The Way of Escape (21 page)

“That’s not necessary,” I argued. “If I’m still myself after you change me and my hormones or whatever calm down like you say they will, what I do or don’t feel won’t matter because you still won’t be a Christian.”

“I understand, but while your beliefs are unwavering, mine aren’t so steadfast,” he reminded me. “You have given me a lot to ponder these past several days. If you are still the same woman that you are now and you don’t surrender to the darkness as many vampires have, I will have to reevaluate some of my beliefs and look more intently into yours.”

While Augustus exploring Christianity because of my impending vampirism was great for
his
sake, that still wasn’t enough for me to let our current relationship become more than platonic. After all, there was no guarantee that he would actually become a Christian. Plus, as he had pointed out before and as I’d experienced many times, a lot of people professed a belief in God and Christ, but they didn’t let that belief be the driving force in their lives. As difficult as it was for someone in their twenties to change their ways after becoming a Christian, I could only imagine how long it would take a vampire his age to turn from his sinful patterns and develop a healthy walk with Christ. Even though I believed that God could change someone’s heart in an instant thanks to the reading I’d done about the Paul’s conversion, I didn’t know how fast or thorough Augustus’ spiritual transformation might be … or if it would happen at all.

Maybe I should’ve said no to grabbing a drink.

“That all depends on me still being myself after I become a vampire and you doing a lot more than just changing your mind about what you believe in. Those are two colossal bridges that need to be crossed and we haven’t even reached them yet.”

“Yes, but my goal is for you not to doubt your desires when and if you realize that they are worth pursuing,” he clarified.

“How so?”

“How do you think?”

Augustus punctuated his rhetorical question with a kiss. For a moment, I was too shocked to react to his surprising gesture, but when I came to my senses, I still wasn’t completely ready to end the embrace. Despite the many reasons I had
not
to kiss Augustus, I let my guard down and gave in to my desire for the comfort and affection that I’d been deprived of the past several days.

When I didn’t push him away, Augustus pulled me into his arms and deepened the kiss, which I returned with fondness that had been nonexistent during our first one. Through that kiss, I expressed my unanticipated admiration for the tenderness and protectiveness he’d shown me as well as his desire to help defenseless men and women he had no reason to care about. I also let myself indulge in his full soft lips, clean masculine scent, and silky auburn hair, which was as soft as I’d imagined.

Our second kiss was more refreshing than walking outside, feeling the sun on my face, and breathing in fresh air after ten arduous hours in a stuffy office building. A comforting warmth spread through every inch of my body and left me feeling rejuvenated, at ease, and safe. Past embraces usually felt like a passionate, frantic race to the finish line, but this one felt more like a slow, scenic, circular stroll with no clear destination in mind. I’d
never
had a kiss like that before.

The embrace ended without either of us pushing to take things further or letting our hands and lips wander, but my racing pulse thundered in my ears when I finally laid eyes on Augustus again. While I had enjoyed the kiss and would have been quite content staying in that spot with his lips on mine for the rest of the night, I knew that would have been a catastrophically bad idea … just like letting him kiss me to begin with. Just because something felt good didn’t mean that it wasn’t dangerous, and letting myself indulge in Augustus’ charms instead of seeking solace and comfort from God was
definitely
perilous.

Kissing the fiery-haired vampire before I knew much of anything about him had been one thing. However, sharing that embrace after a few very intense, emotional days and nights forced me to face so much more than simple physical attraction. If it weren’t for the little sense and self-control I had and his unexpected respect for my convictions, I would have been in a lot of trouble. Instead, I was just in a little trouble … and I still needed to avoid that trouble no matter how small it seemed. I needed to run away from the temptation I was facing and toward God instead of staying by his side as I had been. I couldn’t just continue the night like nothing had happened and keep flirting with a line that I didn’t want to cross.

“I need some time alone,” I said, cringing inwardly at how my voice trembled, “and I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight. I never should have slept with you to begin with, but better late than never.”

“If you insist.”

When I started to walk away, he delayed my departure by taking my hand in his.

“Will you be up to continuing our act tomorrow?”

