Authors: Danielle Steel
I love it. ' I don't deserve this. I love you so much.
Do you like it?
I really do. It was perfect, and he slipped it on her finger. It was the right fit too, and she was beaming. She couldn't take her eyes off it, and it looked impressive on her hand, but because it was an old design, despite its size it didn't seem flashy. It was very distinguished.
They sat and talked for hours that night, about their families, their lives, their plans, and the upcoming wedding. The time seemed to be flying past them. It was already the first of May, and the wedding was only four months away now. Allegra still had a thousand things to do, and her mother kept calling her and nagging her about them. She wanted her to hire a wedding consultant to take care of the details, and Allegra thought that was ridiculous, but the fact was that neither she nor her mother had time to organize a wedding. Her mother was busier than ever with the show, and Allegra never seemed to get a moment's breather from her clients.
They went to bed early that night. Jeff wanted to be at the studio at four A.M., to see that everyone arrived, and make sure that every last detail had been taken care of. She reminded him that Tony and the director would be there too, and the responsibility was not all on his shoulders, but it was his book, and his first movie, and he wanted to be there in case there were any problems.
Who's being compulsive now? she teased, flashing her ring at him. She couldn't stop staring at it. And she didn't even take it off when they went to bed, incredibly early, since he had to be up by two-thirty.
They were asleep by ten o'clock, and Allegra was completely confused when the phone rang at midnight. She had been deep in sleep by then, and it took her a moment to realize that someone was speaking to her in a foreign language.
Mademoiselle Steinberg, on vous appelle de la Suisse, de la part de Madame Alain Carr. She had no idea what they were saying, except that she recognized Alan's name at the end of it. She wondered if he was calling collect or something.
I accept! she shouted into the phone, and Jeff woke up with a start, and then lay back in bed beside her. Hello! Hello! They were losing the connection. Finally, they came back on the line. There was a lot of static, and then, suddenly, she heard Carmen's voice, not Alan's.
Carmen? What is it? What's going on? They were nine hours ahead, so for her it was nine o'clock in the morning. But she figured that something must really be wrong for Carmen to call her at midnight. For an instant, there was a tingle down Allegra's spine, wondering if Alan had had an accident while making his movie. And all she could hear at the other end now was Carmen crying. Come on, dammit. Allegra was losing her patience with her. They had scared her half to death waking her up and now she wanted to know the story. Jeff was wide awake too, he had turned on the light and was listening. Carmen, what happened?
There was a long, thin wail at the other end of the phone. I'm in the hospital' .
Oh, no. Why?
I lost the baby. She burst into tears again, and it was half an hour later before Allegra could calm her down. By then she had moved into the other room so Jeff could go back to sleep, but he was wide awake and couldn't.
Apparently, she hadn't had a fall, nothing dramatic had happened, she had just had a miscarriage. But she'd been on the set with Alan, and she had hemorrhaged pretty badly. They had had to call an ambulance, and she said Alan was terribly upset too. And then Carmen said she didn't want to come home without him, which struck fear in Allegra's heart. They both had contracts.
Now listen, Carmen, Allegra said, trying to stay calm, I know this is terrible. But you'll get pregnant again. And Alan has to finish that movie. If you talk him into coming home with you, they'll never hire him again. So don't you forget that, and you have to be home on the fifteenth for rehearsals.
I know, but I'm so miserable. And I don't want to leave him. She cried until one A.M., and Allegra finally got her off the phone, thinking of the ironies of life. Here, she wanted her baby so desperately, and lost it. And Sam's was ruining her life, and hanging in there. Maybe she should have given it to Carmen, she thought, being somewhat flip, as she went back to bed, and saw that Jeff was still awake, and he did not look happy.
Carmen lost her baby, she said apologetically, slipping into bed beside him.
I figured out that much, but I'm about to lose my mind. I cannot live in this emergency room atmosphere of midnight phone calls every night, suicides, drug busts, miscarriages, overdoses, divorces, concert tours for chrissake, Allie, what are you? An attorney or a psychiatric attendant?
