The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (363 page)

I heard the doorbell, so I put the journal down to go answer the door. My worst nightmare stood in front of me. My heart stopped beating as Dean's best friend, Turner, stood in front of me with the look of death written all over his face.

You know how in the movies when something horrible happens everything moves in slow motion? Well, that shit really happens.

Turner just stood there as my mind wrapped around why he was here. The sound around me became muffled, and my cheeks became wet. My knees were weak, and I couldn't speak. I fell into his arms, and he held me tightly as the darkest day of my life played out.

"Please tell me, Turner. How bad is it?" I begged him as he rocked me.

"It's bad, Lennox. I'm so sorry," he whispered into my ear. I felt his tears roll down my ear. He loved Dean almost as much as I did. "You need to go to him. He needs you."

I looked up and managed to mutter, "Can you drive me?"

"Of course."

The next few minutes were a blur. I rushed back into the house to grab my phone, shoes, and a jacket. I needed to call my parents to pick up the kids. I didn't know what to tell them about Dean since Turner didn't tell me what shape he was in, so I just told them that he got hurt, and I was going to the hospital.

As we drove to the hospital, I watched the world pass by in a daze as my mind retreated to a better moment in time.

It was hard for Dean to explain to the kids how much he loved his job. It meant a lot to him for his kids to understand why he chose a job that kept him away at night. They knew what his job meant as far as helping sick people, but the wow factor was lost on them. Unfortunately, they got a firsthand experience when our neighbor's house caught fire in the middle of the night last year.

A pounding on the front door jolted Dean and me out of bed. It was a frantic knocking that made my heart jump out of my chest in fear. We both ran down the stairs. Dean threw open the door, and our six-year- old neighbor stood in front of us. His face was covered in black smudges, and he was crying. We immediately smelled the smoke. Lexus and Drew charged down the stairs as Dean was shoving on his shoes and running out the door.

"I'll call 911," I said as I retrieved the phone off the counter in the kitchen. I quickly told them the address and hung up, and then we all followed after Dean. My heart was racing, afraid of what we might find. The thought of the children seeing something so terrifying made me stop in my tracks. Dean had already disappeared into the house. I turned to the kids blocking them from leaving the driveway.

"Wait, you guys. It's dangerous. You need to stay here and let Daddy help them." Randy, the little boy, was sobbing uncontrollably. My hands were shaking as I took him in my arms and rubbed his back. His parents were nowhere in sight, and he had younger twin sisters, all of whom were absent from the scene. I bent down to Randy and tried to get him to focus. "Randy, where are your parents and sisters?" I knew the answer, but I needed to confirm my fears.

"In the house."

My heart dropped, and I hugged him tightly. "It's going to be all right. I promise. Drew's daddy is going to help them, okay?"

He nodded with innocent trust that came so naturally to kids when an adult spoke to them.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Lexus asked.

I looked at the smoldering house and prayed quietly. I felt guilty because while my prayers were for all of them, they were especially for Dean. He had gone into the house with no gear and barely a shirt on his back. I heard the sirens in the distance, so they would be arriving within a matter of minutes, but I was afraid it wouldn't be soon enough. Just then Dean emerged from the smoky front door with both girls in his arms. They were coughing, but were alive. Tears of relief flooded me. Randy jumped up, but I grabbed him and held him back.

"Mommy, Daddy saved them!" Lexus shouted cheerfully.

I looked at Drew who was in awe of his dad. He was no longer just his dad. In that moment, he had become his hero. Dean rushed the girls over and dumped them into my arms.

"I need to get their parents," he said as he jetted off again.

"Dean, it's too dangerous. The engines are almost here," I pleaded with him.

The sirens were loud, so I knew they were just down the block.

"They don't have a minute, Lennox," he said as the smoke engulfed him again.

