The Wedding Secret (17 page)

Kevin was showing lots of emotion, though. He threw open the door to the apartment in a way that told her how mad he was, and frankly, Harper didn’t give a shit. She didn’t. All she wanted was for Kevin to be out of her apartment.

Once he stepped over the threshold, he turned in some asshat move meant to show her that he was angry. So she closed the door in his face and threw the deadbolt. He swore and then she heard footsteps, and then the noisy elevator doors opened and closed. Once she was sure he was gone, Harper checked on Anna, who was sound asleep, and retreated to her bedroom.

There was a vacant feeling to the space. It wasn’t as if Kevin had moved in or anything, but knowing he was gone from there for good caused a wash of sadness so great, it overwhelmed her.

Harper’s chest grew heavy, her eyes burned, and she covered her mouth to stifle the cry that wanted to escape. Going into her bathroom, she turned on the shower. But she didn’t strip and get in. Instead, Harper sank to the cold tile floor and after sucking in a breath, the first sob escaped and she lost it.

“Oh, my God. Oh, no. Nooooo . . .” There was that sound. The pained wail she remembered from when her mother cried over her father. It wasn’t about death, it was about losing her love, and the pain was so acute she didn’t know how anyone survived it.

“Oh, God, Kevin.” Saying the words made it all real for Harper. He was everything. He’d given her a baby. He’d given her hope, and now he’d let her down. How could he not understand? How could he not give her a chance to finish? How could he make assumptions? How could he just leave without a fight?

The sobs wracked her whole body, tensing her muscles and stopping her breath. Her brain felt soft and spongy, and Harper wondered how she let herself get like this. She’d always vowed that she would maintain control over her life. And now all the control was gone. Gone when Kevin had walked out the door thinking she was a liar and a fraud.

***

She didn’t know how long she was on the bathroom floor, but eventually she turned off the water and stood. The image in the bathroom mirror was fuzzy because the mirrors had steamed up. With the palm of her hand, she wiped away some of the fog so she could see.

What she saw was pathetic. A woman who’d collapsed because of a man. A woman she’d promised herself she’d never be. The soft rapping on the bathroom door startled her.

“Emmy?” It was her mother.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”
Shit.
She didn’t want her mother to see her like this. She wanted to deal with Kevin as she’d always dealt with her problems—alone and on her own terms. The hand towel she rubbed over her face was now covered with makeup, not that it mattered. It was her towel; she could clean it, throw it out, it didn’t matter. It was hers. Everything here was hers, and she’d earned it.

That should have been some consolation, given her a feeling of victory. She’d earned her way here, but Kevin, and the way he had treated her, left a hole in her heart that she didn’t know if she could ever fill.

God, she was pissed. And hurt. And upset. The bastard knew just how to strike at her. What had gotten into him? She’d reinvented her life. People did it all the time.

Finally opening the door, she saw her mother sitting on the edge of the bed. Her hands were clenched tight and Harper could see she’d been crying.

“Kevin left?”

“Yeah,” Harper said. “He’s gone.”

“I’m sorry. I never should have come here.”

“You had nowhere else to go, Mama. There wasn’t a lot of choice.”

“But you had to tell him everything because I was here.”

That was true. She did. And it made a big piece of what Kevin said particularly upsetting. Had she come clean about things because she’d had to? Would she have let the story ride had her mother not shown up that morning? Would she have told Kevin about his daughter if she hadn’t seen him again? He didn’t know if there was anything else she was hiding, and when or if it would come out. It was a sad state of affairs. On one hand she’d accomplished some amazing things. On the other, she hidden a lot of herself from the people she cared most about.

“Let’s not do this now.”

“I’m sorry, Emmy. It seems I bring you nothing but trouble, but if Kevin can’t see what you’ve been through and accomplished, then maybe he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I just worked really hard. He went to as prestigious a school as I did, so did everyone at that house today. We all have big, fancy diplomas.”

Her mother nodded thoughtfully. “That is true, but did they get their college diplomas the way you did?”

“I’m not following.”

“The Campbell boys are rich as rich can be. The Rossis may not have been as well off, but they did all right. You, my girl, should not be where you are today. But you didn’t let anything stop you, Emmy. You got the same place they did, but you had to do so much more to get there. You are your daddy’s daughter.”

“Am I?”

“You are. You are David to the core, and he would be so proud of you.”

“I lied. I don’t think he would have been proud of that.”

“Maybe not. Mostly he would have been disappointed that you weren’t proud enough of what you were able to do to take credit for it. You’re hiding. That’s never okay.”

