The Windsor Girl (14 page)

‘There dear.  Sit yourself down her and I’ll make you a cup of tea.  Is there anyone here with you love?’

‘No, I’m on my own, but my niece will be along anytime’, she whimpered, ‘Ellie’s my sister’s girl.  Oh, she’s going to be in a state when she knows her mother’s gone’.

At that moment, Ellie walked onto the ward and heard her aunt’s cry, from the door of the room.  She stood very still, staring at Dora.

‘No.  Aunt Dora?  Tell me it’s not true?  Please’, she begged.

‘Eh! Ellie, if only I could love.  She was very poorly lass.  She had Rheumatic Fever and her heart couldn’t take it.  It just gave out.  There was nothing they could do Ellie’.

She held out her arms to Ellie, ‘
eh! lass, come here and let me hold you’.

Ellie went to her like a child.  Dora held her in her arms, and repeatedly patted her back, ‘there, there love.  Cry it out Ellie’.  The nurse left them to their grief.

Ellie thought her heart would break.  She wept until she felt she would die. 

‘Oh Aunt Dora; my
lovely Mam gone.  I can’t believe it’.

‘It’s awful, I know, but
your Mam wouldn’t want you to make yourself poorly.  She loved you more than she ever said, you know.  Aye, she told me often enough’.

‘I know Aunt Dora’.

Dora had been a little afraid of Maggie but she loved her more than anyone in the world.  Even Albert.

‘I loved
your Mam a lot Ellie; she was my best friend as well as a sister’.

‘She loved you too Aunt Dora.  She didn’t always show her feelings, but she would always stand by her loved ones’.

‘I know she would Ellie.  She had principles, did your Mam.  That’s why Albert didn’t like her’.

‘I could never understand that.  What had she ever done to him?’

‘Well love, you Mam never got on with you Uncle Albert.  You must have noticed how sarcastic she was about him?  The reason was because of me.  I always loved kids and wanted to have some of my own.  Albert didn’t agree and would never consider having any. 

I cried for months, at one time, and
your Mam lost her temper and went at Albert like a ‘tornado’.  Called him a bastard and said it was just as well he didn’t want any kids because they might turn out like him.  Well, you can imagine what it was like.  Albert said she was a troublemaker and ought to mind her own business.  He said some awful things about you dad, as well.  Said he was only interested in his beer and used your Mam as a ‘baby machine’.  Well, your Mam said he was jealous because
Tom
had married her and not
him
’.

Ellie looked startled by this and Dora was quick to say, ‘Oh Albert never touched
you Mam.  He wanted to though.  Aye, he did
that
.  He used to ask her to go out with him when we were young lasses.  Maggie, of course, would never give him the ‘time o day’ cause she was stuck on Tom.  When Albert tried to force things, you dad gave him and hiding, and that was that.  He didn't try again, but started courting me.  I was never much to look at.  Not like you Mam.  So I thought I had better marry him before I was left on the shelf’.

‘Oh Aunt Dora, he must have loved you when he married you’.

‘Aye, in his own way, he did.  But if only I could have made him understand how much I wanted a family?  That's why I make a fuss of you lot.  If I couldn't have kids of my own then I had to make do with my sister’s and I love every one of you’.

‘And we love you Aunt Dora’.  They both held each other and felt that life would never be the same without Maggie.

The funeral was held on Monday morning and Ellie was not surprised to find that there was a mass of people, of all ages, walking
behind her towards the cemetery, even though it was drizzling with rain.  Maggie had been well liked and, even loved, by some.  Other mourners were old ‘sparring partners’ of Maggie's, for they too, had a lot of respect for her.  None of this surprised Ellie.

However, she was surprised by the turnout from
Thornton Avenue.  William had arrived at the house earlier, along with Kate and Molly.  William had brought flowers, sent ‘with respect’ from all the staff.  Kate held a posy of spring blooms, from the garden, which she had given to Ellie.  A note said, ‘Treasured memories of my new friend, love from Kate’.

As the procession approached the cemetery, Ellie was shocked to see both James and Richard waiting at the church gate.  She had expected the younger brother to be there, but had not thought that Richard would have put in an appearance.

Richard had, in his hand, a large wreath of white lilies and the brothers bowed their heads as the cortege, with the simple coffin, passed by them and into the churchyard.

An old priest, who had given Maggie comfort when her husband had died, conducted the funeral.  Now he tried to comfort the remaining family.

‘God will find a way Ellie make no mistake about that.  He will guide you on the path of life’, he said, when the burial was over, and the mourners were winding their way back to the gates.

‘Yes Father, I’m sure he will’, said Ellie, wondering where God had been when her mother needed help.

Aunt Dora and Uncle Albert had made sandwiches, which were laid out on the kitchen table, covered with tea cloths, ‘so there would be a ‘bite to eat’ for friends before they went home’.

