The Weight of the World (25 page)

Only
then did Artemis recognize him,

her
almost lover.

“
Whom
the gods love dies young.
”

-Menander

XX.

Astin
sat at his computer, checking his list of internet bookmarks and
drinking a glass of orange juice. It was still early. He had saved a
link to Discordia, recently, despite the little voice in his head
that told him to think twice about it. Astin knew that gossip had
never served anyone, but now that it was about people he cared about,
he couldn't look away.

He
scrolled right past the story about a popular girl who had graduated
in May and how she had chosen her college based on where her older
boyfriend was, only to find out he was cheating on her. He didn't
even look at the pictures on an article that suggested one of the
varsity soccer players was taking performance enhancers. He stopped
when he landed on an article posted the day before, because he had
glanced Diana's name in the body of text.

The
article, titled “Virgin Alert” was a list of the top ten hottest
virgins at Olympia Heights Senior High. June Herald made the list
along with a bunch of girls in Valerie's abstinence club. A second
header in the article, “Recent Departures” included Diana.
Astin's rage renewed.

The
comment section was worse. A wiser reader would have known that the
comments sections of gossip blogs were the bowels of the internet,
but Astin had never been one for gossip prior to this summer; he
continued scrolling and read the list of ignorant, anonymous spew.

“Diana
Hill. I would TAP THAT.”

“EW!!!
why woulld ryan bear sleep with HER?!?! wtf”

“Hill
is iNsAnE. She talks 2 the frogs in Biology. I bet she's wild in bed,
tho.”

Astin
turned off his monitor and walked to the kitchen. He couldn't read
any more. He feared that if he did, he'd throw his computer out the
window.

Astin
paced around the kitchen for a while, thinking about what Adam had
said. The other guys were only-children, they didn't understand what
it was like for Astin to see his sister's innocence taken away by
some smooth-talking stranger. Worst of all, Diana didn't see that
Astin was trying to protect her. Ryan's presence in her life was
coming between the siblings.

Astin
stopped. He took a deep breath. He knew what he had to do and the
decision steadied his anger. Ryan was a problem. Astin wasn't going
to lose Diana. She was his best friend and his family. He had to
focus on the task at hand.

Diana
came down the stairs at lunch time. She ran around the dining room,
picking up her discarded cell phone and sunglasses and shoving them
in her purse. Astin stepped into the room, holding a plate with a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it.

“You
got a text from Ryan. He's running fifteen minutes behind.”

“You
read my text?” Diana hissed.

Astin
shrugged. “Sorry, but you were in the shower and I wanted to make
sure it wasn't urgent.”

“Sure,”
she replied.

“Diana...”
Astin crossed to the table and set the plate down. He ran his hands
through his curly blonde hair. “Let's cut this out, okay? I can't
stand fighting with you. I'm sorry I flipped out.”

Diana
furrowed her brow. She set her purse down. “For real?”

“I'm
still not wild about you being so serious with Bear,” he said, “But
we're juniors now, right? We expect our parents to trust us to make
the right decisions, so I guess we have to trust each other.”

Diana
threw her arms around Astin and hugged him. When she pulled back she
was a lot less tense.

“You
eaten lunch yet?” Astin asked.

“No,”
Diana said, “I figured I'll snack on popcorn until after the movie
and then we'll eat.”

“Oh,
sure, that's good for track and field conditioning.” Astin shook
his head. He picked up the peanut butter and jelly and tore it in
half. Astin sat down at the table and took a bite out of his half.
Diana sat opposite him and ate hers, quietly.

Astin
paused with just a few bites left in his hands, “I can heal people
with my hands, y'know?”

“That's
a cool power.”

“How
are the senses working out? Controlling them now?”

“Yeah,
I haven't had any freak-outs in a while. I have a feeling the sense
of smell is going to suck in the locker room once sports start up at
school.”

Astin
wrinkled his nose. “Healing people is way cooler, even if big
injuries make me pass out.”

“You
think it's proportionate?”

Astin
nodded, “The dog had a cut on the pad of his paw the other day-- I
think there was some glass on the street when I walked him-- and I
healed it just fine. I was a little tired, took a nap, but I didn't
pass out.”

“Wonder
if you could get someone from The Pantheon to work with you.”

Astin
laughed, “Right, I can see that going well. 'Hey, can I cut you?
It's for science.'”

“Dr.
Livingstone might go for it,” Diana suggested.

Astin
saw Ryan's car pull up in front of the driveway. Diana swallowed the
last bite of her sandwich and jumped up.

“I'll
be back for dinner,” Diana said. “We'll talk Pantheon then,
okay?”

Astin
stood up and hugged his sister one last time. “Take care.
Be
safe.”