“But Kevin . . .”

“Is a horse’s ass if he can’t see past this. Give him a couple of days, then make him beg.”

“Beg?” Harper didn’t know if she wanted any man who begged. Okay, that was a lie. Maybe a little begging would be nice, but she couldn’t get past the fact that maybe she was getting exactly what she deserved.

“Honey, you
always
want a man to beg. Especially one who looks like him. Kevin Rossi is too pretty for his own good. He needs to do some begging. It’ll humble him some.”

Harper laughed. “I guess we’ll see.”

“I’m getting picked up tomorrow and going to stay at Meryl’s; you need some space. Go wash your face and get some sleep. Your eyes are all swollen from crying.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

“I am sorry . . .”

“Don’t be sorry. You had to come here. It’s okay.”

“No, I mean for everything else. You deserved better from me.”

It was the kind of thing Harper had never expected to hear. Her mother, not usually one to admit mistakes, had pretty much apologized for Harper’s entire screwed-up life. But Mama had a point about a few other things, too. The biggest one was that Harper’s life wasn’t that screwed up. Sure she’d made some whopper mistakes, but she always tried to do better. Even after all this time, she still had things to learn, but then again, who didn’t?

Her mother leaned in and kissed the top of her head then stood. “I may only be a woman from the country, but that boy loves you. He’ll be back. Trust me on that. Night.”

“Night.”

Rising herself, Harper went back to the bathroom to shower for real this time. She had to wash off the self-pity and figure out how to solve her latest crop of problems.

Harper had spent the weekend holed up in her apartment. Kim had returned from her family Thanksgiving on Saturday and the two of them played with the baby, watched sappy movies, and talked endlessly about idiot men.

It was nice to have someone to talk to about it. On Friday, her mother had kept her word and moved in with Mrs. Rossi. Which was weird on so many levels, but the way things were going, nothing could surprise her anymore. Harper had arranged for a personal shopper to meet them at a local mall, and Mama was outfitted with a solid basic wardrobe. There was talk that she might do some secretarial work for Reliance.

Harper was happy her mother was doing well, she just wasn’t so sure about herself. Kim was in agreement with Mama, that Kevin would be back, but other than a quick call asking about Anna, she hadn’t heard much.

She had heard from Meg, though. Her friend texted several times a day, had called twice, and felt horrible about how her brother had reacted. That alone was helping Harper feel better. Knowing she had support from people she cared about eased the ache left by Kevin. The part she couldn’t get past is that it didn’t seem like he was going to come back. There would be no declarations of love, no making up, no begging like Mama had said.

Looking at herself on Monday morning as she readied for work, Harper wondered if she’d ever be really happy. There were a lot of little things to be thankful for and she had to believe she’d do fine. But she had her doubts that happy ever after was in the cards for her. Kevin Rossi was her guy. The one her heart wanted. Even if he was being a lunkhead.

***

When she arrived at the Reliance campus, the salt air and the sound of the gulls overhead took her down a notch. As much as she loved the city, the North Shore offered more and more in terms of the kind of life she wanted for her and Anna.

It was early and there were only a few people around the offices. Some were chatting about ideas over bagels, getting cups of coffee, and talking about their weekends, and others were taking advantage of the in-house fitness center. It was good. Jason was growing a business that was about making a better life. Work was part of it, but only part of it.

Usually her secretary made a point to beat her here, but it was early even for her. Hanging up her coat, Harper dropped into her ergonomically designed desk chair and looked around at her huge corner office, and wondered what she’d done wrong.

“Hey.”

Jason was not who she’d expected to see at barely eight o’clock in the morning.

“You’re here early.”

“I was hoping to catch up with you.”

Harper nodded. He’d heard. “I guess I should have expected that.” Throwing her head back, she blinked her eyes closed. Jason sat on the edge of her desk and rubbed his palms together. He didn’t say anything, he waited, knowing she’d break eventually.

Harper didn’t want to talk about what happened. She didn’t want his sympathy. “I wish I could make this whole mess go away.”

Ugh.
Why had she said that out loud?

“I think there are a few people who feel the same.” Jason looked up. “I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. For what it’s worth, most of us think your story is pretty amazing.”

“I don’t know about amazing . . .”

“No?” he asked. “I think what you’ve accomplished and the way you’ve done it has been pretty incredible.”

