Sometimes a new writing ritual comes to you, out of the blue, inspired by current family events. For example, when my son was particularly discouraged over a perceived failure, I sat down and wrote a “Jack is . . .” list, itemizing all the qualities that make him especially lovable, capable, and successful. I read it to him, and then posted it in his room. As the days and weeks passed, I added more items to the list. And when he was able to identify a specific admirable quality of his own, he might suggest to me, “You should add that to ‘the list’!” I often hear him reading the list to himself, especially when he goes to his room for some “thinking time” after a frustration or indiscretion. This is a small ritual that is a big reminder to us to label and record good, empowering feelings in writing, so they can be easily referred to when the going gets tough.
Simple yet sincere writing rituals can be slipped into your days with little extra effort. And just think, the rituals you pass on or invent today may become the traditions that your children will pass on to their own children tomorrow.
Here are some ideas for your own writing rituals:
writing birthday letters
creating a family newsletter to send out with holiday cards
keeping a journal
crafting a family memory book or scrapbook
writing notes to be opened each day a parent is away on a trip
putting a sign on a child’s door on a special day
making a certificate or award to commemorate an accomplishment
writing a “My kid is . . .” list
Beyond Words
Even more important than our words, our actions as parents speak volumes. Budding writers look to our responses in their quest to be understood. With only a little more effort than it takes to hang a page on the refrigerator, we can display, preserve, share, and even publish our children’s writing in ways that convey its great value. And (trust me on this) your kids will not only notice, they’ll remember it forever.
Ideas for how to make your child feel like a full-fledged author can range from the simple to the spectacular. I once saw a musician on a reality show who brought his son to a tattoo parlor with him. The child wrote on his father’s body using a magic marker, and his handwriting was turned into a one-of-a-kind tattoo for his dad. Totally extreme, I know.
Thankfully, there are many more accessible (and less painful) ways to honor your child’s writing. Whatever you choose, the idea is to make young writers feel a little bit like rock stars themselves.
Display
Instead of adorning the walls of your home exclusively with famous artists’ prints, try decorating with some “print” instead. My mom’s got this one covered. There are little snippets of our writing framed around her house. Not only must it warm her heart to read and reread things like my second-grade composition about how well she took care of me on sick days, but it always gave me a kick to see it hanging there on the wall, for all the world to see. It made me feel as if my words mattered. For a child, that is a pretty powerful feeling. One that can be instrumental in motivating a child to write again and again.
How about a high-tech display of pride? A piece of your child’s writing can make for an inspiring background or a screen saver for your computer.
Another way to display your child’s writing is by being a walking billboard. (No, please don’t put on one of those giant wearable sandwich signs. Your kid would never forgive you.) Simply print a piece of your child’s writing onto iron-on transfer paper (see the
resources
section at the end of the book) and use it to embellish a T-shirt, tote bag, or baseball cap. When a boy that I had been working with learned to sign his name in cursive, I made him a custom logo T-shirt featuring his new-and-improved autograph. (It became his new signature T.)
Not extreme enough for you? I just remembered, you can turn your child’s writing into a temporary tattoo using your own printer and specially formulated paper (see the
resources
section), an idea that’s definitely all gain and no pain.
Share
Another wonderful way to honor your children’s writing is by sharing it with others. You can make a piece of your child’s writing into greeting cards simply by doing a little cutting and pasting. You can frame a piece of writing as a gift for a special relative or friend. You can use the iron-on transfer technique I mentioned to make all sorts of wearable gifts. You can make a keepsake-worthy gift by decorating a plain wooden box with a piece of your child’s writing and sealing it with a clear decoupage medium such as Mod Podge; it will last for years. Another idea is to embellish the cover of a blank journal with a piece of your child’s writing, making a gift that is both sentimental and useful. (Oh, and maybe it goes without saying, but these all make A+ teacher gifts as well.)
DIY:
Illuminated ManuscriptWhen you admire your children’s bright ideas too much to file them away out of sight, try this cool candle-making project.
MATERIALS
blank paper
cylinder-shaped votive candleholder
pencil
scissors
computer and printer
translucent vellum printer paper
votive candle or tea light (for the flame phobic, LED battery-powered tea lights are an option)
double-stick tape
HOW-TO
1. Wrap a length of paper around a votive candleholder. Trim the paper so that the ends overlap approximately one inch. Using a pencil, trace along the top edge of the candleholder. Cut the paper along your line so that it is flush with the top of the candleholder. This will create a template.
2. Scan or photocopy a piece of your child’s writing onto blank paper first. Adjust the size of the image to fit your template by reducing or enlarging it.
3. When you are happy with the size, print the image onto vellum printer paper following any specific printing instructions on the paper’s package.
4. After the ink has dried (it takes longer for ink to dry on vellum than on regular paper), line up your candleholder template on the vellum paper, trace around it with a pencil, and cut out the vellum.
5. Wrap the vellum around your votive candleholder. Secure it at the seam, where the ends overlap, with double-stick tape.
6. When you’re in the mood to feel “enlightened” by your child’s words (or if you are looking for a heartfelt gift idea), insert a candle and enjoy.