Astin
watched from the window as Diana ran down the driveway and hopped in
Ryan's car. He smiled at her. Diana leaned forward and planted a kiss
on his lips. Astin felt a hot weight growing in the pit of his
stomach as his sister kissed her boyfriend.

After
a few seconds that stretched on for a lot longer in Astin's mind than
they did in reality, the kiss ended and Ryan touched his lips. His
eyes widened. He said something to Diana and then started to reach
around her frantically. His hand went to his throat and Astin saw
Diana start to panic. Diana backed out of the open door of the car
and shouted, “Somebody help!”

Ryan
leaned across the center console, grasping at the glove box handle
before his eyelids drooped, his head dropped, and he was unconscious.

Astin
ran out the front door. He shoved his phone into Diana's hand and
shouted, “Call an ambulance.” His determination to get rid of
Ryan had dissolved. Astin pulled on the handle of the glove box. A
stack of loose papers, a GPS, pens, air-fresheners, iPod accessories,
and assorted hard candies poured out on the floor. It was Astin's
assumption that Ryan had been reaching for an EpiPen, but as he
sorted through the pile of clutter and things rolled under the seats,
he couldn't find it.

Diana
was doing her best to give her address to the dispatcher on the
phone, but she was losing syllables in frantic sobs. Two minutes had
passed before Astin found the pen. He tried once to use it, but
forgot to take off the safety cap. When he finally slowed down enough
to read the instructions and try again, nothing happened. Ryan didn't
move and he didn't start breathing.

Sirens
sounded at the end of the street. Diana was sitting on the driveway,
now. The dispatcher was trying to calm her down. “He told me he was
allergic to peanuts, but I forgot. I didn't know it was this bad,”
she said.

Astin
sat on the ground next to the running car. He was shaking.

“Astin,”
Diana said, suddenly, “Do something. Heal him!”

Astin
nodded. He got up and put his hands on Ryan's back. He closed his
eyes and focused, trying to block out the sounds of Diana's sobs. His
hands glowed white. Astin gritted his teeth, focusing his energy on
fixing his mistake.

He
saw colorful spots in front of his eyes. Astin kept contact with
Ryan's back. Seeing Diana this destroyed wasn't worth it. He thought
that getting rid of Ryan would fix everything, but he hadn't thought
about the cost. The spots multiplied until they filled his vision.
Astin pulled his hands back, afraid that he would lose himself if he
kept contact. He staggered back onto the grass and blacked out.

The
ambulance pulled up next to them.

“
From
the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.”

-Socrates

xxi.

When
Hera told her husband that Ixion

had
dared to try and make an advance on her,

Lord
Zeus decided to put it to the test

and
sculpted a cloud.

The
god of storms made a likeness of Hera

and
sent this facsimile of mist and air

to
seduce the imprudent guest, Ixion.

This
proved Hera's claim.

As
his sentence, he was thrown from Olympus

and
struck with a bolt of Zeus' own lightning,

before
being chained to the ever spinning

wheel
of fire, the sun.

“
Man,
like a light in the night, is kindled and put out..
”

-Heraclitus

XXI.

A
light, steady rain fell over the cemetery three days after Diana's
fateful 911 call. The sky was blanketed in a uniform layer of gray.
Most of the students of Olympia Heights Senior High had shown up for
the wake the evening before.

Diana
stood with Ryan's mother. Diana's twin brother held her hand beside
her. Astin held their umbrella with his other hand and stared blankly
ahead at the casket.

“Many
of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake; some shall
live forever, others shall be an everlasting horror and disgrace. But
the wise shall shine brightly like the splendor of the firmament, and
those who lead the many to justice shall be like the stars forever.
The Word of the Lord.”

“Thanks
be to God,” replied the crowd in mumbled unison.

Astin's
gaze stayed fixed as Ryan's mother came forward to sing “In
Heavenly Love Abiding.” He watched until the cemetery workers came
forth to turn the crank and lower the casket beneath the earth. As it
vanished below the edge of the grave, Diana squeezed his hand,
ignorantly grateful for his support.

Astin
stayed by the grave for a minute as his family walked towards the
road. A short man with receding black hair and large ears patted him
on the shoulder as he passed. “It's a shame, one so young,” he
said. “It's too bad you couldn't save him.”

Astin
whipped around to get a better look at the man. The stranger didn't
so much as glance back. Astin shook his head. Diana had told the EMTs
that Astin had been doing CPR when he'd blacked out. Of course, that
was what the man was refering to. He couldn't know the truth, could
he?

Astin
returned to the family's car. Their father turned on talk radio as
they left the cemetery gates. Astin let the debate over library
funding distract him from the unbearable weight of his guilt.

“
How's
Diana doing?” Zach asked Lewis over the phone. He stood in his
room, gathering his gear for football camp the following morning.
Lewis had been on the track team with Ryan and had gone to the
funeral and the reception afterward.