The Wrong Lawyer (4 page)

After breakfast
Corbett went off to do some errands and I walked back to my place.

The two sisters
had been the most exciting things to hit our lives in a long time.

I sincerely hoped
that Linda didn’t change her mind and cancel our date. It would be lovely to
share my one-year retirement anniversary with her.

Early in the
afternoon the phone rang again.

“Hello,” I spoke
into the receiver.

“Hi, Tom; it’s
Linda Page from last night. I hope you don’t mind my calling you.”

“Not at all,
Linda; I’ve always been attracted to stalkers.”

That line evoked a
slightly nervous laugh from Linda who then remarked on my bizarre sense of
humor and commented that she sincerely hoped I was just joking.

“Sorry, but I
couldn’t resist a perfect straight line like that. I had breakfast out with
Corbett this morning and we were like schoolboys gushing over the great girls
we had just met.”

“Lynne and I did
exactly the same thing. She came over first thing this morning and we compared
notes. In fact, it was my sister who encouraged me to call you today. I was
wondering if you’d like to join me for a picnic on the waterfront.”

“Sure, that sounds
fantastic.”

We made
arrangements that I’d pick Linda up at four o’clock.

I did take care to
wear nice casual clothes, white pants and a black golf-style shirt with the
Binion’s Casino logo on the breast pocket.

Linda looked particularly
fetching in a multi-colored sun dress which somehow accentuated her lovely
little bum.

She asked me to
come in and meet her parents.

Mr. and Mrs.
Wright, or Lionel and Bernice as Linda introduced them, were not only reserved
but were just on the cusp of being downright impolite. There was an
unmistakable aroma of disapproval lurking just under the surface of their icy civility.

Linda and I packed
the picnic paraphernalia into my car and she seemed delighted with my
suggestion of taking the ferry over to Wolfe Island and finding a pretty spot
over there to sit and eat our supper.

“Your parents
didn’t seem very pleased about my showing up to take you out. What gives with
that?”

“Oh, Tom, I was
hoping you hadn’t noticed. I’m so sorry. Mom and Dad can be impossible. They’re
both extremely old fashioned and criticized me mercilessly when I told them
that I was going out on a date with a man I had met at the dance last night.”

“I assume they
believe that it’s too early for you to be out socializing.”

“Precisely; I
never said a bad word to them about Paul even though he wasn’t the easiest man
to live with. He got along marvelously with both my parents and to them it
seems as if we just had the funeral yesterday. They tore a strip off me today
for tarnishing his memory by throwing myself at the first man who happened
along. It was both embarrassing and infuriating at the same time.”

“Well, not to
worry, Linda. I’ll make sure you get home this evening before the old fogeys go
to bed. That should earn me a few brownie points with them. Perhaps it has
nothing to do with you at all. It could be that your folks are in fact
exceedingly wise and know that lawyers are the scum of the earth and can’t be
trusted with their gorgeous daughter.”

Linda chuckled.

“What are you
after, you devious little smooth talker?”

The ferry ride itself
was always a fun experience even though it only travelled in a straight line
from the mainland to the island. We got out of the car and watched the scenery
from the upper viewing deck.

Once on Wolfe Island
we drove around the zigzagging County Road 96 heading east until the very end
at Port Metcalf where we found a picnic table overlooking the St. Lawrence
River and stopped to eat.

Linda had packed
sandwiches and small salads to go along with soft drinks.

We chatted about
our past lives and careers and then Linda began probing about my marriage to
Marg.

“Do you regret
having been married?” she inquired.

“Not at all; the
marriage was fine for at least the first ten years until we began drifting
apart. By the time we finally split, neither of us enjoyed living together.
Despite the marriage eventually failing, I see the whole experience as an
integral part of my life.”

“Are you saying
that you’d do it all over again?”

“Sure, if I were
thirty years old. I certainly don’t regret not having children. Corbett and I
each thank our lucky stars that we managed to avoid kids. Tell me a bit about
your son.”

“Jeremy has always
been a handful, especially once he hit his teenage years. He lives in a
disgusting slummy apartment with a young woman I can’t stand. She’s heavily
into drugs and as a result, Jeremy is constantly broke and putting his hand out
for financial assistance. I’ve never had the heart to deny him and Paul always
spoiled our son rotten.”

“Does Jeremy
work?”

“At the moment he
works at a call center but it’s rare for him to keep the same job more than a
year or two. Don’t get me wrong. I love Jeremy completely but I deplore the
life he leads and the company he keeps. You seem like a very happy person, Tom.
Is there nothing about your past life that you regret?”

I thought about it
for a moment.

“There’s certainly
nothing about my career that I’d want to do differently. If I had my life to
live all over again, the things I do regret are a bit bizarre.”

“Give me some
examples.”