James took Ellie to one side and spoke quietly.

‘Richard and I will make our way back home now.  We don’t want to impose on your grief.  Don't worry about getting back to work.  Perhaps by the end of next week you will have sorted out your affairs and be able to think more clearly?  Victoria says you may take as long as you need’. 

He turned to join Richard, who stood, awkwardly, watching her, some
yards away.

‘Master James?’  Ellie called after him, ‘I’m not sure that I will be back to work, at all.  There are the boys to consider.  Without Mother, they are my responsibility.  I’ll let you know by Wednesday.  Will that be alright?’

He felt his pulse quicken, ‘of course Ellie.  You must do what you think best’.

He retraced his steps back to Richard, realising that he was in love with her, and with one last glance at Ellie, he and his brother departed.

Back in Canal Street, Ellie told Aunt Dora that she would give up her job to look after the boys.

‘After all, they can’t manage on their own, can they?’ she said, watching her brothers sitting on the rug, looking forlorn and not saying much to anyone.

Dora had been thinking about the situation ever since last week when poor Maggie was taken.

‘Ellie
. Uncle Albert and me, we’ve been talking and we think you ought to keep you job on.  We have enough room to have the boys with us, and Thomas is working at the mill, so he at least, will be able to make a contribution to his own keep.  How do you feel about it Love?’

‘Oh Aunt Dora, I couldn’t let you do that.  They can be quite a handful.  They can really.  How would you cope with them
; and what about Uncle Albert?’

‘Albert has agreed that it’s the least we can do for Maggie.  She would expect us to offer. 
And you know that I love them, as if they were my own, don’t you?’

‘Aunt Dora, you’re so good to us, and we love you too.  If you’re sure, then I can keep my job and give you my wages every month, like I did for Mother’.

‘No, definitely not; we want you to keep your wage for yourself.  You’ve gone without it for long enough because you Mam needed it.  But we’re not bad off, you know, and we would like it this way.  Will that be alright love?’

Ellie kissed Aunt Dora on the cheek and said, ‘I don’t know how to thank you for this.  You’re sure, aren’t you?’

‘Course I’m sure, ‘you ninny’.  Now go on and tell the lads’.  She smiled, as she watched the boy’s faces light up, and it made her feel better about everything.  Maggie would have liked what she had done.

In the quiet of that same evening, when the children were ready for bed and drinking down the last dregs of cocoa, Harry, looking a bit crestfallen, asked his Aunt, ‘has my
Mam gone to Jesus then Aunt Dora?’

Dora hugged him close and said, ‘yes love, she has’.

Harry’s thoughts turned to his pet mouse, which had died in the cold weather long ago, and wondered, for a moment.  Then decided
, no, they couldn’t have, could they?

If Maggie
was listening to Harry’s thoughts, she would be rolling about laughing by now.

Chapter
Eighteen

When all the furniture had been removed from the house, Ellie went upstairs, to make sure that everything was clean, and how her mother would have wanted it left.

When she entered the main bedroom, and looked at the space where the bed had stood, Ellie felt very emotional.  It was in this room that all her brothers were born.  She could remember Harry clearly, with his red face and loud cry, being bungled up in the drawer of the chest.  He cried continuous for twenty-four hours, or so it seemed, at the time.

Ellie closed her eyes and, once more, heard her mother’s voice. ‘For goodness sake, Ellie, put him in the drawer and close it up cause I don’t think I can stand much more of it’.

But of course her mother would never do anything to harm him.  After a while he settled down and remained a good baby, and Ellie still considered Harry, a good boy.

Oh but he says such funny things sometimes
’, she thought, now, as she lightly dusted the window bottom.  She looked at the cloth,
no signs of dust there
; the house was as she would have liked it.

She went down the twisting stairs, cloth in hand, and found no elusive specks of dirt, on her way.  Her eyes
travelled around the large kitchen, finally coming to rest on the fireplace.

‘The mo
st important thing in the room’, Ellie thought of her mother’s words and wanted to weep.

At this moment, without the flames of a good fire, no kettle boiling or pan simmering, the room looked quite forlorn.

She ran her fingers along the shining black surface and found that she was crying.  Never again would Maggie clean and polish this splendid piece of furniture.  The mantelpiece would never hold their candlesticks or their stocking at Christmas with their meagre presents.

Suddenly, Ellie could not stand it a moment more.  Quickly, she turned around and left, locking the door
behind her.

As she walked briskly down the street, she saw the
neighbours going about their business.  She shook her head.  Everything was just the same as if her mother was alive.
Didn’t they know that Maggie is dead?  How can they just go on with everyday things?

