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Authors: Lois McMaster Bujold

Tags: #Science fiction, #General, #Fiction, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Miles (Fictitious character) - Fiction, #Vorkosigan, #Miles (Fictitious character)

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BOOK: The warrior's apprentice
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Whoops, thought Miles. The recopied photostat was not so fuzzy that he couldn’t make out the blunt, uncapitalized “unknown” printed in some forgotten clerk’s hand. Miles swallowed, realizing at last why a certain insulting epithet seemed to get under Bothari’s skin when all others were allowed to roll off, patiently disdained.

“Maybe I can make it out,” Elena offered, misinterpreting his delay.

The screen went blank at a twitch of his hand. “Konstantine,” Miles declared firmly, without hesitation. “Same as his. But both his parents were dead by the time he joined the Service.”

“Konstantine Bothari junior,” Elena mused. “Hm.”

Miles stared into the blank screen, and suppressed an urge to scream with frustration. Another damned artificial social wedge driven between himself and Elena. A father who was a bastard was about as far from being “right and proper” for a young Barrayaran virgin as anything he could think of. And it was obviously no secret—-his father must know, and God knew how many hundreds of other people besides. Equally obviously, Elena did not. She was rightfully proud of her father, his elite service, his position of high trust. Miles knew how painfully hard she struggled sometimes for some expression of approval from the old stone carving. How strange to realize that pain might cut both ways—did Bothari then dread the loss of that scarcely-acknowledged admiration? Well, the Sergeant’s semi-secret was safe with him.

He flipped, fast-forward, through the years of Bothari’s life. “Still no sign of your mother,” he said to Elena. “She must be under that seal. Damn, and I thought this was going to be easy.” He stared thoughtfully into space. “Try hospital records. Deaths, births—you sure you were born here in Vorbarr Sultana?”

“As far as I know.”

Several minutes of tedious search produced records on a fair number of Botharis, none related to the Sergeant or Elena in any way. “Ah ha!” Miles broke out suddenly. “I know what I haven’t tried. Imp Mil!”

“They don’t have an obstetrics department,” Elena said doubtfully.

“But if an accident—soldier’s wife and all that—maybe she was rushed to the nearest facility, and the Imperial Military Hospital was it...” He crooned over the machine. “Searching, searching... huh!”

“Did you find me?” she asked excitedly.

“No—I found me.” He flipped over screen after screen of documentation. “What a scramble it must have been, making military research clean up after its own product. Lucky for me they’d imported those uterine replicators—yes, there they are—they could never have tried some of those treatments in vivo, they’d have killed Mother. There’s good old Dr. Vaagen—ah ha! So he was in military research, before. Makes sense—I guess he was their poison expert. I wish I’d known more about this when I was a kid, I could have agitated for two birthdays, one when Mother had the cesarian, and one when they finally popped me out of the replicator.”

“Which did they choose?”

“Cesarian day. I’m glad. Makes me only six months younger that you are. Otherwise you’d be nearly a year older—and I’ve been warned about older women...” This babble won a smile at last, and he relaxed a little.

He paused, staring at the screen with slitted eyes, then entered another search query. “That’s weird,” he muttered.

“What?”

“A secret military medical research project—with my father as project director, no less.”

“I never knew he was in research too,” said Elena, sounding enormously impressed. “He sure got around.”

“That’s what’s curious. He was a Staff tactician. Never had anything to do with research, as far as I know.” A by-now-familiar code appeared at his next inquiry. “Blast! Another seal. Ask a simple question, get a simple brick wall... There’s Dr. Vaagen, hand-in-rubberglove with Father. Vaagen must have been doing the actual work, then. That explains that. I want under that seal, damn it...” He whistled a soundless tune, staring into space, fingers drumming.

Elena began to look dampened. “You’re getting that mulish look,” she observed nervously. “Maybe we should just let it go. It doesn’t really matter by now.”

“Illyan’s mark’s not on this one. It might be enough.”

