The Worst Romance Novel Ever Written (43 page)

“
I don’t know what to say to him, Mama.”

“
Oh, puh-lease!”

Gloria closed her eyes and tried to replay the conversation she thought she’d have one day with Paul. “Where have you been, Paul?”

“
Out gallivanting.”

“
Mama.”

“
That’s what I been doing, Gloria. I have been in South America and Africa digging up the dead.”

“
Okay, Paul, that night we, um, we—”

“
Did the nasty. Right. What about it?”

Gloria jumped off the bed. “Mama, he wouldn’t say that.”

“
Right. He’d probably say, ‘We did ze nah-
stee
.’”

Gloria stood at the window. “Well, I had your baby, um, Paul, and I’ve been raising her for five years without you. It’s been hard at times, and, well, it’s time you met your daughter.”

“
Now we’re getting somewhere,” Marion said. “Is she smart like me?”

Gloria nodded. “She’s a lot like you, Paul. She’s really into history and archaeology, and I haven’t told her a thing about you.”

“
Why not? I am ze great Frenchman!”

“
I never thought we’d ever see you again,” Gloria said. “I mean, we had one night together. It was just a fling, no strings attached. I didn’t mean to get pregnant, but I did. I don’t expect you to just … jump into our lives and play daddy with Angel. I’ll leave that up to you.” She turned from the window. “But understand, Paul, that if you decide to meet your daughter, you have to be her daddy for the rest of your life. There’s no turning back. You can’t just run out on her again. You have to stick around and get to know her. You owe her that. I don’t care if you and I, um …” She looked at Marion. “Something like that.”

Marion nodded slowly. “Five years is a long time to think about something, huh?”

Gloria nodded.

“
So you’re going to talk him to death first, and if he’s agreeable, you’ll let him meet his daughter.”

“
Right.”

“
And if he isn’t agreeable?”

Gloria sighed. “Did he seem eager to see me?”

“
Yes.”

“
I doubt he won’t be agreeable then.” Gloria’s hands started to sweat. “Once he meets Angel, he’ll, um, he’ll just have to stick around.”

Marion moaned. “I just don’t understand why you have to make this so difficult. Invite him over to meet his daughter. Tonight. You’re taking another day off, aren’t you?”

Gloria nodded. She had taken several shifts off since …
Since I let Johnny go.
“Oh, I don’t know about tonight, I mean, Johnny might call …”
I hope he calls.

“
Johnny isn’t calling,” Marion said. “It’s been a month, Gloria.”

Longest month of my life.
“You could order some pizza.”

“
Or you could.”

But I’m afraid to.
“He might not come.”

“
It’s Johnny’s job. He has to.”

“
Or Johnny might just drop over, right? What would that look like if Paul were here in the house?”

At least she misses Johnny,
Marion thought.
That’s a good sign. But thirty days with no visit has to tell her he’s not liable to just drop over.
“Johnny is an intelligent man, Gloria. If he should by some miracle drop by, he’ll see it for what it is. Angel’s daddy is back. It’s a fact. Either he’ll get used to the idea or he won’t. And remember, Johnny didn’t walk out of here because Paul was back in the picture.”

“
No.” Gloria sat on the bed. “No, he didn’t.”

“
You have been reconsidering what you said to Johnny that night, haven’t you?”

I hate this small house.
“Yes.”

“
Sorry you said it?”

Gloria nodded. “I feel something strong for him, but—”

“
It’s love,” Marion interrupted. “That’s what you’re feeling, Gloria. You miss him when he’s gone. You miss his hands, his eyes, even his creepy ear hair. You even miss the blue smoke that spews from his car and fogs up our windows. You miss everything about him, and that’s what love is. Why you think I still talk to Nathan? Man’s been gone fifteen years, but I ain’t stopped loving him. When you miss a man and can’t think of anything else, you love him.”

“
It’s been a month, though,” Gloria said. “Johnny won’t answer that stupid cell phone or his home phone, and only Hector ever answers the phone at Señor Pizza.”

“
You could have already taken the bus to visit him.”

Gloria shook her head. “I didn’t want to go over there and have him reject me.”

Marion sighed. “He wouldn’t have done that. He didn’t reject you in the first place, right?” She sighed again. “And I don’t know why you haven’t broken down and gotten your own car by now. You have enough in savings, don’t you?”

“
That money is for emergencies, Mama. My health benefits aren’t that great, and if anything happens to you or to Angel—”

“
This isn’t an emergency?” Marion interrupted. “Child, do you fully appreciate what’s happening? Angel’s daddy is back and you are in love with Johnny, who was probably going to ask you to marry him, and you played that stupid ‘just move in so I’ll know’ game.”

“
How do you know he was going to ask me to marry him?”

Oops. I talk too much sometimes.
“I gave him my blessing is how.”

“
When?”

“
Earlier that night. And now Angel’s daddy is back to meet his daughter. I just know Angel is going to connect with Paul. They speak the same language, you know? And on top of that, you have been one whiny wench for the past month.”

“
I have not!”