If you are particularly creative you could turn a piece of writing into a lasting memento by embroidering it onto cloth. Then you could frame it, make into a pillow, or incorporate it into a quilt. In the olden days, this was the idea behind the samplers that became both family treasure and valuable folk art. My needlework skills aren’t quite there yet, but maybe someday! (Although this one might be difficult to give away as a gift once complete. For me, it might be more of a
keep
sake.)
Preserve
You don’t have to work for the Library of Congress or the Smithsonian to be an archivist. You just have to be a parent. Take myself, for example. I’m a keeper. I’ve saved just about every piece of paper my kids have made a mark on. Someday, I’m sure I’ll weed through it. For now, those pages document our journey along the road to writing. To me, they’re priceless papers.
So how do you organize the keeping? Use simple systems.
File:
Filing is probably the easiest method of keeping papers. Just slip the pages you want to save into a file folder. It’s easy to manage in the moment, easy to flip through and find something later on.
Box:
Repurpose an empty shirt box, unused pizza box, or oversized shoebox into an archival box. Toss in your children’s pages without any additional fuss as they accumulate. Once or twice a year, sort through the stack, removing anything you can bear to part with.
Binder:
We use a lot of three-ring binders with sheet protectors around here. It’s really the perfect solution for keeping drawings, pages of a story, lists, poems, and other writing all together and ready to be flipped through at any time. It’s easy, organized, and very functional.
Digital archive:
Are you inundated with paper pileup? Put technology on your side. Simply scan what you want to store, and save it on your computer. Then toss the hard copies guilt-free.
Scrapbook:
Create a scrapbook devoted to your kids’ writing, or incorporate their handwritten snippets and stories in more traditional scrapbook layouts.
Bound book:
These days, the opportunities to self-publish are plentiful (some of these sites are listed in the resources section at the end of the book). The process has become very user-friendly and the product is quite impressive. And remember, all the photo book-making sites (see the
resources
section) can also accommodate uploading scanned images of your child’s writing. So when you have collected some words or stories worth saving forever in a high-quality medium, what could be better than a bound book?
Publish
Quite possibly, the ultimate affirmation for a young writer (or any writer, for that matter) is getting published. There are dozens of websites, a handful of print magazines, and a few anthologies that accept and publish submissions from young writers. (I’ve listed a few publishing opportunities for children in the resources section at the end of the book.)
Certainly there is a strong sense of satisfaction when you pull a publication off a newsstand or a book off a shelf and see your words in print. But it goes beyond that. Being published can have a profound effect on a young writer’s self-esteem. Writers need readers. When young writers realize they can connect to a wider audience, they begin to realize the far-reaching power of the written word.
Note to Self
In short, I will sum up what I’ve seen parents do that has worked and that I am trying my best to emulate in my own home. Consider it a concise yet vigorous manifesto for raising a writer.
Provide support. Create opportunities to write. Admire and appreciate.
Read every word
. Save, share, and show off writing samples. Equip a writing space. Keep necessary tools on hand. Let your kids catch you in the act of writing. Often. Write with your kids every day (even the small stuff matters). Every so often, say the words “once upon a time.” Don’t stop talking until you reach “the end.” Read, read, read. Together, read everything you can get your hands on, not just stories. Newspapers, magazines, correspondence, flyers, manuals, road signs, cereal boxes—whatever piques your child’s interest. If they write to you, write back. Write them love notes. Sign them with
X
s and
O
s. Carry a pencil and paper with you, wherever you go. Say, “That’s something worth writing about!” so often that your kids say it in their sleep.
What shouldn’t we do? Avoid editing our kids’ writing. Avoid it like the plague. Especially during the early stages of writing development, avoid correcting, critiquing, or changing their writing in any way. Unless they ask for specific help, stand back and give them some room to figure it out on their own before rushing in to save the day. Put the red pen away. There will be plenty of time for all that stuff once writing is well established. For now, our job is to raise kids who love to write. The best way to do that is to show them that we love their writing.
And in that spirit, I encourage you to enjoy the fifty-two activities that follow. Think of each one as a unique opportunity to invite the fun of writing into your home and the love of writing into your child’s life.
T
HE FIFTY-TWO
“Just Write” activities in the next section are writing activities that provide the just-right challenge for kids—they are motivating for children, requiring them to slightly stretch their skills, yet without being too difficult. You know you’re on the right track when kids get that “I can do it!” look on their faces. When children master something, everything changes. You can see it in their posture (they sit up a little taller), in their attention (they stick with it and want to do more, more, more!), and in their self-esteem (you know those “Hey! Look at me!” moments).
Each activity features four variations to help you achieve the just-right fit for your child. In addition, a few simple guidelines will set your kids up for success:
Mind the grasp:
If a child is using an inefficient grasp, you want to modify the tool (a smaller writing tool, such as a broken crayon, may help), modify the grasp (demonstrate an efficient grasp or provide a pencil picture, for example), or modify the activity (they may need to back up to a more basic variation). What you don’t want to do is reinforce an inefficient grasp by encouraging your child to keep writing. Remember the rule: don’t write until it’s right.
Pay attention to their attention:
If children rush through an activity or quickly lose interest, it may be too easy. If their attention wanders and they need constant refocusing, it may be too hard.
Fend off frustration:
Frustration is another sign that an activity is too difficult. Step in to help if you see signs of struggle.