“I’m nothing special, Jason. I just worked really hard.” Restless, she stood and went to the window. She had the most amazing view. When it was a clear day she could see all the way to Manhattan. “I worked and worked and didn’t give up. I got some breaks, too, things I never could have anticipated. People who helped me and changed everything, but the truth is I could have settled for less and still done okay. I could have tried other ways to be successful, but I’m just wired a certain way. It was the only way for me to get where I needed to be.”

“Are you listening to yourself? You didn’t settle, Harper. Don’t settle now.”

“That’s the problem, there’s no settling to be had. Kevin doesn’t want me. He wants the illusion of me. Perfect me. The one who didn’t fight and claw her way out of a trailer park.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he knows what he wants.”

“I think he’s making himself pretty clear. I don’t need to be treated like this, Jason. I was treated like crap my whole life. I’m over it.

“I understand that he’s upset. But I’m not exactly sure why. Okay. I lied about my name. I wasn’t totally up-front about my upbringing. But the one thing I did hold back that I think was really serious, our baby, he seems to have forgiven me for. I don’t understand. Not at all.”

There was a long pause and Jason moved to her side. He was more brother or best friend than boss, and she definitely felt that when he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “You turned him inside out, Harp. Be patient.”

“There’s nothing to be patient about. He can’t forgive me. It’s so stupid, really. I didn’t do anything wrong. I purged my old life for a new one. I didn’t do it because I was on the run from the law.”

“No, you were on the run from yourself.”

The simplicity of what he’d said, the truth, made her eyes flood. Jason had never seen her like this—she wasn’t emotional—but it didn’t faze him. “I couldn’t be her. She was a victim.”

“No, she wasn’t; Emmy was a fighter. Harper still is.”

He didn’t say anything else, he just left her with her own thoughts. The bastard. He had a tendency to do that, to make people reach inside themselves. He’d gotten even better at it when he’d finally given up and let himself love Meg. Now he was like the local therapist.

Harper didn’t want quiet. She didn’t want to think. She wanted to kick the crap out of something, or have a good cry, or both. Both would be good, but she’d have to do it alone. Too many people had seen her cry already, and that was going to stop.

But what was she to do about this broken heart that wouldn’t stop hurting? It was stupid because she didn’t deserve the way he’d treated her, and she should be furious with him. But she wasn’t because he’d given her Anna, and no matter what happened between them, that would never change. Still, he was being a dope.

She could see more people starting to arrive at work. It would be a good day here, that much she knew. Reliance was her family, and she could count on the stability when she most needed it. No dysfunctional family at Reliance. Just quiet and a chance to focus on the work and clear your mind.

***

Kevin generally wasn’t gullible, but when he walked into the conference room at his brother-in-law’s company and came face-to-face with his sisters, their husbands, his mother, and Harper’s mother, he knew he was in big trouble.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” he muttered when he walked into the room. “Are you people serious?”

His mother approached, firm and resigned, and he knew right then this was her doing. She pulled out one of the large leather chairs. “We’re very serious. Sit.”

He sat. Angry. Miserable. And knowing he deserved everything they were going to throw at him. He’d behaved like the biggest ass on the planet and lost the woman who was everything to him.

Of course, he’d never tell them that. Not without a fight.

His mother sat in the chair next to him, covered his hands with her own, and stared into his eyes. Maybe she wasn’t going to ream him out. Maybe she understood.

“Honey,” she said quietly. “I have to ask you something.”

“Okay,” he responded.

She nodded. Gave him a shy smile and then whacked him right upside the head. “Are you impaired?”

“Hey!” He rubbed his head. It hurt. “Why did you do that?”

“Answer. Is there something we missed in raising you? I thought I did a god job, but maybe there was something or maybe you were deprived of oxygen at birth?”

“No! What the hell are you talking about?”

Meg jumped in now, obviously upset and angry. “How could you do that to Harper, Kevin? Dump her for something so stupid.”

Great. His own family was on his ex-whatever-she-was’s side. “Did she tell you what happened?” Had she ratted him out? That didn’t seem like her style.

“No,” he heard a soft Southern drawl declare. Her mother.
Great
. “I told them. I’m sure she’s going to be spittin’ mad when she finds out, too.”

Kevin folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. This was not happening. “Why are you talking to me about Harper? If there’s anything to discuss, the two of us will find the time. We have to work out all the particulars with Anna and—”

“But you haven’t been talking, and you hurt her, Kevin.” His mother was still next to him, and this time she poked his shoulder. “Look at me when I talk to you.”

He picked his head up but didn’t say anything. He’d been avoiding thinking about Harper the past few days because he wasn’t doing too well, either. He hated that he’d been such an asshole and figured when she regrouped she’d rip his head off. He deserved it, but he had his pride and he wasn’t going to let his family eviscerate him because he wasn’t totally wrong here. She had lied about a lot of things.