“Well, when I was
a kid I collected butterflies for various science projects. I used to chase
them down with a net, stick them in a jar of formaldehyde to kill them, and
then mount them on a display case. No one back then ever told me how obscenely
cruel and wrong it was to torture an innocent and beautiful life form. Now I
won’t even kill a fly or a spider. If any insect happens to find its way into
my apartment, I catch it and release it. I’m ashamed of how I once was so blind
to morality when I was younger.”

“That’s not at all
what I expected you to say,” Linda commented. “I guess I was asking more about
your past relationships.”

“I do harbor some
regrets about those,” I admitted. “There was a period of a few years in
university which I now refer to as my ‘asshole years’. I drank too much and was
often mean and gross with the ladies. If I had that part of my life to do all
over again, I wouldn’t have dated nearly as many girls and I certainly wouldn’t
have slept with most of them. Looking back at our immaturity can be troubling
sometimes. What if anything do you regret about your life up to now?”

Linda unexpectedly
heaved a huge sigh, paused for a long moment, and then confided her deep, dark
secret.

“I’ve never told
anyone this, not even Lynne, but I wish I hadn’t married Paul. It’s a terrible
thing to say and I feel incredibly guilty even thinking it now that he’s gone.”

“Thirty-one years
is a very long time to be married,” I mentioned.

“Unlike your
marriage, I can’t even honestly say that our relationship was rewarding even at
the beginning. I got pregnant with Jeremy a year after I was married and then
stayed with Paul only because we had a son together. I blame my weakness in not
leaving Paul with causing Jeremy’s life to be so aimless.”

“That strikes me
as taking on a load of personal guilt that may not even be related to Jeremy.”

“Even more
damning, I was secretly happy when Paul died. It’s an awful thing to say, but a
huge weight immediately lifted off my shoulders when the hospital called to say
that he had been brought in by ambulance but was dead on arrival.”

“Who called the
ambulance?”

“Paul was able to
call 911 but didn’t even have the courtesy to call me while he waited for help
to show up. That fact itself was so typical of how selfish he was. He coerced
me into giving up the teaching career I loved in order to help him with the
investigation business, and then he wouldn’t give me any responsibility other
than to answer the telephone. It was maddening and soul destroying. Now I find
myself angry at my own parents for never observing how poorly Paul treated me
even though it was my own fault for not telling them anything. There, I’ve
finally told someone. My secret is exposed. I’ve never even hinted a word of
this to Lynne. I’m so sorry for burdening you with my insecurities and anger.”

“I’m pleased that
you trust me enough to blurt out how you really feel about things. I’ve never
told anyone about my past sins either. Corbett simply wouldn’t understand why
such trivia really bothered me now. I get the impression that you do appreciate
my anxiety about my past behavior.”

Linda reached out
and squeezed my hand in sympathy. “I’m so glad that Lynne made me go to that
dance, Tom.”

“I feel exactly
the same, Linda. You’re so easy to talk to. It seems that we’ve become friends
already.”

There was no doubt
that Linda and I had truly connected on a personal level, and I was thrilled
with what was happening between us.

When we were on
the ferry returning to the mainland, Linda revealed that she didn’t want to be
taken home just yet and wondered if we could go back to my place for a while.

I made some coffee
and we sat on my sofa talking.

Then, right out of
the blue, Linda put her arms around my neck and kissed me. The sensation was exquisite
and we continued to kiss for the longest time, letting the sexual electricity
dart through our bodies.

I felt just like a
teenager again. The emotions were identical to those from so many years ago.

From time to time
we’d stop in order to talk about something, and then we’d be back sharing those
delicious sensual kisses.

Finally at eleven
o’clock I drove Linda home. We confirmed our date for Saturday. Linda was
driving to Ottawa on Monday morning and staying there all week in order to
empty her house of the remainder of its contents. The actual closing of her
house sale was taking place on Friday.

As I kissed her
goodnight, I expressed my wish that Linda would have a productive week.

The excitement in
my life was exploding and I felt ecstatic as I drove home.

My telephone rang
early on Monday morning again and it was Corbett as usual. At least this time I
was already awake.

“Where were you
last night? I called you several times around supper time but there was no answer.
I can’t understand why you won’t get yourself a damn answering machine.”

“I went on a
picnic with Linda to Wolfe Island.”

“Really; that’s
great. I was talking to Lynne on the phone last night and she said that she had
been pressing Linda to call you. Did you have a nice time?”

“It was fantastic.
Linda is extremely easy to talk to.”

“That’s good to
hear, Tom. Lynne and I are going out tonight as well as tomorrow. It seems that
you and I are both flirting with possible romance after all these years. Let’s
grab some breakfast somewhere and swap notes.”

Deciding where to
eat turned out to be a battle of wills.

