. I forced myself out of bed and into the shower.

*

Jamila

Downstairs in the kitchen, Jasa informed Jamila that Ella had agreed to go shopping with her. “Oh Jasa, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate you getting her out of the house,” Jamila said.

                 “It's no problem. I've been meaning to find an excuse to spend more time with her. I think this could be the perfect opportunity to get to know her better.”

  
              “I should probably warn you, I don't think she'll be in the mood to talk much,” Danni chimed in.

  
              “Give her some time. She'll open up,” Jamila hoped. “She has been through a lot. I just don't know what to do to help her.” She shook her head, worried for her daughter.

  
              “Jamila, Ella's a strong girl. You know she'll get through this. She just needs time to heal,” Danni said, placing a kind hand on Jamila’s shoulder.

  
              “Thank you Danni. I'm so glad you're here. Ella really responds to you best. I don't know what I'd do without you,” she said, hugging Danni tightly.

  
              “I'll always be here,” Danni told her as she shot a look to Jasa. Jamila knew there was tension between the two girls, but right now wasn't the time to deal with that issue. Not when her daughter was in so much pain. Ella was her first priority. 

  
              “You're more than welcome to join us,” Jasa said, inviting Danni along.

  
              “Thank you, but I have too much work to do,” Danni politely declined, getting back to work.

*

Ella

I stepped out of the shower, wiping the fog from the mirror. I stared at my reflection. After receiving my powers my appearance has altered slightly. My skin was clearer than it has ever been and looked as smooth as silk. My teeth were whiter and my hair was silky, shiny, and a little longer, almost half way down my back. Even my eyes deepened in color. While I always categorized my eyes as green, they had a habit of changing. One day they looked green, some days yellow, and others a mixture of both, making them look hazel. If you looked close enough you could even see a few brown dots around the irises. My mom used to tell me my eyes reminded her of a child with a playful nature because they were always changing – whatever that meant.

                 Another startling new feature was the electric blue streak that showed up in my hair after I had received my powers. It was about two inches wide and sat on the right side just behind my ear. It flowed from the roots all the way down to the ends. I tried everything I could to get rid of it, aside from cutting it. I dyed it, bleached it, but nothing worked. I was stuck with it. And now from all the dye my hair was black like a raven. I didn't mind the black hair, but it did cause the blue streak to stand out more. I got used to the blue after a while. For the most part I could hide it if I wanted to, but I never went anywhere so it didn't matter. 

I quickly dried my hair and pulled it into a low ponytail on the side. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I threw on a hat, zipped up my boots, and grabbed my purse on my way downstairs to meet Jasa.

                 I found her in the kitchen talking to my mom. “I'm ready,” I told her.

  
              “You girls have fun,” my mom said. She gave me a hug and a kiss before we left – one of many since I've been home.

  
              “You need us to pick up anything while we're out?” Jasa asked.

  
              “No thank you,” she said, smiling sweetly. We made our way outside to the car where there were guardians waiting for us, making me regret going.

When we reached the mall, I was overwhelmed with the all the people out shopping. I should have expected this. It was two weeks before Christmas as Jasa had pointed out. I felt uncomfortable with the way people stared at us as we walked through the stores. No
doubt from being flanked by guardians. I overheard a few people whispering, wondering if we were celebrities, or someone important enough to be so heavily guarded. I tried my best to ignore them all.

  
              I was not in the mood to shop and I was having a hard time acting like it. Jasa didn't push me to talk and I appreciated her for that. She would ask my opinion every now and then, but all I gave her was a nod or a one word response. After a while she stopped asking. About an hour into our shopping, Jasa asked if I wanted to grab something to eat. I agreed and followed her to the food court. I ordered a fruit salad not feeling very hungry. I barely ate much lately so I just more or less picked at my food.

  
              “I'm sorry about your friend Josie,” Jasa said after a few minutes of silence. Of all the topics she could have picked, she chose this one. Honestly, anything would have been better, even talking about something as lame as the weather. “I can't imagine what you're going through.”

  
              “No, you can't,” I said curtly, annoyed that she would bring it up.

  
              “I didn't mean...I just I…” she said, stumbling over her words.

