The Wonder of Your Love (A Land of Canaan Novel) (6 page)

She laid the warm washrag across her face as she thought about what Martha said.
I am happy
. She was happy about being a mother and thankful that the Lord had blessed her with Jonas. But she wasn’t fulfilled. And it was no mystery to her as to why. Her relationship with the Lord had changed since Ivan’s death. She just couldn’t understand why everything had to happen the way it did, and through no rhyme or reason could she understand what God’s plan for her might be. She’d been taught her entire life not to question the Lord’s will, and the more she did so . . . the further away she felt from Him.

After allowing herself another fifteen minutes of self-pity, Katie Ann pulled herself from the tub, dressed in a clean blue dress, and went into the living room. It was too early to change into her nightclothes and go to bed. Jonas would be up for another feeding, plus she didn’t want to get caught in her nightclothes if Lillian or Samuel came calling after the wedding.

She sat down on the couch, crossed her legs, and opened up a book she’d bought in town about being a new mother.
That is all I need to concentrate on . . . being the best mother I can to Jonas
.

S
ATURDAY MORNING
, K
ATIE
Ann bundled up Jonas and herself and walked next door to her sister-in-law’s house. She knew Lillian would be baking, and Katie Ann often visited with her this time on Saturdays.

She lifted her tall black boots and picked her way carefully across the snow as she toted Jonas in his carrier. She was thankful to have gotten more sleep the past two nights. Thursday night after the wedding she’d been exhausted, and both she and Jonas had slept much better. She’d only gotten up once to feed him and once to soothe his gassy tummy by using Eli’s technique with the baby oil, which had worked— and twice she’d tiptoed into his room to make sure he was breathing. Friday she’d gone back to help Vera with cleanup, and again she and Jonas had gone to bed early and followed the same routine as the night before.

Martha had overstepped her bounds by inviting Eli to supper, but she’d worry about that later. This morning she needed to talk to Lillian about something else. As she eased up the porch steps to the old farmhouse, she marveled at all of Lillian and Samuel’s hard work. In a year they’d taken this run-down old house with no bathroom, no insulation, in need of an entire overhaul, and turned it into a beautiful home. She knocked on the door.

“Hi,
Aenti
Katie Ann.”

Katie Ann smiled at her youngest niece, Elizabeth. The five-year-old was Jonas’s biggest fan and loved to keep him company while Katie Ann chatted with Lillian.

“Hello, Elizabeth.” Katie Ann moved past the little girl and into the living room. “Is your
mamm
in the kitchen?”

“
Ya
. She’s making peanut blossoms!” Elizabeth bounced on her toes.

Katie Ann let out an exaggerated gasp. “Really! That’s special, Elizabeth. We usually make those only at Christmastime.”

“I know, I know!”

Katie Ann followed Elizabeth across the living room and into the spacious kitchen. Katie Ann recalled the chipping blue paint on the cabinets when Lillian and Samuel had first moved in, now shimmering with shiny white paint and gold knobs that bordered on being fancy . . . but Lillian said she deserved the knobs after having to live in that house prior to the overhaul.

Lillian hadn’t always been Amish. She’d married Ivan’s brother, Samuel, eight years ago and converted. Most of the time, you’d never know that she hadn’t been Amish her entire life, but occasionally she’d bend a certain rule based on her own way of thinking, and no one faulted her for it. Lillian was bubbly, happy, and kindhearted, and Katie Ann didn’t know of a soul who didn’t adore her.

“You are just in time for peanut blossoms,” Lillian announced.

Lillian’s older daughter, Anna, was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table mashing chocolate kisses on top of the warm peanut butter cookies. “
Guder mariye
,
Aenti
Katie Ann.”

Katie Ann placed Jonas’s carrier on the table. “
Guder mariye
to you, too, Anna.”

She was glad to hear Anna using their native dialect this morning. She’d worried about the girls when they were younger, because they didn’t know much Pennsylvania
Deitsch
. Normally, children didn’t learn English until they started school, but since English was Lillian’s native language, she’d raised the girls by speaking that to them. Samuel said it didn’t matter what language they spoke, only the meaning behind the words they said. And Elizabeth and Anna were good girls. Lillian and Samuel were doing a fine job with them. Katie Ann hoped she would do as well with Jonas.

Lillian wiped her hands on her apron, approached the table, and leaned down to kiss Jonas on the forehead. “Hello, my precious Jonas.”

Lillian looked up, and Katie Ann knew what she was going to say. She said it daily, and it had just become a “thing” between the women.

“Have I told you how glad I am that you named this baby Jonas?”

Anna spoke up before Katie Ann had a chance to. “
Mamm!
You say that all the time.”

Lillian cupped her daughter’s chin. “I know I do, and you’d know why if you had known your great-grandpa Jonas. The best man who ever lived, I believe.”

“I thought
Daed
was the best man who ever lived,” Elizabeth said.

Lillian smiled. “Well, besides your
daed
!”

Katie Ann sat down beside Anna. “So what’s the occasion? Why are you making peanut blossoms today?”

Lillian walked to the stove and pulled out a fresh batch of cookies. Without turning around she said, “Whatever do you mean?”

Katie Ann heard the playfulness in Lillian’s tone. “
Ach
, so there
is
a reason.”

Elizabeth skipped to Katie Ann’s side. “Martha asked
Mamm
to make them to have tonight for your date.”

Katie Ann stiffened. She took a deep breath. “Elizabeth, I don’t have a date tonight. Martha is just having a friend over to have supper with us.”