“
You’re whining now.”

“
No I’m—” Gloria shut her mouth. “Okay, I’m whining a little. What’s wrong with me?”

Marion smiled. “Girl, you’re going through withdrawal.”

“
Huh?”

It is so hard to know everything.
“You need your Johnny fix, Gloria. You’re irritable, you’re sleeping all the time and crying into your pillow, and you’re eating Rolaids like candy.” Marion squinted. “Why are you sweating, Gloria?”

I am? Geez. I am.
“I’m nervous.”
This isn’t happening. Paul just … showing up at this time is a coincidence only a bad romance novel would have. My life is starting to read like Johnny’s ridiculous novella!
“I’m … I’m going back to bed, Mama.”

“
And that’s how you’re going to solve your problems?”

“
You want me to think it through, right?” Gloria asked. “I can’t think because I haven’t been sleeping, so I’m going into my room, shutting the door, and thinking this through after I get some sleep.”

After Gloria left, Marion sat up in bed and looked at the ceiling.
Nathan, I know you been watching this little drama. Better than TV, huh? We have a granddaughter who got pregnant by her first lover, who doesn’t know he’s a daddy yet, and he’s suddenly at our door after five years of playing in the dirt. Johnny may be out of the picture, but he is still on Gloria’s mind. My great-granddaughter has never known her father, and she has to meet him, long hair and all, and soon.

Marion sighed.

Nathan, I have to do something about all this. I know, I know, I meddle too much. But … it has to be done.

We’re having pizza and drama tonight, oh yes.

I think I’ll get my hair done today at First Impressions. I want to look nice for the fireworks. And all it will take is two short, sweet phone calls.

Who says life can’t turn on a dime?

Oh yeah. Phone calls cost more than a dime now. Better bring some quarters to First Impressions. Maybe someone will let me borrow her cell phone …

30

“
Mama, where’s Grandma?”

Gloria looked at Angel standing beside her nightstand.
School’s out already? I’ve been asleep for five hours? What’s happening to me?
“Isn’t she downstairs?”

Angel shook her head. “No.”

Probably off to meddle in my affairs. Now there’s a loaded word. Affairs.
Gloria slipped out of bed. “Did she leave a note?”

“
No.”

“
I’m sure she’ll be back in time for dinner. What should we fix?”

“
Can’t we go out to eat tonight?” Angel asked.

This is new.
“Where would you like to eat?”

Angel looked away. “McDonalds.”

“
McDonalds?” Gloria straightened her bed, fluffing her pillow. “Really?”

Angel nodded. “I want to live a little.”

Where’s this coming from?
“Okay.”

“
And can we go to Toys ‘R Us right now?”

Gloria had to sit.
She wants to go to a toy store?
“What for?”

“
To get another puzzle,” Angel said.

My baby girl misses Johnny, too? I didn’t even think she liked him. Is this Angel’s version of withdrawal?
“Sure. We’ll get another puzzle.”

Angel smiled. “I need a bath first. I got all sweaty at recess today.”

And now she wants to take a bath, and after school?
“Just … leave me some hot water, okay?”

“
I’ll take a shower then.” Angel skipped out of the room.

She skipped.
“Wow,” Gloria whispered. “Who replaced my child while I was sleeping?”

Gloria threw on a sweatshirt and went downstairs, walking into the kitchen and freezing. There were dishes in the sink.
Mama gone, purse gone, dishes in the sink … The world must be ending.

She looked at the blank message board on the fridge.
Mama must have been in a hurry. She always leaves a note.
She opened the fridge and saw a note taped to the milk. “Drink lots of milk for your stomach,” Gloria said, reading the note. “Be back soon.” She crumpled up the note and poured herself a tall glass of milk. “Only I might not be here when you return,” Gloria whispered. “I’m going shopping with my daughter at
her
request.”

As water began to run upstairs, Gloria looked at the phone.

I have two men’s phone numbers to call for the first time in my life, and one of them is not going to like what I have to tell him.
She dialed Johnny’s cell phone and heard the familiar, “This AT and T customer’s number is not in service at this time …” She dialed his apartment phone and let it ring thirty-four times.
And he has no voice mail on either phone, the jerk! Maybe he lost his charger? No. He’s shutting me out. Fine. I can handle it.

No I can’t, because I don’t want to wait another five years for a man to come to my door.

She went upstairs and found Paul’s card on her nightstand, returning to the kitchen and picking up the phone.
Cell, apartment, or office?
She dialed Paul’s office phone, hoping he wouldn’t answer. She only wanted to hear his voice.

“
This is the office of Dr. Paul Leffel, associate professor of geography. I am sorry I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I will return your call.”

Gloria hung up and gulped the rest of her milk.
Paul and his sexy voice are back, all right. Why is this happening now? And why to me? I live a quarter century without any kind of romantic drama, and suddenly I’m the center of the romance universe.

Angel appeared in the doorway, dressed and ready to go. “Mama, why aren’t you ready?”

“
That was a quick shower.” She sniffed Angel. “Did you use any soap?”