The Wedding Secret (14 page)

“I want to go to your apartment. Where is it exactly?”

“On Riverside.”

She offered the ice cream.

“Thanks.” Kevin took the pint and the spoon and shoveled out a healthy bite. “It’s not huge, but I like it.”

“Honey, it’s on Riverside. That’s not bad, and trust me—huge is overrated.” She took the container back and swept a glob of ice cream onto her index finger. “I want to snoop around your place.”

“Why? Have something special you want to look for?”

“Nothing in particular, but you can tell a lot about a man by looking in his closets and drawers.”

“What could you tell?” Her logic was impeccable, but he didn’t know that she’d find his place very interesting. In fact, it was pretty sparse. He’d jumped right into playing in July when he’d come back, and he was still unpacking four months later.

“I dunno. Stuff.”

“So you’d be rifling through my underwear?”

“If necessary. I prefer touching your underwear when you’re in it, but I can be flexible.”

He froze for a second before using his thumb to wipe a smudge off the corner of her mouth. Then he nodded. “I could get behind that plan.”

“I would like to know more about you, though.” Her eyes were soft and hard to read. She was asking something, but he wasn’t sure what. “I mean, I want to know what makes you tick. What do you like? Who are you, Kevin?”

“I’m just me, Harper. Just me. A big, dumb jock.” He pulled her close and fed her a spoonful of ice cream before kissing her softly. Her cold lips and the sweetness lingering from the ice cream made her damn near irresistible. Who was he kidding? He wanted her no matter what.

She grinned. “You are no dumb jock, Mr. Summa Cum Laude From Stanford. I think there’s way more to you than meets the eye.” He couldn’t look at her because it was times like this he felt like a total fraud. He had the education, the pedigree, but he’d spent the last thirteen years muscling up and swinging a bat. Harper was a mass of kinetic energy, physically and mentally, and Kevin didn’t know if he could be who she needed. “What I really want to know about is your family. I mean, I know your sisters and your mom, but I want to know about you. About where you fit in.” She took his face in her hands, suddenly very serious. “And I want to know about your dad.”

He took the container from her and set it on the counter, while deciding whether or not to answer the question. Keeping her guessing about him had been fun, but now she’d posed a real question and she was genuinely interested. He didn’t want to talk about Caroline and Meg, but his father—had he talked to anyone about his dad?

Sad as it was, he really hadn’t. His father was never far from his mind, but no one really knew how Kevin felt. No one took the time.

“Where did you live when you were little?” she asked.

“We lived in an apartment in Gramercy until I was around ten. Maybe I was a little less than ten.” He kept hold of her hand. “My dad was a Wall Street casualty. He was successful and respected, but not quite successful enough, and he was caught in a downsizing.” Sliding his hands around her ass, he grinned. “We moved to the estate and the rest, as they say is history.”

“Anything else?” She wanted to know more? What could he tell her?

“He was a character. Meg is the most like him in that way. The two of them could move mountains with the sheer force of their personalities. But when my father would talk, about anything, music, politics, literature, you’d be caught. He’d get you and he wouldn’t let go. Mom always said he’d be a great teacher.”

“It sounds like I would have liked him.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and Kevin felt his muscles relax. “You would have liked him, but he would have
loved
you. Even with everything that’s gone on, my dad would have thought the world of you.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you don’t settle, Harper. You aren’t content to let the world decide things for you. You take responsibility for your mistakes. You own your life. That’s powerful stuff. My dad owned his decisions. Every one.”

“Oh, um. Wow. Thank you. I think.”

“It was a compliment. I couldn’t give you anything bigger than that.” He wanted to tell her he was falling in love with her, but he didn’t know how that would go and he didn’t want to scare her away. The girl may have owned all her decisions, but Kevin didn’t want one of those decisions to be to run from him.

Leaning in, her lips teased his, grazing back-and-forth in a gentle motion. Okay, so she wasn’t running.

His hands had settled on her hips and he was easing them up under the shirt. Her bare skin was warm and soft. “I guess I’m the one who’s surprised, then.”