Of course, Ellie knew she was being silly.  People had to go on with their lives, even she herself.  She would have to go on making a living and, one day, she would make a home for herself and her brothers, although how she proposed to earn such money, she had no idea.

The boys soon settled down at Aunt Dora’s and told Ellie that they would be alright there, and Uncle Albert was, really, not so bad.

‘We have a garden now Ellie.  That’s where we play’, said Sam, ‘and Uncle Albert said we’re not to sell firewood any more cause we don’t need the money.  It’s a bit like being rich here’.

‘Oh, that’s nice Sam.  You like it here then, do you?’

‘Oh aye, it’s better than Canal Street.  It’s posh up here’.

He saw a hint of something in his sister’s expression, and quickly added, ‘I won’t forget ‘our Mam’ though.  I’d rather be with her Ellie, honest.  Even in a shed’.

There were tears in his eyes and he looked up at Ellie with pleading eyes, begging her understanding.

She hugged him to her and said, ‘come on now Sam, no crying.  You’ve cried enough.  Mam would want you to be happy and she will be glad you have a garden to play in, and so am I’.

Ellie went back to the big house that evening.  She had considered it her home for quite a while, and now, it really was ‘home’, for she had no other.

On her arrival, she was informed by Miss Maud, that she would not be expected to start work until Thursday’.  This meant that she would have tomorrow to herself.

She felt tired and weary, but smiled at William as he poured her a pot of tea.

‘Thank you William’, she said.  She couldn’t remember just when she had begun to address him by his Christian name.  Nobody ever passed comment on it, not even his wife.  It was as if they accepted it, now she was ‘upstairs staff’.

William saw through her brave smile and patted her on the arm.

‘Are you all right Ellie?  Are your brothers settled with their Aunt now?’

‘They’ll be fine, thank you William.  They are used to Aunt Dora and she spoils them a little.  I’m just glad it’s all over’, she said, but Ellie gave way and wept as William held her hands in his.

‘I miss her so much.  She was the best mother anyone could wish for and I want her back’, she sobbed.

William, who knew what it was to grieve so, watched helplessly, as she shook with sorrow.

‘Ellie, don’t try to stop the sadness, it needs to come out’.  He cradled her in his arms and rocked her to and fro.

Missus Blunt found them in this way when she came out of the pantry.  ‘You poor little lamb’, she cried, taking the girl from her husband.  William felt he must leave Ellie in the capable hands of his wife; after all, his concern may be misconstrued, by anyone other than Missus Blunt.  With a nod of his head to his wife, he went upstairs.

‘Come and sit here
dear’, said Rose, taking off Ellie’s cape from her shoulders and sitting her down by the fire. 

‘Have some of this in your tea.  It will do you good’.

She took a small bottle of Brandy from the cupboard, at the side of the fireplace, and poured some into Ellie’s cup.

‘It’s all right; it'll warm you up.  You’re all worn out, and no wonder, poor little mite’.

Ellie pulled a face as she tasted the tea, but it did warm her and make her feel a little better.  She sighed and relaxed in the large chair, slowly sipping the tea, tasting the sharpness of it.

‘I’m sorry to be a bother to you all.  It’s just that I feel so tired’.

Cook reassured her that she was no trouble at all and called Kate over to sit with her friend, while she, went on with kneading tomorrow’s bread.

Molly was also concerned and stopped work to see how Ellie was, and whispered, to Kate, ‘is she feeling better Kate?’

Spotting the bottle, nearby, she poured a good measure into Ellie’s pot, saying, ‘this will do her more good than anything else, just now, it’ll help her to sleep’.  She put the Brandy back where she had found it.

Ellie opened her eyes, to see Kate there, ‘Oh, I must have dropped off to sleep for a minute.  I should really go to bed’.

‘Yes, I think you should Ellie.  You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep’.

Kate picked up the cup, ‘here, finish your tea before you go’.

Ellie drank the tea, in one go.  She really didn’t like the taste, at all and she could swear that it tasted stronger.

Her legs felt heavy as she stood up.

‘I must call on Miss Vicky before I retire, so I had better make my way up there, now.  I will see you, in our room later, Kate.  That is if I am awake still.  Good night Kate.  Good night Missus Blunt’.

As she went up the main stairs, she felt light headed and very strange.  She decided that the drink did not agree with her.  But if it made her mind ‘fuzzy’, so much the better.  She didn’t even want to think tonight.

Ellie got as far as the Master’s study when, suddenly, she had a great need to sit down.  Her head was spinning and she felt strangely unsteady.

‘Oh, how have I come to this?’ she thought, and began to weep once more.  She felt far from well.  The loss of her mother weighed heavily upon her.  She sat for a moment on a chair, outside the study and rested her head in her hands.

Richard, who had been socializing with his boisterous friends, came upon Ellie, in the hallway.