That's a good question. Look, I know, I'm sorry. She probably miscalculated the time difference.
Bullshit. She doesn't care. They all do it. They call you at any hour of the day or night. I need my sleep. I have a movie to make. I have a job too, Allegra. You have to tell your clients to stop calling.
I know, I know' . I'm sorry. ' I swear it won't happen anymore.
You're a liar, he said, pulling her close to him again and feeling her naked body against his just the way he liked it. You're going to make me an old man if you don't knock this stuff off.
I'll tell them. I promise. But they both knew she'd never do it. It was just the way she was, there for them all the time, whatever their problems.
And two hours later, he left for work, sleepy, and more than a little grouchy. She made him coffee before he left, and went back to bed and called Carmen at the number she'd given her. Alan answered the phone then. He was on a break, and obviously very upset about Carmen and the baby.
I'm sorry, kid, she told him, and he thanked her, and then he walked the phone into the bathroom and told Allegra that Carmen was in terrible shape. She was deeply depressed about the baby.
You have to take care of her when she comes home, he pleaded with Allegra.
I will. I swear. But you stay where you are, and finish your movie.
I know, he said, sounding harassed. I told her all that, but she wants me to go with her.
I'll kill you if you do that. You can't.
I know that. Just promise me you'll take care of her when she gets back there day after tomorrow.
I will. Don't worry about a thing, Allegra reassured him, and hung up, thinking about how complicated life was sometimes for all of them. Carmen, Alan, Bram, Jeff, herself. None of them had chosen easy careers. And yet, for different reasons, each of them liked what they were doing. She was particularly aware of that late that night, as she sat, freezing, backstage at the Oakland Coliseum. Bram had sent his own plane for her, and she'd gone up to see him open. The huge arena was entirely sold out, and the crowd went wild when they saw Bram, and they cheered endlessly when he introduced the new drummer. They did a memorial song, and had a moment of silence for the man who had died. And at the end of the show, twenty thousand fans gave them a standing ovation. Allegra had never seen anything like it, not even at one of Bram's other concerts. And the security had their hands full peeling fans off him. In the end, they played seven encores, and Bram was soaked with sweat when he finally came offstage and hugged Allegra.
You were incredible! she shouted in the din, and he grinned and nodded his thanks as he put an arm around his wife and kissed her. The crowd was still shouting for him and refusing to leave the arena.
Thanks for saving us, Bram shouted back at her, and she smiled. They had all saved his concert tour together. This was what she got paid for.
There was a party afterward for him, but Allegra had to get back to L.A. She walked into the house in Malibu at 3 A.M., just in time to make Jeff coffee. She handed it to him just as his alarm clock went off, and he looked up at her sleepily and smiled.
Great wake-up service. How was it?
Fantastic. She leaned over and kissed him. He's never been better. He was really ready for this tour. I'm glad he pulled it off, she said, as she lay down on the bed next to Jeff, beyond exhausted.
I'll bet he's glad too. Jeff smiled at her, admiring how beautiful she was, even when she was tired.
How'd it go yesterday? she asked, battling a yawn, inquiring about his movie.
Scary, but fun, Jeff admitted. It feels incredible being out there, making my first movie. Thank God, Tony knows what he's doing. I sure as hell don't. He grinned. Tony had been doing this for ten years, since grad school, and had won four awards for short features, and considerable acclaim for two long ones. Come out and see us if you can take a minute or two off. Though God only knows when you'll do that. He hadn't even seen her in the last twenty-four hours, and she only had time for a short nap before she had to pick Carmen up at the airport.
But even Allegra wasn't prepared for the state Carmen was in when Allegra saw her at the airport. She was completely depressed over losing the baby. She was sure she'd never get pregnant again, and she was practically suicidal without Alan. It took every ounce of Allegra's concentration and energy to get her home and convince her that she had to go to rehearsals. For the next week, all Allegra seemed to do was baby-sit Carmen. She hardly even had time to visit Jeff on the set, although she managed it for a few minutes at least daily. And the movie seemed to be going well. Better than Carmen's rehearsals later that week. But at least by then, Bram Morrison was on the road with his concert tour, and so far it was a huge success, and so was the new drummer. Allegra was beginning to feel as though she were carrying all of them around. And Jeff was constantly on edge during the first week of his movie. She visited him on the set several times, and it seemed to be going well, but she hardly had any time to stick around and watch it. On the first weekend after shooting began, Jeff had to rework parts of the script, because two of the actors were uncomfortable with the dialogue. He met with Tony night and day. And Allegra hardly saw him.