Harper tilted her head. “How?”

“I know you have nerves of steel in your personal life, but it’s become pretty obvious you’re not afraid of anything in bed, either, are you?” They’d done a little experimenting with a couple of silk scarves. “I don’t remember you being this adventurous before.”

She laughed and kissed some ice cream off his mouth and smiled. “Not really, and since I’ve had a baby, I feel more, I don’t know, free? Does that make sense? And I feel safe with you, so I’m willing to take risks, I guess. But overall, I’m not as tough as you think I am.”

“Are there things you are afraid of?” He always thought of her as fearless, but maybe not.

She looked away from him and then back. “I’m afraid of a lot of things. Mostly I’m afraid of myself.”

“Why?”

“You have a great family, Kevin. I don’t. I never did.”

“I kind of guessed that. I’ve been wondering about your family.”

“My father died when I was very young. I barely remember him. He was a marine, and was killed in action in the Middle East. It was very hard on my mother, pushed her into a lot of bad decisions, and as a result she and I aren’t close, as I told you.”

“But why are you afraid?”

“Because I don’t want to be like her and I know I could be. I never want to lose my focus because of a man.”

“Are you worried about that? That I could cause you to lose focus?” That would explain a lot.

“Yes. I’d been on track for so long, and then you came along and I really liked you and you were so not the guy I was planning on being with. Then we were together. Kind of. Not that anyone knew, but . . .” Her voice had gotten very small, almost like she was trying to diminish what she was saying, but her feelings came through loud and clear.

There it is
. He remembered the night at the Reliance dinner when they found a few moments alone and she basically told him she felt like their relationship was only about sex. Just like that night, all he’d had to do was listen and she’d opened up; she must have realized it too because she squirmed in his arms and tried to get away. “Did that bother you?” he asked. “That no one knew?”

She hesitated. Harper was all about her independence, about being strong, about facing down her problems, but he could see she was warring with herself. Being independent wouldn’t allow her to care. If she had feelings for him, though . . .

Looking down, she chewed on her lower lip. Then she nodded, not saying a word.

He pulled her in and held on while Harper dissolved into a mess of tears. She was not a crier—hell, he’d only seen her cry one other time, and that was when she’d told him about Anna—and that made this full-blown breakdown affect him so much more. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I had no idea you wanted us to be public.”

“It’s just . . . I just . . . I know it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. After the first time at the wedding, I wanted everyone to know you were with me, Kevin. God, I sound like a teenage girl.”

“I wish I’d known. If we’d talked about it . . . Why didn’t you answer my calls and texts? We could have worked it out. Hell, a good fight could have cleared the air. We lost so much time over something so easy to fix.”

“I was about to tell you everything, a couple of weeks after I found out I was pregnant. But the day I was ready to call you accepted the offer from San Diego. That pretty much finished it for me.”

“I wish you’d said something,” he whispered into her temple.

“I wish I had, too. But it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

The thing was if he’d known how she felt and about the baby, he wouldn’t have gone to San Diego. He could have taken two other offers that would have kept him on the East Coast and much closer to her. He held Harper in his arms, warm and secure, hoping she could feel how important she was to him. So much time had passed, and he still didn’t know how this was all going to go. There was bad blood between her and his family, although today seemed to ease a lot of tension, and the truth was neither of them knew how to be in a relationship.

Harper wouldn’t deny him anything with regard to Anna, but he had his doubts about how they could put the pieces together. She was gun-shy. Something in her past was keeping her from fully committing.

But she wasn’t the only one. Life with Harper scared the crap out of him. His father always told him, “The best thing a man can do for himself is to marry up. A good woman will make you a better man.” The thing was, she was way up. Like in the stratosphere, and Kevin didn’t know if he could keep up with her.

“I’m sorry I fell apart. I guess I’m still dealing with fluctuating hormones.”

“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe you just needed a good cry on a friend’s shoulder.”