  
              “Look, I know you're just trying to help, but I'd rather not talk about it.” Jasa nodded and went back to eating her salad. The awkward silence that followed made me feel guilty for snapping. I knew she was just trying to be polite. I had no doubt she was nervous just being around me without the added drama, but this was not something I wanted to talk about, especially not with a stranger. Regardless of my feelings I still felt inclined to apologize. “I'm sorry,” I said. Jasa peered up from her salad. “Everyone tries to get me to talk about it. They think that if I discuss what happened I'm going to magically be okay. But it won't change the fact that my friends are dead because of me.”

  
              “You think it's your fault?” she asked, slightly surprised.

  
              “Of course it is. Jack killed them to get to me,” I said before I mentally slapped myself in the head. No wonder Jasa looked so confused. She didn't know the real reason Jack was after me. Like everyone else she believed Jack was just some jealous kid who snapped and went on a killing spree taking out anyone who hurt him mentally or physically. Well that was the story my dad and his people spun to keep our existence a secret. I needed to be more careful when I spoke around humans. Another thing I would have to learn to get used to.

             
Before I could correct myself Jasa spoke up. “I don't think your friends would want you to believe that. I think they'd want you to know that they loved you and wouldn't want you to blame yourself for something you couldn't control. Most people would want you to celebrate their lives instead of mourning their deaths.”

  
              She had a point. I could just hear Josie now.
“Seriously Ella, get a grip. This boo-hoo look is
not attractive and frowning that much is going to give you wrinkles
.” I smiled slightly at the thought of Josie lecturing me. “Maybe you should start a journal?” Jasa suggested, distracting me from my thoughts. “Since you don't want to talk to anyone, maybe writing your feelings down will help clear your head.”

  
              “Maybe,” I shrugged.

  
              We finished our lunch and then continued shopping. I told Jasa to get Xander anything from the Apple store and she would be good. She got him the latest IPad and I let her know it was a good choice. I even managed to get all my Christmas presents checked off my list including a few items for myself. One of those items was a journal. I took Jasa's suggestion and thought it might help me if I wrote down my feelings. As lame as I thought it was, I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. What did I have to lose?

  
              When we got home, I carried all my stuff upstairs to my room where I found my mom, snooping. “Mom, what are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.

  
              She turned around, startled. “Oh, honey, I didn't hear you come in. I was just putting away your laundry,” she said, closing the top drawer of my dresser.

  
              “Where's Danni?” She was the one who usually dropped off my laundry. I preferred that because I knew she wouldn't snoop, unlike my mom. I didn't keep clothes in the top drawer of my dresser and I’m pretty sure my mom knew that. 

  
              “I sent her on some errands,” she replied, avoiding the fact that I just busted her.

  
              Since I had nothing to hide, I ignored her, and sat on my bed. I learned it was my parents who hid things, not me. I unsnapped my watch and placed it on the nightstand noticing my pictures were back. I sighed and lay back on the bed knowing that was my mom's doing. After placing my sweaters in the wrong draw, she came over, and sat next to me on the bed. “How was shopping?” she asked.

  
              “It was fine.”

  
              “Wanna show me what you got?” She leaned back on her elbow while I sat up and grabbed my bags, dumping the stuff on my bed. Most of my bags consisted of hooded sweatshirts, jeans, and plain tops.  My mom sifted through my purchases. She tried to hide her disappointment when she saw all the plain, basic items I bought, but I knew there was worry behind her smile. She was used to me wearing bright, sparkly tops, but lately I wasn't into anything bright and sparkly. “What else did you buy?” she asked, reaching for the other bags.

  
              I quickly pulled them away from her. “That, you can't see,” I said, tucking the bags under the bed that contained her presents. She smiled and leaned back on the bed. “I got some make-up, perfume, and lotions too.” I dumped out the cosmetics and spread everything out.

  
              “Anything I'll like?” she asked, searching through the pile.

  
              “Maybe,” I shrugged.

  
              She frowned at all the dark and neutral colored shadows I bought. She was used to seeing me in pinks and purples. Again something I was not in the mood for. “Danni's going to bring Hadley over later and we're going to bake some cookies. You wanna help us?” she asked, changing the subject.

  
              “Maybe,” I said, lying back on the bed.

  
              “You know, helping me bake cookies for Christmas used to be your favorite thing.”

  
              “I know,” I sighed.

  
              “Ella honey?” she said warily. “I know this year has been rough for you.”

  
              “That's an understatement.”

  
              “I just want you to know we're here for you. Whatever you need.”

  
              “I know mom.”

  
              “I wish I could tell you things will get better over time, but that's up to you. The only person who's going to help you heal is yourself. I will be here for you every step of the way, but you have to find it within yourself.”