‘What are you doing here Ellie?  I didn’t think you were coming back so soon’, he said, bending so as to see her face.

She said nothing but looked up at him, with a faraway look in her eyes.  He could see she was distressed and held out his arms to lift her.

‘Come Ellie.  Let me get you to your room.  I think you are unwell’.

‘I have been given some brandy and I think it has gone to my head.  I’m not used to alcohol but I'll be all right soon.  I just need a moment’.

‘Then rest in my Father’s study where you will not be disturbed by my rowdy friends.  In you go Ellie.  No one will bother you there.  I will come back later and make sure you get to your landing’.

‘If you’re sure it will be alright?’ she said, going through the door into the dark, room.  ‘Thank you Sir, it’s good of you’.

When he had left her, she gratefully sank into the over-stuffed chair, and instantly, fell into a deep sleep.

Ellie was dreaming.  She could feel a hand, touching her face.  It was a soft touch and she was enjoying the closeness of it.  Lips were caressing her own and a damp warmth filled her mouth.

Oh yes.  This is what I am missing in my life.  Someone to share intimate moments with.  Someone to be close to.  Someone to love,
she thought, as the warm feeling progressed, from her mouth into her ‘innermost self’.  Oh how wonderful she felt. 

In the next instant, she knew that she was not experiencing a dream.  She opened her eyes and Richard, his face close to hers; softly kissed her throat, leaving a trail of dampness from her, still tingling, mouth.

Ellie knew, in her innocent heart, that she should stop this at once, but she knew without doubt, that she would not do so.  Even though the smell of drink was strong upon his breath, this was Richard, and tonight, if never again, she wanted his touch.

Her arms reached up, encircling his neck, and she whispered his name, ‘Richard, oh Richard’.

His heart raced as she returned his kiss and he heard her say his name.  ‘Ellie, my darling, do you know how I have longed to hold you in my arms and caress your beautiful body?’

He gently eased her to the floor and, with skilled hands, unbuttoned the front of her dress, slipping his hand deep into her bodice and onto her warm breast.

He took in his breath, sharply, as he fondled the roundness of her.

‘My love
my Ellie, how I love you’.

She felt his ‘proud body’ pressing against her, with a passion she had never experienced and never knew existed.  She moaned as his hand moved under her petticoat, his fingers exploring her body. 

Suddenly, he was thrusting into her with pulsating fury, saying her name over and over.  She felt a great, undulating wave of moist, trembling warmth enveloping her whole being. 

Ellie cried out, holding him to her, ‘Richard, I love you.  I love you’.  Their bodies, united as one, gasping and moving together, in their mutual need.

As their passion subsided, they fell back exhausted and lay there together, on the carpet, for what seemed like an eternity.

Ellie was the first to speak, as she looked into his dark, handsome face, and ran her finger down the length of his chest.

‘I feel so wonderful Richard.  I never knew there were such a wondrous feelings and it was all the more blissful, having shared it with you’.  She paused, and then added, ‘I will always remember this night with you Richard, and the love we have shared.  I hope you will too’.

Richard kissed her lips again, and again, ‘Oh I will my Darling.  I will’.  His words were said with sincerity if a little ‘slurred’.

‘I really must go Richard.  I don’t want to be found here’.

‘No my Darling
, that would never do.  You go now and I will see you tomorrow’.

He kissed her once more, then whispered, lovingly, ‘thank you Ellie.  I can’t say how much this has meant to me.  I love you with all my heart and we will find a way to be together’.

She dressed quickly and, with a parting kiss, hurriedly left the room and made her way to her bed, where she closed her eyes and dreamed of Maggie, wagging her finger in her face. 

In the early hours, she awoke with a start but failed to remember the dream.  What she
did
remember was Richard and the wonderful experience of the night before and her heart rejoiced.

Ellie awoke early, as Kate was about to go down for breakfast.

‘I’ll see you downstairs, Ellie.  Don’t be too long or I will have started work and I’d like to chat to you before then’, she said, as she went through the door.

‘I’ll be along in five minutes Kate’, Ellie called, slipping her arms through the sleeves of her best dress.  She would wait in the garden and catch Richard before he went to the mill.  He usually left alone, at seven thirty, his father and James leaving the house at eight.

Thinking about him, she could almost feel, again, his body, heavy upon her, and she sighed with joy.  She also felt a little guilty, as she had been brought up to respect herself and to save her virginity for ‘that special man’ who would come along one day.  She had no excuse.  She had been at a low ebb but had welcomed Richard’s advances willingly.  Last night she had a need to be loved and Richard had filled that need.

She loved him with all her heart and she knew, without doubt, that he was that special someone.  Somehow she had always known, since the day she had served him breakfast and he had been so horrible to her.