She pulled back and a shy smile crossed her face. “Maybe that’s it.” Her fingers were moving up and down over the bare skin of his back, and Kevin felt his body respond. He may have said they were friends, but this physical attraction between them was off the charts.

Looking down at the mischief in her eyes, he could tell she knew it. She knew all about it. Pulling him in so his erection was right at her sweet spot, Harper moved her hips and Kevin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sex would be one way to ease the tension.

“You know you’re playing with fire, right?”

“I do. It’s nice to find a man who can keep up with me.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Keep up?”

“I’ve been known to be insatiable.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He meant that. It wasn’t anything he’d ever complain about.

“Well, it can be somewhat exhausting. Not that I’ve had endless partners, but I’ve had a few men beg me to stop.”

“Wimps.” He watched her smile as he caressed her back. “You’re lucky. I’m a professional and in very good shape.”

She grinned and dropped soft kisses on his collarbone. Her lips were cold, and the shock of it was unnerving.

Quickly, Kevin grabbed both cheeks and lifted her up. He could penetrate her any time he wanted, but he was waiting for her to give him the okay. Harper tightened her hold and looked at him with perfect understanding. Kevin knew she wanted this as much as he did and drove into her.

Harper arched and cried out. She rocked against him as he held on to her and pressed her back into a wall. Then he started moving, matching her rhythm until he felt himself start to climax. He tried to slow down, but Harper dug her nails into his back and Kevin couldn’t hold on. He tensed and released, spilling into her. Harper called his name and Kevin knew he never wanted to hear another woman say it in that way again.

When the shuddering stopped and her movements calmed, Harper pressed her lips to his ear. “Let’s just focus on tonight.”

She knew him so well. He didn’t want to project too much, but he felt the two of them had to tread carefully this time. There was no doubt he wanted to be with her, but they had to get this right. They needed time to get to know each other and get to know their baby. However, in that moment, all he wanted to do was take her to bed and keep her there forever. Unfortunately, he had to think about going home.

But then Harper rested her head on his shoulder and let out the most contented sigh—it was like a whisper of satisfaction, and he decided to do the only sensible thing and take her back to bed. He wanted this feeling to last, even if it was only for a few more hours.

***

Harper rolled over and found she was alone in her bed. Once again there was hazy light filtering in her windows, but this time it was from a streetlamp. It was the middle of the night, and the last thing she’d expected was to wake up alone.

Throwing back the covers, she didn’t think Kevin would sneak out without telling her, but nothing surprised her anymore. And that included seeing the light on in Anna’s room.

Walking across the hall, she stopped at the door of her baby’s room and the most perfect sight greeted her. Sitting in the armchair, Kevin was feeding Anna. It seemed that she’d stopped sucking on the bottle and father and daughter were gazing at each other.

“What are you looking at, kid?”

There was a sweet gurgle from the baby coupled with a musical little coo.

“You want me to sing again? Are you a glutton for punishment?”

Sing? He really was perfect. She wondered what lullaby or children’s song he remembered from when he was a child, if there was a family favorite.

“Take me out to the ball game,” he crooned softly. “Take me out with the crowd . . . buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack. I don’t care if I never get back.”

Harper’s heart collapsed in on itself watching macho Kevin Rossi sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” to his three-month-old daughter. It was perfection through and through. He smiled down at the baby and she smiled up and him, and he put the bottle down and dabbed at her milk-covered lips with a spit-up cloth and kept singing.

Anna squealed with delight as her father continued to serenade her and Kevin’s smile got bigger and bigger with every one of her responses. There was nothing more perfect in the whole world, and Harper brought her hands to her heart, trying to contain the palpable ache she felt every time she looked at Kevin.

Something caught Anna’s attention, and the baby looked at her and shared one of those special smiles Harper had come to cherish. But she noticed something. It wasn’t the same as the smile Anna gave to her daddy. That was something magical, and Harper was happy she’d been able to see it.

Kevin was staring at her now, too, but his eyes told a different story. The one between them was about all that could be. It was pure and simple, but not so easy.