Fortunately, Jeff had had to put off visiting his mother himself this time, and the best they could do was promise to go back East shortly. Now Mrs. Hamilton had to take a backseat to his movie, which did not please her.
And by the time Carmen started shooting on the first of June, Allegra was so busy and overwrought, she felt as though she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Carmen was calling her every five minutes to complain about something, the rest of the time she cried, and she swore she'd never work again without Alan in the film with her. She was being completely unreasonable. Allegra lost five pounds in the first week of Carmen's movie. She was getting messages from Bram on tour too, and whenever the group ran into problems somewhere it was up to Allegra to solve them. She felt as though she never saw Jeff anymore. They were never in the house at the same time, unless one of them was sleeping.
Sam was seven months' pregnant by then, but she seemed in slightly better spirits than she had been. And she was working closely with Suzanne Pearlman. And whenever Allegra dropped by to see Sam these days, she noticed that Jimmy Mazzoleri was there too, just hanging around or helping her do homework. She had finally admitted to him that she was pregnant, and he had been surprisingly supportive about it. They didn't have a romance going, but he seemed to be very devoted to Sam. She was wearing maternity clothes now, and the baby had suddenly popped out. And sometimes Jimmy thought it was funny to put his hand on her stomach and feel it kick, but most of the time he just took her for rides to the beach, or to get something to eat, or he helped her do homework. He felt really sorry for her, and he thought she didn't deserve the bad luck that she'd had getting pregnant. She talked to him sometimes about the people who were considering adopting it. She was leaning heavily toward a couple in Santa Barbara. They were in their late thirties and they said they loved kids. And the wife reminded Sam a little of Allegra. She was also an attorney. And he was a doctor. Their qualifications were excellent, and they seemed to have a fair amount of money. Sam didn't want her baby having to struggle, or doing without anything, or not getting a good education. In fact, they said they wanted to adopt more children after they adopted this one. Their names were Katherine and John Whitman.
And in the midst of everything else, Blaire kept reminding Allegra to do something about the wedding. Allegra had ordered the invitations at Carrier, and she had tried on wedding dresses at Saks, I. Magnin, and Neiman's, and none of them had struck her fancy. But the greatest shock of all came when her mother told her she had hired Delilah Williams.
Who in God's name is that? Allegra smiled at the name, wondering what her mother was up to.
She came highly recommended. She's a wedding consultant, and she's going to do everything for us, for the wedding. I told her to call you at the office.
I can't believe this, Allegra said to Jeff that night, with a look of amusement. But she was in no way prepared for the woman who came to see her in her office three days later. She came armed with albums and photographs, lists and files, and she never seemed to stop talking. She stood well over six feet tall, and when Allegra tried to describe her to Jeff, all she could say was that she looked like a transvestite. She had been wearing a lavender dress with a matching hat, amethysts everywhere, she had dyed blond hair, and her arms were so long that she looked like a large bird ready to take flight off the couch in Allegra's office. Her own office was somewhere in the valley.
Now, let's reiterate, dear, she said, patting Allegra's hand as Allegra stared at her in total disbelief. She couldn't even begin to imagine her mother hiring this woman. She must have been desperate. You have to pick your bridesmaids, finalize the dress for them and for yourself, of course ' shoes don't forget shoes ' We have to talk about the cake ' the flowers ' I told your mother we're going to need a tent in the garden ' menu ' the band we can't forget the band ' photography ' video ' long veil or short ' She went on ad infinitum while Allegra listened in total horror. The words Las Vegas kept ringing in her head, and she couldn't imagine why she and Jeff had decided on a wedding at home with everyone imaginable in attendance.