“It’s not really an act at this point, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

Augustus smiled and brought my quaking hand to his lips for a kiss before placing the key to my room in it.

“Good night, Clara.”

I gave the vampire a quick smile and went straight to my room. Walking the halls without Augustus by my side felt strange, but I welcomed the solitude. I needed to put some serious distance between us. Once I was behind closed doors, I reclined on the bed and stared at the ceiling as I thought over the last few days.

Much like Elizabeth Bennett’s sometimes disagreeable love interest from
Pride and Prejudice,
I found myself harboring feelings for someone against my better judgment. However, unlike Mr. Darcy, my reasons weren’t worth overlooking. In less than twenty-four hours, I would be forever bound to a man who I had feelings for and that supernatural connection along with my new thirst for blood were going to test my self-control more than any happy hour with my girlfriends or late night movie with a cute guy ever had.

I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle this,
I thought as I watched the ceiling fan’s wooden blades lazily rotate above me.
Even if I’m not, I can’t afford
not
to take this on. The men and women here need me.

Even as the words came into my mind, I knew that I was wrong. They didn’t need me, they needed
God
… and I did too. Whenever I tried to do things on my own, I became so emotionally exhausted and taxed that I questioned why I ever stepped outside of my comfort zone to begin with. When I stopped trying to do it all by myself and turned to God for strength and guidance, my troubles seemed more manageable even if they were still difficult.

The five nights I’d spent on Emmanuel’s island had been some of the most challenging ones of my life, yet I had barely looked to God during that time. Despite all of my praying, I’d only cracked open Augustus’ ebook version of the Bible a few times even though it was right in front of me. I’d spent most of the week having one-sided conversations with the only one who could help me. I needed to shut up and let God do the talking for once.

Time to fix that.

I sat up and walked over to the desk where I’d left the vampire’s ebook reader charging. After sitting down, I immediately turned on the device and opened the Bible. Part of me felt guilty for even attempting to read God’s word while a head-spinning kiss from an agnostic vampire clouded my mind, but I shook that guilt from my mind. No matter what I had done that night, coming to God for clarity and refreshment was the exact right thing to do. If my remorse was driving me away from God instead of toward him, it wasn’t worth entertaining.

As I tried to shake off my shame, I remembered Leah of all people telling me that in case of an emergency, turn to 9-1-1 … also known as Psalm 91:1. While I wasn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown or gleefully running full speed ahead into temptation, I took my troubled friend’s sage advice.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say
to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place —
the Most High, who is my refuge —

no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.

On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.

When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.

With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91)

Thank you, Leah,
I thought, praying for my friend as I reached the end of the chapter. The psalm had been a timely reminder that I needed to hold fast to God and seek refuge in him. He could deliver me from any situation whether it was physically or emotionally daunting.

The verse about not fearing the “terror of night” was especially poignant since terrifying nocturnal creatures surrounded me and I was about to become one. I needed to trust God enough not only to protect me from the vampires in my midst but also from my own dark urges. Between my physical attraction to Augustus, my impending supernatural bondage to him, and my future thirst for blood, I definitely had my fair share to contend with.

But I can face them if I don’t try to deal with them by my own strength.

With my renewed resolve, I decided to turn to 2 Samuel. While I wasn’t sure if Psalm 91 had been written by King David like many of the ones I’d come to love, I felt led to read about the Old Testament king who had been near and dear to God’s heart despite committing some egregious sins. If someone who slept with another man’s wife and had that man killed could still be enviously close to God and be considered a man of great faith, surely I could do the same despite my own current and future mistakes. After all, if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I was going to make plenty of them whether I had fangs or not.

♦              ♦              ♦

As I finished reading 2 Samuel, I heard the shower running and realized how long I’d been glued to the glowing paper white screen. I glanced at the tiny clock in the top right corner and saw that it was six thirty … which meant that it was almost sunrise. While I’d never been a wake with the sun kind of girl, that sunrise would be the last one I’d ever get to watch without fear of getting a nasty fatal sunburn, so I decided to venture outside and watch the sun come up.