I could hear him coughing and then dead silence except for the smoke alarms that were chirping violently. I held the girls in my arms as they coughed and cried for their mom and dad. They were only four and didn't understand what was happening. I wanted to comfort them with words, but I was too wrapped up in my fear for Dean's safety that I couldn't find the words to say anything. I just rocked the girls as I sat next to Randy and my own two kids.

An engine pulled up and the crew jumped out. I put the girls down quickly and ran to give them an update. "My husband is inside looking for the parents. He works for the LA Fire Department."

"Please stay with the kids, ma'am," he said politely.

I stepped back and watched two of them race into the house with the hose. Dean was still in there, and the house was fully engulfed at this point. I could feel the panic ride in my chest. Drew walked up and stood beside me.

"Mommy, is Dad going to be okay?" he asked quietly.

I put my arm around him and squeezed him to my side. I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn't because I didn't know if he would be. Just then Dean came stumbling out of the house with Kristy in his arms. Randy ran past me.

"Mommy!" he yelled.

Right behind them the two firefighters came out of the house carrying Brian. Both parents were unconscious.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" one of the fireman asked Dean.

Dean looked over to Randy who was hunched over his mom crying. "Randy, was there anyone else in the house?"

Randy shook his head quickly.

The fireman shouted, "All clear!" He and the other one ran back into the house following the hose line.

Everyone lived through the fire, and we had made instant best friends with our neighbors after that. I only wish we had met sooner. That was a traumatic experience for us all, but it made Dean a hero in the eyes of his kids, and they seemed to let go of the loneliness at bedtime a little bit after that.

The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever. I just wanted to see Dean. I wanted him to step out of the hospital as he stepped out of that burning house, alive and unscathed.

****

C
ollege Years

A few days passed after seeing Dean at the coffee bar. I was trying to stay hopeful that while what we had was lost that there was still a chance for us to build a new path to the future. To our future.

I considered calling him, but I was nervous just like the first time I met him. I had butterflies thinking about our intimate moments, and I was scared of rejection. Instead, I decided to check the mail for college admission letters and to go for a walk. I had been checking the mail every day for the past month. I was determined to get my life back on track, and I knew that this was the first big step toward that.

I opened the front door and nearly slammed into Dean's fist. He was just about to knock. "Jesus. You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry," he laughed out.

"Ha-ha," I threw back sarcastically. It was nice to hear his laugh again. It infected my senses like a computer virus swimming the channels of the internet.

"Sorry. I was hoping we could talk, but it looks like you were just leaving."

"Not really. I was just going to get the mail."

"Can we go for a walk?" he asked coyly.

"Yeah, sure." I stepped out and closed the door. I ignored the mailbox as we passed it. Being this close to him again was weird. It had been so long since we were alone like this. I could feel the lost chemistry crackle to life as our hands accidentally bumped. It was something that disappeared along the way and to blame for the crater-sized distance that developed between us a few years into our relationship. It pushed me away and pushed him into the arms of another. I tried to dispel the memories as we reached my favorite viewpoint and writing spot. "So, what's up, Dean?"

"Not much."

I nodded silently. How was I supposed to respond to that? We were never great at small talk.

"I mean, everything. This. You. Me. We broke up a year ago, and every day I still think about you. Wondering how you are. Torturing myself over the possibility of you being with another guy."

We were having a difficult moment of honesty. This could either go really well or be a total disaster.

"I wasn't the one at the bar with another person," I pointed out.

"Shit, Len, I'm a guy. I was trying to move on. Do you think anybody would ever measure up to what we had?"

My heart fluttered, and my eyes filled with joyful tears that I held back.

"But you did find someone. Isn't that why you cheated on me?"
Dammit.
I was clearing the past away. "Sorry. Forget I said that."

I sat on the ground in front of the cliff drop off. It was a cooler day, but the sun was shining bright as it made its approach to noon. He sat next to me. Right next to me. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to recapture the first years of our life together. I fucked up with Braedyn. I should've respected what Dean and I had and ignored the feelings that Braedyn brewed inside of me. Maybe then none of this would have happened.