“That’s not what
Mamm
said. She said—”

“Elizabeth!” Lillian spun around. “Take your sister and go play in your room for a while so I can visit with
Aenti
Katie Ann.” She took a step forward. “Scoot now. After I chat with your
aenti
, you can both come back downstairs and have a double helping of cookies.”

Both girls nodded, then scurried upstairs. Katie Ann waited until they were out of earshot before she spoke. “Lillian . . .”

“
Ya
, dear sister-in-law.” Lillian grinned from ear to ear as she eased into a chair beside Katie Ann.

Katie Ann stifled a grin. She needed Lillian to understand that there was no chance of courtship with Eli Detweiler. “This is not a date tonight, but I am well aware that everyone is trying to play matchmaker between me and Eli.” She shrugged. “I suppose in some ways that makes sense. We are both alone, without spouses. But . . .” She held up one finger. “That does not mean that we are anything alike. And besides, Lillian, I am still mourning Ivan.”

Lillian reached over and patted Katie Ann’s hand. “I know, sweetie.” Lillian quickly sat taller and grinned. “But he sure is handsome, and Vera said Elam’s cousin would be a great catch. Did you know his wife died seventeen years ago and he raised his six children alone since then?”

Katie Ann stiffened again. “
Ya
. I know. And he is very proud of his accomplishments.”

Lillian put her elbows on the table and laid her chin in her hands. She spoke softly. “Don’t you think he should be a tad bit proud?”

“I don’t mean to sound harsh, Lillian. I’m sure he did a wonderful job, but I’m not ready to date anyone, and if I was, I don’t think it would be Eli.”

“I wouldn’t rule him out so quickly,
mei
sister.”

Katie Ann waved her hand in the air. “Never mind about Eli. I need to talk to you about something else.”

Lillian’s eyes widened. “What is it?”

Katie Ann took a deep breath. “It’s about Lucy Turner.”

Lillian grimaced. “What about her?”

“She sent me a letter a couple of weeks ago.” Katie Ann watched Lillian’s left eyebrow lift. “And she is coming to visit me.”

“What
for
?” Lillian placed her palms flat on the table. “She doesn’t need to come here for anything. I’d like to get my hands on that woman and—”

“Lillian!”

“I know, I know. It’s not our way. But I’d still like to rough her up a bit.” It was endearing the way Lillian had always been protective of Katie Ann, even if sometimes her old
Englisch
ways rose to the surface. “Did she say in the letter why she’s coming?”

“To discuss an urgent matter.” Katie Ann shrugged. “I have no idea what could be so pressing. And, Lillian . . . I haven’t told anyone about the letter. Not even Martha.”

“Can’t blame you there. Martha would camp out at your house, and I wouldn’t put it past her to follow through and take that—that
woman
—to the woodshed for a
gut
licking!”

They were both quiet for a moment as Jonas squirmed, but he quickly grew still, sleeping soundly.

“Anyway, it’s just bothering me. I don’t want Lucy coming here, but I’m so curious about why she’d even want to.”

“It’s bound to be driving you crazy.”

Katie Ann sniffed. “Lillian, is something burning?”

“
Ach! Mei
cookies!” She jumped up, and Katie Ann waited while she pulled a fresh batch of cookies from the oven and set them on a cooling rack. “There, that was the last batch,” she said as she sat back down. “Wow. You have a lot to think about. First the letter from Lucy, and now your
date
tonight.”

“Lillian, what did I say?” Katie Ann shook her head. “I’m sorry to disappoint everyone, but nothing is going to develop between me and Eli.”

“We shall see.”

Katie Ann loved to be around Lillian. Her sister-in-law was always cheerful and happy. She recalled what Martha had said about Eli.
“He smiles a lot, Katie Ann. He’s happy.”

Well, good for Eli Detweiler. I’m happy too
.

“Do you think you could watch Jonas for a few minutes?” Katie Ann leaned over her baby, who was still sleeping soundly. “I want to carry a few logs to the
haus
.”

Lillian put her hands on her hips. “I’m always ready to watch my little nephew, but you should let Samuel haul that wood for you.”

Katie Ann waved a hand at Lillian. “
Nee
, I will do it. I can use the exercise, and besides, Samuel probably feels like he has two
fraas
half the time, the way he’s always doing extra chores for me.”

“He loves you, Katie Ann. He doesn’t mind at all.”

“He’s a
gut
man, but I need to stretch my legs.” She kissed Jonas on the forehead as she stood up. “I’ll be back shortly. I just want to make sure we have plenty of logs tonight.”

“
Ya
, for sure.” Lillian winked. “For your
date
.”

Katie Ann playfully swatted Lillian before she left the room through the door in the kitchen.

Pulling the barn door open, she was surprised to see that Samuel had split even more wood since the last time she was out here, and her brother-in-law made sure the logs were small enough that both she and Lillian could carry them inside. Katie Ann liked to keep several in her rack by the fireplace and a few more in her small mudroom at the back of the house. She lifted two logs, cradling them in front of her, and turned to leave, but was startled by a movement to her left. The three horses didn’t seem bothered, nor did the laying hens or four pigs farther down the way. She stood perfectly still and silently prayed that it wasn’t a skunk.

She was getting ready to head out when she heard a tiny cry from the far corner of the barn, back behind where the shovels leaned in the corner. She eased the logs onto Samuel’s workbench, then headed toward the pitiful meow.

“Hello,” she said softly as she reached her hand out toward a small black cat. The little fellow cowered back even farther against the wall, his fur standing on end and his ears pulled back as if taped to his head. “It’s all right.” She squatted down until she was at eye level with the animal. Poor thing was shivering.