I crept up to the terrace where I’d hung out with Augustus two nights before, sat down on one of the loungers, and put my feet up as I watched the sky lighten in the east. The deep sapphire late night sky gave way to a lighter cornflower blue while the clouds blazed from a drab gray hue to rosy pink and radiant gold. Little by little, the sun climbed over the horizon and chased away the darkness that I would soon dwell in with golden white rays that peeked out over the water and glanced off the sea’s calm surface.

A grin spread across my lips and my heart warmed as I enjoyed one of life’s most simple yet beautiful sights for the last time and a verse from that night’s reading came to mind.

For you are my lamp, O Lord,

and my God lightens my darkness. (2 Samuel 22:29)

When the sun was finally in full view, I rose from the lounger, stretched my languid limbs, and went back inside to enjoy my last human slumber.

While I’d soon call the night my home, there was still one source of radiance in my life that no one could ever take away. God had already brought light to the darkest parts of my soul, and I had no doubt that he would give me the strength to endure the coming nights. He would make my paths straight and guide me if I trusted in and leaned on him no matter how long and hard the road ahead was.

♦              ♦              ♦

CHAPTER 6

The sound of someone knocking roused me from my peaceful sleep. When I rolled out of bed and opened the door expecting to see Augustus and found the darkened bathroom instead, I realized that my visitor was knocking on a different door. Thankfully, I found Amber, a slave I’d recently met, waiting for me when I answered the correct one.

“Hi, Clara. Emmanuel sent me to deliver your breakfast and to help you get ready for the party today. Is now a good time?”

“It’s kind of early, isn’t it?”

“It’s almost one o’clock,” she pointed out. “The party starts at two o’clock.”

I glanced over at the nearby clock and saw that Amber was indeed right about the time.

I only have a few hours left as a human. At three o’clock, I’ll drink Augustus’ blood and have the most transformative nap of my life,
I realized.

“Do you need to shower? I can help someone else get ready and come back later.”

“No, I showered last night. I just need to wash my face, but you can come in.”

Amber stepped in and as I eyed the long, mahogany fishtail braid that trailed down her back and cart of hair and beauty products, I wondered if she’d been a hairdresser or makeup artist before her abduction. If not, would she retain whatever skills she’d been taught when she returned home since the vampires’ compulsion would wipe her memory?

So many questions. So little time.

After I freshened up and threw on a robe, I sat down in Amber’s makeshift work area and ate the fruit-topped waffle she’d brought with her as she finished setting up. I wolfed down my breakfast in record time, so she didn’t have to wait too long to start working on my curly mane. Despite the lack of black vampires on the island, Amber had no problem working with my natural hair. Once I saw how skilled she was, I relaxed and decided to strike up a conversation.

“Did you do this for a living before you were kidnapped?”

“Yeah, I did hair and makeup for events and a few local TV shows,” she answered. “What about you?”

“Just boring office stuff that involved a lot of spreadsheets and emails.”

“I guess that’ll have to change when you get out of here since you won’t be able to go out in the sun.”

“Yeah, it will.”

“Any ideas about what you’ll do?”

“No, but Augustus said he could help me find a job.”

“That’s decent of him. I thought all vampires were jerks until he showed up,” Amber said as she straightened a lock of my hair. “He was using my friend Melody for blood up until the other day, and he never hurt or humiliated her when he did. He even talked to her like she was a real person. That’s more than I can say for the rest of the coven.”

“Yeah, he’s been pretty nice compared to the others.”

“Are you two a thing for real or are you just teaming up to screw Emmanuel over?”

“No, we’re just working together.”

“Why not? I’m not a fan of vampires, but you’re going to be one and he’s the closest thing to a nice bloodsucker I’ve ever seen. Plus, he’s pretty hot for a ginger.”

I shook my head with a chuckle.

“It takes a lot more than being nice and hot for someone to win me over. I don’t get involved with men who aren’t Christians.”

“Why not?”

“Because what I believe drives everything I do. It’s the reason I am the person I am today. If someone doesn’t share my faith, he’ll never fully understand me and we’ll be living our lives based on completely different motives.”