Elena bit her lip. “Look, Miles, it’s not really—” but he was already launched. “What are you doing?”

“Trying one of Father’s old access codes. I’m pretty sure of it, all but a few digits.”

Elena gulped.

“Jackpot!” Miles cried softly, as the screen began disgorging data at last. He read avidly. “So that’s where those uterine replicators came from! They brought them back from Escobar, after the invasion failed. The spoils of war, by God. Seventeen of them, loaded and working. They must have seemed like really high tech, in their day. I wonder if we looted them?”

Elena paled. “Miles—they weren’t doing human experiments or, or anything like that, were they? Surely your father wouldn’t have countenanced...”

“I don’t know. Dr. Vaagen can be pretty, um, onetrack, about his research...” Relief eased his voice. “Oh, I see what was going on. Look here...” The holoscreen began scrolling yet another file in midair; he waved his fingers through it. “They were all sent to the Imperial Service Orphanage. They must have been some children of our men killed at Escobar.”

Elena’s voice tensed, “Children of men killed at Escobar? But where are their mothers?”

They stared at each other. “But we’ve never had any women in the Service, except for a few civilian medtechs,” began Miles.

Elena’s long fingers closed urgently on his shoulder. “Look at the dates.”

He scrolled the file again.

“Miles,” she hissed.

“Yes, I see it.” He stopped the screen. “Female infant released to the custody of Admiral Aral Vorkosigan. Not sent to the orphanage with the rest.”

“The date—Miles, that’s my birthday!”

He unpeeled her fingers. “Yes, I know. Don’t crush my collarbone, please.”

“Could it be me? Is it me?” Her face tightened with hope and dismay.

“I—it’s all numbers, you see,” he said cautiously. “But there’s plenty of medical identification—footprints, retinal, bloodtype—stick your foot over here.”

Elena hopped about, removing shoes and hose. Miles helped her place her right foot over the holovid plate. He restrained himself with a twitching effort from running a hand up that incredible silken length of thigh, blooming from her rumpled skirts. Skin like an orchid petal. He bit his lips; pain, pain would help him to focus. Damn tight trousers anyway. He hoped she wouldn’t notice...

Setting up the optical laser check helped his focus rather better. A flickering red light played over her sole for a few seconds. He set the machine to comparing whorls and ridges. “Allowing for the change from infant to adult—my God, Elena, it is you!” He preened. If he couldn’t be a soldier, perhaps he had a future as a detective...

Elena’s dark gaze transfixed him. “But what does it mean?” Her face congealed suddenly. “Don’t I have— was I—am I some kind of clone, or manufactured?” She blinked suddenly liquid eyes, and her voice trembled. “I don’t have a mother? No mother, and it was all just—”

The triumph of his successful identification seeped out of him at her distress. Clod! Now he’d turned her dream mother into a nightmare—no, it was her own flying imagination that was doing that. “Uh, uh—no, certainly not! What an idea! You’re obviously your father’s daughter—no insult intended—it just means your mother was killed at Escobar, instead of here. And furthermore,” he sprang up to declaim dramatically, “this makes you my long-lost sister!”

“Huh?” said Elena, bewildered.

“Sure. Or—anyway, there’s a 1/17th chance that we came out of the same replicator.” He spun about her, conjuring farce against her terrors. “My l/17th twin sister! It must be Act V! Take heart, this means you’re bound to marry the Prince in the next scene!”

She laughed through her tears. The door rattled ominously. The corporal outside declaimed with unnecessary volume, “Good evening, sir!”

“Shoes! My shoes! Give me back my stockings!” hissed Elena.

Miles thrust them at her, killed the comconsole, and sealed it with one frantic, fluid motion. He catapulted onto the sofa, grabbed Elena about the waist and carrying her down with him. She giggled and swore at him, struggling with her second shoe. One tear was still making a glistening track down her cheek.

He slipped a hand up into her shining hair, and bent her face toward his. “We better make this look good. I don’t want to arouse Captain Koudelka’s suspicions.” He hesitated, his grin fading into seriousness. Her lips melted onto his.