"It's okay," he interrupted my thoughts.

"It really isn't, Dean. I promised myself I would let go of all of that. It's the only way we would have a chance at a future."

"Do you actually think we can start over, Len? After everything?"

I stared at an ant darting across the dusty pebbles in front of my feet. How simple its life was. Not expressing my feelings was my biggest flaw. I was always guarded and protective of my mental stability. What I was about to say would be the most honest thing I had ever said to anyone. I took a deep breath.
You can do this. You need to do this.
"It's the only thing that has been keeping me going."

Dean knew me. He knew how hard that was for me to say. He grabbed my chin and turned my lips to his and said, "I love you, Lennox. My heart has been carefully bandaged since we broke up and now you have set it free." He leaned over and planted the softest and most emotionally intense-filled kisses on my lips that released the tears from eyes. I grabbed him around the neck and straddled him.

That kiss seemed to last for hours. Both of us not willing to let go of a moment we had dreamed about having again for years.

I loved this man with all my heart, and he loved me with all his soul. A piece of me might always belong to Braedyn, but I knew what I needed and wanted, and it was Dean.

****

P
resent

We were almost to the hospital. The memory of that kiss broke down my defenses. The fear of losing Dean forever filled my core and made me nauseous. How could I live without him? How would I survive?

The kids.

They would save me, but would I be enough for them? They adored their daddy. I adored him. I started to cry. Turner rubbed my back offering the only kind of comfort he could. There were no words that could make this better. His touch made me feel a little less alone in this nightmare.

Getting to the right area of the hospital was chaotic, but mainly a blur. I still wasn't thinking clearly. Turner was leading the way, and I just trailed behind him. When we got to the correct waiting area, I was overwhelmed by the presence of all the people. His crew was there, plus many other firemen, captains, and chiefs. The support of the department was inspiring and overwhelming.

Dean's direct captain, Vic, was the first to approach me.

He embraced me in an unconventional hug and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Lennox."

I felt bad for him. The safety and lives of the crew were on his shoulders. The guilt he must have felt.

I hugged him back and said, "I'm sorry, too."

He pulled away and went back to his spot in the sea of dark blue uniforms. I wanted to ask how bad it was, but I couldn't.

"Mrs. Ashford?"

I turned to face a handsome man in a white coat.

"I'm Dean's doctor. Please feel free to call me Dr. Cole or just Cole."

He held out his hand for me to shake. I took it like a fragile bird with a broken wing.

"Can we talk in private?" he asked as he scanned the large crowd.

"Please," I muttered.

He took me from the security of the love that filled that room to a sterile, empty hospital room with awful bright fluorescent lights.

"Did anyone fill you in on what happened?" Dr. Cole inquired.

"No." I lowered my head and picked at the skin around my fingernails.

"I will let them fill you in on the details of the scene, but I'd like to tell you the extent of his injuries and the odds of recovery."

I swallowed hard, hoping I wouldn't have a breakdown.
Please keep it together.
I looked up at him.

"When he fell, he landed on his right side, shattering almost every bone on that side of his body. He has internal bleeding, and he's in a coma from massive head trauma. We were able to go in and relieve the pressure building in his brain. We are waiting on the brain activity results."

His lips kept moving, but I couldn't hear him anymore. All that kept repeating in my head was internal bleeding, coma, and brain activity. I was feeling weak and supported my weight on the hospital bed. His voice suddenly stopped, and he grabbed both of my arms firmly as I fell to the ground.

"Mrs. Ashford, are you okay?"

His voice was clearer now. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mrs. Ashford. This is a lot to take in."

He was a kind doctor. On TV they seemed so cold and distant. "Please call me Lennox."

"Okay, Lennox. Can I get somebody to keep you company? Maybe it would be better if you had someone else as I go through all the details."

"Yes, that would be helpful. Can you get Turner, please?"

"Yes, why don't you sit in the chair?"