But it was the look in Diane Snow’s eyes that finally did him in. She sat on the other side of him, and instead of a smack or a poke, she simply put her hands in her lap and waited.

When he finally turned his full attention to her, she took advantage. “I made a lot of mistakes with my daughter, Kevin. I’m sure you know that.”

He shrugged, nodded. “She told me.”

“Then you know how exceptional she is? How she succeeded in spite of me, not because of me?”

He knew. God, did he know.

“This wasn’t just about hard work. And changing her name, while I didn’t agree, was her way of starting fresh. She needed that in order to get away from the memories of her stepbrother.”

Harper’s mentions of the infamous Hill were limited. Kevin knew she hated him, but didn’t know why. “I get that there were problems—”

“Hill tried to rape her right after she turned eighteen.” Everyone in the room froze and silence dropped like a heavy curtain. “She got away from him, but she never got over it. Charlie said something about boys being boys and what did Emmy expect when she walked around looking too pretty for her own good. But I didn’t know exactly what happened until a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, my God. How could you not know what happened?”

“Kevin . . .” his mother warned.

“Sorry, but I don’t understand.”

“I deserve it, Meryl. He’s right. I should have paid more attention.” She sniffled and took a tissue from the box in the middle of the table. Dabbing her eyes, she continued. “She stayed with a friend until she graduated. I didn’t know exactly why, but she refused to come home. She worked all summer and when she left for college in the fall, she went to Philadelphia and never came back. I heard from her once a month, like clockwork, and I took the bus all the way to Philly to see her graduate. I felt so strange walking around, so out of place, but when I did finally see her after the ceremony, I could see she just belonged. I was proud of her, but she really didn’t want me there. It was justified. She felt I should have protected her more, and she was right.” Diane held nothing back, and was taking the blame for everything that had happened. “Hill finally let slip what had happened. I felt sick. My poor girl.” Tears were coming faster now, as the guilt swamped her. “That’s when I started to cut him off from the money and made plans to leave.” She took a shaky breath and plowed forward. “He didn’t take kindly to that. Pretty much went off his rails. I didn’t tell her, but Hill blames Emmy. I feel awful.”

“You didn’t know, Diane,” Meryl Rossi said.

“Maybe not, but I’ll feel guilty till the day I die. She still watches out for me. Worries about me. I’m very lucky.”

“What she did, Kevin,” Meg began, “was nothing short of amazing. Harper should be just another poor girl working at a big-box store, but she pretty much runs the day-to-day operations of a multibillion-dollar corporation.”

“Changing her name may have been extreme,” Jason said. “But it wasn’t illegal, and while it was calculated, it helped her deal with what she went through.”

“Why didn’t she tell anyone, then? Why the secrets?”

“Oh, my God. Really?” Now it was Caroline’s turn, and that surprised him because Caroline didn’t even like Harper. “Kevin, she didn’t lie. Her new life started when she left the old life behind. And she was right, we assumed a lot about her. Jason looked at her employment portfolio, and you know what? Her high school is mentioned on her résumé. Her hometown. We just drew our own conclusions about her.”

“I don’t know. Why would we assume she was some privileged kid?”

Caroline looked at him like he’d sprouted a horn in the middle of his forehead. “Because that’s what we are. We assumed she was like us.”

Kevin started to argue, but it just made him feel stupid. He and his sisters hadn’t grown up in a mansion like Jason and Josh, but they hadn’t wanted for much.

He was starting to feel more and more like he’d really screwed up. Probably because he had.

“She deserved better than what you gave her, Kevin,” Caroline said. “I’ve never been a huge Harper fan, but you should have done better by her.”

“So what do I do? How do I fix this?”

Josh grinned at him. His best friend had been quiet until now. “Start with an apology, then I’d move to groveling. Expensive jewelry might help. You’ve been an idiot.”

Diane shook her head. “She won’t give a whit about jewelry. She can buy her own. Being a good father to your baby is the most important thing, but earning back her trust is going to take some doing.”

Giving Harper the upper hand was not on his top ten list. The woman would torture him until the end of time, but then again, the more he thought about being with her, he couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life. Getting her back, though, wasn’t going to be easy. There was nothing easy about Harper, and Kevin had made it worse.

There was noise—glass breaking and screams—and Jason and Josh were on their feet and out the door. One voice stood out in the mayhem. Deep. Slow.