The lights flicked on; they sprang apart. He peered up over her shoulder, and forgot for a moment how to exhale.

Captain Koudelka. Sergeant Bothari. And Count Vorkosigan.

Captain Koudelka looked suffused, a slight upward curl escaping from one corner of his mouth as it from enormous inward pressure. He glanced sideways at his companions, and tamped it out. The Sergeant’s craggy face was icy. The Count was darkening rapidly.

Miles finally found something to do with all the air he’d taken in. “All right,” he said in a firm didactic tone, “Now, after ‘Grant me this boon,’ on the next line you say, ‘With all my heart; and much it joys me too, to see you are become so penitent.’ “ He glanced up most impenitently at his father. “Good evening, sir. Are we taking up your space? We can go practice elsewhere...”

“Yes, let’s,” Elena squeaked, picking up her cue with alacrity. She produced a rather inane smile for the three adults as Miles towed her safely past. Captain Koudelka returned the smile with all his heart. The Count somehow managed to smile at her and frown menacingly at Miles at the same time. The Sergeant’s frown was democratically universal. The duty guard’s smirk broadened to a muffled snicker as they fled down the hall.

“Can’t miss, eh?” Elena snarled out of the corner of her mouth at Miles as they rose up the lift tube.

He executed a pirouette in midair, shamelessly. “A strategic withdrawal in good order; what more can you ask for being out-gunned, out-numbered, and out-ranked? We were just practicing that old play. Very cultural. Who could possibly object? I think I’m a genius.”

“I think you’re an idiot,” she said fiercely. “My other stocking is hanging over the back of your shoulder.”

“Oh.” He twisted his neck for a look, and plucked off the filmy, clinging garment. He held it out to her with a sickly, apologetic smile. “I guess that didn’t look too good.”

She glared at him and snatched it back. “And now I’m going to get lectured at—he treats every male that comes near me like a potential rapist anyway—he’ll probably forbid me to speak to you, too, now. Or send me back to the country forever...” Her eyes were swimming for their lives. They reached the door. “And on top of that, he’s—he’s lied to me about my mother—”

She fled into her bedroom, slamming the door so hard that she came close to taking off a few fingers from the hand Miles was raising in protest. He leaned against the door and called through the heavy carved wood anxiously. “You don’t know that! There’s undoubtedly some perfectly logical explanation—I’ll get it figured out—

“Go AWAY!” her muffled wail came back.

He shuffled uncertainly around the hall for a few

more minutes, hoping for a second chance, but the door remained uncompromisingly blank and silent. After a time he became conscious of the stiff figure of the floor duty guard at the end of the corridor. The man was politely not looking at him. The Prime Minister’s security detail was, after all, among the most discreet, as well as the most alert, available. Miles swore under his breath, and shuffled back to the lift tube.

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

*
      
*
      
*

 

 
Miles ran into his mother in the back passage downstairs.

“Have you seen your father lately, heart?” Countess Vorkosigan asked him.

“Yes,” unfortunately, “he went into the library with Captain Koudelka and the Sergeant.”

“Sneaking off for a drink,” she analyzed wryly, “with his old troopers. Well, I can’t blame him. He’s so tired. It’s been a ghastly day. And I know he hasn’t gotten enough sleep.” She looked him over penetratingly. “How have you been sleeping?”

Miles shrugged. “All right.”

“Mm. I’d better go catch him before he has more than one—ethanol has an unfortunate tendency to make him blunt, and that egg-sucker Count Vordrozda just arrived, in company with Admiral Hessman. He’ll have trouble ahead if those two are getting in bed together.”

“I shouldn’t think the far right could muster that much support, with all the old soldiers solidly behind Father.”

“Oh, Vordrozda’s not a rightist at heart. He’s just personally ambitious, and he’ll ride any pony that’s going his way. He’s been oozing around Gregor for months...” Anger sparked in her grey eyes. “Flattery and innuendo, oblique criticisms and these nasty little barbs stuck in all the boy’s self doubts—I’ve watched him at work. I don’t like him,” she said positively.