Even as I said the words, I felt as if I was reminding myself of my convictions just as much as I was trying to explain them to Amber.

“Maybe you’ll feel differently after you’re changed.”

“I hope not. I decided to go through with Augustus’ plan because I believe that I’ll still be saved and able to live some new version of a Christian life as a vampire.”

“For your sake, I hope you’re right. I gave up on God years ago.”

“Why?”

“If he was good, he would’ve gotten me out of this hell hole and wouldn’t have left me here to do hair and makeup for people who rip my throat and clothes open whenever the mood strikes them to begin with.”

“Then what does it mean to you that you may be going home today? I know you’ve gone through a lot here, but he’s giving you your freedom now.”

Amber stopped working briefly before continuing her craft with her brow furrowed slightly.

“I don’t know … Even if he’s finally answering my prayers, it’s not like I’ll remember any of this when I get home anyway.”

“No, you won’t, but God is bigger than some vampire’s compulsion.”

“Maybe.”

“So were you a Christian before all of this?”

“Well, I went to church with my family a few times a year and did the whole Sunday school thing as a kid. I liked the music and some of what I read in the Bible, but I was never really sold on the idea of there being an all-powerful god.”

I nodded as much as I could while she styled my straightened hair.

“Where did you grow up,” I asked.

“I was born in Florida, but I moved to L.A. as soon as I could after high school.”

“Is that where you were kidnapped?”

The stylist’s movements became a little more sharp and aggressive and her face and neck reddened slightly as she recalled her kidnapping.

“No, I went to the Dominican Republic for a music video shoot. I met Grayson at a bar after we wrapped up and we went for a walk. One minute we were making out on the beach, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in one of those gross holding cells in the basement with blood all over me,” she explained. “Apparently, the last slave in my position accidentally cut off too much of Marie’s hair when she giving her a trim. Marie scalped her and killed her when she got sick of the screaming.”

My mouth parched at the sound of her predecessor’s demise, so I took a sip of my juice before replying.

“Grayson and Marie aren’t my favorite people either,” I revealed. “When I talked Emmanuel into letting my friend go, Grayson demanded payment in the form of my blood.”

“Of course he did,” she said. “What about Marie? What did she do aside from being her usual nasty self?”

“She bought my friend Connor, and she’s been abusing him because he won’t give in to her.”

“They’re all a bunch of bloodthirsty whack jobs. I can’t wait to see them burn today.”

“Hopefully you won’t be here long enough to see that.”

“Hopefully.”

For the next hour, Amber worked her magic on my hair and makeup as we talked about our lives before and since our introduction to the world of vampires. She’d had a pretty normal childhood with two loving parents and had been briefly engaged to a fashion photographer before he ended their relationship to move overseas. Her broken heart had made her more susceptible than usual to Grayson’s illusion of charm during her trip to the Dominican Republic, but I reminded her that she wasn’t to blame for her current situation. Grayson would have snatched her up for his fellow bloodsuckers whether she’d been rebounding or not. My abduction was proof of that.

Since that fateful night, the coven had killed two of Amber’s close friends on the island and one woman had hung herself. Amber had hardened her heart to protect herself from the fear and hopelessness that many other slaves had fallen prey to and hadn’t formed any other close friendships with her brothers and sisters in bondage. The fact that Grayson occasionally sought her out to satiate his two equally violent lusts also contributed to her emotional shut down.

My heart ached for Amber as she recounted her suffering … not just because of what she had endured but also because she spoke about it with such indifference. I knew from experience that numbing your pain whether psychologically or chemically only postponed the emotional fallout of your torment, and I prayed that God would help her heal from her wounds when she returned to the human world whether she remembered them or not.

When Amber finished my hair and makeup, she went on her way to help the remaining vampires get ready for the party. After I pulled on my dress and slipped on the black heels and diamond earrings that someone had dropped off outside my door, I finally caught a glimpse of my uncharacteristically sophisticated appearance. Amber had styled my straightened hair in a soft, refined up do that made my usually unnoticeable cheekbones come out of hiding. The light contouring she’d done with a combination of bronzers and highlighters softly accented my bone structure as well. She’d also given me a subtle smoky eye with shades of black and brown and paired that smoldering look with pink, glossy lips.