Corbett knocked on
my door twenty minutes later.

“Let’s try the breakfast
buffet at that new waterfront place near the court house,” Jim suggested.

“Get real! I’m not
blowing twenty-five bucks on a stupid breakfast. We can eat at Molly’s Diner.”

“This is a
celebration, Kennedy. Loosen your damn purse strings for a change.”

“No meal with you
is a celebration. It’s always a bloody punishment. Save the overpriced buffet
for when you want to impress Lynne.”

We traded insults
for a minute or two until Corbett finally began to cave in.

“The parking
spaces at Molly’s are too small. I’m not risking having some careless cretin dent
the door of my vehicle,” he complained.

“No problem. We
can take my car.”

“That’s out of the
question. I’m not going to be seen in that shit-mobile.”

“You don’t have to
worry about that any longer, Corbett. I’ve got a paper bag you can pull over
your head. It’s even got eye holes for your driving comfort.”

“What’s the
catch?” he shot back.

“It’s got ‘POMPOUS
PRICK’ stamped on it in big red letters.”

“I guess I can
live with that since nobody is going to know it’s me.”

“So it’s settled
then; we’ll eat at Molly’s and take my car.”

We took the
elevator down to the underground parking level and Corbett tried to call my
bluff, but I was ready for him.

“I’m not stepping
into this monstrosity until I’ve got the disguise on,” Corbett insisted.

He obviously
thought I’d made up the bit about the paper bag, but I had been telling the
truth. I had created the little masterpiece shortly after the last time Corbett
had ridden with me and insulted the car.

I got the bag out
of the trunk and handed it to a shocked Corbett.

To my utter
annoyance, he put the damn thing over his head and climbed in the car.

It was about half
a mile to the diner, and I’m not sure which one of us actually won the battle
of wills.

Corbett seemed to
get a kick out of staring at other drivers, especially when we were stopped at
traffic lights. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed.

On the other hand,
I was uncomfortable with the entire ride, worried that the cops might spot us
and take us for a couple of bank robbers.

We did make it to
the diner without any serious incident and Corbett then made a point of
stepping out of the car first before he slowly and deliberately removed the bag
from his head.

When we got seated
and had placed our orders, I asked Corbett where he was taking Lynne tonight.

“She wants to see
the new play at the Limestone Playhouse.”

“I thought you
detested plays,” I pointed out.

“I do, but we’ve
got to keep these little beauties happy,” he retorted.

“This must be a
new record,” I teased. “You’re completely pussy-whipped before you’ve even had
your first date.”

“You should learn
to expand your plebian mind,” Corbett answered in a peeved tone of voice.

“Don’t lay the
blame on me, Corbett. You’re the one who has already given up control of the
relationship. It didn’t take Lynne long to let you know who will serve and who
will eat. I guess you’re right for once. She clearly is smarter than you.”

“Well, I really
like what I’ve discovered about Lynne so far. Besides being intelligent and
gorgeous, she’s also got her own money and no teenage or adult brats to worry about.
How did things go yesterday at the picnic?”

“Linda and I got
along really well, but her parents seemed to dislike me from the moment I was
introduced to them.”

“That probably
explains where Lynne got her brains. The parents must be quite perceptive to
disapprove of you right from the get-go. Lynne told me that Linda’s son is a
real loser. Did you meet him yesterday?”

“No, apparently he
lives in Ottawa with some drug addict.”

“I’m sure the kid
will like you just fine, Kennedy. He’ll view you as another potential meal
ticket. It’ll serve you right if he hits you up for a loan the first chance he
gets. Then you’ll see how difficult it is to say no when you know it’ll upset
your new flame. You’ll be smirking on the other side of your homely mug then.
I’m getting off easy just having to suffer through some boring artsy theatre
production.”

“I guess I’d
forgotten that women tend to come with loads of baggage,” I said. “I kind of
feel sorry for Linda. Since she’s living with her folks right now, it must be
tough listening to them harp on about it being too soon after her husband’s
death to be dating again.”

“Mark my words,
Kennedy, that’s bound to become a real issue. It looks like I picked the better
sister.”

“We paired off
like we should have, Jim. You and Lynne seem to have similar personalities. I
could tell from the moment she saw me at the dance that I wasn’t her cup of
tea. Linda on the other hand has a very similar outlook on things as I do, and
she’s great company. I had a fantastic time yesterday. Linda is back in Ottawa
until late on Friday sorting out her house sale and her husband’s estate. I’m
really looking forward to our date on Saturday.”

“See how it pays
to listen to me, Kennedy. You didn’t want to go to that dance on Saturday and I
had to practically drag you there. Now we’ve both got hot prospects in the
romance department.”

“I can’t argue
with you this time, Jim. At the moment we’re certainly two happy old lawyers.”