Miles grinned. “I never would have guessed. But surely you don’t have to worry about Gregor.” His mother’s habit of referring to the Emperor as if he were her rather backward adopted child always tickled him. In a sense it was true, as the former Regent had been Gregor’s personal as well as political guardian during his minority.

She grimaced. “Vordrozda’s not the only one who wouldn’t hesitate to corrupt the boy in any area he could sink his claws into—moral, political, what you will—if he thought it would advance himself one centimeter, and damn the long range good of Barrayar—or of Gregor, for that matter.” Miles recognized this instantly as a quote from his mother’s sole political oracle, his father. “I don’t know why these people can’t write a constitution. Oral law—what a way to try and run an interstellar power.” This was homegrown opinion, pure Betan.

“Father’s been in power so long,” said Miles equably. “I think it would take a gravity torpedo blast to shift him out of office.”

“That’s been tried,” remarked Countess Vorkosigan, growing abstracted. “I wish he’d get serious about retiring. We’ve been lucky so far,” her eye fell on him wistfully, “—mostly.”

She’s tired too, Miles thought.

“The politicking never stops,” she added, staring at the floor. “Not even for his father’s funeral.” She brightened wickedly. “Nor do his relations. If you see him before I do, tell him Lady Vorpatril’s looking for him. That’ll make his day—no, better not. We’d never be able to find him, then.”

Miles raised his brows. “What does Aunt Vorpatril want him to do for her now?”

“Well, ever since Lord Vorpatril died she’s been expecting him to stand in loco parentis to that idiot Ivan, which is fine, up to a point. But she nailed me a while ago, when she couldn’t find Aral—seems she wants Aral to stand the boy up in a corner somewhere and brace him for—er—swiving the servant girls, which ought to embarrass them both thoroughly. I’ve never understood why these people won’t clip their kids’ tubes and turn them loose at age twelve to work out their own damnation, like sensible folk. You may as well try to stop a sandstorm with a windsock...” She went off toward the library, muttering her favorite swear-word under her breath, “Barrayarans!”

Wet darkness had fallen outside, turning the windows into dim mirrors of the subdued and mannered revelry within Vorkosigan House. Miles stared into his own reflection in passing; dark hair, grey eyes, pale shadowed face, features too sharp and strongly marked to satisfy aesthetics. And an idiot, to boot.

The hour reminded him of dinner, probably cancelled due to the press of events. He determined to forage among the canapes, and collect enough to sustain a strategic retreat back to his bedroom for the rest of the evening. He peered around a hall arch, to be sure none of the dreaded geriatric set were nearby. The room appeared to contain only middle-aged people he didn’t know. He nipped over to a table, and began stuffing food into a fine fabric napkin.

“Stay away from those purple things,” a familiar, affable voice warned in a whisper. “I think they’re some kind of seaweed. Is your mother on a nutrition kick again?”

Miles looked up into the open, annoyingly handsome face of his second cousin, Ivan Vorpatril. Ivan too held a napkin, filled close to capacity. His eyes looked slightly hunted. A peculiar bulge interrupted the smooth lines of his brand-new cadet’s uniform jacket.

Miles nodded toward the bulge, and whispered in astonishment, “Are they letting you carry a weapon already?”

“Hell, no.” Ivan flicked the jacket open after a conspiratorial glance around, probably for Lady Vorpatril. “It’s a bottle of your father’s wine. Got it from one of the servants before he’d poured it into those itty-bitty glasses. Say—any chance of you being my native guide to some out-of-the-way corner of this mausoleum? The duty guards don’t let you wander around by yourself, upstairs. The wine is good, the food is good, except for those purple things, but my God, the company at this party!...

Miles nodded agreement in principle, even though he was inclined to include Ivan himself in the category of “my God the company.” “All right. You pick up another bottle of wine,” that should be enough to anesthetize him to tolerance, “and I’ll let you hide out in my bedroom. That’s where I was going anyway. Meet you by the lift tube.”