While being forced to play dress up for an afternoon of rubbing elbows with a coven of wretched, sadistic vampires wasn’t exactly something to get excited about, I was happy to see that I would at least look good doing it. I hadn’t worn a stitch of makeup since before I left for Haiti and I hadn’t done much of anything to my hair either, so seeing myself coiffed, plucked, and rouged into submission was a strange yet pleasant change.

Maybe I should switch things up more often when I get home,
I mused.
It can’t hurt to wear something other than concealer, blush, and lip balm every day.

Another knock sounded and I turned away from the mirror, slightly embarrassed that I’d spent so long admiring Amber’s handiwork. As expected, my escort for the evening was the one who quietly rapped on my door. Augustus had swapped the sophisticated suits he’d worn the past few days for a perfectly tailored classic tuxedo and he’d pulled his long locks back into a low ponytail. Seeing him dressed so formally reminded me of my first night on the island, and I marveled at how I’d gone from fearing the red haired vampire to trusting and even liking him despite my initial reservations.

A lot can change in a week.

“You look absolutely breathtaking.”

I smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment. Remembering our earlier conversation about me not being able to take a compliment, I bit back my knee-jerk dismissive response. Besides, it was hard to argue with his flattering remark when he said it with such conviction and beamed with approval.

“Thanks. You look really nice too.”

“The party has already begun downstairs. Are you ready to join the others?”

“Sure.”

Augustus extended his hand and I laced my fingers through his without hesitation. Even before we reached the first floor, I could hear the live music and boisterous laughter bubbling from the ballroom. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve felt nervous about walking into a fancy party. I would’ve questioned if I looked nice enough, if I belonged, and if I knew enough current events to make memorable small talk with people. Thankfully, those anxieties were notably absent.

While I did feel nervous that autumn afternoon, my anxiety was the result of a different kind of fear. After nearly a week in the company of vampires, I still didn’t know what I would be walking into. Would they be fang-deep in their slaves’ necks or spinning around the dance floor? Was I in for an hour of watching them trade barbs and belittle the humans or relative peace and mild discomfort?

The moment Augustus and I joined the party, I made a quick sweep of the room and relaxed slightly when I saw that no one had ripped into anyone’s necks yet and that no one was paying any attention to us. Instead, the vampires and their slaves were enjoying various non-bloody beverages as a string quartet filled the air with music. A few master-slave pairings and vampire couples were dancing, but the rest were just drinking and conversing. I also noticed that Marie hadn’t trotted Connor out again, which meant that he was still wallowing in his cell downstairs.

“It looks like we have two options,” Augustus whispered. “We can either avoid having forced conversations with the others by dancing or brave the offensive, tactless subjects they’ll no doubt want to discuss.”

“So what you’re saying is that we really have
one
option.”

My joke earned a grin from Augustus that I immediately returned just as a new song began.

“Do you know how to waltz,” he asked.

“No.”

“Then follow my lead and I’ll make you look like an expert.”

Once Augustus led me onto the dance floor, I placed my left hand on his shoulder as he held my right, and he began to spin me around the room. As expected, I didn’t feel the same body-tensing apprehension and revulsion that I’d experienced with Emmanuel. I was comfortable enough to relax in his arms, trust his leading, and enjoy the dance. Peals of unexpected laughter even bubbled from my lips when he deftly dipped me without warning halfway through the song and pulled me back up just as swiftly.

If everything was like dancing, life would be a lot less complicated,
I thought.
If all I had to worry about was missing a step or running into other dancers, I wouldn’t have to fight my feelings for Augustus. Unfortunately, the kind of stumbling he could cause is a lot worse than tripping over my own feet, and waking up with the sire bond tonight might cause some serious staggering.

“Either dancing requires a lot of concentration for you, or you’re worried about the day ahead,” Augustus commented while we moved across the floor.