Miles stretched out his legs on his bed with a sigh as Ivan pooled their picnic and opened the first bottle of wine. Ivan emptied a generous third of the bottle into each of the two bathroom tumblers, and handed one to his crippled cousin.

“I saw old Bothari carrying you off the other day.” Ivan nodded toward the injured legs, and took a refreshing gulp. Grandfather, Miles thought, would have had a fit to see that particular vintage treated so cavalierly. He took a more respectful sip himself, by way of libation to the old man’s ghost, even though Grandfather’s tart assertion that Miles couldn’t tell a good vintage from last Tuesday’s washwater was not far off the mark. “Too bad,” Ivan went on cheerfully. “You’re really the lucky one, though.”

“Oh?” muttered Miles, closing his teeth on a canape.

“Hell yes. Training starts tomorrow, y’know—”

“So I’ve heard.”

“—I’ve got to report to my dormitory by midnight at the latest. Thought I was going to spend my last night as a free man partying, but instead I got stuck here. Mother, y’know. But tomorrow we take our preliminary oaths to the Emperor, and by God! if I’ll let her treat me like a boy after that!” He paused to consume a small stuffed sandwich. “Think of me, out running around in the rain at dawn tomorrow, while you’re tucked away all cozy in here . . .”

“Oh, I will.” Miles took another sip, and another.

“Only two breaks in three years,” Ivan rambled on between bites. “I might as well be a condemned prisoner. No wonder they call it service. Servitude is more like it.” Another gulp, to wash down a meat-stuffed pastry. “But your time is all your own—you can do whatever you want with it.”

“Every minute,” agreed Miles blandly. Neither the Emperor nor anyone else demanded his service. He couldn’t sell it—couldn’t give it away...

Ivan, blessedly, fell silent for a few minutes, refueling. After a time he said hesitantly. “No chance of your father coming up here, is there?”

Miles jerked his chin up. “What, you’re not afraid of him, are you?”

Ivan snorted. “The man turns entire General Staffs to pudding, for God’s sake. I’m just the Emperor’s rawest recruit. Doesn’t he terrify you?”

Miles considered the question seriously. “Not exactly, no. Not in the way you mean.”

Ivan rolled his eyes heavenward in disbelief.

“Actually,” added Miles, thinking back to the recent scene in the library, “if you’re trying to duck him this might not be the best place, tonight.”

“Oh?” Ivan swirled his wine in the bottom of his cup. “I’ve always had the feeling he doesn’t like me,” he added glumly.

“Oh, he doesn’t mind you,” said Miles, taking pity. “At least as you appear on his horizon at all. Although I think I was fourteen before I found out that Ivan wasn’t your middle name.” Miles cut himself off. That-idiotIvan was beginning a lifetime of Imperial service tomorrow. Lucky-Miles was emphatically not. He took another gulp of wine, and longed for sleep. They finished the canapes, and Ivan emptied the first bottle and opened the second.

There came an authoritative double knock on the door. Ivan sprang to his feet. “Oh, hell, that’s not him, is it?”

“A junior officer,” said Miles, “is required to stand and salute when a senior officer enters. Not hide under the bed.”
    
“I wasn’t thinking of hiding under the bed!” said Ivan, stung. “Just in the bathroom.”

“Don’t bother. I guarantee there’ll be so much covering fire you’ll be able to retreat totally unnoticed.” Miles raised his voice. “Come!”

It was indeed Count Vorkosigan. He pinned his son with eyes cold and grey as a glacier on a sunless day, and began without preamble, “Miles, what did you do to make that girl cr—” He broke off as his gaze passed over Ivan, standing at attention like a man stuffed. Count Vorkosigan’s voice returned to a more normal growl. “Oh, hell. I was hoping to avoid tripping over you tonight. Figured you’d be getting safely drunk in a corner on my wine—”

Ivan saluted nervously. “Sir. Uncle Aral. Did, um, did my mother speak with you, sir?”

“Yes,” Count Vorkosigan sighed. Ivan paled. Miles realized Ivan did not see the amusement in the hooded set of his father’s eyelids.

Miles ran a finger pensively around the lip of the empty wine bottle. “Ivan has been commiserating me upon my injuries, sir.” Ivan nodded confirmation.

“I see,” said Count Vorkosigan dryly—and Miles felt he really did. The coldness sublimated altogether. Count Vorkosigan sighed again, and addressed Ivan in a tone of gentle, rhetorical complaint. “Going on fifty years of military and political service, and what am I? A boogeyman, used to frighten boys into good behavior—like the Baba Yaga, who only eats the bad little children.” He spread his arms, and added sardonically, “Boo. Consider yourself chastized, and take yourself off. Go, boy.”

“Yes, sir.” Ivan saluted again, looking decidedly relieved.

“And stop saluting me,” Count Vorkosigan added more sharply. “You’re not an officer yet.” He seemed to notice Ivan’s uniform for the first time. “As a matter of fact—”

“Yes, sir. No, sir.” Ivan began to salute again, stopped himself, looked confused, and fled. Count Vorkosigan’s lips twitched.

And I never thought I’d be grateful to Ivan, Miles mused. “You were saying, sir?” he prompted.

It took Count Vorkosigan a moment to collect his thoughts after the diversion provided by his young relative. He opened again, more quietly. “Why was Elena crying, son? You weren’t, ah, harassing her, were you?”

“No, sir. I know what it looked like, but it wasn’t. I’ll give you my word, if you like.”

“Not necessary.” Count Vorkosigan pulled up a chair. “I trust you were not emulating that idiot Ivan. But, ah—your mother’s Betan sexual philosophy has its place—on Beta Colony. Perhaps here too, someday. But I should like to emphasize that Elena Bothari is not a suitable test case.”

“Why not?” said Miles suddenly. Count Vorkosigan raised his eyebrows. “I mean,” Miles explained quickly, “why should she be so—so constrained. She gets duenna d to death. She could be anything. She’s bright, and she’s, she’s good-looking, and she could break me in half— why shouldn’t she get a better education, for instance? The Sergeant isn’t planning any higher education for her at all. Everything he’s saved is for dowry. And he never lets her go anyplace. She’d get more out of travel— hell, she’d appreciate it a thousand times more than any other girl I know.” He paused, a little breathless.

Count Vorkosigan pursed his lips, and ran his hand thoughtfully across the chair back. “This is all very true. But Elena—means enormously more to the Sergeant than I think you are aware. She is a symbol to him, of everything he imagines... I’m not sure how to put this. She is an important source of order in his life. I owe it to him to protect that order.”

“Yes, yes, right and proper, I know,” said Miles impatiently. “But you can’t owe everything to him and nothing to her!”

Count Vorkosigan looked disturbed, and began again. “I owe him my life, Miles. And your mother’s. In a very real sense, everything I’ve been and done for Barrayar in the last eighteen years is owed to him. And I owe him your life, twice over, since then, and so my sanity— what there is of it, as your mother would say. If he chooses to call in that debt, there’s no bottom to it.” He rubbed his lips introspectively. “Also—it won’t hurt to emphasize this anyway—I’d much prefer to avoid any kind of scandal in my household at the moment. My adversaries are always groping for a handle on me, some lever to move me. I beg you will not let yourself become one.”

And what the hell is going on in the government this week? Miles wondered anew. Not that anybody’s likely to tell me. Lord Miles Naismith Vorkosigan. Occupation: security risk. Hobbies: falling off walls, disappointing sick old men to death, making girls cry... He longed to patch things up with Elena, at least. But the only thing he could think of that might put her imagination-generated terrors to rest would be actually finding that blasted grave, and as near as he could figure, it had to be on Escobar, mixed in with those of the six or seven thousand war dead left behind so long ago.

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